There's Nothing We Can Do At This Point...
“Though it's true that no amount of tears will solve our problems, sometimes the mind/body/soul just needs a good cry…”
- Me (Via Facebook post)
Yesterday Mo was being particularly bratty. I knew she didn't want that white side of her family to come which is fine but what I didn't like was her saying they could sit in the parking lot so her dad would have a ride. (Because at first she said Player 456's mom could just drop him off but not stay then I asked how would he get back across town. Which reminds me, according to Kai, they owe the government $10,000) I told her she needed to start approaching this situation with a mature mindset. I agreed with her not wanting Player 456’s mom to be there cuz she does tend to make events about herself. I just didn't like the part where she could be Player 456's ride but couldn't move past that parking lot. It sounded mean/rude so I asked was that how she would like to be treated cuz it sounded gross. (Which is personal growth on my part cuz 6yrs back, I wouldn't have bat an eyelash at her doing this cuz… Storyline)
She was like: “I don't want him to come at all then!” And that's when it hit me. Mo is still looking at this like an entitled brat. She really thinks this comes down to what she wants and how she wants it. Soooooooooo I called Player 456 and guess what he was doing? Getting high while getting in the shower. The first thing outta his mouth was he wanted to come home cuz the streets aren't for him anymore and again, for the thousandth time, I had to remind him that he chose to leave, he didn't get thrown out and he started to cry. My heart breaks for him, it truly does but I didn't do this. He said he wanted a life of his own with fun and zero responsibilities. (You know what's insulting about his tears? If things were going great, he would care less than he already does right now)
*sighs* I called Mo back there so she could listen and explained what was happening and told her this has nothing to do with her feelings on her grandmother and everything to do with the fact that she doesn't want Player 456 at her graduation cuz he'll probably be high and embarrass her in front of her friends. He's not the man she once knew/loved and she needed to stop being naive about this situation.
I told her if she wanted we could plan something for him to be a part of but him on the actual day is a gamble. (Which is true)
Ya know what hurts the most? This is about a kid who misses their dad and due to how much was hidden, Mo's not like Kai. She didn't grow up with her dad passing out all over the place or high all the time. (Not to say that it didn't happen cuz bruh) She also didn't grow up with me feeling the need to broadcast all of Player 456's business every chance I got. Things happened, yes, but they were hidden so that neither her life nor Zyis' would be destroyed by his addictions. Does this mean I think I did it all perfectly? Fuck no! What it does mean is that I did what I thought best.
You know what hurts the most? That moment. You know the one. That moment where you're sitting there and you're watching your baby cry, wishing things were different and you know there's nothing you can do to fix it.
In those moments, that's when it feels like your best isn't good enough
Later
PS: I had my first mammogram. It wasn't too bad. I had to get an ultrasound cuz the tissue in my boots was dense. They had me a little worried there but nah. Boobs are healthy
- Me (Via Facebook post)
Yesterday Mo was being particularly bratty. I knew she didn't want that white side of her family to come which is fine but what I didn't like was her saying they could sit in the parking lot so her dad would have a ride. (Because at first she said Player 456's mom could just drop him off but not stay then I asked how would he get back across town. Which reminds me, according to Kai, they owe the government $10,000) I told her she needed to start approaching this situation with a mature mindset. I agreed with her not wanting Player 456’s mom to be there cuz she does tend to make events about herself. I just didn't like the part where she could be Player 456's ride but couldn't move past that parking lot. It sounded mean/rude so I asked was that how she would like to be treated cuz it sounded gross. (Which is personal growth on my part cuz 6yrs back, I wouldn't have bat an eyelash at her doing this cuz… Storyline)
She was like: “I don't want him to come at all then!” And that's when it hit me. Mo is still looking at this like an entitled brat. She really thinks this comes down to what she wants and how she wants it. Soooooooooo I called Player 456 and guess what he was doing? Getting high while getting in the shower. The first thing outta his mouth was he wanted to come home cuz the streets aren't for him anymore and again, for the thousandth time, I had to remind him that he chose to leave, he didn't get thrown out and he started to cry. My heart breaks for him, it truly does but I didn't do this. He said he wanted a life of his own with fun and zero responsibilities. (You know what's insulting about his tears? If things were going great, he would care less than he already does right now)
*sighs* I called Mo back there so she could listen and explained what was happening and told her this has nothing to do with her feelings on her grandmother and everything to do with the fact that she doesn't want Player 456 at her graduation cuz he'll probably be high and embarrass her in front of her friends. He's not the man she once knew/loved and she needed to stop being naive about this situation.
I told her if she wanted we could plan something for him to be a part of but him on the actual day is a gamble. (Which is true)
Ya know what hurts the most? This is about a kid who misses their dad and due to how much was hidden, Mo's not like Kai. She didn't grow up with her dad passing out all over the place or high all the time. (Not to say that it didn't happen cuz bruh) She also didn't grow up with me feeling the need to broadcast all of Player 456's business every chance I got. Things happened, yes, but they were hidden so that neither her life nor Zyis' would be destroyed by his addictions. Does this mean I think I did it all perfectly? Fuck no! What it does mean is that I did what I thought best.
You know what hurts the most? That moment. You know the one. That moment where you're sitting there and you're watching your baby cry, wishing things were different and you know there's nothing you can do to fix it.
In those moments, that's when it feels like your best isn't good enough
Later
PS: I had my first mammogram. It wasn't too bad. I had to get an ultrasound cuz the tissue in my boots was dense. They had me a little worried there but nah. Boobs are healthy