Writing a serious Journal Entry+Stoned and Drunk=Failure
Sorry I haven't written, its just been so hectic around here all the time. It never end. Tonight was horrible. Just plain horrible. As I sit here I can say that I haven't been this upset since Corey died. I was doing alright just getting through it, never really thought everything would get this bad all at once.
I'm sure you all would like to know whats going on.. its a list so be ready to read. I need to get this out in the open with everyone, or I will never(like usual) get it off my chest. I tend to let things dwell, and act like I'm the normal Kim, when really I feel like theres no one left. I know I have some good people in my life, but one by one they're all dead, or terminally ill. I don't know if I can handle much more. I have lost so many people I feel like they were so much better than me, or most people I know, so why them?
Everyone knows Cliffy he is the man. The smoker of joints and The true Beer King.. he was a true Hippy. You can't find many people like Cliffy in this world. He was definitely a crackhead in High School.. the kid you looked at and asked your friends, "Where will he be in 10 years?!" knowing that he was the gas attendent at the local Exxon. Clifton Frost.. you can find it in the local papers, was driving his MotorCycle and crashed over on Indigo Hill Rd. right near Cornmuffin's home. True to style he was drunk and emotional about all of the recent happenings. This all happened on Friday- the 22nd I believe. But there are two storys to this mobid story. One says he was drunk with his buddy and they were just dumb and crashed. The other says Louie cut his brakes because of drugs/money. . . thats F'd up. He was transported to the ghetto hospital in Dover. Stayed in Acoma for a few days before they unplugged him to let him go without any struggle. Everyone knows Cliffy was lovin' the morphine though.. I mean he had to of been F'd up! I will never forget him. He was like an unkle, but the unkle who your grandparents sent away b/c they hated him so much. Funeral services pending, cremation an option. I still can't believe this.. :'( .. "I'll see you on the other side"
Jeanne.. oh my god. All that happened to night was really hard. I'm lucky few people who read this know her, otherwise I would be dead writing this. Josh beat her tonight. He threw her across the deck, and we think her nose is broken. The cops came following me go 70 miles an hour. She called me screaming and crying. Wthen we got there her clothes were everywhere. In the feild, in the driveway, all over the house, on the deck, just plain everywhere. Her elbow was bleeding. There was weed and alcohol everywhere with Josh's gravity bong all over the place. Josh was drunk, Jeanne was drunk, I was F'd up, Corrin was F'd up, it was just a horrible situation. Josh was sobbing, Jeanne was sobbing, I started crying. Jeanne told me she was going to slit her throat if I didnt get there soon. I know she will do something, which is partly why I'm awake right now. Shes so sad, and shes covered in bruises. This shit just wont go away. I dont want to have to deal with death and watching my best friend in the world/sister through this. We've had too much, and Jeanne even more than me... I will honestly kill myself if Jeanne kills herself. Its like that for everyone I trust/love.. you all mean a lot to me. On the subject of Jeanne. I have court again for Paul. He got into contact with Jeanne and Terry and he might be going back to jail. He is the only person in this world I would kill out of revenge. I will tell the whole story later. Its too much right now. I dont want to wake them, its been a long few weeks.
I've been using this BitTorrent/BitLord(Its like Limewire or I Tunes or Napster) from the UK apparently. Ross introduced me to it. But I've been getting the best albums like ever from it. Its great. For those of you who don't listen to David Gray or Damien Rice or Jeff Buckley, I strongly suggest you check it out. I think their Live-Albums are fantastic, some better than the regular versions, most have a remix sound to them Live. It definitely livens up the music. - Thanks Rawslynn -
I've been thinking about Corey all the time. I really miss her. I need to go visit Scott and Michelle soon. Its been so long, I miss talking about her with them. They are so strong. I really do believe she is here every now and then sending signs, and I know you all think its dumb and fake so- no funnies.
I saw Amanda- Joey Corti's sister yesterday. She asked for pictures of him and I. I put them away after he died and can't find them. It sucks. I miss him too. I have come to terms with his death, it was almost 4 years ago.
Ok fellow crackheads, potheads, drunks, and old biker men trying to get some Cyber- Action... this is all for now, tune in tomorrow when I'm awake and sober.
For those of you who dont know our webshots page : http://community.webshots.com/user/kim_n_corn Its good stuff.
Nick SUCKS. That all I have to say about nick. "Say hello, and Wave goodbye. We tried to make it work... I dont belong to you, take a look. . . . . for the last time, I never knew you, you never knew me. Say hello and wave Goodbye."