Saudade
fanfic. fanfic
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His sister looks at things he can't see.
From time to time, Ana would looked out the window, in that direction anyway, and stared off into whatever she saw. It could be something on the glass pane, or something beyond the horizon. He had no way of knowing it at all.
Despite the common things they shared, his sister is so different, a one eighty to him. Is it because she is a woman? Or because she really does see things that he cannot?
"Ana, what are you looking at?"
"Nothing" She answered without turning to him.
"Well, clearly, that's not nothing. What is it you like to look at so much out there? Just tell me this once" He sat down in front of her. Ana stared off for another while before slowly turned to him, as if she had just realized that he was there.
"The view?"
"What exactly in the view?"
She smiled, but only a little.
"Many things. The sea, the sky, the clouds, the beach, the trees hm... that's all I can named right now" Her smile hadn't fade, but still distance and somehow melancholic. Although undeniably beautiful, Antonio hated it so.
"There's more. What else do you see? Fairies and monsters like those Arthur said he sees? You're so close to him I wonder if his weirdness gets into you" He said, averting his eyes disturbingly. He had never been good at sarcasm, not to her. She laughed.
"I sometimes do. Though it'd be nice if Arthur sees all these I see too.
"So even a weirdo like that eyebrow jerk can't see whatever you're looking at"
"No, but I'm surprise you can't see"
"Me?"
"Come on here, look"
She pulled him over and pressed her finger on the glass pane. Again, he didn't know where to look. Is it on the glass? Or is it where the sea and the sky merged together, where the clouds disappear behind the cliff or where the sand turned into soil under the bushes?
"Where, sister? What is it?"
"Can you really not see?"
"What is it am I suppose to look for? or look at?"
Ana sighed. She leaned back into her chair. Her eyes moved to his face. Antonio looked back at his sister. A woman he had known all his life and yet, he can never tell what is on her mind. Can never explain his own distorted reflection in her eyes.
"Giant Squid battling a whale. Great white shark chasing it's prays. A sea serpent twirling through a maze of coral reef. Schools of fished swirling in silver spiral"
"Those are things you know are happening somewhere out there, sister. I see those on Discovery channel every day"
She laughed again. He started to feel stupid.
"Ana, come on"
"Yes..well... I see..... ships lost at sea. Lands rich and wild, too large to hold in our hands. Never ending forests and its many wonderful creatures. People, strangers, friends and foes. Men, husbands and fathers, brothers and sons. Women, so much of their tears, wives and mothers, daughters and sisters. Do you not see any?"
"I remember them. Don't see anymore, though"
"I see them, every single one of them, clear as day"
"Sister, where are you?"
"What are you talking about, I'm right here?"
"Your body, maybe. Where is your heart? This.....What is going on...in here..?" Antonio reached out a hand, almost touching his sister just above the left side of her chest. He lifted his hand up, pushed her hair from her face, stroking gently just beside her ear. "Or in here..."
"Nothing, nothing at all" Ana touched his hand, pressed it to her cheek.
"How can it be nothing?"
"I'm not thinking. Simply...revisiting all those I love"
"Ana... come back here" His voice cracked. Inside he was desperate. He edged closer to his sister, reaching his arms out.
"I am here, Antonio" She told him with that simple smile as he wrapped his arms around her.
"No. Ana, please, stay here with me" He said as he buries his face in her shoulder.
"I'll be right back with you, come on" She sound as if she was giggling as she spoke. Ana gently pushed Antonio out. She smiled. There was nothing he could have done.
Maybe she'd come back when it was time to prepare supper. She would come back when she had to work. And she would definitely come back to get on with her life as if nothing ever happened.
But in those time that she had a chance to steal a glance out that window. She'd be gone. She'd go to where no one else know.
Beyond the horizon, on the glass pane that had been broken since ever.
-------------
Not only that I'm obsessed with Port and this word. I've been feeling really sucks without reasons. (Well there is one explainable valid reason, some lazy bitch pissed me off and it is impossible to just ignore her since we're assigned to the same group project.)
And I called home last night. Ans as much better I felt now, I also feel even worse with the thought that I wont be going home this summer for internship. And I might not even actually be going home after I graduate, since that's when I'll have to find myself a job, and I'm not looking at Thailand for my first job.
My grandma is old. I want to be beside her.
I loath this future. so much.
------------
His sister looks at things he can't see.
From time to time, Ana would looked out the window, in that direction anyway, and stared off into whatever she saw. It could be something on the glass pane, or something beyond the horizon. He had no way of knowing it at all.
Despite the common things they shared, his sister is so different, a one eighty to him. Is it because she is a woman? Or because she really does see things that he cannot?
"Ana, what are you looking at?"
"Nothing" She answered without turning to him.
"Well, clearly, that's not nothing. What is it you like to look at so much out there? Just tell me this once" He sat down in front of her. Ana stared off for another while before slowly turned to him, as if she had just realized that he was there.
"The view?"
"What exactly in the view?"
She smiled, but only a little.
"Many things. The sea, the sky, the clouds, the beach, the trees hm... that's all I can named right now" Her smile hadn't fade, but still distance and somehow melancholic. Although undeniably beautiful, Antonio hated it so.
"There's more. What else do you see? Fairies and monsters like those Arthur said he sees? You're so close to him I wonder if his weirdness gets into you" He said, averting his eyes disturbingly. He had never been good at sarcasm, not to her. She laughed.
"I sometimes do. Though it'd be nice if Arthur sees all these I see too.
"So even a weirdo like that eyebrow jerk can't see whatever you're looking at"
"No, but I'm surprise you can't see"
"Me?"
"Come on here, look"
She pulled him over and pressed her finger on the glass pane. Again, he didn't know where to look. Is it on the glass? Or is it where the sea and the sky merged together, where the clouds disappear behind the cliff or where the sand turned into soil under the bushes?
"Where, sister? What is it?"
"Can you really not see?"
"What is it am I suppose to look for? or look at?"
Ana sighed. She leaned back into her chair. Her eyes moved to his face. Antonio looked back at his sister. A woman he had known all his life and yet, he can never tell what is on her mind. Can never explain his own distorted reflection in her eyes.
"Giant Squid battling a whale. Great white shark chasing it's prays. A sea serpent twirling through a maze of coral reef. Schools of fished swirling in silver spiral"
"Those are things you know are happening somewhere out there, sister. I see those on Discovery channel every day"
She laughed again. He started to feel stupid.
"Ana, come on"
"Yes..well... I see..... ships lost at sea. Lands rich and wild, too large to hold in our hands. Never ending forests and its many wonderful creatures. People, strangers, friends and foes. Men, husbands and fathers, brothers and sons. Women, so much of their tears, wives and mothers, daughters and sisters. Do you not see any?"
"I remember them. Don't see anymore, though"
"I see them, every single one of them, clear as day"
"Sister, where are you?"
"What are you talking about, I'm right here?"
"Your body, maybe. Where is your heart? This.....What is going on...in here..?" Antonio reached out a hand, almost touching his sister just above the left side of her chest. He lifted his hand up, pushed her hair from her face, stroking gently just beside her ear. "Or in here..."
"Nothing, nothing at all" Ana touched his hand, pressed it to her cheek.
"How can it be nothing?"
"I'm not thinking. Simply...revisiting all those I love"
"Ana... come back here" His voice cracked. Inside he was desperate. He edged closer to his sister, reaching his arms out.
"I am here, Antonio" She told him with that simple smile as he wrapped his arms around her.
"No. Ana, please, stay here with me" He said as he buries his face in her shoulder.
"I'll be right back with you, come on" She sound as if she was giggling as she spoke. Ana gently pushed Antonio out. She smiled. There was nothing he could have done.
Maybe she'd come back when it was time to prepare supper. She would come back when she had to work. And she would definitely come back to get on with her life as if nothing ever happened.
But in those time that she had a chance to steal a glance out that window. She'd be gone. She'd go to where no one else know.
Beyond the horizon, on the glass pane that had been broken since ever.
-------------
Not only that I'm obsessed with Port and this word. I've been feeling really sucks without reasons. (Well there is one explainable valid reason, some lazy bitch pissed me off and it is impossible to just ignore her since we're assigned to the same group project.)
And I called home last night. Ans as much better I felt now, I also feel even worse with the thought that I wont be going home this summer for internship. And I might not even actually be going home after I graduate, since that's when I'll have to find myself a job, and I'm not looking at Thailand for my first job.
My grandma is old. I want to be beside her.
I loath this future. so much.