Love The Way You Lie
Kibum screams. He feels the tears, the mucus, and the desperation running down his face. He feels Jinki grab his hands, and it would have been comforting if not for the fact that Jinki too is screaming. They’re screaming at each other. Kibum feels like he’s suffocating. His breath hitches as he pulls away from Jinki, his fingernails scraping against the side of Jinki’s face. His fingertips feel wet, and he can’t bring himself to check whether it is blood or tears. Maybe both.
Where are you going? Jinki screams at his back.
I’m leaving you, Kibum cries, wiping desperately at his face.
But then Jinki pulls him back and before he knows it, they’re lips are crashing together, molding into one. Jinki’s tongue explores Kibum’s front teeth and for a split second, Kibum swears he can hear his dead heart starting to beat once more. He presses their chests together, desperate for the steady rhythm of Jinki’s heart, but all he feels is an erratic beating. They kiss until they run out of breath and it hurts, it burns, but it feels exhilarating. As their gasps slowly die down in the dark room, Kibum finally feels Jinki’s heartbeat slow down. They remain in that position, hands on each other’s back and chests brushing. They stand like that until Kibum can no longer distinguish his heartbeat from Jinki’s. He sighs, and brushes his thumb over the cut in Jinki’s cheek.
Jinki is fire; Kibum is ice. They hate each other, they hurt each other. Like an elaborate dance, each of them taking turns to break the other, until someone breaks eventually. When it does happen, it’s a disaster, a beautiful disaster. They fight, they scream, they cry. But in the end, neither has the strength to walk away. (They love each other too much.) Kibum sees the hatred burning in Jinki’s eyes and he marvels because it makes him feel like he’s flying, because he knows he means something, anything, to Jinki. He knows his own eyes mirror the hatred, but yet, buried within all the animosity, lay a love so deep, so pure.
And as Kibum cries into Jinki’s neck, the flames of insanity lick at their entwined bodies. They hear screams but it doesn’t matter anymore. Kibum feels Jinki smiling into his hair, and he smiles as well. Their grip on each other tightens, and then they fall.
just gonna stand there and watch me burn,