[Fanfic] Innocent Touches, DBSK, Jaeho
Innocent Touches
Part One
Title: Innocent touches
Length: one-shot, 6100 words (part 1/2)
Author: shinme
Rating: G - PG-13
Genre: romance and angst
Pairings: Jaeho
Summary: Yunho knows it can never be more than innocent touches,.But why does his bed suddenly feel so cold?.
A/N: Phew. My first Jaeho fic is finally finished. It took me a while.. >_>;; Anyway, hope you like it and please comment! :D
Innocent touches
Part One
~~~
You are sitting on the living room floor all five of you, chatting and bantering, having a good time at the end of the week. You try not to show how tired you are, even though the week has been exhausting. After all, you are spending time with your four best friends and tiredness can’t stop you from smiling. You don’t do much of the talking though, and neither does he; the dark-haired oldest, who are sitting across from you, looking distantly down at his hands. Now and then he raises his head and laughs hesitantly as he tries to catch up with what the others had been saying. You shake your head and smile at the three youngest who seem to have gone over to discussing girls instead of soccer teams.
“One of the staff members asked for my phone number today,” Junsu brags, laughing embarrassedly when the others just stare. “You know that pretty girl, the one that did my hair today.”
“You know, she asked me first but I said no.” Yoochun comments, snickering as he meets Changmin’s eyes.
“I guess she was getting desperate,” The youngest butts in.
“You’re lying~,” Junsu protest, hitting Yoochun’s arm playfully. “You’re just jealous that she couldn’t resist my charm.”
Changmin rolls his eyes and Yoochun laughs, while Junsu tries his best to ignore them both, picking up his cell phone to show them the proof.
With a small smile you glance over at the oldest, trying to read his expression, but it looks like he’s spacing out again. The next second he is up on his feet and leaves the room, giving you a small smile as he passes. You know you shouldn’t follow him, but after five restless minuets you sigh and do so anyway.
He’s in the living room, standing by the window, looking out at the stressful traffic outside. The light from the street lamps filters into the room, casting a golden glow upon his face, making him look strangely angelic. He has that distant look on his face again, his eyes glazed over and his brows furrowed. You can’t help but feel that something is bothering him. It’s like the whole room is filled with sadness, a heavy feeling that makes your stomach ache.
You clear your throat carefully and take a few steps further into the room. He turns his head at the sound and the moment he spots you standing beside him, the pensive look on his face vanish and is replaced with a genuine smile. The sadness you just witnessed is gone like it was never there, and all you can do is blink and stare at him confusedly. It scares you sometimes, the fact that you can have that effect on another person. The fact that you can have that effect on him. Just by entering a room, you can make him smile.
“Yunho-yah,” he says, still smiling. “I didn’t hear you coming.”
“I didn’t want to disturb,” you answer, not knowing what else to say. You wonder if you should ask him if something is wrong, but seeing his now happy expression you change your mind and goes back to biting at your lower lip. You know how he works, if he wants to talk to you, he will. If he wants to keep it to himself, he will. You sigh and he looks at you curiously.
“Of course you’re not disturbing,” he says, gripping your wrist and pulling you closer beside him so that you can both look out of the window. “Look at that,” he whispers, pointing at something outside.
You bend forward, trying to see what he’s talking about. You spot some girls sitting in sleeping bags in front of your building. One of them catches sight of you and points toward the window, screaming something. Your brows furrows and you take a step back.
“Those girls shouldn’t be out so late,” you mumble in concern. “They could catch a cold. Their parents must be worried.”
Jaejoong sighs and nods his head. “Yeah I know…but Yunho, that wasn’t really what I was talking about, look further down the street, at the couple!”
You do as he says and your eyes land on an old couple, walking hand in hand down the street. Their backs are crooked and their steps slow, but somehow they still move with confidence. You blink in wonderment.
“It’s quite amazing, isn’t it?” He mumbles beside you. “Being that old, and still in love.”
You glance at him and he chuckles embarrassedly, one hand coming up to cover his mouth. “Oh, that was silly, forget it. I’m going to bed now.”
The next second he’s out of the room and you glance out of the window again, noticing that the couple is gone.
♡♡♡♡♡
Being that old and still in love.
You stare up at the ceiling, sighing heavily for the fifth time that evening. His words echoes around in your head, making you feel dizzy.
Love.
Sometimes you ache for that feeling, having someone to love, someone to be close to. Someone to kiss at night before you go to sleep, someone to wake up beside in the mornings. You’ve dreamed about having a family; a wife and children, ever since you were a child yourself. Having someone to love. Being in love. Living a normal life, with normal relationships just like everyone else in your age.
You know however, that you said no to everything that is normal the same moment you signed the contract with SM entertainment and became a member of Dong Bang Shin Ki. You’ve never regretted your decision, but sometimes it hurts, seeing couples walking by hand in hand, beaming with something you don’t even know if you believe in. It often gives you a feeling of unfullfilledness, emptiness. Sometimes it makes you doubtful. You’re not so sure anymore that you’ve chosen the right way.
But you have your friends, your members. They always manage to make you feel like you have everything you need. You know they are the best substitute for a family that you could ever have. And you have him, the oldest member, with dark chocolate eyes big enough to drown you and the soft, caring smile which always have a contagious effect on you. He, who will slip his hand into yours, and squeeze it lightly to show his affection, who will furrow his brows and ask you in concern if something is wrong the days you feel like no one cares and you’re just a product used to make money on. He, who stays up late nights with you, watching dramas or just chatting about life, being the greatest friend you could ever ask for.
His affection soothes your longing heart, making it able for you to be the cheerful, talkative and responsible leader.
A quick caress, an affectionate smile, a lingering gaze.
Innocent touches, that’s all.
Innocent touches in order manage this life.
Love.
You hope you will find it one day. You hope you will find your childhood dream. And until then, you have your DBSK family.
With a happy sigh, you close your eyes, finally able to relax.
Being that old and still in love.
Isn’t that quite amazing?
Those words…You wonder what he wanted to say.
♡♡♡♡♡
In order to be a star and an idol your appearance is important. Looks does matter, you know that, even if it often worries you how much it matters. How much it matters to him. You know all about the lead singer’s mirror-obsession. You know how he can stand in front of the mirror for hours, staring at his reflection, trying to see something more than what everyone else sees. Sometimes he comes out from the bathroom with a smile on his face, sometimes he looks dejected. You never ask why.
You know how he always carries around a hand-mirror in his bag. How he just has to bring it with him to feel secure. Occasionally he picks it up, trying to adjust his hair or skin or anything else he can find flaws in. Flaws that no one else can see. Sometimes it makes you smile and you tease him, calling him “Mirror-Jae”. Other times you get frustrated and all you want to do is grab the mirror from him and throw it at the floor, seeing it break before your eyes. You want to yell at him to stop worry, to stop searching for non-existent flaws.
You never do though.
And he keeps on searching.
One evening when you are sitting by yourself at the kitchen table, looking through some old car magazines, you hear the bathroom door open and hesitant footsteps coming your way. You know it’s him already, since he’s the one who's been occupying the bathroom for the last hour or two.
“Yunho-yah~”, you look up at the sound of your name and your eyes land on his lean figure, standing at the entrance to the kitchen. You notice that he looks even paler than usual, but quickly tell yourself that it’s just your imagination. The way he looks at you, with his intense, pleading eyes is unnerving though and you shift uncomfortably in your chair.
“Yeah, what is it, Joongie?”
“Yunho-yah,” he mumbles again, before taking a deep breath. “Do you think I look like a cold person?”
The question surprises you and you look up from the magazine to study his face. He looks almost frightened, fiddling with his hands and licking at his lips nervously. He’s only wearing a pair of worn-out sweatpants and a thin white t-shirt. You can see the goose bumps appearing on his underarms.
“Yes you do,” you answer with a light tone, giving him a quick smile. “You should put on a warmer sweater.” It’s a lame joke, a lame attempt at lightening the mood. Even though you try to chuckle it just sounds weird and unnatural.
“Yunho, I’m being serious,” he says, sounding hurt and a little annoyed. You know he’s serious, and suddenly you’re angry with yourself for being such a coward and not answering his question. A coward for not telling him the things he needs to hear.
But what can you say, though? What can you say that would make him understand? Make him stop worry. You know how people often tell him that the first impression they get of him is that he seems to be a cold person. Cold and reserved. He always smiles upon hearing this and if they laugh, he will laugh too. You’ve noticed though, that when the laughter starts to die down, he always bows his head and allows the faint smile to disappear from his lips. You wonder why people never seem to understand that they hurt him. You wonder why you’re the one who understands it all and still you never do anything about it.
Acting on impulse you get up from you chair and walk over to him, suddenly filled with a strong resolution to make him feel better. He looks up at you, his dark eyes filled with confusion.
“Yunho, what are you-“
Before he has a chance to finish, you take a step forward and wrap you arms around his waist, bringing him close. You can feel him tensing up at first, but it doesn’t take long until his body relaxes against yours and he rests his chin on you shoulder. You close your eyes, feeling the warmth radiate from his body. It feels so good. Maybe too good. For a long moment the two of you just stand there, enjoying the comfort of having another body so close. After a while however, rational thoughts start to enter your brain again, and you know you have to say something. Something that will make him stop worry.
“You’re not cold, Jaejoong-ah,” you whisper quietly into his ear. “You’re… you’re the warmest person I know.” The words slips out before you have a chance to stop yourself. Before you have a chance to reconsider what words like that could mean, what words like that could make him believe. Hurriedly you loose your grip around his waist and take a step back, smiling awkwardly.
He looks at you, his eyes slightly glazed over, as if he was in some kind of daze. You swallow nervously and rub at your arm, trying to ignore the rapid heartbeats in your chest. You don’t know why you have the feeling you’ve done something wrong. You don’t know why it feels like you’ve made him believe something that isn’t true. Can’t be true.
Innocent touches, that’s all it is.
That’s all it can ever be.
Suddenly his dazed expression breaks into a smile. A bright genuine smile; the kind he only shows at rare occasions.
“Thank you, Yunho-yah,” he whispers and you can feel how something tightens in your stomach. You’re scared that you’ve misled him somehow.
“No problem,” you mumble and manage to muster up a smile. “I have to... see what the others are doing.” You give him a quick pat on the shoulder, before leaving the kitchen in a hurry. Biting your lip so hard that you can taste blood, you lock yourself up in the bathroom and stare at your own reflection in the mirror. Your gaze fixes on the confused, trembling man before you and you refuse to look away until you can see something else. Something more than what everyone else can see.
You shudder and blink, suddenly scared that you’re the one who’s been mislead.
♡♡♡♡♡
The first night he comes to your bed you immediately decline. Friends do not share beds you inform him, pretending not to notice the crestfallen look on his face. He doesn’t leave right away though, just sits quietly on the floor beside your bed, staring down at his hands. When you turn your head to tell him to go get some sleep, he stands up and stumbles over to his own bed again. You sigh and close you eyes, wanting the sight of the black, hurting eyes to leave your mind. You hate the gnawing guilt in your stomach, you hate that you always have to be the rational one.
An hour passes by and you’re still wide-awake. The tossing and turning coming from his bed is slowly driving you insane. You wonder if it’s your fault that he can’t sleep and once again the feeling of remorse overtakes you. Quickly, before you have the chance to change your mind, you rise from your bed and walk over to him. He’s facing the wall and doesn’t notice your presence until you bend down and touch his arm. The contact startles him and he immediately turns around, staring at you with wide, confused eyes.
“Yunho-ah,” he whispers hoarsely and you motion for him to be quiet. Reaching out your hand you take a grip around his wrist and tug him with you to your bed.
“It’s just for tonight,” you tell him quietly, making sure he understands. Just because you seem so sad. You don’t tell him this but that’s what you’re thinking. That’s your excuse.
He nods before lying down beside you in the small bed, making sure to be as quiet as possible. You pull the soft comforter over both of your bodies and give him your extra pillow. When you close your eyes to try to get some sleep you can feel him snuggle up against you, pressing your bodies together. You know that it’s wrong and you hate how good it feels, having him this close, having him against you. After a few seconds of bliss you start to shift uncomfortably, trying to widen the space between you. His arms sneak behind your back, keeping you in place.
“Jaejoong-ah,” you mumble quietly. “Not so close… it’s too hot.” When he neither responds nor moves you sigh deeply and add, this time your voice a little firmer. “I’m not comfortable.”
As soon as the words are uttered he immediately buries his face in your shoulder and you have to hold your breath to be able to hear the muffled words he whispers into your pyjama shirt. “It doesn’t always have to be about you, Yunho.”
Not knowing how to respond you just sigh and close your eyes. Feeling the comforting warmth radiating from his body, it doesn’t take long until you drift off to sleep.
♡♡♡♡♡
Surprisingly enough, and you’re not even sure why you find it surprising, he listens to your words and doesn’t come to your bed the next night. Or the next. You lie awake, listening to his even breathing, knowing that he’s fast asleep. Fast asleep in his own bed. You don’t know why you’re feeling disappointed; you’re the one who told him that he could stay in your bed for one night and for one night only. You don’t understand why your bed suddenly feels so cold, so cold that you have to get up in the middle of the night and fetch an extra blanket from the closet. Shivering under the blankets, you close your eyes and imagine soft hands around your waist, a hot breathe against you collarbone.
It’s not fair, you think, it’s not fair that you always have to be the responsible one.
♡♡♡♡♡
Link to Part Two
Part One
Title: Innocent touches
Length: one-shot, 6100 words (part 1/2)
Author: shinme
Rating: G - PG-13
Genre: romance and angst
Pairings: Jaeho
Summary: Yunho knows it can never be more than innocent touches,.But why does his bed suddenly feel so cold?.
A/N: Phew. My first Jaeho fic is finally finished. It took me a while.. >_>;; Anyway, hope you like it and please comment! :D
Innocent touches
Part One
~~~
You are sitting on the living room floor all five of you, chatting and bantering, having a good time at the end of the week. You try not to show how tired you are, even though the week has been exhausting. After all, you are spending time with your four best friends and tiredness can’t stop you from smiling. You don’t do much of the talking though, and neither does he; the dark-haired oldest, who are sitting across from you, looking distantly down at his hands. Now and then he raises his head and laughs hesitantly as he tries to catch up with what the others had been saying. You shake your head and smile at the three youngest who seem to have gone over to discussing girls instead of soccer teams.
“One of the staff members asked for my phone number today,” Junsu brags, laughing embarrassedly when the others just stare. “You know that pretty girl, the one that did my hair today.”
“You know, she asked me first but I said no.” Yoochun comments, snickering as he meets Changmin’s eyes.
“I guess she was getting desperate,” The youngest butts in.
“You’re lying~,” Junsu protest, hitting Yoochun’s arm playfully. “You’re just jealous that she couldn’t resist my charm.”
Changmin rolls his eyes and Yoochun laughs, while Junsu tries his best to ignore them both, picking up his cell phone to show them the proof.
With a small smile you glance over at the oldest, trying to read his expression, but it looks like he’s spacing out again. The next second he is up on his feet and leaves the room, giving you a small smile as he passes. You know you shouldn’t follow him, but after five restless minuets you sigh and do so anyway.
He’s in the living room, standing by the window, looking out at the stressful traffic outside. The light from the street lamps filters into the room, casting a golden glow upon his face, making him look strangely angelic. He has that distant look on his face again, his eyes glazed over and his brows furrowed. You can’t help but feel that something is bothering him. It’s like the whole room is filled with sadness, a heavy feeling that makes your stomach ache.
You clear your throat carefully and take a few steps further into the room. He turns his head at the sound and the moment he spots you standing beside him, the pensive look on his face vanish and is replaced with a genuine smile. The sadness you just witnessed is gone like it was never there, and all you can do is blink and stare at him confusedly. It scares you sometimes, the fact that you can have that effect on another person. The fact that you can have that effect on him. Just by entering a room, you can make him smile.
“Yunho-yah,” he says, still smiling. “I didn’t hear you coming.”
“I didn’t want to disturb,” you answer, not knowing what else to say. You wonder if you should ask him if something is wrong, but seeing his now happy expression you change your mind and goes back to biting at your lower lip. You know how he works, if he wants to talk to you, he will. If he wants to keep it to himself, he will. You sigh and he looks at you curiously.
“Of course you’re not disturbing,” he says, gripping your wrist and pulling you closer beside him so that you can both look out of the window. “Look at that,” he whispers, pointing at something outside.
You bend forward, trying to see what he’s talking about. You spot some girls sitting in sleeping bags in front of your building. One of them catches sight of you and points toward the window, screaming something. Your brows furrows and you take a step back.
“Those girls shouldn’t be out so late,” you mumble in concern. “They could catch a cold. Their parents must be worried.”
Jaejoong sighs and nods his head. “Yeah I know…but Yunho, that wasn’t really what I was talking about, look further down the street, at the couple!”
You do as he says and your eyes land on an old couple, walking hand in hand down the street. Their backs are crooked and their steps slow, but somehow they still move with confidence. You blink in wonderment.
“It’s quite amazing, isn’t it?” He mumbles beside you. “Being that old, and still in love.”
You glance at him and he chuckles embarrassedly, one hand coming up to cover his mouth. “Oh, that was silly, forget it. I’m going to bed now.”
The next second he’s out of the room and you glance out of the window again, noticing that the couple is gone.
♡♡♡♡♡
Being that old and still in love.
You stare up at the ceiling, sighing heavily for the fifth time that evening. His words echoes around in your head, making you feel dizzy.
Love.
Sometimes you ache for that feeling, having someone to love, someone to be close to. Someone to kiss at night before you go to sleep, someone to wake up beside in the mornings. You’ve dreamed about having a family; a wife and children, ever since you were a child yourself. Having someone to love. Being in love. Living a normal life, with normal relationships just like everyone else in your age.
You know however, that you said no to everything that is normal the same moment you signed the contract with SM entertainment and became a member of Dong Bang Shin Ki. You’ve never regretted your decision, but sometimes it hurts, seeing couples walking by hand in hand, beaming with something you don’t even know if you believe in. It often gives you a feeling of unfullfilledness, emptiness. Sometimes it makes you doubtful. You’re not so sure anymore that you’ve chosen the right way.
But you have your friends, your members. They always manage to make you feel like you have everything you need. You know they are the best substitute for a family that you could ever have. And you have him, the oldest member, with dark chocolate eyes big enough to drown you and the soft, caring smile which always have a contagious effect on you. He, who will slip his hand into yours, and squeeze it lightly to show his affection, who will furrow his brows and ask you in concern if something is wrong the days you feel like no one cares and you’re just a product used to make money on. He, who stays up late nights with you, watching dramas or just chatting about life, being the greatest friend you could ever ask for.
His affection soothes your longing heart, making it able for you to be the cheerful, talkative and responsible leader.
A quick caress, an affectionate smile, a lingering gaze.
Innocent touches, that’s all.
Innocent touches in order manage this life.
Love.
You hope you will find it one day. You hope you will find your childhood dream. And until then, you have your DBSK family.
With a happy sigh, you close your eyes, finally able to relax.
Being that old and still in love.
Isn’t that quite amazing?
Those words…You wonder what he wanted to say.
♡♡♡♡♡
In order to be a star and an idol your appearance is important. Looks does matter, you know that, even if it often worries you how much it matters. How much it matters to him. You know all about the lead singer’s mirror-obsession. You know how he can stand in front of the mirror for hours, staring at his reflection, trying to see something more than what everyone else sees. Sometimes he comes out from the bathroom with a smile on his face, sometimes he looks dejected. You never ask why.
You know how he always carries around a hand-mirror in his bag. How he just has to bring it with him to feel secure. Occasionally he picks it up, trying to adjust his hair or skin or anything else he can find flaws in. Flaws that no one else can see. Sometimes it makes you smile and you tease him, calling him “Mirror-Jae”. Other times you get frustrated and all you want to do is grab the mirror from him and throw it at the floor, seeing it break before your eyes. You want to yell at him to stop worry, to stop searching for non-existent flaws.
You never do though.
And he keeps on searching.
One evening when you are sitting by yourself at the kitchen table, looking through some old car magazines, you hear the bathroom door open and hesitant footsteps coming your way. You know it’s him already, since he’s the one who's been occupying the bathroom for the last hour or two.
“Yunho-yah~”, you look up at the sound of your name and your eyes land on his lean figure, standing at the entrance to the kitchen. You notice that he looks even paler than usual, but quickly tell yourself that it’s just your imagination. The way he looks at you, with his intense, pleading eyes is unnerving though and you shift uncomfortably in your chair.
“Yeah, what is it, Joongie?”
“Yunho-yah,” he mumbles again, before taking a deep breath. “Do you think I look like a cold person?”
The question surprises you and you look up from the magazine to study his face. He looks almost frightened, fiddling with his hands and licking at his lips nervously. He’s only wearing a pair of worn-out sweatpants and a thin white t-shirt. You can see the goose bumps appearing on his underarms.
“Yes you do,” you answer with a light tone, giving him a quick smile. “You should put on a warmer sweater.” It’s a lame joke, a lame attempt at lightening the mood. Even though you try to chuckle it just sounds weird and unnatural.
“Yunho, I’m being serious,” he says, sounding hurt and a little annoyed. You know he’s serious, and suddenly you’re angry with yourself for being such a coward and not answering his question. A coward for not telling him the things he needs to hear.
But what can you say, though? What can you say that would make him understand? Make him stop worry. You know how people often tell him that the first impression they get of him is that he seems to be a cold person. Cold and reserved. He always smiles upon hearing this and if they laugh, he will laugh too. You’ve noticed though, that when the laughter starts to die down, he always bows his head and allows the faint smile to disappear from his lips. You wonder why people never seem to understand that they hurt him. You wonder why you’re the one who understands it all and still you never do anything about it.
Acting on impulse you get up from you chair and walk over to him, suddenly filled with a strong resolution to make him feel better. He looks up at you, his dark eyes filled with confusion.
“Yunho, what are you-“
Before he has a chance to finish, you take a step forward and wrap you arms around his waist, bringing him close. You can feel him tensing up at first, but it doesn’t take long until his body relaxes against yours and he rests his chin on you shoulder. You close your eyes, feeling the warmth radiate from his body. It feels so good. Maybe too good. For a long moment the two of you just stand there, enjoying the comfort of having another body so close. After a while however, rational thoughts start to enter your brain again, and you know you have to say something. Something that will make him stop worry.
“You’re not cold, Jaejoong-ah,” you whisper quietly into his ear. “You’re… you’re the warmest person I know.” The words slips out before you have a chance to stop yourself. Before you have a chance to reconsider what words like that could mean, what words like that could make him believe. Hurriedly you loose your grip around his waist and take a step back, smiling awkwardly.
He looks at you, his eyes slightly glazed over, as if he was in some kind of daze. You swallow nervously and rub at your arm, trying to ignore the rapid heartbeats in your chest. You don’t know why you have the feeling you’ve done something wrong. You don’t know why it feels like you’ve made him believe something that isn’t true. Can’t be true.
Innocent touches, that’s all it is.
That’s all it can ever be.
Suddenly his dazed expression breaks into a smile. A bright genuine smile; the kind he only shows at rare occasions.
“Thank you, Yunho-yah,” he whispers and you can feel how something tightens in your stomach. You’re scared that you’ve misled him somehow.
“No problem,” you mumble and manage to muster up a smile. “I have to... see what the others are doing.” You give him a quick pat on the shoulder, before leaving the kitchen in a hurry. Biting your lip so hard that you can taste blood, you lock yourself up in the bathroom and stare at your own reflection in the mirror. Your gaze fixes on the confused, trembling man before you and you refuse to look away until you can see something else. Something more than what everyone else can see.
You shudder and blink, suddenly scared that you’re the one who’s been mislead.
♡♡♡♡♡
The first night he comes to your bed you immediately decline. Friends do not share beds you inform him, pretending not to notice the crestfallen look on his face. He doesn’t leave right away though, just sits quietly on the floor beside your bed, staring down at his hands. When you turn your head to tell him to go get some sleep, he stands up and stumbles over to his own bed again. You sigh and close you eyes, wanting the sight of the black, hurting eyes to leave your mind. You hate the gnawing guilt in your stomach, you hate that you always have to be the rational one.
An hour passes by and you’re still wide-awake. The tossing and turning coming from his bed is slowly driving you insane. You wonder if it’s your fault that he can’t sleep and once again the feeling of remorse overtakes you. Quickly, before you have the chance to change your mind, you rise from your bed and walk over to him. He’s facing the wall and doesn’t notice your presence until you bend down and touch his arm. The contact startles him and he immediately turns around, staring at you with wide, confused eyes.
“Yunho-ah,” he whispers hoarsely and you motion for him to be quiet. Reaching out your hand you take a grip around his wrist and tug him with you to your bed.
“It’s just for tonight,” you tell him quietly, making sure he understands. Just because you seem so sad. You don’t tell him this but that’s what you’re thinking. That’s your excuse.
He nods before lying down beside you in the small bed, making sure to be as quiet as possible. You pull the soft comforter over both of your bodies and give him your extra pillow. When you close your eyes to try to get some sleep you can feel him snuggle up against you, pressing your bodies together. You know that it’s wrong and you hate how good it feels, having him this close, having him against you. After a few seconds of bliss you start to shift uncomfortably, trying to widen the space between you. His arms sneak behind your back, keeping you in place.
“Jaejoong-ah,” you mumble quietly. “Not so close… it’s too hot.” When he neither responds nor moves you sigh deeply and add, this time your voice a little firmer. “I’m not comfortable.”
As soon as the words are uttered he immediately buries his face in your shoulder and you have to hold your breath to be able to hear the muffled words he whispers into your pyjama shirt. “It doesn’t always have to be about you, Yunho.”
Not knowing how to respond you just sigh and close your eyes. Feeling the comforting warmth radiating from his body, it doesn’t take long until you drift off to sleep.
♡♡♡♡♡
Surprisingly enough, and you’re not even sure why you find it surprising, he listens to your words and doesn’t come to your bed the next night. Or the next. You lie awake, listening to his even breathing, knowing that he’s fast asleep. Fast asleep in his own bed. You don’t know why you’re feeling disappointed; you’re the one who told him that he could stay in your bed for one night and for one night only. You don’t understand why your bed suddenly feels so cold, so cold that you have to get up in the middle of the night and fetch an extra blanket from the closet. Shivering under the blankets, you close your eyes and imagine soft hands around your waist, a hot breathe against you collarbone.
It’s not fair, you think, it’s not fair that you always have to be the responsible one.
♡♡♡♡♡
Link to Part Two