Saturday: Positive Points Addition... (Number 87)... And Some Other Things/Notes/Observations
"I'm looking for love. Does it live here?"
- Tony (Watching Dahmer with Andy has some upsetting points to say Tony's family is so angry about how they're depicted in the show)
Man, this weekend was actually pretty fun.
First, Mo and I went shopping at Five Below. (Man, for years I thought it was Five and Below. My life is a lie!) After that, we had dinner in the food court at the mall. Those steak fries were EVERYTHING.
After that, we got dressed, then I took her and Zyi' to a Halloween party at Ashley's house. (Player 456's sister… I swear, she dressed up as a man and I couldn't help but marvel at how much they look alike. I noticed it when I did his zombie makeup years ago) It was fun. I felt like a celebrity cuz Jojo kept introducing me to all these kids and these kids…
^Cracked me up is what they did. I jumped on the trampoline and ran around with Laurynn mostly.
Know what I noticed? The older I get, the harder I find it to relate to adults. I hate sitting at a table sharing war stories over whose life is the hardest. Okay, we get it… Bruh left you for some check out girl at Piggly Wiggly. That happened 10yrs ago, Cynthia! Shit 🙄🙄🙄 What are you gonna do about it? It just gets… Boring. I find it boring to sit around and complain. That's what therapy is for. I know my therapist doesn't think I need therapy anymore, but I do. Therapy plays a HUGE part in how I cope. I need a place to vent without someone feeling like telling me what they would do if they were me. Bitch, you ain't me! Sometimes I vent to make choices. I'll be in full on rant mode and suddenly go: "You know what? I know what I'm gonna do!" Therapy also keeps me grounded cuz I feel the need to tell her just about everything.
Know what I noticed? Mo has become so disenchanted by Player 456 that she feels the need to just blurt out stuff about him around people when I've already told her I don't leave the house to sit in a corner bitching about her dad. She knows what he did. I know what he did. He knows what he did. Shit, at this point, his story has reached far and wide. If your version of fun is boo hoo'ing over your daddy issues, stay at home. That's wet blanket energy and I want no part in that. Mentally, I've already taken that journey to forgiveness and one day, she'll have to either do the same or she'll live out her life bitter and searching for approval in all the wrong places.
I understand her pain because I've been there with my uterus donor. Unfortunately, once you reach a certain age, it's less about what has been done and more about what you're gonna do about it. You're either a victim or you're a survivor. Life doesn't sort that shit out for you. It's your job to figure out where you're gonna land. It is fair? Fuck no! Is it true? Yes.
I used to be the person who, when prompted, would open up about my feelings about what Player 456 has done, but one day I really had to hold my feet to the fire and ask myself what all that complaining was doing for me. Once I realized not a damn thing, it was easier to get it together. So I quit. Sometimes I flat out tell people I don't wanna talk about it when he's brought up… For the most part, I just stopped giving that situation power. She's still a teen ruled by her emotions. She's not there yet so I get it *shrugs*
^Lastly… This is just sad, ya know? After I checked him for his rudeness, I asked Kai what happened.
Apparently in a high ass stupper, Player 456 thought it would be perfectly fine to show his natural born ass and beat up Buddy in front of all the kids Saturday. (*sighs* More trauma for them to hafta sort out)
Ya know, I saw him Friday. He was pretty jittery to say he claims his shit is together. (Sure Jan 🙄🙄🙄) It's so unfortunate where the drugs have taken him. He's so far gone… I hope he isn't too far gone. Either way, I can't be a part of that. I can't have the back of a person who abandoned mine. That's past me's baggage. She was all about that super save a hoe life. This me is all about that minding my own business life. I can sympathize without intervening. It took me so long to realize/learn that. He needs help, this I know. I also know that it can't be from me and you know what? That's okay.
Later
PS: Guess what I found out?!
^BTS will be starting their military services as early as next week... It's gonna be a long hiatus. I dunno how they feel about the news but I can honestly say I feel as if they should have been exempt. I mean, they basically pushed Korea to the front of so many eyeballs probably for the first time in YEARS. In a positive light, I mean. And mostly South Korea. They made Korea soooooooo much money! They should be able to live their lives as they see fit now. That's how I see it anyway.
PS2: Jin is about to release a track soon. I'm excited about it cuz my husband requested that we trust them on this new journey they're on and I will. BTS had my back when I thought I was on my own and they held me up when it felt everyday the world was letting me down so if Namjoon says trust them, that's what I'm doing. I owe them that
- Tony (Watching Dahmer with Andy has some upsetting points to say Tony's family is so angry about how they're depicted in the show)
Man, this weekend was actually pretty fun.
First, Mo and I went shopping at Five Below. (Man, for years I thought it was Five and Below. My life is a lie!) After that, we had dinner in the food court at the mall. Those steak fries were EVERYTHING.
After that, we got dressed, then I took her and Zyi' to a Halloween party at Ashley's house. (Player 456's sister… I swear, she dressed up as a man and I couldn't help but marvel at how much they look alike. I noticed it when I did his zombie makeup years ago) It was fun. I felt like a celebrity cuz Jojo kept introducing me to all these kids and these kids…
^Cracked me up is what they did. I jumped on the trampoline and ran around with Laurynn mostly.
Know what I noticed? The older I get, the harder I find it to relate to adults. I hate sitting at a table sharing war stories over whose life is the hardest. Okay, we get it… Bruh left you for some check out girl at Piggly Wiggly. That happened 10yrs ago, Cynthia! Shit 🙄🙄🙄 What are you gonna do about it? It just gets… Boring. I find it boring to sit around and complain. That's what therapy is for. I know my therapist doesn't think I need therapy anymore, but I do. Therapy plays a HUGE part in how I cope. I need a place to vent without someone feeling like telling me what they would do if they were me. Bitch, you ain't me! Sometimes I vent to make choices. I'll be in full on rant mode and suddenly go: "You know what? I know what I'm gonna do!" Therapy also keeps me grounded cuz I feel the need to tell her just about everything.
Know what I noticed? Mo has become so disenchanted by Player 456 that she feels the need to just blurt out stuff about him around people when I've already told her I don't leave the house to sit in a corner bitching about her dad. She knows what he did. I know what he did. He knows what he did. Shit, at this point, his story has reached far and wide. If your version of fun is boo hoo'ing over your daddy issues, stay at home. That's wet blanket energy and I want no part in that. Mentally, I've already taken that journey to forgiveness and one day, she'll have to either do the same or she'll live out her life bitter and searching for approval in all the wrong places.
I understand her pain because I've been there with my uterus donor. Unfortunately, once you reach a certain age, it's less about what has been done and more about what you're gonna do about it. You're either a victim or you're a survivor. Life doesn't sort that shit out for you. It's your job to figure out where you're gonna land. It is fair? Fuck no! Is it true? Yes.
I used to be the person who, when prompted, would open up about my feelings about what Player 456 has done, but one day I really had to hold my feet to the fire and ask myself what all that complaining was doing for me. Once I realized not a damn thing, it was easier to get it together. So I quit. Sometimes I flat out tell people I don't wanna talk about it when he's brought up… For the most part, I just stopped giving that situation power. She's still a teen ruled by her emotions. She's not there yet so I get it *shrugs*
^Lastly… This is just sad, ya know? After I checked him for his rudeness, I asked Kai what happened.
Apparently in a high ass stupper, Player 456 thought it would be perfectly fine to show his natural born ass and beat up Buddy in front of all the kids Saturday. (*sighs* More trauma for them to hafta sort out)
Ya know, I saw him Friday. He was pretty jittery to say he claims his shit is together. (Sure Jan 🙄🙄🙄) It's so unfortunate where the drugs have taken him. He's so far gone… I hope he isn't too far gone. Either way, I can't be a part of that. I can't have the back of a person who abandoned mine. That's past me's baggage. She was all about that super save a hoe life. This me is all about that minding my own business life. I can sympathize without intervening. It took me so long to realize/learn that. He needs help, this I know. I also know that it can't be from me and you know what? That's okay.
Later
PS: Guess what I found out?!
^BTS will be starting their military services as early as next week... It's gonna be a long hiatus. I dunno how they feel about the news but I can honestly say I feel as if they should have been exempt. I mean, they basically pushed Korea to the front of so many eyeballs probably for the first time in YEARS. In a positive light, I mean. And mostly South Korea. They made Korea soooooooo much money! They should be able to live their lives as they see fit now. That's how I see it anyway.
PS2: Jin is about to release a track soon. I'm excited about it cuz my husband requested that we trust them on this new journey they're on and I will. BTS had my back when I thought I was on my own and they held me up when it felt everyday the world was letting me down so if Namjoon says trust them, that's what I'm doing. I owe them that