Forever . . .
Title: Forever
Author: bopeep_achu
Pairing: Jonghyun/Taemin, Jungshin/Taemin
Rating: PG 13
Genre: Romance, Angst
Summary: Lee Jinki, Lee Jungshin and Lee Taemin were brothers, and they just had to go through their own lives parentless.
WC: 2466
Forever
Jungshin p.o.v
The alarm rang once. Automatically my hands ran to its direction and clicked it off. I had my body sat up, it was 6.30 am. Still early as always I let my feet fell on the cold floor below as I made them find their way to the bathroom, washing myself. Warm water rained on me and I looked up. The water washed away the pain from yesterday. The pain looking at you faking your life into happy ones. And I wondered again today, would there be glint in your eyes as you smile today? I missed the sparkles and the sincerity formed on your full lips when you smiled. My feet dragged me to your room, slowly creeping it open with my left hand while my right one was drying my wet hair. You were still sleeping, lights turned on as always. You hated the dark.
“Hyung don’t turn off the lights”
“Why?”
“There might be ghosts”
Those were lies coming from your lips. It wasn’t ghosts that you were scared of. You’re afraid the images of him might come and haunt you when it’s dark. I remembered you telling me he would always come at night, creeping from your window and had himself laid next to you. There were no sensual or erotic activities as he came in. He just felt like wanting to hold you tight, kept you captive in his warm embrace. And you were fine with it. In fact, you were happy with it. He would be gone the next morning before you woke up. I knew because I would always wake up earlier than you.
“I needed to go early before the nurses find out I’m running away again”
He smiled at me and waved before finally dissolved in the midst of the dawn. I didn’t mind really. As long as you were happy with it too…
My long legs dragged me closer to you as I went in your room, having myself sat beside the sleeping you. You were sleeping silently, your chest rose up calmly and went back down in pace. Your heart beats rhythmically. There wasn’t any tense around you and I like seeing how you sleep. Your face was so calm and pure; eventhough there were still evidence of you crying yourself to sleep again. I wiped the dried tears sullying your cheeks and had my fingers ran through your messed hair, tending them softly. Mianhae, hyung can’t do anything for you.
-----------------------
“Hyung you didn’t wake me up!”
You grunted while making your way downstairs. Jinki hyung sat the opposite of me, spreading strawberry jam on your toast knowing how you liked your breakfast. You sat down besides him, sipping some gulps of milk down your throat. Jinki hyung placed the toast on a plate and handed them over to you. You bite it before briskly storming off to the front door, putting your converse on.
“Do you want me to send you?”
I would ask and you would nod, slowly chewing down the toast in your mouth. I grabbed my car keys and drove you to school. Like an ‘expert’ driver I am, I stepped on the accelerating pedal knowing how you like going to school fast since it was quite late already.
“Kommawo hyung” You smiled. It was faint and weak. The smile didn’t even reached up to your swollen eyes and I smiled back. Your voice wasn’t as cheerful as before too. And I blamed that person who took your heart away. I smiled back watching him disappeared before my eyes as he went inside the building.
It was like that every morning, how we pained each other with your fake happiness. And it was only morning, not yet noon to come.
------------------------------
I'm a loner, I'm a loner. daridiridara du~ I'm a loner, I'm a loner. daridiridara du~
I'm a loner, I'm a loner. I'm a loner hurt by love and waiting for love.
sad sad sad sad sad sad sad tonight, I want this to be a dream.
Oh no no no no no body knows, no body knows me.
one two three four five six seven night, I'm crying passing many nights awake.
Our vocalist sang. It was past 3 pm already and you should come here by now I guessed. And there you were sitting in a corner alone while watching me and the rest of my band performed. It’s a nice quiet café where we were performing. I only took part of this band to help Jinki hyung support our broken family, trying to mend it back by material ways. If only the world wasn’t so hungry for money. While trying to concentrate on the strings on my bass, I saw how you quietly sitting down in your place. As usual you would sit quietly there and waited for me to finish with my works so we would go home together. You didn’t listen to our music though. You were listening to the sound of your heart clacking and shattering in pieces. I just knew it somehow by that expression drawn on your flawless features. You were bullied again today weren’t you? There was a faint blue patch circling your left eye. You were punched. I bit my lower lips and looked back up front trying very hard on curving my lips up so it would form a smile instead of a worried frown. The crowd applauded and we bowed. I placed the bass leaned against the café counter and asked one of my bandmates to take care of it for a while. I asked for a glass of warm milk and the bartender gave me one. My long legs paced to where you sat and I sat I front of you. You looked up, smiling at me as I sat in front of you. I sighed, taking out a piece of cloth behind my pocket and wiped the dried blood formed at the corner of your lips.
“Mianhae hyung I fell”
You lied…
“You were bullied again today stop lying”
My hands tendering the bruises on your face. I asked the waiter for a first aid kit and he gave me a box of it. I took out a piece of cotton and poured some drops of iodine onto it before softly rubbed it on the bruise on your left eye.
“Tell me what did they say today”
You winced while I was helping healing you and you looked down as I asked. Your hands fidgeted around so were your eyes, trying to run away from the question. I didn’t say anything. Only waiting from some answers to come out from those plump lips of yours.
“They say that I’m jinx. That I’m a bad luck… Ever since our parents were gone I always bring bad luck to everyone that they just had to hit me”
Your voice was lowered and soft. They were shaky too. You were scared, you ere so fragile and you wanted to cry but you held them back. Why? Cause later you would say that’s okay hyung, I’m used to it. Which made me felt like punching you for being so soft towards others.
“That they said Jonghyun hyung gone because of me too….” Your voice went out cracked. “But I’m really okay hyung! I’m used to it” You smiled.
I smiled back, not saying anything before leaving you alone with that warm milk on the table. We finished another song before I drove you back home. As always you asked me to stop by the hospital where Jinki hyung worked and stormed off to the counter asking for Jinki hyung. I walked slowly from behind, trailing behind your back. I wondered how such a small fragile body could be so strong. You smiled happily when Jinki hyung came out, smiling cheerfully in his clean labcoat and another tall figure came from behind and it was Minho. I remembered being good friends with Minho. A former classmate of mine in highschool. It just weird seeing your own brother dating your classmate. It’s even weirder seeing the person who was your classmate was now a junior medical helper at this hospital and is dating a doctor, his trainer and a brother to his friend. I shrugged. I couldn’t careless. Minho greeted Taemin and smiled at me. We smiled back. Jinki hyung noticed the bruises and scar on your clean facial and frowned. He said he was going to report such actions to higher authorities but you shook your head, saying it’s your problem and you would never be a true man if you don’t learn how to solve things by yourself. He let out a heavy exhale and patted your head. Huh… You solve it on your own my ass. Nevermind. I knew you like the back of my hands as you were so easy to read like an open book. And I knew who bullied you as so that night, when I said I wanted to stroll of for a while at the park I met the bully that bullied you always and kept his throat captive within my hands while my legs reached up to his stomach, hitting his guts and made blood spurted out of his lips forming red stain on the cold road. I smirked before finally went back home. That ought to teach him.
Back to the hospital from before, Minho and Jinki hyung left us as they were called by some random nurse in white. She bowed at us and we bowed our heads back. You stood up and walked away from where you seated. I knew where were you going next as it was your everday routine to visit that place. We went outside the hospital building and you sat under a big willow tree, looking up at the bright orange sky. The cold wind messed your air and you smiled feeling your emotions building up in your throat.
“Do you remember? Those awkward first met?”
You whispered to yourself and I leaned myself against the tree watching how you smiled looking up at the sky. The memories of the two of you started to play within your head everytime you spent your time here. It’s the place where you met him and the place where he always brought you to. He said he loved this place. It’s calm and the other patient didn’t really know about this place. Because the building next to this beautiful small garden was actually a building to store corpse and dead bodies, so no one would bother visiting this place much. You didn’t care though. You just went here with him everyday when he was still living. Kim Jonghyun, I learned his name from you when you first spoken his name. you said he had this typical but pretty brown hues that sucked your soul and you fell in love as you bumped into him in a hospital dress. His hair was blond to light brown and the nurses chased him from dyeing his hair to such colors.
“I would die anyway why would you care?”
He said as the nurses caught him. You frowned as he spoke those words. And day by day as you spent your days together, you fell in love with him and soon to visit the hospital more often and more eager. I only smiled watching your love story bloomed. He was Jinki hyung’s personal patient, which Jinki hyung stated that was diagnosed with cancer since at the age of 8. He had been living in the hospital for few years and before this our dad was his personal doctor. Our parents soon died, and another doctor took care of him until Jinki hyung graduated as a doctor last year and took charge of the patient. That was when you met him and started to fall head over heels for him. You knew his endings, how he could no longer be saved. How he was waiting for his moment to end. How he was coughing blood everyday, yet you stayed strong and waited for him by his side and kept him company. You brought a bottle of antiseptic everyday in your back pocket so you could wash your mouth with it before having your lips glued on his. And soon his conditions were unbearable. You cried everyday, every hour, every second and every minute, watching how his head was shining bald. Watching how he hitched heavily just to fill his lungs with air. Watching how he suffered on the white bed, weakly holding onto you. And like fate, he was gone one day, taking your heart along with him to some other world he might be living happily now. I wished I could punch that silly smile of his. Leaving my brother behind and only making him sad.
“It’s okay hyung, it’s my fault to have fallen to a person diagnosed with fatal diseases”
I sighed in frustration again seeing you blaming yourself for your shattering heart. I drove you back home and rejecting dinner again; you went back up to your room. I cleaned the dishes after had myself dined in a lone like always. My feet brought me upstairs and I leaned against your door listening to your sobs behind that piece of wooden door. I sat myself there, waiting for your sobs to quiet down.
Even if a very long time passes
Even if you and I become a bit different
I want to dream forever with you like this
The one who fulfilled my wishes, the one who became my faith, with you
Even if a very long time passes
Even if you and I become a bit different
I want to dream forever with you like this
The one who became my miracle, the one who dreamed with me, with you
Even a long time passes, I want to dream forever with you
You sang through your sobs. It’s a song that person thought you and you memorized it well by singing to it everyday everynight while mending your broken pieces of heart. It hurt a lot seeing you pained and broken like this. But you had to stay strong as you promised him before you would live your life fully for him. Using your strong heart to run and dance for him, singing at your heart’s full content only for him as you had promised him before he wet away. And the sobs stopped. You fell asleep. I stood up and went back to my room. After finishing my homeworks, I closed the table lamp and laid on my bed. Again the same thoughts filled my fuzzy head.
“Will you be happy tomorrow?”
And the cycle kept on continuing. I wondered how long it will last…
____________________________________
A/N: YEAH XD my first shinee/cnblue fic XDD... kind of a fail ;__________; oh well.. I'm so tired and it's late already XDD I needa sleep.. i finally finished >:D hah in yo face mor! but I might have side story for minho and onew... or Jonghyun and taemin as in when Jonghyun was still alive maybe... I donno.. do you want it? XDD anyway enjoy! comments are <3'd and thanked
Author: bopeep_achu
Pairing: Jonghyun/Taemin, Jungshin/Taemin
Rating: PG 13
Genre: Romance, Angst
Summary: Lee Jinki, Lee Jungshin and Lee Taemin were brothers, and they just had to go through their own lives parentless.
WC: 2466
Forever
Jungshin p.o.v
The alarm rang once. Automatically my hands ran to its direction and clicked it off. I had my body sat up, it was 6.30 am. Still early as always I let my feet fell on the cold floor below as I made them find their way to the bathroom, washing myself. Warm water rained on me and I looked up. The water washed away the pain from yesterday. The pain looking at you faking your life into happy ones. And I wondered again today, would there be glint in your eyes as you smile today? I missed the sparkles and the sincerity formed on your full lips when you smiled. My feet dragged me to your room, slowly creeping it open with my left hand while my right one was drying my wet hair. You were still sleeping, lights turned on as always. You hated the dark.
“Hyung don’t turn off the lights”
“Why?”
“There might be ghosts”
Those were lies coming from your lips. It wasn’t ghosts that you were scared of. You’re afraid the images of him might come and haunt you when it’s dark. I remembered you telling me he would always come at night, creeping from your window and had himself laid next to you. There were no sensual or erotic activities as he came in. He just felt like wanting to hold you tight, kept you captive in his warm embrace. And you were fine with it. In fact, you were happy with it. He would be gone the next morning before you woke up. I knew because I would always wake up earlier than you.
“I needed to go early before the nurses find out I’m running away again”
He smiled at me and waved before finally dissolved in the midst of the dawn. I didn’t mind really. As long as you were happy with it too…
My long legs dragged me closer to you as I went in your room, having myself sat beside the sleeping you. You were sleeping silently, your chest rose up calmly and went back down in pace. Your heart beats rhythmically. There wasn’t any tense around you and I like seeing how you sleep. Your face was so calm and pure; eventhough there were still evidence of you crying yourself to sleep again. I wiped the dried tears sullying your cheeks and had my fingers ran through your messed hair, tending them softly. Mianhae, hyung can’t do anything for you.
-----------------------
“Hyung you didn’t wake me up!”
You grunted while making your way downstairs. Jinki hyung sat the opposite of me, spreading strawberry jam on your toast knowing how you liked your breakfast. You sat down besides him, sipping some gulps of milk down your throat. Jinki hyung placed the toast on a plate and handed them over to you. You bite it before briskly storming off to the front door, putting your converse on.
“Do you want me to send you?”
I would ask and you would nod, slowly chewing down the toast in your mouth. I grabbed my car keys and drove you to school. Like an ‘expert’ driver I am, I stepped on the accelerating pedal knowing how you like going to school fast since it was quite late already.
“Kommawo hyung” You smiled. It was faint and weak. The smile didn’t even reached up to your swollen eyes and I smiled back. Your voice wasn’t as cheerful as before too. And I blamed that person who took your heart away. I smiled back watching him disappeared before my eyes as he went inside the building.
It was like that every morning, how we pained each other with your fake happiness. And it was only morning, not yet noon to come.
------------------------------
I'm a loner, I'm a loner. daridiridara du~ I'm a loner, I'm a loner. daridiridara du~
I'm a loner, I'm a loner. I'm a loner hurt by love and waiting for love.
sad sad sad sad sad sad sad tonight, I want this to be a dream.
Oh no no no no no body knows, no body knows me.
one two three four five six seven night, I'm crying passing many nights awake.
Our vocalist sang. It was past 3 pm already and you should come here by now I guessed. And there you were sitting in a corner alone while watching me and the rest of my band performed. It’s a nice quiet café where we were performing. I only took part of this band to help Jinki hyung support our broken family, trying to mend it back by material ways. If only the world wasn’t so hungry for money. While trying to concentrate on the strings on my bass, I saw how you quietly sitting down in your place. As usual you would sit quietly there and waited for me to finish with my works so we would go home together. You didn’t listen to our music though. You were listening to the sound of your heart clacking and shattering in pieces. I just knew it somehow by that expression drawn on your flawless features. You were bullied again today weren’t you? There was a faint blue patch circling your left eye. You were punched. I bit my lower lips and looked back up front trying very hard on curving my lips up so it would form a smile instead of a worried frown. The crowd applauded and we bowed. I placed the bass leaned against the café counter and asked one of my bandmates to take care of it for a while. I asked for a glass of warm milk and the bartender gave me one. My long legs paced to where you sat and I sat I front of you. You looked up, smiling at me as I sat in front of you. I sighed, taking out a piece of cloth behind my pocket and wiped the dried blood formed at the corner of your lips.
“Mianhae hyung I fell”
You lied…
“You were bullied again today stop lying”
My hands tendering the bruises on your face. I asked the waiter for a first aid kit and he gave me a box of it. I took out a piece of cotton and poured some drops of iodine onto it before softly rubbed it on the bruise on your left eye.
“Tell me what did they say today”
You winced while I was helping healing you and you looked down as I asked. Your hands fidgeted around so were your eyes, trying to run away from the question. I didn’t say anything. Only waiting from some answers to come out from those plump lips of yours.
“They say that I’m jinx. That I’m a bad luck… Ever since our parents were gone I always bring bad luck to everyone that they just had to hit me”
Your voice was lowered and soft. They were shaky too. You were scared, you ere so fragile and you wanted to cry but you held them back. Why? Cause later you would say that’s okay hyung, I’m used to it. Which made me felt like punching you for being so soft towards others.
“That they said Jonghyun hyung gone because of me too….” Your voice went out cracked. “But I’m really okay hyung! I’m used to it” You smiled.
I smiled back, not saying anything before leaving you alone with that warm milk on the table. We finished another song before I drove you back home. As always you asked me to stop by the hospital where Jinki hyung worked and stormed off to the counter asking for Jinki hyung. I walked slowly from behind, trailing behind your back. I wondered how such a small fragile body could be so strong. You smiled happily when Jinki hyung came out, smiling cheerfully in his clean labcoat and another tall figure came from behind and it was Minho. I remembered being good friends with Minho. A former classmate of mine in highschool. It just weird seeing your own brother dating your classmate. It’s even weirder seeing the person who was your classmate was now a junior medical helper at this hospital and is dating a doctor, his trainer and a brother to his friend. I shrugged. I couldn’t careless. Minho greeted Taemin and smiled at me. We smiled back. Jinki hyung noticed the bruises and scar on your clean facial and frowned. He said he was going to report such actions to higher authorities but you shook your head, saying it’s your problem and you would never be a true man if you don’t learn how to solve things by yourself. He let out a heavy exhale and patted your head. Huh… You solve it on your own my ass. Nevermind. I knew you like the back of my hands as you were so easy to read like an open book. And I knew who bullied you as so that night, when I said I wanted to stroll of for a while at the park I met the bully that bullied you always and kept his throat captive within my hands while my legs reached up to his stomach, hitting his guts and made blood spurted out of his lips forming red stain on the cold road. I smirked before finally went back home. That ought to teach him.
Back to the hospital from before, Minho and Jinki hyung left us as they were called by some random nurse in white. She bowed at us and we bowed our heads back. You stood up and walked away from where you seated. I knew where were you going next as it was your everday routine to visit that place. We went outside the hospital building and you sat under a big willow tree, looking up at the bright orange sky. The cold wind messed your air and you smiled feeling your emotions building up in your throat.
“Do you remember? Those awkward first met?”
You whispered to yourself and I leaned myself against the tree watching how you smiled looking up at the sky. The memories of the two of you started to play within your head everytime you spent your time here. It’s the place where you met him and the place where he always brought you to. He said he loved this place. It’s calm and the other patient didn’t really know about this place. Because the building next to this beautiful small garden was actually a building to store corpse and dead bodies, so no one would bother visiting this place much. You didn’t care though. You just went here with him everyday when he was still living. Kim Jonghyun, I learned his name from you when you first spoken his name. you said he had this typical but pretty brown hues that sucked your soul and you fell in love as you bumped into him in a hospital dress. His hair was blond to light brown and the nurses chased him from dyeing his hair to such colors.
“I would die anyway why would you care?”
He said as the nurses caught him. You frowned as he spoke those words. And day by day as you spent your days together, you fell in love with him and soon to visit the hospital more often and more eager. I only smiled watching your love story bloomed. He was Jinki hyung’s personal patient, which Jinki hyung stated that was diagnosed with cancer since at the age of 8. He had been living in the hospital for few years and before this our dad was his personal doctor. Our parents soon died, and another doctor took care of him until Jinki hyung graduated as a doctor last year and took charge of the patient. That was when you met him and started to fall head over heels for him. You knew his endings, how he could no longer be saved. How he was waiting for his moment to end. How he was coughing blood everyday, yet you stayed strong and waited for him by his side and kept him company. You brought a bottle of antiseptic everyday in your back pocket so you could wash your mouth with it before having your lips glued on his. And soon his conditions were unbearable. You cried everyday, every hour, every second and every minute, watching how his head was shining bald. Watching how he hitched heavily just to fill his lungs with air. Watching how he suffered on the white bed, weakly holding onto you. And like fate, he was gone one day, taking your heart along with him to some other world he might be living happily now. I wished I could punch that silly smile of his. Leaving my brother behind and only making him sad.
“It’s okay hyung, it’s my fault to have fallen to a person diagnosed with fatal diseases”
I sighed in frustration again seeing you blaming yourself for your shattering heart. I drove you back home and rejecting dinner again; you went back up to your room. I cleaned the dishes after had myself dined in a lone like always. My feet brought me upstairs and I leaned against your door listening to your sobs behind that piece of wooden door. I sat myself there, waiting for your sobs to quiet down.
Even if a very long time passes
Even if you and I become a bit different
I want to dream forever with you like this
The one who fulfilled my wishes, the one who became my faith, with you
Even if a very long time passes
Even if you and I become a bit different
I want to dream forever with you like this
The one who became my miracle, the one who dreamed with me, with you
Even a long time passes, I want to dream forever with you
You sang through your sobs. It’s a song that person thought you and you memorized it well by singing to it everyday everynight while mending your broken pieces of heart. It hurt a lot seeing you pained and broken like this. But you had to stay strong as you promised him before you would live your life fully for him. Using your strong heart to run and dance for him, singing at your heart’s full content only for him as you had promised him before he wet away. And the sobs stopped. You fell asleep. I stood up and went back to my room. After finishing my homeworks, I closed the table lamp and laid on my bed. Again the same thoughts filled my fuzzy head.
“Will you be happy tomorrow?”
And the cycle kept on continuing. I wondered how long it will last…
____________________________________
A/N: YEAH XD my first shinee/cnblue fic XDD... kind of a fail ;__________; oh well.. I'm so tired and it's late already XDD I needa sleep.. i finally finished >:D hah in yo face mor! but I might have side story for minho and onew... or Jonghyun and taemin as in when Jonghyun was still alive maybe... I donno.. do you want it? XDD anyway enjoy! comments are <3'd and thanked