today was exciting....earlier anyway.
Today I woke up, ate breakfast, then me and my mom went to the bank and I got my own checking and savings accounts. Then I went to work, stayed for a torturous extra hour, got my pay check and went to the bank and cashed and deposited and asked for a pen all by myself. I felt very grown up, lol.
Then I went home, hung out in my house wondering where my family was, kept looking hopefully at my phone and felt very hungry.
After dinner we attempted to go to the movies, but that failed, because I guess we weren't the only people who wanted to see PotC?
So they went to see Superman, but I went home and hung out by myself because I was kinda like, maybe someone will call and we'll do something!
And I did get a call from a close friend, and his name is the television.
And I realized that for the past...I dunno how long...but I haven't been really down in quite a long time, just cause I usually have somewhere to go or someone to hang out with, you know, whenever, so I'm usually too busy going and having fun to get all depressed again like I sorta used to be kind of a lot of the time. But whenever I wind up home by myself I start getting cranky and emo and sad. Motherfucker.
Then of course I realize, it's FRIDAY, it's movie night, but movie nights sort of stopped existing for some reason. I don't know why, and there's that thing where everyone thinks I motherfucking hate them, but that's not true, not true at all.
Though some people who like to openly snub me at the fireworks for no apparent reason? Fuck you. I wasn't mad before that, but well, take a peek at the beginning of the last entry if you want my opinion on that.
But all that means is, oh, there's another person or more people who aren't going to call.
And sure I could call people, but that's not my thing? Aka, I mostly just suck at life, or at least phone calls. I'm a dick, what can I say.
And of course, everyone is reading this and being like "oh my god! what an attention whore! ick!" and now no one's going to call me ever again. Well fuck you. It's my livejournal. Livejournal is basically synonymous with emo attention whore and rarely do I use mine for its god-given purpose. I think so at least.
Bah. I'm just ranting about anything and everything so if we want to get technical, let's go into more detail. Or just sleepy, delusional, unconnected rantings and ravings that would probably be better off in my paper diary, but no one reads that so it really doesn't help. So here goes. I've changed a lot. No shit. Good job. But I like who I am now. I mean, I've always liked who I am, at the time of pondering myself, but looking back? I usually think, holy shit. I was such a stupid emo bitch, or some shit. And of course one day when I'm 23 or something I'll look back and be like, shit. I was such a slutty mcslutface (thanks james) bitchy obnoxious jerk or god only knows what but I don't care. I like me and I feel I'm a lot happier than I was. I needed to change, I think. I was sick of being the excessively sweet, stupid and innocent one. Kind of sick of being typecast or stereotyped. Now I'm just me. Well, not really. I know I tend to emulate the people I hang out with almost ad nauseam. Like I'll say something and be like, wait, i don't say that. But it's conscious at least and I do try really hard to be myself.
However I kind of think that me for real is pretty boring and a hideous conversationalist.
I am sort of proud of my sarcasm though, in a horridly twisted way.
But I mean I'm still sweet, I think. Only I'm not some candy coated girl next door straight out of some cheap ass anime.
I know I'm still pretty dumb, a fact I prove regularly, lol. And I can laugh at myself. But I'm not trying to be dumb to fill some expectational shoes.
You know you liked that analogy. Don't lie.
Innocent? Hmmmm. I dunno. What's innocent. Sort of oblivous? Well I've still got that at least.
sXe? No, not so much. But I don't really care.
I think I've said this before, but if I was my year ago self, and I met my right now self, I might be disgusted or appalled or just very...hate...y.
But that's just...I dunno. Growing up? That seems so cliche and narrow minded and like something a stupid teenager would say. And I know I'm a stupid teenager, but in that stupid teenager fashion I just can't stand to admit it. Maybe it's just changing and doesn't really have anything to do with being an adolescent, just with time. Or wisdom or something. Note to self, stop playing so much Kingdom Hearts.
Which of course brings me back to my point of I NEED TO GET OUT MORE.
It's like a big ass fucking circle.
Fucking circle? That seems almost intriguing.
Venting really does put me in a better mood. :)
Anyone who read that whole thing? Your reward is some hxc sexual favors.
Only not really.
Sorry to disappoint.
Of course if you know the secret password and/or pagan ritual, well then that's a whole nother story and the sexual favors are hereby yours.
Ummmm note to self, stop offering sexual favors over the internet. That's pretty sketch.
K so night. :) ♥
ps. fuck lj-cuts. your friends pages can't be wussies forever. the best way to fix that is HUMONGOUS JOURNAL ENTRIES OMG.
Then I went home, hung out in my house wondering where my family was, kept looking hopefully at my phone and felt very hungry.
After dinner we attempted to go to the movies, but that failed, because I guess we weren't the only people who wanted to see PotC?
So they went to see Superman, but I went home and hung out by myself because I was kinda like, maybe someone will call and we'll do something!
And I did get a call from a close friend, and his name is the television.
And I realized that for the past...I dunno how long...but I haven't been really down in quite a long time, just cause I usually have somewhere to go or someone to hang out with, you know, whenever, so I'm usually too busy going and having fun to get all depressed again like I sorta used to be kind of a lot of the time. But whenever I wind up home by myself I start getting cranky and emo and sad. Motherfucker.
Then of course I realize, it's FRIDAY, it's movie night, but movie nights sort of stopped existing for some reason. I don't know why, and there's that thing where everyone thinks I motherfucking hate them, but that's not true, not true at all.
Though some people who like to openly snub me at the fireworks for no apparent reason? Fuck you. I wasn't mad before that, but well, take a peek at the beginning of the last entry if you want my opinion on that.
But all that means is, oh, there's another person or more people who aren't going to call.
And sure I could call people, but that's not my thing? Aka, I mostly just suck at life, or at least phone calls. I'm a dick, what can I say.
And of course, everyone is reading this and being like "oh my god! what an attention whore! ick!" and now no one's going to call me ever again. Well fuck you. It's my livejournal. Livejournal is basically synonymous with emo attention whore and rarely do I use mine for its god-given purpose. I think so at least.
Bah. I'm just ranting about anything and everything so if we want to get technical, let's go into more detail. Or just sleepy, delusional, unconnected rantings and ravings that would probably be better off in my paper diary, but no one reads that so it really doesn't help. So here goes. I've changed a lot. No shit. Good job. But I like who I am now. I mean, I've always liked who I am, at the time of pondering myself, but looking back? I usually think, holy shit. I was such a stupid emo bitch, or some shit. And of course one day when I'm 23 or something I'll look back and be like, shit. I was such a slutty mcslutface (thanks james) bitchy obnoxious jerk or god only knows what but I don't care. I like me and I feel I'm a lot happier than I was. I needed to change, I think. I was sick of being the excessively sweet, stupid and innocent one. Kind of sick of being typecast or stereotyped. Now I'm just me. Well, not really. I know I tend to emulate the people I hang out with almost ad nauseam. Like I'll say something and be like, wait, i don't say that. But it's conscious at least and I do try really hard to be myself.
However I kind of think that me for real is pretty boring and a hideous conversationalist.
I am sort of proud of my sarcasm though, in a horridly twisted way.
But I mean I'm still sweet, I think. Only I'm not some candy coated girl next door straight out of some cheap ass anime.
I know I'm still pretty dumb, a fact I prove regularly, lol. And I can laugh at myself. But I'm not trying to be dumb to fill some expectational shoes.
You know you liked that analogy. Don't lie.
Innocent? Hmmmm. I dunno. What's innocent. Sort of oblivous? Well I've still got that at least.
sXe? No, not so much. But I don't really care.
I think I've said this before, but if I was my year ago self, and I met my right now self, I might be disgusted or appalled or just very...hate...y.
But that's just...I dunno. Growing up? That seems so cliche and narrow minded and like something a stupid teenager would say. And I know I'm a stupid teenager, but in that stupid teenager fashion I just can't stand to admit it. Maybe it's just changing and doesn't really have anything to do with being an adolescent, just with time. Or wisdom or something. Note to self, stop playing so much Kingdom Hearts.
Which of course brings me back to my point of I NEED TO GET OUT MORE.
It's like a big ass fucking circle.
Fucking circle? That seems almost intriguing.
Venting really does put me in a better mood. :)
Anyone who read that whole thing? Your reward is some hxc sexual favors.
Only not really.
Sorry to disappoint.
Of course if you know the secret password and/or pagan ritual, well then that's a whole nother story and the sexual favors are hereby yours.
Ummmm note to self, stop offering sexual favors over the internet. That's pretty sketch.
K so night. :) ♥
ps. fuck lj-cuts. your friends pages can't be wussies forever. the best way to fix that is HUMONGOUS JOURNAL ENTRIES OMG.