Warning: Emo-ing Ahead
I looked away
then I look back at you,
You try to say
the things that you can't undo,
If I had my way
I'd never get over you,
Today's the day
I pray that we make it through.
Make it through the fall,
Make it through it all.
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want sit and stare at you.
I don't want talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want cry in front of you.
I don't want talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you.
You're the only one
I'd be with till the end.
When I come undone
you bring me back again.
Back under the stars,
Back into your arms.
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want sit and stare at you.
I don't want talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want cry in front of you.
I don't want talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you.
Wanna know who you are,
Wanna know where to start,
I wanna know what this means.
Wanna know how you feel,
Wanna know what is real.
I wanna know everything... Everything.
I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just want sit and stare at you.
I don't want talk about it
And i don't want a conversation
I just want cry in front of you.
I don't want talk about it.
And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it.
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you.
I don't want to talk about it.
'Cause I'm in love wth you
I'm in love with you,
'Cause I'm in love with you.
I'm in love with you,
I'm in love with you.
I've really gotta get better at this whole 'moving on' thing.
It's only been a few days since I sent Donovon my best attempt at a kiss-off, and I'm already going nuts. There's nothing worse in my mind than a lack of communication. It's not that I'm regretting my decision. He doesn't give me the attention that I think I deserve. It really doesn't take a lot of time or effort to reply to an email every couple of weeks. It's the way that he shut me out that makes me so mad. Ever since the cancelled coffee date, I apparently haven't been worth the time-of-day. I don't doubt at this point that he's blocked me off his MSN list. Hell, he could even be updating his LJ under a filter. I'm surprised he's even kept me on his friends list. Maybe it's just a matter of him getting around to it.
I just wanna scream at him. But there's no point. Y'know, it's not even about my feelings for him anymore. It's because I've been let down by a friend. A friend that I've made all kinds of effort to be there for. The first time he really let me down, I forgave him. It took us a while to get back to a comfortable place, but I let him back in. When he was injured, I offered to drop everything to come up there and look after him. And I would have done it in a heartbeat. Hell, I spent more on his birthday gift than I ever have on a gift for any real-life friend. And I've certainly never sent anyone else a care package when they were ill. It all feels like such a waste now. Like... I kept hoping that if I held on long enough, he'd finally get it. He'd finally think "Maybe this could really work." But he's never put in the effort. I've pined, I've reached out, I've gone all-out... I've done everything I can think of.
So what do I get in return? Ignored emails and a heartfelt 'meh'.
It kills me. Because in the end, I'd be more than happy to put it behind me, and forgive him, and hold onto hope that things could work out for us. But communication is a two-way street. And right now it's like I'm yelling into the darkness, and all I'm hearing is my own echo.
God I'm pathetic.
Sorry to emo at you all, but hey, at least I posted a warning.
~ Rob