Why?
Lately I have been feeling really lost and confused more than usual. I thought that playing DDR and bringing back my ranking in this town again would make me feel better, but it's not doing anything. I've asked this girl out, but she's still obsessed with my ex-best friend. Well...I guess I really can't call him a friend cuz he was more than that to me. I actually looked up to him like an older brother, though he was younger, till he turned into some complete a-f#&$. I have feelings for this girl and I asked her out, but I know that she's still in love with him even though that she knows he has know interest in him. How do I know this? I've talked to him first hand, but it's not my place to say something like that to her. I'd look like such a freakin' a-hole from that point of view.
We have a date on Saturday because she said that she'd give anyone a chance that asked her out. What a great position to be in...stuck between a girl you like and her obsessed with someone whom you had complete and utter respect for. I just don't know what I want anymore. I've always been one to fight, but this isn't a fight, it's a freakin' competition. I don't compete in something like this, it's just stupid. Then why in the world am I still agreeing to go to the movies this Saturday "as friends?" I feel as though I'm obligated to do so, not because of her, but because I'm not one to go back on my word if I say that I'm going to do something. Being given a chance while she's in love with another guy, what the heck kind of chance is that? I just don't know what to do anymore.
On top of that, I found out that recently that a friend of mine from another highschool I went to, got kicked out off school for drinking there, and pretty much went straight downhill from there. I just wish that for once, I'd be able to get through the week without having something that ticks me off so much. I try to take it easy, but it's like these things just comes right out, deliberately finds me, and tortures me. I just need to find a day and just get out of town. Maybe go out to the city for another suburb and get away from all this...