{ FIC } She Who Must Not Be Loved : Chapter 7
{ FIC } She Who Must Not Be Loved
Feat. TVXQ
Rating : NC-17 for violence, cursing, some sexuality
S E V E N
“It’s been a while, noona.”
SolMin looked up and saw the brown-haired boy who sang with the choir on weekdays and served in the mass on Sundays. He had a warm smile on his face all the time, as if every person he blesses with that smile is someone he’d known for a long, long time.
She was sitting silently on a church pew. He came from the sacristy, probably to finish some church activity. She smiled back at him as he walked up to her.
“Sit down, JunSu,” she said, moving a little on her seat to make way for the boy. He sat beside her.
“No flowers?” he asked.
“No. Not today…”
The beautiful flowers that SolMin brought to church every so often had tickled Kim JunSu’s curiosity. Oftentimes, he would catch her just laying flowers on the altar when the church was already empty, and she would just kneel on the marble floor and bow her head for a while. She always had lonely eyes, even when she smiled. He thought she brought those flowers for a loved one she wanted to remember, and the sadness in her eyes explained how much she missed the one she loved.
He got the courage to walk up to her one afternoon when he saw her cry. He took a clean washcloth from the sacristy and handed it to her to wipe her tears. Ever since he saw his own mother cry over his father’s infidelity, he had hated seeing women cry.
“We have a fund-raising concert here next week,” JunSu said. “I hope you can come watch.”
SolMin’s eyes lit up, “Really?”
“Yeah! I’m singing a solo, actually. But the group pieces are much more beautiful.”
“Alright… I’m coming to watch. When is it?” she asked.
“It’s on Friday next week.”
SolMin paused for a moment to think if she had anything scheduled on that day. Then, she faced JunSu and said, “Okay, I don’t think I have anything to do on that day. Can I bring someone along?”
“Sure, that would be great!”
“Good, I’ll see you then. I have to go now,” SolMin said.
“Oh wait!” JunSu said and reached for his backpack. “I have to give you something.”
“To me? Why?” SolMin asked as she watched as JunSu opened his backpack and dug inside. He produced a sealed brown envelope and handed it to her. She looked at the envelope and then him. “What is it?”
“You’ll see. Open it…”
She nodded and pulled the tape off the flap. JunSu watched with a smile.
“Oh my God…” SolMin said softly when she saw a portrait of her inside the envelope. She took it out and looked at it carefully, her fingers touching the pencil lines on the paper. “It’s beautiful, JunSu… did you make this?”
JunSu just nodded.
“Thank you… it’s beautiful.”
His fingers hit the keys expertly, never missing a beat. Every note was etched in his memory, and every line echoed in his ear. Every single line.
When he finished, he played from the very first note again, and he waited until the moment she was supposed to open her mouth to sing. But until then, the sound of the piano was alone.
“The first time I ever really held you…”
Her voice was clear and pure, like water, fluid and refreshing. He loved listening to her voice, and no matter how tired he would be, he played the piano to hear her sing. When she sang with the piano, he felt that she and him are one. Her voice made him feel like he was sleeping in her embrace, and that she will never let him go.
“Anticipation, anxiety, flickered in your eyes…”
He had lost all the courage he was born with when he lost his eyesight. Sure, he would make YooRi laugh and feel loved, but when the night comes and everything is still, he wondered how he’d ever live through each and every day without seeing the world like he used to. Silence had become his enemy.
She had come to his shop not for the flowers. She was living next door, and she heard the piano playing for quite some time. She told him that the piano reminded her of her mother, and asked if she could come over every now and then to listen to him play.
He was happy to oblige.
“Your kiss was a ring of warmth, on the polar cap of my heart…”
He kissed her in front of the piano one night. She just finished singing, and he felt so much fire in his heart that he could take it no longer. He reached for her face. She held his hands gently. When he leaned over for a kiss, she didn’t move away. She welcomed his lips like she welcomed him in her life.
“To your fingertips… you could feel it…”
He was ecstatic.
He finished playing the song for the second time, and he started from the first note again, not letting his tears bother him. It was the second night that she didn’t come, and the thought of her never coming back again frightened him so.
“Fuck!” JaeJoong cursed when he realized SolMin had turned off her mobile phone. He had been calling her since she left his apartment, but she would not answer his calls. SolMin had become more and more stubborn and jaded each and every day.
He sat down on his couch and picked up a bowl of food he prepared for himself. It only took him one spoonful to decide not to eat anymore. He thought his cooking tasted like shit, and because the last drop messed up, he didn’t have money to call for a delivery.
He remembered when SolMin used to cook for him. He always teased that she would make a lovely housewife, and she would always say, “But BooJae… you look so much prettier than I am!”
He hated it when she said that. And yet he loved her so much that he didn’t mind. He didn’t mind it when she called him a “loser” in High School because he hit on lots of girls older than he was. He didn’t mind it when she kicked his balls in College because she got insulted when he called her “baby.” He didn’t mind it when he waited for her for three hours in the cold on their 100th day together because she forgot the date.
As long as she was there, and as long as he knows that she is just somewhere within his reach, nothing could be unbearable. And even when she had admitted having a relationship with the silent one, Jung YunHo, he smiled and didn’t mind. He held on to something they’d agreed upon two years ago, on the night she broke up with him.
“I don’t understand, SolMin. We were okay, right? If I did something wrong, you’d just tell me…”
“I want to fly away, BooJae. Don’t clip my wings,” she whispered into his ear after they bunjee-jumped together on her birthday. It was his gift to her, because he knew how she loved the feeling of flying. The feeling of being free.
“I need to get away from here…”
“And from me?” he asked, swallowing the lump in his throat.
She looked at him with glistening tears in her eyes and smiled. He pulled her close and held her tightly, disbelieving that he was actually in that moment, and wanting to jump off the bunjee jump ledge - gearless - if only to escape the indescribable pain he was feeling in his chest.
“I’m sorry.”
JaeJoong breathed in the familiar scent of her hair and shook his head. “Don’t be. You don’t say sorry for making me a better man.”
He released her from the hug, and looked into her eyes. The rays of the setting sun cast a warm glow on her face, coloring the tears that have yet to fall. He smiled a painful smile, “When you’re ready to fly, tell me so. I’ll fly with you.”
“Really?” she asked with tears in her eyes. “Even when it means…”
“Throwing everything away?” JaeJoong asked, completing her question. “Yes, SolMin. I can throw everything away. If it meant flying away with you, I will.”
...
download AiLing's song here.
Feat. TVXQ
Rating : NC-17 for violence, cursing, some sexuality
S E V E N
“It’s been a while, noona.”
SolMin looked up and saw the brown-haired boy who sang with the choir on weekdays and served in the mass on Sundays. He had a warm smile on his face all the time, as if every person he blesses with that smile is someone he’d known for a long, long time.
She was sitting silently on a church pew. He came from the sacristy, probably to finish some church activity. She smiled back at him as he walked up to her.
“Sit down, JunSu,” she said, moving a little on her seat to make way for the boy. He sat beside her.
“No flowers?” he asked.
“No. Not today…”
The beautiful flowers that SolMin brought to church every so often had tickled Kim JunSu’s curiosity. Oftentimes, he would catch her just laying flowers on the altar when the church was already empty, and she would just kneel on the marble floor and bow her head for a while. She always had lonely eyes, even when she smiled. He thought she brought those flowers for a loved one she wanted to remember, and the sadness in her eyes explained how much she missed the one she loved.
He got the courage to walk up to her one afternoon when he saw her cry. He took a clean washcloth from the sacristy and handed it to her to wipe her tears. Ever since he saw his own mother cry over his father’s infidelity, he had hated seeing women cry.
“We have a fund-raising concert here next week,” JunSu said. “I hope you can come watch.”
SolMin’s eyes lit up, “Really?”
“Yeah! I’m singing a solo, actually. But the group pieces are much more beautiful.”
“Alright… I’m coming to watch. When is it?” she asked.
“It’s on Friday next week.”
SolMin paused for a moment to think if she had anything scheduled on that day. Then, she faced JunSu and said, “Okay, I don’t think I have anything to do on that day. Can I bring someone along?”
“Sure, that would be great!”
“Good, I’ll see you then. I have to go now,” SolMin said.
“Oh wait!” JunSu said and reached for his backpack. “I have to give you something.”
“To me? Why?” SolMin asked as she watched as JunSu opened his backpack and dug inside. He produced a sealed brown envelope and handed it to her. She looked at the envelope and then him. “What is it?”
“You’ll see. Open it…”
She nodded and pulled the tape off the flap. JunSu watched with a smile.
“Oh my God…” SolMin said softly when she saw a portrait of her inside the envelope. She took it out and looked at it carefully, her fingers touching the pencil lines on the paper. “It’s beautiful, JunSu… did you make this?”
JunSu just nodded.
“Thank you… it’s beautiful.”
His fingers hit the keys expertly, never missing a beat. Every note was etched in his memory, and every line echoed in his ear. Every single line.
When he finished, he played from the very first note again, and he waited until the moment she was supposed to open her mouth to sing. But until then, the sound of the piano was alone.
“The first time I ever really held you…”
Her voice was clear and pure, like water, fluid and refreshing. He loved listening to her voice, and no matter how tired he would be, he played the piano to hear her sing. When she sang with the piano, he felt that she and him are one. Her voice made him feel like he was sleeping in her embrace, and that she will never let him go.
“Anticipation, anxiety, flickered in your eyes…”
He had lost all the courage he was born with when he lost his eyesight. Sure, he would make YooRi laugh and feel loved, but when the night comes and everything is still, he wondered how he’d ever live through each and every day without seeing the world like he used to. Silence had become his enemy.
She had come to his shop not for the flowers. She was living next door, and she heard the piano playing for quite some time. She told him that the piano reminded her of her mother, and asked if she could come over every now and then to listen to him play.
He was happy to oblige.
“Your kiss was a ring of warmth, on the polar cap of my heart…”
He kissed her in front of the piano one night. She just finished singing, and he felt so much fire in his heart that he could take it no longer. He reached for her face. She held his hands gently. When he leaned over for a kiss, she didn’t move away. She welcomed his lips like she welcomed him in her life.
“To your fingertips… you could feel it…”
He was ecstatic.
He finished playing the song for the second time, and he started from the first note again, not letting his tears bother him. It was the second night that she didn’t come, and the thought of her never coming back again frightened him so.
“Fuck!” JaeJoong cursed when he realized SolMin had turned off her mobile phone. He had been calling her since she left his apartment, but she would not answer his calls. SolMin had become more and more stubborn and jaded each and every day.
He sat down on his couch and picked up a bowl of food he prepared for himself. It only took him one spoonful to decide not to eat anymore. He thought his cooking tasted like shit, and because the last drop messed up, he didn’t have money to call for a delivery.
He remembered when SolMin used to cook for him. He always teased that she would make a lovely housewife, and she would always say, “But BooJae… you look so much prettier than I am!”
He hated it when she said that. And yet he loved her so much that he didn’t mind. He didn’t mind it when she called him a “loser” in High School because he hit on lots of girls older than he was. He didn’t mind it when she kicked his balls in College because she got insulted when he called her “baby.” He didn’t mind it when he waited for her for three hours in the cold on their 100th day together because she forgot the date.
As long as she was there, and as long as he knows that she is just somewhere within his reach, nothing could be unbearable. And even when she had admitted having a relationship with the silent one, Jung YunHo, he smiled and didn’t mind. He held on to something they’d agreed upon two years ago, on the night she broke up with him.
“I don’t understand, SolMin. We were okay, right? If I did something wrong, you’d just tell me…”
“I want to fly away, BooJae. Don’t clip my wings,” she whispered into his ear after they bunjee-jumped together on her birthday. It was his gift to her, because he knew how she loved the feeling of flying. The feeling of being free.
“I need to get away from here…”
“And from me?” he asked, swallowing the lump in his throat.
She looked at him with glistening tears in her eyes and smiled. He pulled her close and held her tightly, disbelieving that he was actually in that moment, and wanting to jump off the bunjee jump ledge - gearless - if only to escape the indescribable pain he was feeling in his chest.
“I’m sorry.”
JaeJoong breathed in the familiar scent of her hair and shook his head. “Don’t be. You don’t say sorry for making me a better man.”
He released her from the hug, and looked into her eyes. The rays of the setting sun cast a warm glow on her face, coloring the tears that have yet to fall. He smiled a painful smile, “When you’re ready to fly, tell me so. I’ll fly with you.”
“Really?” she asked with tears in her eyes. “Even when it means…”
“Throwing everything away?” JaeJoong asked, completing her question. “Yes, SolMin. I can throw everything away. If it meant flying away with you, I will.”
...
download AiLing's song here.