If you are dying and would like to hear a human voice while your heart falters to a stop , press 8.
You have reached the Houston police non-emergency line, if you are calling from a rotary dial phone, remain on the line for assistance.
[repeated in Spanish]
If you are the victim of a threat, criminal mischief, or vandalism and the value of property stolen or damaged is less than $5000 and you have access to the internet, press 9.
if you have not already called concerning this matter and you need a police officer to your location or to make a police report, press 1.
if you have already called concerning this matter and requested a police officer and you need arrival information, press 2.
To add information, make changes to, or check on the status of a police report, press 3.
If you need information about a towed vehicle, press 4.
If you need jail, court, warrants, and ticket information, press 5.
If your call is in reference to city business or services, press 6.
If you need numbers for police department's divisions or substations, press 7.
If you have a crime or drug activity tip, press 9.
For all other questions, press 0.
To repeat this menu, press the star key.
This is the actual recording you get if you call the Houston police, and transcribed verbatim by me. Incidentally, if you press 9 you are told to go online and fill out a form.
[repeated in Spanish]
If you are the victim of a threat, criminal mischief, or vandalism and the value of property stolen or damaged is less than $5000 and you have access to the internet, press 9.
if you have not already called concerning this matter and you need a police officer to your location or to make a police report, press 1.
if you have already called concerning this matter and requested a police officer and you need arrival information, press 2.
To add information, make changes to, or check on the status of a police report, press 3.
If you need information about a towed vehicle, press 4.
If you need jail, court, warrants, and ticket information, press 5.
If your call is in reference to city business or services, press 6.
If you need numbers for police department's divisions or substations, press 7.
If you have a crime or drug activity tip, press 9.
For all other questions, press 0.
To repeat this menu, press the star key.
This is the actual recording you get if you call the Houston police, and transcribed verbatim by me. Incidentally, if you press 9 you are told to go online and fill out a form.