Obsession
Title: Obsession
Status: 1/1
Author: bopeep_achu
Pairing: onesided!Kevin/Taemin, broken!Taemin/Minho
Rating: pg 15
Genre: Romance, Tragic, Tragedy, Angst,
Summary: Taemin being an obsessed fanboy for Kevin Woo of Ukiss
WC: 1902
Obsession
I remembered before he debuted in a boy group called U-Kiss, he always went to that little abandoned dance studio, sandwiched in between to taller and mighty buildings. He would always pace his long skinny legs upstairs and stood in one corner while singing his voice out. It always cracked especially when he was hitting high notes and rhythm. I remembered he even cried once. While he was, I ignored him while rolling my hips and swayed my feet following the beat of music that banged into my eardrums played from my ipod. He never mind much with me and my loud music; just kept on singing his beautiful serenade. I never knew why he liked singing so much, what was his purpose coming here every single day singing his heart out. To whom? I don’t know. All I know was how I was drawn to his soothing voice. It was so calm. It was so endearing and alluring. And that was why I kept on coming to the neglected studio, wouldn’t want to miss a day without his voice. And at that time, I didn’t even know his name.
I remembered one short period of time where the stranger went missing. He never came anymore to the studio, leaving me alone in the room. Without his voice I felt coagulated. I felt like suffocating in that room. I couldn’t breathe without his voice diffused in the air, kept on crawling closer and closer whispering in my ears unnoticed to him. I lost hope and made assumptions.
Maybe he moved away.
Maybe he found another practicing studio where water won’t leak from the roof when it rained.
Maybe he finds I’m annoying.
I sighed.
But I remembered as I walked back home from school one rainy day, head exposed to the rain, I stopped in my tracks as those lovely voice penetrated my ears once more.
Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine
I'm leavin' my life in your hands
People say I'm crazy and that I am blind
Risking it all in a glance
It was one Backstreet’s Boy song that he always sang while he was practicing in the studio. It was one of the songs that I really liked from him. And as I stared at the tv screen from outside the electronic shop, I noticed he wasn’t standing alone. Not anymore. There were five more friends with him standing besides him, him being in the middle and the lead vocal. They introduced them as a new group that debuted; U-Kiss which I didn’t know what it meant. And I finally knew his name. Kevin Woo.
I remembered doing absurd things since then. Buying all of his albums and singles, even repackage ones were brought online. I couldn’t help it. I need to hear his voice. I kept on replaying songs sang by him over and over again not caring if my ears would bleed. His voice was my strength now. And I could keep on dancing hearing those soothing seraphic voice. But he never remembered me. Not ever. I only wished to be remembered but no. I was only a fanboy; like those other millions who were praying to touch him all over. But I’m not. I’m in love with his voice, his angelic voice, his soothing voice, his hypnotizing voice.
I remembered he sang a ballad, it was an English ballad. I didn’t know what he meant but the way he sang it was as if he was telling me a sad story. And I fell for him even more. Sad he couldn’t remember me. I remembered once while getting my album autographed, he was staring hard at me. My face felt warm and by then I knew my cheeks were flushing gradients of red. I’ll look silly in front of him and had my head down, not wanting to meet the other’s soft gaze on me. And I was pushed by the security without any words mentioned.
I remembered my friend told me I was an obsessed fan. Obsessed with U-kiss. But that wasn’t it. I was only obsessed by that person with such an angelic voice. It wasn’t obsession I would say, It’s love. But no one would believe what was I saying. They said I was lying. And I couldn’t care less of what other people might think.
“He’s Minho”
“Hey”
“…….”
I remembered I turned 18; 3 years had passed since U-kiss debuted and 3 years had passed since Kevin Woo became a shining star. My classmate dragged me to Jeju Island, said it was our last high school trip together for the summer. So I tagged along; forcefully though. I remembered sitting on the beach alone, my fingers involuntarily wrote Kevin’s name again and again and again not realizing it, only gasped when deep low mumble approached me from behind.
“Oh it’s you”
I remembered those long lanky legs sat beside me after had me startled by his low monotonous voice. It was the same guy a friend introduced. Said that he repeated two years of high school since he was too busy breaking the Olympic’s record or something and so he skipped school for a total of a year and a half. But that wasn’t the whole point. My palms rubbed the name crafted temporarily on the sand below, it was night time no one would notice but I felt insecure somehow. And then…
I remembered those lips brushed against mine, and he held mine captivated within his, hands behind my neck as he tilted his head in search for my lips. Of course I had my eyes widened 2 inches. But I couldn’t remember what made him kissed me like that. It was scary. I remembered shivering at those sensations. I was angry. My first kiss was supposed to be that person with such heavenly voice. I had saved it for Kevin Woo. I remembered hating this person Choi Minho.
I remembered that night I cried, hugging a friend tight. I knew it sounded stupid, but only if time could be reversed… My friend said I was stupid. It was unhealthy being too obsessed with a person who don’t know who you are. But Kevin knew me. Or at least I thought he did. Maybe he might remember me. We were always together once. Once a while ago; a boy stood in one corner singing his lungs out while the other stood in another corner dancing his heart out. But no one would’ve believed it. I was called crazy and unhealthy. And they told me to give up. They told me Minho was waiting. They told me to be normal and get a girlfriend or a boyfriend. They told me Minho likes me a lot. What about Kevin then?
I remembered 100 days after that moment crying while being cursed by Jonghyun, saying I was being obsessed and over reacting; I had made up my mind. So I gathered all of my U-Kiss’ stuff; albums, photobooks, Kevin autographed items, paper towels used by Kevin and kept them in a box, securing them tight from my holdings. I gave up. Minho was waiting.
I remembered when I turned 23, U-kiss disbanded; everyone went on their separate ways of solo careers. Said that they were kind of old already to be in a group, it was a fun period though. Eli was successful with his singles rapped with T-ara’s Jiyeon. Dongho and Kiseop went into acting business and cf productions. Kibum had his own small company with his brother Hyungjun. Alexander went back to his respective country, spreading the love of Kpop there and sang for the charity. Soohyun and Kevin both went as solo singers. Both were successful singers, both were loved. And while watching them on tv one day, watching Kevin performed again after so long, my heart raced for him once again. I remembered I was writing my marriage oath in our shared apartment, Minho went working. And I remembered my hands fumbling around my room searching for that box once again. I missed him so much. I missed him a lot.
I remembered one December when I was 23, Minho and I stood there in front of the priest who was busy preaching some boring speech. I remembered Minho stated an ‘I do’ while the priest was speaking an oath. I remembered how I was perspiring a lot, not ready for the commitment. My heart was too busy pounding so hard for someone else. And else I looked around, he wasn’t there. Kevin Woo wasn’t there. And I remembered running away from the church, leaving everyone gawking at the circumstances. I remembered leaving Minho alone again. I’m sorry. I never met him again. I ran away. I was a coward.
I remembered when another two years had passed, a shocking news stabbed my heart hard. While watching tv in a small apartment affordable for me to rent with my low-class job, I remembered the news reported that Kevin Woo was engaged to a certain celebrity. Kevin Woo was engaged to Jessica Jung. I remembered how numbed my feet were, how numbed my hands were. It sounded stupid, but I didn’t want them to tie their knots.
I remembered going to a wedding party not long ago. My friend Jonghyun said since I was still so in love with that person and he was working as a song writer for Jessica, so he asked me to tag along with him. I looked around, it was grand. It was luxurious. It was so full of happiness and blessings. I hated it. But I kept on smiling. I remembered bumping into someone and that same voice penetrated my ears as he chuckled low.
“I’m sorry I could-… Hey it’s you”
He smiled big, eyes forming that precious crescent shape. I couldn’t speak.
“You’re that guy back… Few years ago. The guy who danced so heartily. Remember?”
I couldn’t speak. My heard was thumping so loud I couldn’t hear what he was talking about.
“Umm… Anyway, what’s your name?”
He smiled again.
“Lee Taemin.”
And someone called him. He diffused into the crowd. He remembered my name. He remembered me. I was happy. I smiled.
I remembered sitting on a beach while went on a vacation with Jonghyun on Jeju Island again, said that he had an extra ticket and said that I need a life. I smirked at the thought. Who thought I’d be having a life. My life was devoted for him. And I crafted his name on the sandy beach below like how I used to back when I was 18. But the ocean washed it away. My love for him could not be eternity. It was never meant to be. I remembered my face was sullied by tears as I sat on the beach alone. And I remembered standing up, pacing slowly towards the sea water, slowly the water level rose up from my thighs up to my shoulders and my neck. It was foolish of me. I couldn’t keep on living. Not while my heart was still pounding for a man that clearly wasn’t mine to begin with. I smiled having the thought of him still remembering me.
“He know my name at last”
I remembered suffocating as I choked on salty water. And then I couldn’t remember anything anymore. An absurd story had ended. -----------------
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A/N: my friend said I'm too heavily obsessed and this came up.. IDK XDanyway HOMG I missed Jonghyun a lot..... I kept on replaying the songs he sang on radio shows. and DAMN I want leejoon in my bed like THIS! ooooh comments are loved. no silent readings D": the numbers kept on increasing but the feedbacks are so little >>" :))
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Status: 1/1
Author: bopeep_achu
Pairing: onesided!Kevin/Taemin, broken!Taemin/Minho
Rating: pg 15
Genre: Romance, Tragic, Tragedy, Angst,
Summary: Taemin being an obsessed fanboy for Kevin Woo of Ukiss
WC: 1902
Obsession
I remembered before he debuted in a boy group called U-Kiss, he always went to that little abandoned dance studio, sandwiched in between to taller and mighty buildings. He would always pace his long skinny legs upstairs and stood in one corner while singing his voice out. It always cracked especially when he was hitting high notes and rhythm. I remembered he even cried once. While he was, I ignored him while rolling my hips and swayed my feet following the beat of music that banged into my eardrums played from my ipod. He never mind much with me and my loud music; just kept on singing his beautiful serenade. I never knew why he liked singing so much, what was his purpose coming here every single day singing his heart out. To whom? I don’t know. All I know was how I was drawn to his soothing voice. It was so calm. It was so endearing and alluring. And that was why I kept on coming to the neglected studio, wouldn’t want to miss a day without his voice. And at that time, I didn’t even know his name.
I remembered one short period of time where the stranger went missing. He never came anymore to the studio, leaving me alone in the room. Without his voice I felt coagulated. I felt like suffocating in that room. I couldn’t breathe without his voice diffused in the air, kept on crawling closer and closer whispering in my ears unnoticed to him. I lost hope and made assumptions.
Maybe he moved away.
Maybe he found another practicing studio where water won’t leak from the roof when it rained.
Maybe he finds I’m annoying.
I sighed.
But I remembered as I walked back home from school one rainy day, head exposed to the rain, I stopped in my tracks as those lovely voice penetrated my ears once more.
Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine
I'm leavin' my life in your hands
People say I'm crazy and that I am blind
Risking it all in a glance
It was one Backstreet’s Boy song that he always sang while he was practicing in the studio. It was one of the songs that I really liked from him. And as I stared at the tv screen from outside the electronic shop, I noticed he wasn’t standing alone. Not anymore. There were five more friends with him standing besides him, him being in the middle and the lead vocal. They introduced them as a new group that debuted; U-Kiss which I didn’t know what it meant. And I finally knew his name. Kevin Woo.
I remembered doing absurd things since then. Buying all of his albums and singles, even repackage ones were brought online. I couldn’t help it. I need to hear his voice. I kept on replaying songs sang by him over and over again not caring if my ears would bleed. His voice was my strength now. And I could keep on dancing hearing those soothing seraphic voice. But he never remembered me. Not ever. I only wished to be remembered but no. I was only a fanboy; like those other millions who were praying to touch him all over. But I’m not. I’m in love with his voice, his angelic voice, his soothing voice, his hypnotizing voice.
I remembered he sang a ballad, it was an English ballad. I didn’t know what he meant but the way he sang it was as if he was telling me a sad story. And I fell for him even more. Sad he couldn’t remember me. I remembered once while getting my album autographed, he was staring hard at me. My face felt warm and by then I knew my cheeks were flushing gradients of red. I’ll look silly in front of him and had my head down, not wanting to meet the other’s soft gaze on me. And I was pushed by the security without any words mentioned.
I remembered my friend told me I was an obsessed fan. Obsessed with U-kiss. But that wasn’t it. I was only obsessed by that person with such an angelic voice. It wasn’t obsession I would say, It’s love. But no one would believe what was I saying. They said I was lying. And I couldn’t care less of what other people might think.
“He’s Minho”
“Hey”
“…….”
I remembered I turned 18; 3 years had passed since U-kiss debuted and 3 years had passed since Kevin Woo became a shining star. My classmate dragged me to Jeju Island, said it was our last high school trip together for the summer. So I tagged along; forcefully though. I remembered sitting on the beach alone, my fingers involuntarily wrote Kevin’s name again and again and again not realizing it, only gasped when deep low mumble approached me from behind.
“Oh it’s you”
I remembered those long lanky legs sat beside me after had me startled by his low monotonous voice. It was the same guy a friend introduced. Said that he repeated two years of high school since he was too busy breaking the Olympic’s record or something and so he skipped school for a total of a year and a half. But that wasn’t the whole point. My palms rubbed the name crafted temporarily on the sand below, it was night time no one would notice but I felt insecure somehow. And then…
I remembered those lips brushed against mine, and he held mine captivated within his, hands behind my neck as he tilted his head in search for my lips. Of course I had my eyes widened 2 inches. But I couldn’t remember what made him kissed me like that. It was scary. I remembered shivering at those sensations. I was angry. My first kiss was supposed to be that person with such heavenly voice. I had saved it for Kevin Woo. I remembered hating this person Choi Minho.
I remembered that night I cried, hugging a friend tight. I knew it sounded stupid, but only if time could be reversed… My friend said I was stupid. It was unhealthy being too obsessed with a person who don’t know who you are. But Kevin knew me. Or at least I thought he did. Maybe he might remember me. We were always together once. Once a while ago; a boy stood in one corner singing his lungs out while the other stood in another corner dancing his heart out. But no one would’ve believed it. I was called crazy and unhealthy. And they told me to give up. They told me Minho was waiting. They told me to be normal and get a girlfriend or a boyfriend. They told me Minho likes me a lot. What about Kevin then?
I remembered 100 days after that moment crying while being cursed by Jonghyun, saying I was being obsessed and over reacting; I had made up my mind. So I gathered all of my U-Kiss’ stuff; albums, photobooks, Kevin autographed items, paper towels used by Kevin and kept them in a box, securing them tight from my holdings. I gave up. Minho was waiting.
I remembered when I turned 23, U-kiss disbanded; everyone went on their separate ways of solo careers. Said that they were kind of old already to be in a group, it was a fun period though. Eli was successful with his singles rapped with T-ara’s Jiyeon. Dongho and Kiseop went into acting business and cf productions. Kibum had his own small company with his brother Hyungjun. Alexander went back to his respective country, spreading the love of Kpop there and sang for the charity. Soohyun and Kevin both went as solo singers. Both were successful singers, both were loved. And while watching them on tv one day, watching Kevin performed again after so long, my heart raced for him once again. I remembered I was writing my marriage oath in our shared apartment, Minho went working. And I remembered my hands fumbling around my room searching for that box once again. I missed him so much. I missed him a lot.
I remembered one December when I was 23, Minho and I stood there in front of the priest who was busy preaching some boring speech. I remembered Minho stated an ‘I do’ while the priest was speaking an oath. I remembered how I was perspiring a lot, not ready for the commitment. My heart was too busy pounding so hard for someone else. And else I looked around, he wasn’t there. Kevin Woo wasn’t there. And I remembered running away from the church, leaving everyone gawking at the circumstances. I remembered leaving Minho alone again. I’m sorry. I never met him again. I ran away. I was a coward.
I remembered when another two years had passed, a shocking news stabbed my heart hard. While watching tv in a small apartment affordable for me to rent with my low-class job, I remembered the news reported that Kevin Woo was engaged to a certain celebrity. Kevin Woo was engaged to Jessica Jung. I remembered how numbed my feet were, how numbed my hands were. It sounded stupid, but I didn’t want them to tie their knots.
I remembered going to a wedding party not long ago. My friend Jonghyun said since I was still so in love with that person and he was working as a song writer for Jessica, so he asked me to tag along with him. I looked around, it was grand. It was luxurious. It was so full of happiness and blessings. I hated it. But I kept on smiling. I remembered bumping into someone and that same voice penetrated my ears as he chuckled low.
“I’m sorry I could-… Hey it’s you”
He smiled big, eyes forming that precious crescent shape. I couldn’t speak.
“You’re that guy back… Few years ago. The guy who danced so heartily. Remember?”
I couldn’t speak. My heard was thumping so loud I couldn’t hear what he was talking about.
“Umm… Anyway, what’s your name?”
He smiled again.
“Lee Taemin.”
And someone called him. He diffused into the crowd. He remembered my name. He remembered me. I was happy. I smiled.
I remembered sitting on a beach while went on a vacation with Jonghyun on Jeju Island again, said that he had an extra ticket and said that I need a life. I smirked at the thought. Who thought I’d be having a life. My life was devoted for him. And I crafted his name on the sandy beach below like how I used to back when I was 18. But the ocean washed it away. My love for him could not be eternity. It was never meant to be. I remembered my face was sullied by tears as I sat on the beach alone. And I remembered standing up, pacing slowly towards the sea water, slowly the water level rose up from my thighs up to my shoulders and my neck. It was foolish of me. I couldn’t keep on living. Not while my heart was still pounding for a man that clearly wasn’t mine to begin with. I smiled having the thought of him still remembering me.
“He know my name at last”
I remembered suffocating as I choked on salty water. And then I couldn’t remember anything anymore. An absurd story had ended. -----------------
----------------------------------------------------------
A/N: my friend said I'm too heavily obsessed and this came up.. IDK XDanyway HOMG I missed Jonghyun a lot..... I kept on replaying the songs he sang on radio shows. and DAMN I want leejoon in my bed like THIS! ooooh comments are loved. no silent readings D": the numbers kept on increasing but the feedbacks are so little >>" :))
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