Feelings Beyond Comprehension...
Of course I've been idle from gaming and the likes...been watching Anime as well, other than Bleach and Naruto. Yes, I actually watch other anime for a change, recently, a high school Comdey/Romance series called Suzuka. Before that I watched a Vampire Anime Romance series called Tsukuyomi ~ Moon Phase ~, which is a finished 25 episode series. Suzuka is not finished though...14 episodes and still running. Somehow I can't wait for the next one...so looks like I got 3 anime series I'm looking forward to for new releases.
Somehow, a desire for the presence of a girl around my age comes into the picture. I guess watching these series made me feel different. Last Night I had a weird dream...and endless amount of arrows shooting at my direction, yet I was not afraid, and they all seem to shoot past me. The presence of a girl was nearby, most likely from the effect of watching Suzuka. My feelings we're touched and memories of how I used to feel came.
Memories of the past...is it truly all I have left of myself, or is there more to the picture than meets the eye? I'm alone, and isolated for the most part, I know that much...
And as much as I hate my father...I hate him so much everytime I hear any part of him, and well, just about anything he does is fucking loud and annoying. Not one soul have I ever wished dead, and he is the only one I wish were dead. He pisses me off in every single fucking way possible.
And my mother...she's changed...she's more caring and nicer. Perhaps she's becoming more in control of herself. But in the end, it's that fucking dumbass for a father that keeps her from being free to make her own decisions.
As for having two brothers...the big one moved out a while ago of course, and doesn't even call these days. Besides, when he does, and comes over, all he does is use the computer...guess he wasn't coming to talk to us and perhaps for once, spend some time with this isolated little brother of his...and the other brother, he's either working or spending time with his friends.
These days I wonder what's it like to have a family. I have no real family, besides my mother....and it's not like I can see my friends. It's either something goes wrong on my end, and by any chance in hell, it's right on my end, something is wrong on the other end.
I'm trying to not lose my mind, but what do I have left here? I'm talking about this dreaded jail they call a house. I've been losing my mind these days, though recently I have been able to keep what little sanity I have left.
I'm starting to think I have no future...
Somehow, a desire for the presence of a girl around my age comes into the picture. I guess watching these series made me feel different. Last Night I had a weird dream...and endless amount of arrows shooting at my direction, yet I was not afraid, and they all seem to shoot past me. The presence of a girl was nearby, most likely from the effect of watching Suzuka. My feelings we're touched and memories of how I used to feel came.
Memories of the past...is it truly all I have left of myself, or is there more to the picture than meets the eye? I'm alone, and isolated for the most part, I know that much...
And as much as I hate my father...I hate him so much everytime I hear any part of him, and well, just about anything he does is fucking loud and annoying. Not one soul have I ever wished dead, and he is the only one I wish were dead. He pisses me off in every single fucking way possible.
And my mother...she's changed...she's more caring and nicer. Perhaps she's becoming more in control of herself. But in the end, it's that fucking dumbass for a father that keeps her from being free to make her own decisions.
As for having two brothers...the big one moved out a while ago of course, and doesn't even call these days. Besides, when he does, and comes over, all he does is use the computer...guess he wasn't coming to talk to us and perhaps for once, spend some time with this isolated little brother of his...and the other brother, he's either working or spending time with his friends.
These days I wonder what's it like to have a family. I have no real family, besides my mother....and it's not like I can see my friends. It's either something goes wrong on my end, and by any chance in hell, it's right on my end, something is wrong on the other end.
I'm trying to not lose my mind, but what do I have left here? I'm talking about this dreaded jail they call a house. I've been losing my mind these days, though recently I have been able to keep what little sanity I have left.
I'm starting to think I have no future...