Stupid Pain in the Ass
OOC: These are the internal thoughts of the character the same night immediately following the events of the IRT Mage game 5/28/2008.
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So here I am...again…maintaining a vigil over someone I care about; having been next to useless in preventing what happened.
God fucking damnit!
Harae, you damned idiot why didn’t you take 3 second to get the rest of us ritually cast with you instead of trying to clean out a few thousand rage spirits on your own. I know there were a lot of people there causing a mess but you knew Vit and I were there and we knew the score.
Two simple…fuck….one word “help” was all that was needed. I watched you pull one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen…and now your in a bloody coma.
How the fuck am I supposed to keep my oath to help you when you go some place I can’t follow.
*sigh*
Why does it always feel that no matter how much we learn, grow, and fight; it’s just never fucking enough?
One day I’ll have the strength and wisdom to stop this shit but for know I gotta hope that standing up and trying counts for something. Feels hollow as I think about it but what else is there? Only way to get stronger is to fight; even if I keep getting pushed to the side when the major shit hits the fan.
Fuck you Harae for reminding me of my sister.
And fucking thank you for reminding me of how important the gift she gave me was.
…..
Hurry up and wake up you miserable pain in the ass…I want my friend back…