(Untitled)

[shinou_heika]

((OOC: This post mangles time lines like crazy. So sorry! The beginning comes before Anissina and Gisela come back to the lab, then it continues through into the infirmary post and a bit after. If I've missed anything that needs to be covered or linked, please let me know.))

[He failed. Such a loss of control is unacceptable, but the truth is

Comments

[sekinin]

[Conrad looks up.

As a child, he had been raised on a steady diet of the wise and merciful Shinou, a compassionate father-figure who was beyond reproach . . . a firm but benevolent Lord whose steady hand shielded and guided his people. Conrad had never doubted that. When his father died, he had not doubted. When the prejudice got so bad that there was rioting in the streets and his own brother could not bear the sight of him without averting his eyes in disgust, he hadn't doubted. When his mother the Maou had sent him to Ruttenberg to die, he had not doubted. When Julia lay in cold repose and he could not even stand in the line of chief mourners because it would not have been appropriate, he had not doubted. When the Shinou had ordered him to take the soul of the woman he'd treasured more than any other and deliver it to another world of unknown people, he had not doubted. Even when--at the Shinou's behest--he had knelt at the feet of a king who should be all rights be his blood enemy, be had not doubted.

But now he isn't sure anymore. Now, he had doubts. And they eat at him and tear away at that child who would sit wide-eyed for hours on end as he was regaled with tales of the Original King's glory.

The silence stretches between the two men for a long, long moment, chilling the air around them.

After a moment Conrad speaks. His eyes are dark and flat, like polished stones, but his voice is quiet and calm. He does not look away.]

It was my fault.

He trusted me to protect him and I failed and he died. I should not have spoken to the Shinou thusly, nor blamed him for my own incompetence. It is not my place to question the Shinou Maou Heika and I regret my inexcusable display this morning. I am sworn to serve. If allowed, I will do so gratefully.

[The words taste like ash in his mouth and his stomach is heavy, but he says them anyway. He knows his place. And he knows his heart. He swore to serve and so he will serve. He doesn't really know how to do anything else.]

[shinou_heika]

[Necessity is not kind. He has had more years than he cares to count to learn this lesson, yet it does not soften the blow each time the realization is brought to his attention once again. He still feels the full weight of the fault, heavy on his shoulders, and yet he does not speak to decry Conrad's right to claim it. There is too much he is unable to see, strangely limited by being confined to this body. This is not something he can admit, he has set himself up in a position that does not compromise for any weakness. Any compassion he has must come with rough words, still tainted by his own hurt and guilt.]

It is not incompetence that was at the root of this. You cannot protect someone from himself. [Here his voice goes hard, and he turns to face Conrad again, eyes narrowed.] You are sworn to serve. Your service is sworn to the Shibuya Yuuri of this world before any other. It is in that service that you are being sent to Khrennikov, and if you fail there, you fail him. [He lets those words hang for a moment, before taking a step backward and putting a bit more distance between them.]

You have been given a depth of service that few others know. [His eyes flick briefly to Conrad's arm before returning with icy calm to the other man's eyes.] In spite of all that has occurred, I do not think a mistake was made in trusting you with that service.

Rise, Conrad Weller. There is work to be done, and now we are not free to tarry in a pointless search of where to place blame for something that cannot be changed. Events force us to move on whether we are ready or not, and there is little time.

[sekinin]

[The brunet's fists clench tightly, digging painfully into his palms.

How dare he question Conrad's loyalty to the Yuuri-heika. How DARE he slight a dead boy . . .

Conrad is well aware of his duties. He does not need a reminder from Anissina or Rad or Yozak or the Shinou or anyone else. Conrad knows who he is and exactly what rests on his shoulders and everyone's insistence or pushing and poking at and meddling with him is intolerable.

Perhaps someone should remind the Shinou of his duties and his responsibilities. Then they wouldn't be in their current predicament.

He stands at the monarch's behest and meets the man's eyes. His conversation with Murata looms large in this mind.]

["Do you hate him?"

". . . Yes, I do."

". . . . Sometimes I hate him, too."]

[It has been a long time since Conrad felt unwelcome in Blood Pledge Castle, but it's not a feeling that he has forgotten . . . Leaving this place will be a relief. If not for Yuuri and Yozak, he probably would not even return.

The soldier forces his hands to unclench and bows deeply.] Hai. If the Shinou Maou Heika will excuse me?

[shinou_heika]

Go, and finish preparing for what must be done.

[He does not so much as nod to acknowledge the bow, nor does he move as Conrad turns and walks away. There is nothing he can say to lighten the weight of the other man's duty, and if there were, he still would not say it.

Conrad is out of his sight quickly, but he spends a long moment staring at the spot where he could last see the other man. Then he allows himself the tiniest of sighs as violet eyes lose their focus. It doesn't take much for him to find Edwyn still in the infirmary.]

{Edwyn?} [The questioning tone of the thought annoys him, and he tries to wrest his mind to calm command before continuing.] {I should go to the Shrine and speak with Ulrike. I do not yet know how the events of this morning have affected her, and if the backlash reached there as well I will need to do what I can to help. Are things well in hand in the infirmary?}

[Then there is a hesitation, and though the next thought is a question it comes more like a demand on a faint tide of worry.] {You are not badly hurt?}

[the_great_sage]

At the call he turns his attention away from the reunion of his friend and Wolfram, eyes unfocusing slightly as he answers Alarik.

Ahh, good, I do hope she is alright, please send her my regards. Things are still a mess here. Shibuya and Wolfram are injured, and I pray it only temporary. The Maou's sight is gone and it seems Wolfram has lost his memory. A wave of guilt passes over their mental link. I feel like I have failed him as both friend and as Sage...we should never have attempted it...not if this is the price that must be paid.

He cuts off the stream of thought, watching sadly as Yuuri gropes blindly for her fiance. Wolfram reaches out to take the Maou's hand, the stunned look of confusion on the blonde's face indicating she does not recognise the other. He turns away from the heartbreaking scene to continue the mental conversation. No...I am fine now, just low on energy. His mind voice softens with concern and affection. How about you? Are you alright, beloved?

[shinou_heika]

{Shibuya Yuuri has lost his sight?} [This news comes almost like a blow, and the mention of their attempt to bring back the boy earlier that morning ties the two events together and hardens the knot of guilt in his chest further.] {Edwyn, this guilt is not yours. If I can heal what damage I have caused, I will do so. I must do so.}

[He hesitates where he stands, but then turns on his heel and starts for the Shrine as planned. Shibuya Yuuri's injury should not worsen if left to wait. If something has happened to Ulrike, he need to know. And he trusts the boy in Edwyn's capable hands.]

{I cannot let myself give in to any weakness now. I am well enough to do as I must.} [The mental voice softens a little then, gently affectionate even through the faint strain of stress. There's something in the tone that says he is not only speaking of physical pain.] {I am pleased to hear that you are not hurt, my love.}