Well then...
Has it really been a year since I last wrote anything here?
I suppose it has. Where did the time go?
Oh yes, I remember now. It went the way it always does, into the past.
The first thing I noticed, is that for the first year, in a long time, the 13th came and went, and I didn't even really notice. Blame it on finals, blame it on the kidlet, blame it on whatever you like, but I suppose that just means that time has created a hard enough scab that incidental brushes don't even twinge anymore. Well, maybe a little, they do.
Oh, and yes. I have a kidlet now. She's...a year old? exactly 365 days old, as of today. tomorrow is her official birthday, and I am...amazed at how much she has grown. This little ragamuffin that has completely taken over my life, and become the reason...well...the reason for everything, I suppose.
Isn't that cliche? Isn't that just...overly cliche'd? It is, but they aren't cliches because they're not truths.
I remember once, a conversation I had with Heather, where I posited a situation, where the house was on fire, and you only had time to save one person. Your wife or your child. And at that time, I was so confident of myself....so sure, that the one I would save would be my wife. The one who you had stood up in front of the world to say, "You. I choose you above all others...I choose you." Oh, the hubris of inexperience, right? Because, even though I never stood up in front of anyone to say it, I would choose Rebecca over pretty much anyone else. Well, that's a lie. The truth is, I would choose her well being, her health, her happiness over anyone else's. So, there you go, Heather. I admit it. I was wrong.
A year old. really? It does seem just like yesterday that she came home, this small bundle of cloth and squirming flesh. I could hold her in the crook of my arm, and not have any part of her stick out. Now, she walks, she talks, she pats my face, she...she's a person. A person. And that amazes me. It will amaze me until the day I close my eyes for the last time, that I helped make this person, who will have her own dreams, her own hopes, her own...life. And maybe, on some level, I understand that it's mostly biological, the feelings for her are driven by chemicals and neurons and hormones, but that's all...science. It happens, it works, and I am amazed. Because on my day to day functional level, I just know that when she cries, I get anxious. When she smiles, when she laughs, I laugh with her. When she wants something, I do my best to figure out what it is. In short, I'm a dad.
Me. A dad. hah.
But, more updates to come, more thoughts on my year...a Year in Review, if you will. Because, it has been...quite a year.
Aishiteru.
-me.
I suppose it has. Where did the time go?
Oh yes, I remember now. It went the way it always does, into the past.
The first thing I noticed, is that for the first year, in a long time, the 13th came and went, and I didn't even really notice. Blame it on finals, blame it on the kidlet, blame it on whatever you like, but I suppose that just means that time has created a hard enough scab that incidental brushes don't even twinge anymore. Well, maybe a little, they do.
Oh, and yes. I have a kidlet now. She's...a year old? exactly 365 days old, as of today. tomorrow is her official birthday, and I am...amazed at how much she has grown. This little ragamuffin that has completely taken over my life, and become the reason...well...the reason for everything, I suppose.
Isn't that cliche? Isn't that just...overly cliche'd? It is, but they aren't cliches because they're not truths.
I remember once, a conversation I had with Heather, where I posited a situation, where the house was on fire, and you only had time to save one person. Your wife or your child. And at that time, I was so confident of myself....so sure, that the one I would save would be my wife. The one who you had stood up in front of the world to say, "You. I choose you above all others...I choose you." Oh, the hubris of inexperience, right? Because, even though I never stood up in front of anyone to say it, I would choose Rebecca over pretty much anyone else. Well, that's a lie. The truth is, I would choose her well being, her health, her happiness over anyone else's. So, there you go, Heather. I admit it. I was wrong.
A year old. really? It does seem just like yesterday that she came home, this small bundle of cloth and squirming flesh. I could hold her in the crook of my arm, and not have any part of her stick out. Now, she walks, she talks, she pats my face, she...she's a person. A person. And that amazes me. It will amaze me until the day I close my eyes for the last time, that I helped make this person, who will have her own dreams, her own hopes, her own...life. And maybe, on some level, I understand that it's mostly biological, the feelings for her are driven by chemicals and neurons and hormones, but that's all...science. It happens, it works, and I am amazed. Because on my day to day functional level, I just know that when she cries, I get anxious. When she smiles, when she laughs, I laugh with her. When she wants something, I do my best to figure out what it is. In short, I'm a dad.
Me. A dad. hah.
But, more updates to come, more thoughts on my year...a Year in Review, if you will. Because, it has been...quite a year.
Aishiteru.
-me.