Reunion with an old friend
It's 12:04am. I just got off the phone with Jayson. Remember him? Yea, we are great friends now. He's definitely made changes and done a lot of growing. So, Livejournal popped into my head and I decided to take a trip down memory lane. WOW. That's all I have to say. Looking back at my ideas, thoughts and feelings over the years really makes me think. Some of the things I said still hold true. Some have changed. I know I am definitely not that same girl but at the sametime, I haven't changed a bit. I'm still hopelessly falling for the wrong men. Still working at Outback. Still driving my Rabbit.
And i'm still in love with Nick.
Yes. I said it. Denial does nothing but set one back. Of course, we don't talk as much as usual. He had been in a relationship too up till a few weeks ago. I spoke to him on the phone last weekend for awhile. I know I shouldn't have but it felt so good. He's grown up so much. I can't help these feelings. For awhile, I had forgotten about him. I was fine. Yet, every once in awhile a sign, a picture, a word, a song would remind me of him. I even went through my phone and laptop and erased every picture I had of him. But it's no use. "Resistance is futile" they say. They are right. I am positive i'll never forget Nick. I'll probably always love him. Even if I marry "the love of my life", Nick will always have a home somewhere in my heart. Which makes me so glad that we DO live so far away. If we didn't, who KNOWS where we would be. How harder this would be. Who knows.
I read old posts of me saying how much I just wanted to be with him. How I had hope things would turn out great for us. Boy, if I knew then what I knew now...no...who am I kidding? Even though things are the way they are now, I wouldn't want to erase anything. Funny thing is though, it's been 5 years since we met. And you know what? That kid still makes me laugh like no other. He still makes me smile. I wonder if he really knows how I feel. I know i've somewhat told him how he's the only guy that can make me laugh the way he does. But I wonder if he REALLY gets it. How much I cherish him. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Moving right along. I stopped playing FFXI back in February of 2009 right after most of my LS in Bismarck got banned for cheating. Shortly after, I returned to the Truth after 5 long years. In April 24th of 2010 I made my dedication and was Baptized. My life has done a total 180.
My days are usually jam packed. I work, go to the gym, family study, personal study, preaching, meetings and hang out with my special group of friends with the little free time I have. Yes. We've formed a special group of six of us. Married couples of Danny & Vanessa Sanchez, Gabriel & Miriam Lopez and then Tammy. I call us "Sizzling Sexy Six" lol. I'm lame. Sue me. Of course, we don't go around acting like no one can hang with us. We do have our own separate lives and hang out with others. But it's like that saying "home is where the heart is". When we get together, it's like everything just falls into place. They are the brothers and sisters I never had and always wanted. Tammy is like a mom to me. Madame Butterfly is what we call her. I have an amazing life now. I couldn't ask for anything better. I am ok with being single. I am ok with my love life. It's all ok. I am too busy to even care these days. As long as I continue to surround myself with these wonderful and loving people....everything will be ok.
I will try to write in here when I can. I like being able to check back and see my thoughts. See how I've grown. Or not grown. ^_^ I have Circuit Assembly this weekend and I'm looking forward to it.
Until next time...
And i'm still in love with Nick.
Yes. I said it. Denial does nothing but set one back. Of course, we don't talk as much as usual. He had been in a relationship too up till a few weeks ago. I spoke to him on the phone last weekend for awhile. I know I shouldn't have but it felt so good. He's grown up so much. I can't help these feelings. For awhile, I had forgotten about him. I was fine. Yet, every once in awhile a sign, a picture, a word, a song would remind me of him. I even went through my phone and laptop and erased every picture I had of him. But it's no use. "Resistance is futile" they say. They are right. I am positive i'll never forget Nick. I'll probably always love him. Even if I marry "the love of my life", Nick will always have a home somewhere in my heart. Which makes me so glad that we DO live so far away. If we didn't, who KNOWS where we would be. How harder this would be. Who knows.
I read old posts of me saying how much I just wanted to be with him. How I had hope things would turn out great for us. Boy, if I knew then what I knew now...no...who am I kidding? Even though things are the way they are now, I wouldn't want to erase anything. Funny thing is though, it's been 5 years since we met. And you know what? That kid still makes me laugh like no other. He still makes me smile. I wonder if he really knows how I feel. I know i've somewhat told him how he's the only guy that can make me laugh the way he does. But I wonder if he REALLY gets it. How much I cherish him. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Moving right along. I stopped playing FFXI back in February of 2009 right after most of my LS in Bismarck got banned for cheating. Shortly after, I returned to the Truth after 5 long years. In April 24th of 2010 I made my dedication and was Baptized. My life has done a total 180.
My days are usually jam packed. I work, go to the gym, family study, personal study, preaching, meetings and hang out with my special group of friends with the little free time I have. Yes. We've formed a special group of six of us. Married couples of Danny & Vanessa Sanchez, Gabriel & Miriam Lopez and then Tammy. I call us "Sizzling Sexy Six" lol. I'm lame. Sue me. Of course, we don't go around acting like no one can hang with us. We do have our own separate lives and hang out with others. But it's like that saying "home is where the heart is". When we get together, it's like everything just falls into place. They are the brothers and sisters I never had and always wanted. Tammy is like a mom to me. Madame Butterfly is what we call her. I have an amazing life now. I couldn't ask for anything better. I am ok with being single. I am ok with my love life. It's all ok. I am too busy to even care these days. As long as I continue to surround myself with these wonderful and loving people....everything will be ok.
I will try to write in here when I can. I like being able to check back and see my thoughts. See how I've grown. Or not grown. ^_^ I have Circuit Assembly this weekend and I'm looking forward to it.
Until next time...