No Rest for the Weary
Sam remained in the bathroom even after the ill feeling left her. She looked at her hand and flexed the fingers a bit. She knew it had been awhile since she had this sort of similar feeling before, but it seemed worse this time. She didn't listen in on their conversation not having any care to it. This wasn't her responsibility. Her eyes glowing in the darkness would seem eerie to a lot of people, but she had a lot of softness to them. She had let the cold exterior fade from her body long ago. Even when she would bring it up, as she has done the last day or so, it would quickly fall.
Reno sighed as he closed the door behind Yuffie, having finally gotten her to leave. He wasn't sure how much time had actually passed, but talking to her made it seem much longer. As he sank onto the sofa and massaged his eyes, he nearly forgot about Sam.
Sam! Where was she again? Oh, right, she'd shut herself away in the bathroom. That was a little weird.
With a soft groan, Reno pushed himself back up to standing again and lightly knocked on the bathroom door. "Sam? You okay in there?"
Sam heard the knocking and sighed hearing his voice. She didn't mind it though. She really did feel like talking to someone actually made her feel a bit better. She really hadn't talked to many people since after his death, "You can come in if you want..." She told him not motioning to get up.
Reno paused, uncertain about that -- there really was no telling what he'd find behind that door. After a moment of thinking about it, though, he slowly opened it. "You decent?"
Blink blink. "It's dark in here, yo, you been sittin' in the pitch black this whole time?"
Sam lifted up her head and responds, "Didn't feel up to turning on the lights, sorry." She leaned her head back against the wall. "Also, I'm sorry for giving you a scare earlier." She wasn't sure what else to say to him about that.
Reno shook his head. "Don't apologize if you're sick, yo, just wanna make sure you're okay. You were kinda freakin' earlier, what was that all about? You need ta' lie down again?"
Sam blinked not at all expecting someone like him would make sure she was 'okay'. She would be lying if she wasn't touched by this. She shook her head, "No, I am fine now. Don't worry about that...I don't think it will happen again any time soon. However, since I am in your own home, I have to tell you something at least. I have this relapse ever since I lost him to those dark seraphs. I can sense the life stream from life forms. You know we are all created from the life stream...even the animals and trees. My body is slowly dying..."
Reno gave her an odd look. "Waitaminute... start from the beginnin' here. What?"
Sam stood up onto her feet using the wall for support, "You know I'm not fully human. I don't blame you for not understanding anything that I say...That is okay. I will be gone before that happens to me again. I rather not put you in harms way when I can prevent it."
Reno raised his hands, half in a "hold up" motion and half to keep her from leaving. "Whoa there, this is exactly what I'm talkin' about. Harms way? What does that hafta do with the Lifestream an' slowly dyin' and... and whatever?" He gave her a hard look, pressing for answers.
Sam stopped and gave him silent eye contact. She wasn't sure how to make him understand. He is a Turk...he couldn't understand. It still amazed her she would say that he may get hurt and he still showed concern. "You really are a strange one...you care for an enemy even though I could try and kill you right now..You have no weapon on you so you're completely unarmed...Why do you care for an ex-rebel like me?"
"Look, lemme be perfectly clear," Reno began, "I don't care for enemies. I don't care for rebels. But ya saved my life, so 'til the end a' today or longer if it happens again, I owe ya one. Furthermore, if ya say somethin' like I'm in 'harms way,' doncha' think I'd care about that?"
"Not t' mention," he continued, "an' I'm sure this'll stir your anti-ShinRa ire, but you're a valuable resource. You've got experience with the Dark Seraphs, you were trained as a SOLDIER, an' you're damn strong. You're an investment worth protectin', yo."
Sam couldn't help a small smile at that. She was continually amused by him returning back to the ShinRa's mind. He clearly was into his work even though he did show laziness to it. Hearing that last part she lost the smile, "Experience... I saved you yes, but that luck will eventually run out. I am not sure exactly if I could withstand more guilt. I have to admit this to you, but you're one of the only few left that actually have seen me in the past and know who I am."
"Doesn't matter," Reno answered readily.
Sam grit her teeth when he said that. She took that as an offense and was clearly upset, "'Doesn't matter'?? Do you have ANY idea what I have gone through with these damn things!? I spent two years running from these damn dark seraphs that killed the one I loved. I watched him die and there was nothing I could do about it! He told me to run while he held them off knowing what was going to become of him! I ran away!...I was a coward.." She didn't hold back the tears as she did when the sprinklers went off.
Her glowing eyes seemed to have a glassy appearance to them.
Reno stared at her long and hard, the same look in his eye, as he listened and let her finish. Once she was done, he inhaled slowly through his nose.
"Doesn't matter," he repeated. "Look -- we all do things we regret. But we can't change the past. The only way we ever know if we can 'withstand more guilt,' as you say, is t' just get up off our asses an' try. An' if we've learned anythin' at all, then the next time around we shouldn't do anythin' that'll make us feel guilt. But sittin' around and cryin', feelin' bad for ourselves because we fucked up so long ago an' we can't do anythin' about it? That changes nothing."
There was a harsh, cold deadness to his eyes as he spoke -- the eyes of a true Turk, deadly and never scar-free from the job.
"You don't wanna be a coward? Then stop running."
Sam listened to him and wasn't sure what she should do for herself. Even if she did try and stop these Dark Seraphs, no matter what she did, it still wouldn't bring him back or anyone in fact. Apart of her wanted revenge for his death, but was that really what she wanted? Or should she fight to actually save everyone that she could? Her mind felt scattered all over the place.
She stared at him with soft eyes for some time before suddenly started moving towards him. She opened up her arms and leaned over to wrap her arms around him in a hug.
Sam's hug caught Reno off-guard and he froze for a moment. Bloodthirsty assassins don't often get cuddles. But it broke him of his icy exterior and, relieved he'd apparently gotten through to her, he briefly returned Sam's embrace.
"A'right now, buck up," he said after a few seconds. "People gonna need you -- gotta be strong now, 'kay?"
Sam buried her head into his neck and nodded a bit. She spoke into his neck, "Fine...I'll do what I can until I take my last breath." She promised. She wasn't sure how much she truly can do before that happens, but she was willing to try.
It did feel good to actually hug someone though. Even if that person is a Turk, oddly at that.
"Good. I'll hold ya t' that." Reno gently brought Sam back to hold her at arm's length. His eyes now adjusted to the dim light from the doorway, he could see she was so... so... disheveled. He couldn't help but smile crookedly at her puffy-eyed post-crying face.
Sam let him go and stared back at him. She nodded her head as a response not even making a motion to try and hide the tears from her eyes. It was much too late to hide them now. She didn't feel quite embarrassed as she thought she would be though. How broken was she? She felt so confused and her mind was going all over the place. She found it even crazy she would actually have a short thought in her mind that actually thought he was somewhat attractive. Why!?
"I'll, uh, letcha' clean yourself up," Reno suggested. "Want me to hit the lights for ya on my way out?"
Sam put a hand up to her eyes and wiped the already drying tears from her face, "I think I can turn the lights on myself if you don't mind. I'm not that totally worthless." She joked slightly.
"Thank you.."
Reno chuckled. "No problem." He turned and headed back to the common room to give her some privacy.
Sam watched him go before turning the lights on in the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and the first thought that came to mind was thank goodness the lights weren't on in the first place. She must have looked awful in the dark, but with the lights on it looked much worse. She let out a sigh and turned on the water to begin wiping off her face to get rid of all the traces of where the tears were.
Reno looked around, trying to occupy himself so it didn't look like he was listening to Sam wash her face. That would be... weird, to say the least. He sighed, and almost in unison, his stomach grumbled, surprising him. It was later than he thought, and now that he finally had a moment to himself he realized how hungry he was.
Not that he had any food in the place.
"Mind if I order a pizza?" he called to the bathroom.
Sam turned off the water and responds, "That is totally up to you. It’s your home." She wasn't sure why he would ask her if he could order pizza. She shrugged her shoulders and went to wipe her face with a towel before heading out. Then the phone rang.
Sam would be able to easily hear Reno groan from down the hall.
"Food's gonna hafta wait," he said with a tinge of regret. "It's work."
He put the phone to his ear. "Yeah, 'Laney?"
Elena replied, "Tseng gave me orders to tell you that we can no longer move around separately to do our assignments...we will all be on call for now. So be prepared to leave if you're called Reno, this is serious." She warned him knowing his laziness could sometimes irritate her.
"I'm guessin' you heard about the incident at the lab, then?" Reno asked, assuming that was why orders changed. He wasn't about to question strength in numbers -- he'd seen firsthand that Dark Seraphs meant business and could easily rip someone to pieces. Besides, an emphasis on team work meant he'd be spending more time with Rude.
Elena was silent for a moment before responding, "What? Something happened in the lab too?" Tseng never told her something happened in the lab.
Reno's eyebrows couldn't rise any higher. "You serious, yo?" he blurted out. "He didn't tell you? Then... why did you think orders changed now?"
Elena bit her bottom lip finding this situation getting even more serious, "The main warehouse was broken in. I went to scout it out and there was a murder case there. Tseng came and he happened to mention something about a Dark Seraph and someone..or something showed up, but we never actually saw it...we just heard it talking to itself."
That was most definitely not good. "Damn..." There was one thing that confused Reno, though. "But, why break into the main warehouse to kill someone? Or even stash a body?' he wondered aloud. "I mean, if ya want attention, there's a good chance no one's gonna find it. But if ya want to hide the crime, there's easier ways than breakin' one of our heavy locks.
That was most definitely not good. "Damn..." There was one thing that confused Reno, though.
"But, why break into the main warehouse to kill someone? Or even stash a body?' he wondered aloud. "I mean, if ya want attention, there's a good chance no one's gonna find it. But if ya want to hide the crime, there's easier ways than breakin' one of our heavy locks. I mean, break a ShinRa lock, and..."
He stopped as he realized it. "Break a ShinRa lock, an' ShinRa's gonna notice. 'Laney, this is big -- whoever left that body knew what they were doin'. They wanted someone t' notice, but not just anyone, they wanted us t' notice!"
Reno felt a sinking feeling in his gut. "Elena, we all need to meet and share info, ASAP. We just got sent a message."
Reno had no idea how right he was. Elena took a moment in thought. She was not told she couldn't share the info she had to another Turk. "I think we should...I haven't even seen these things and from what I have heard...It sounds a very ill intent."
Reno realized something else. " 'Laney, we gotta go off the grid for this. Somethin' tells me there's somethin' deeper here, an' I got a feelin' we've just got targets painted on our backs. Don't go anywhere alone if you can help it -- stay with Tseng if you just saw 'im. We gotta meet in the most... non-ShinRa place we can think of."
"Most importantly -- make sure you're not followed."
Elena nodded her head agreeing, "I think that is a sound plan..." She couldn't think of anywhere on the top of her head that would fit that location though.
"Tell Tseng. With all of us, we'll figure out somethin'." He'd better, he knew.
Elena responds, "Understood...I will call when I find something else out..." She wondered if Tseng had any ideas on this.
"Oh -- and 'Laney?"
"Yeah?"
"Find Shana, too. You guys used t' be, y'know, friends..." Awkward. "She was an important witness. Anythin' that happens from here on out could put her in danger."
Reno sighed as he closed the door behind Yuffie, having finally gotten her to leave. He wasn't sure how much time had actually passed, but talking to her made it seem much longer. As he sank onto the sofa and massaged his eyes, he nearly forgot about Sam.
Sam! Where was she again? Oh, right, she'd shut herself away in the bathroom. That was a little weird.
With a soft groan, Reno pushed himself back up to standing again and lightly knocked on the bathroom door. "Sam? You okay in there?"
Sam heard the knocking and sighed hearing his voice. She didn't mind it though. She really did feel like talking to someone actually made her feel a bit better. She really hadn't talked to many people since after his death, "You can come in if you want..." She told him not motioning to get up.
Reno paused, uncertain about that -- there really was no telling what he'd find behind that door. After a moment of thinking about it, though, he slowly opened it. "You decent?"
Blink blink. "It's dark in here, yo, you been sittin' in the pitch black this whole time?"
Sam lifted up her head and responds, "Didn't feel up to turning on the lights, sorry." She leaned her head back against the wall. "Also, I'm sorry for giving you a scare earlier." She wasn't sure what else to say to him about that.
Reno shook his head. "Don't apologize if you're sick, yo, just wanna make sure you're okay. You were kinda freakin' earlier, what was that all about? You need ta' lie down again?"
Sam blinked not at all expecting someone like him would make sure she was 'okay'. She would be lying if she wasn't touched by this. She shook her head, "No, I am fine now. Don't worry about that...I don't think it will happen again any time soon. However, since I am in your own home, I have to tell you something at least. I have this relapse ever since I lost him to those dark seraphs. I can sense the life stream from life forms. You know we are all created from the life stream...even the animals and trees. My body is slowly dying..."
Reno gave her an odd look. "Waitaminute... start from the beginnin' here. What?"
Sam stood up onto her feet using the wall for support, "You know I'm not fully human. I don't blame you for not understanding anything that I say...That is okay. I will be gone before that happens to me again. I rather not put you in harms way when I can prevent it."
Reno raised his hands, half in a "hold up" motion and half to keep her from leaving. "Whoa there, this is exactly what I'm talkin' about. Harms way? What does that hafta do with the Lifestream an' slowly dyin' and... and whatever?" He gave her a hard look, pressing for answers.
Sam stopped and gave him silent eye contact. She wasn't sure how to make him understand. He is a Turk...he couldn't understand. It still amazed her she would say that he may get hurt and he still showed concern. "You really are a strange one...you care for an enemy even though I could try and kill you right now..You have no weapon on you so you're completely unarmed...Why do you care for an ex-rebel like me?"
"Look, lemme be perfectly clear," Reno began, "I don't care for enemies. I don't care for rebels. But ya saved my life, so 'til the end a' today or longer if it happens again, I owe ya one. Furthermore, if ya say somethin' like I'm in 'harms way,' doncha' think I'd care about that?"
"Not t' mention," he continued, "an' I'm sure this'll stir your anti-ShinRa ire, but you're a valuable resource. You've got experience with the Dark Seraphs, you were trained as a SOLDIER, an' you're damn strong. You're an investment worth protectin', yo."
Sam couldn't help a small smile at that. She was continually amused by him returning back to the ShinRa's mind. He clearly was into his work even though he did show laziness to it. Hearing that last part she lost the smile, "Experience... I saved you yes, but that luck will eventually run out. I am not sure exactly if I could withstand more guilt. I have to admit this to you, but you're one of the only few left that actually have seen me in the past and know who I am."
"Doesn't matter," Reno answered readily.
Sam grit her teeth when he said that. She took that as an offense and was clearly upset, "'Doesn't matter'?? Do you have ANY idea what I have gone through with these damn things!? I spent two years running from these damn dark seraphs that killed the one I loved. I watched him die and there was nothing I could do about it! He told me to run while he held them off knowing what was going to become of him! I ran away!...I was a coward.." She didn't hold back the tears as she did when the sprinklers went off.
Her glowing eyes seemed to have a glassy appearance to them.
Reno stared at her long and hard, the same look in his eye, as he listened and let her finish. Once she was done, he inhaled slowly through his nose.
"Doesn't matter," he repeated. "Look -- we all do things we regret. But we can't change the past. The only way we ever know if we can 'withstand more guilt,' as you say, is t' just get up off our asses an' try. An' if we've learned anythin' at all, then the next time around we shouldn't do anythin' that'll make us feel guilt. But sittin' around and cryin', feelin' bad for ourselves because we fucked up so long ago an' we can't do anythin' about it? That changes nothing."
There was a harsh, cold deadness to his eyes as he spoke -- the eyes of a true Turk, deadly and never scar-free from the job.
"You don't wanna be a coward? Then stop running."
Sam listened to him and wasn't sure what she should do for herself. Even if she did try and stop these Dark Seraphs, no matter what she did, it still wouldn't bring him back or anyone in fact. Apart of her wanted revenge for his death, but was that really what she wanted? Or should she fight to actually save everyone that she could? Her mind felt scattered all over the place.
She stared at him with soft eyes for some time before suddenly started moving towards him. She opened up her arms and leaned over to wrap her arms around him in a hug.
Sam's hug caught Reno off-guard and he froze for a moment. Bloodthirsty assassins don't often get cuddles. But it broke him of his icy exterior and, relieved he'd apparently gotten through to her, he briefly returned Sam's embrace.
"A'right now, buck up," he said after a few seconds. "People gonna need you -- gotta be strong now, 'kay?"
Sam buried her head into his neck and nodded a bit. She spoke into his neck, "Fine...I'll do what I can until I take my last breath." She promised. She wasn't sure how much she truly can do before that happens, but she was willing to try.
It did feel good to actually hug someone though. Even if that person is a Turk, oddly at that.
"Good. I'll hold ya t' that." Reno gently brought Sam back to hold her at arm's length. His eyes now adjusted to the dim light from the doorway, he could see she was so... so... disheveled. He couldn't help but smile crookedly at her puffy-eyed post-crying face.
Sam let him go and stared back at him. She nodded her head as a response not even making a motion to try and hide the tears from her eyes. It was much too late to hide them now. She didn't feel quite embarrassed as she thought she would be though. How broken was she? She felt so confused and her mind was going all over the place. She found it even crazy she would actually have a short thought in her mind that actually thought he was somewhat attractive. Why!?
"I'll, uh, letcha' clean yourself up," Reno suggested. "Want me to hit the lights for ya on my way out?"
Sam put a hand up to her eyes and wiped the already drying tears from her face, "I think I can turn the lights on myself if you don't mind. I'm not that totally worthless." She joked slightly.
"Thank you.."
Reno chuckled. "No problem." He turned and headed back to the common room to give her some privacy.
Sam watched him go before turning the lights on in the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and the first thought that came to mind was thank goodness the lights weren't on in the first place. She must have looked awful in the dark, but with the lights on it looked much worse. She let out a sigh and turned on the water to begin wiping off her face to get rid of all the traces of where the tears were.
Reno looked around, trying to occupy himself so it didn't look like he was listening to Sam wash her face. That would be... weird, to say the least. He sighed, and almost in unison, his stomach grumbled, surprising him. It was later than he thought, and now that he finally had a moment to himself he realized how hungry he was.
Not that he had any food in the place.
"Mind if I order a pizza?" he called to the bathroom.
Sam turned off the water and responds, "That is totally up to you. It’s your home." She wasn't sure why he would ask her if he could order pizza. She shrugged her shoulders and went to wipe her face with a towel before heading out. Then the phone rang.
Sam would be able to easily hear Reno groan from down the hall.
"Food's gonna hafta wait," he said with a tinge of regret. "It's work."
He put the phone to his ear. "Yeah, 'Laney?"
Elena replied, "Tseng gave me orders to tell you that we can no longer move around separately to do our assignments...we will all be on call for now. So be prepared to leave if you're called Reno, this is serious." She warned him knowing his laziness could sometimes irritate her.
"I'm guessin' you heard about the incident at the lab, then?" Reno asked, assuming that was why orders changed. He wasn't about to question strength in numbers -- he'd seen firsthand that Dark Seraphs meant business and could easily rip someone to pieces. Besides, an emphasis on team work meant he'd be spending more time with Rude.
Elena was silent for a moment before responding, "What? Something happened in the lab too?" Tseng never told her something happened in the lab.
Reno's eyebrows couldn't rise any higher. "You serious, yo?" he blurted out. "He didn't tell you? Then... why did you think orders changed now?"
Elena bit her bottom lip finding this situation getting even more serious, "The main warehouse was broken in. I went to scout it out and there was a murder case there. Tseng came and he happened to mention something about a Dark Seraph and someone..or something showed up, but we never actually saw it...we just heard it talking to itself."
That was most definitely not good. "Damn..." There was one thing that confused Reno, though. "But, why break into the main warehouse to kill someone? Or even stash a body?' he wondered aloud. "I mean, if ya want attention, there's a good chance no one's gonna find it. But if ya want to hide the crime, there's easier ways than breakin' one of our heavy locks.
That was most definitely not good. "Damn..." There was one thing that confused Reno, though.
"But, why break into the main warehouse to kill someone? Or even stash a body?' he wondered aloud. "I mean, if ya want attention, there's a good chance no one's gonna find it. But if ya want to hide the crime, there's easier ways than breakin' one of our heavy locks. I mean, break a ShinRa lock, and..."
He stopped as he realized it. "Break a ShinRa lock, an' ShinRa's gonna notice. 'Laney, this is big -- whoever left that body knew what they were doin'. They wanted someone t' notice, but not just anyone, they wanted us t' notice!"
Reno felt a sinking feeling in his gut. "Elena, we all need to meet and share info, ASAP. We just got sent a message."
Reno had no idea how right he was. Elena took a moment in thought. She was not told she couldn't share the info she had to another Turk. "I think we should...I haven't even seen these things and from what I have heard...It sounds a very ill intent."
Reno realized something else. " 'Laney, we gotta go off the grid for this. Somethin' tells me there's somethin' deeper here, an' I got a feelin' we've just got targets painted on our backs. Don't go anywhere alone if you can help it -- stay with Tseng if you just saw 'im. We gotta meet in the most... non-ShinRa place we can think of."
"Most importantly -- make sure you're not followed."
Elena nodded her head agreeing, "I think that is a sound plan..." She couldn't think of anywhere on the top of her head that would fit that location though.
"Tell Tseng. With all of us, we'll figure out somethin'." He'd better, he knew.
Elena responds, "Understood...I will call when I find something else out..." She wondered if Tseng had any ideas on this.
"Oh -- and 'Laney?"
"Yeah?"
"Find Shana, too. You guys used t' be, y'know, friends..." Awkward. "She was an important witness. Anythin' that happens from here on out could put her in danger."