Fessing Up; A Long Overdue Thanks and Explaination ( But Not Necessarily in That Order )
I owe, once again, in what seems like an endless well of regrets, everyone of my friends a huge apology.
All along I've known, and all along I've just ignored that the reason why people might push me away is because of my lack of faith in who is or whom may not be my friend.
You can tell a friend you love them.
You can tell a friend you care.
You can tell a friend you'll never leave them.
You can tell a friend they're family.
But, when you tell a friend that you don't believe what they say to you, the compliments and the beliefs that they've so graciously given to you with the time they've spent and dedicated to you... you've failed them more than any other time. That's betrayal. I've betrayed the feelings of so many, especially Matt and Brandon. This is something I can't even forgive myself of.
Perhaps I'm being a bit too extreme, but, I'm tired of not having faith in my friends. It seems like doubt only clouds above my thoughts, waiting to rain down and dillute what I had pictured my friends to be, or where their hearts are set in our friendships and bonds. It's wrong of me to assume, and it's even worse for me to waver those feelings.
Long story short... my bad. I'm really sorry, and I don't know if anyone even feels this way but, I feel bad and I want to apologize for once more, sadly, being a douche.
---
In lighter news, Heather and I have officially started working on costume stuff. Started lifting weights, too. Hopefully, I can actually be fit by the time January or February rolls around. This will open the gates for more COSPlay involving Luffy, since he doesn't really button open his vest half the time.
Now, off to shower and to go out and eat sushi.
-.-* Need to update in this thing more. Bleh...
Oh, I'll write thank you stuff later so... ignore the title of this entry, or at least part of it.
All along I've known, and all along I've just ignored that the reason why people might push me away is because of my lack of faith in who is or whom may not be my friend.
You can tell a friend you love them.
You can tell a friend you care.
You can tell a friend you'll never leave them.
You can tell a friend they're family.
But, when you tell a friend that you don't believe what they say to you, the compliments and the beliefs that they've so graciously given to you with the time they've spent and dedicated to you... you've failed them more than any other time. That's betrayal. I've betrayed the feelings of so many, especially Matt and Brandon. This is something I can't even forgive myself of.
Perhaps I'm being a bit too extreme, but, I'm tired of not having faith in my friends. It seems like doubt only clouds above my thoughts, waiting to rain down and dillute what I had pictured my friends to be, or where their hearts are set in our friendships and bonds. It's wrong of me to assume, and it's even worse for me to waver those feelings.
Long story short... my bad. I'm really sorry, and I don't know if anyone even feels this way but, I feel bad and I want to apologize for once more, sadly, being a douche.
---
In lighter news, Heather and I have officially started working on costume stuff. Started lifting weights, too. Hopefully, I can actually be fit by the time January or February rolls around. This will open the gates for more COSPlay involving Luffy, since he doesn't really button open his vest half the time.
Now, off to shower and to go out and eat sushi.
-.-* Need to update in this thing more. Bleh...
Oh, I'll write thank you stuff later so... ignore the title of this entry, or at least part of it.