(no subject)
ok. three shows since i last wrote
INTO THE MOAT, RADIATION 4 the taste of blood in ventura. first time for me to see a show at the american legion hall. richie told me about the show (he manages the taste of blood)and i decided to go. so matt goes with me, immediately after we meet. fantastic that he was so down for it :) greg was there. he had just gotten his lip tattooed. triple x's. i think all night he just wanted me to leave him alone. if not, that was the vibe i was getting. i haven't talked to him since, and it's frustrating cause i'm not sure why i was blocked out. i'd rather know, even if it's "you're fucking ugly and i don't like you." than be left with lingering silence from his end. ugh. makes me want to throw up. any time i actually like someone it.. whatever. i'm so tired of saying these words. anyway, it was kind of strange, cause richie was trying to get my attention, while matt was kinda flirty, but all i thought was greg.
WAKING ASHLAND, a weekend flight, forgive durden, and GREELEY ESTATES. cobalt show. i went last minute with zack. we never hang anymore so it was like a flash back. i spoke with jonathan before waking ashland went on and he's such a nice guy. even though he was feeling sick, his voice was basically flawless. "all hands on deck" is such an amazing song. plus they played some new stuff which i enjoyed. greeley estates went on last and i didn't even see it coming. but it was good stuff. i bought their cd and a poster, had all of them sign it. they're way nice guys.
last night THE FORMAT at the american legion in ventura. i love that band, their lyrics mean a lot to me. especially lately. i had plans beforehand of talking with their singer, to kind of get in his head. it seems we think alike, cause my writing dwells on similar themes. but he was way attractive and basically every girl there wanted to talk to him. i didn't want to be just another one of them. psh. i'd rather him be unattractive so that i could learn a lot from him and get into a deep conversation. i met matt there, he was way cute. hugging me tight, putting his arm around me, little kisses on the cheek. i really appreciate all of that but i'm doing my best to stay unattached.
um yah so jason has been trying to hang out with me. but something bugs me about him. so ugh i'm over it.
matt is lots of fun and we've hung out a bit. usually it's at the oddest hours. like 3 am til the sun comes up. haha. i guess he loves to party and go dancing. he has lots of friends and therefore little time for me so i don't expect much. i went to richie's beach house and we hung out for a few hours. it's funny cause i thought he was very different from me, but it turns out we think alike on a lot of things.
"i don't expect much from guys anymore."
i'm glad to say that finally i don't feel the need to have a boyfriend. although it would be nice to have someone there, i'm not feeling an ache for it. i'm not lying awake late at night with a sense of longing anymore. i'm fine doing my thing. it's a great feeling. besides, i have so much i'm focused on now. with school, work, piano, kickboxing, my family, micaela, travel plans, concerts, etc. i've learned it's best to be happy with what i've got. i get satisfaction out of the things in my life
it's my birthday on saturday. and i wish i had something exciting to say about it. or something to look forward to on that day, but the outlook is average. i am excited that i'm finally getting some eyeglasses. to see, because i need them, but they're also way cute. :)
ok. bedddddd timeeeee
tomorrow morning i've got to go kick butt. RAWR.
<3
INTO THE MOAT, RADIATION 4 the taste of blood in ventura. first time for me to see a show at the american legion hall. richie told me about the show (he manages the taste of blood)and i decided to go. so matt goes with me, immediately after we meet. fantastic that he was so down for it :) greg was there. he had just gotten his lip tattooed. triple x's. i think all night he just wanted me to leave him alone. if not, that was the vibe i was getting. i haven't talked to him since, and it's frustrating cause i'm not sure why i was blocked out. i'd rather know, even if it's "you're fucking ugly and i don't like you." than be left with lingering silence from his end. ugh. makes me want to throw up. any time i actually like someone it.. whatever. i'm so tired of saying these words. anyway, it was kind of strange, cause richie was trying to get my attention, while matt was kinda flirty, but all i thought was greg.
WAKING ASHLAND, a weekend flight, forgive durden, and GREELEY ESTATES. cobalt show. i went last minute with zack. we never hang anymore so it was like a flash back. i spoke with jonathan before waking ashland went on and he's such a nice guy. even though he was feeling sick, his voice was basically flawless. "all hands on deck" is such an amazing song. plus they played some new stuff which i enjoyed. greeley estates went on last and i didn't even see it coming. but it was good stuff. i bought their cd and a poster, had all of them sign it. they're way nice guys.
last night THE FORMAT at the american legion in ventura. i love that band, their lyrics mean a lot to me. especially lately. i had plans beforehand of talking with their singer, to kind of get in his head. it seems we think alike, cause my writing dwells on similar themes. but he was way attractive and basically every girl there wanted to talk to him. i didn't want to be just another one of them. psh. i'd rather him be unattractive so that i could learn a lot from him and get into a deep conversation. i met matt there, he was way cute. hugging me tight, putting his arm around me, little kisses on the cheek. i really appreciate all of that but i'm doing my best to stay unattached.
um yah so jason has been trying to hang out with me. but something bugs me about him. so ugh i'm over it.
matt is lots of fun and we've hung out a bit. usually it's at the oddest hours. like 3 am til the sun comes up. haha. i guess he loves to party and go dancing. he has lots of friends and therefore little time for me so i don't expect much. i went to richie's beach house and we hung out for a few hours. it's funny cause i thought he was very different from me, but it turns out we think alike on a lot of things.
"i don't expect much from guys anymore."
i'm glad to say that finally i don't feel the need to have a boyfriend. although it would be nice to have someone there, i'm not feeling an ache for it. i'm not lying awake late at night with a sense of longing anymore. i'm fine doing my thing. it's a great feeling. besides, i have so much i'm focused on now. with school, work, piano, kickboxing, my family, micaela, travel plans, concerts, etc. i've learned it's best to be happy with what i've got. i get satisfaction out of the things in my life
it's my birthday on saturday. and i wish i had something exciting to say about it. or something to look forward to on that day, but the outlook is average. i am excited that i'm finally getting some eyeglasses. to see, because i need them, but they're also way cute. :)
ok. bedddddd timeeeee
tomorrow morning i've got to go kick butt. RAWR.
<3