Awkward Talks With Kids...
"Unfortunately, you're wrong and I'm more than willing to tell you why..."
- Me (This was an interesting weekend)
Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to walk I go!
What's up, Livejournal?
You'll hafta excuse the drop in entries. I've been without phone and when I finally replaced it, I realized this one is full of shit. Like, bruh, I hate this phone so much. Ah well. It'll be awhile before I can replace it so I better learn to love it, right? *shrugs* Right
This weekend I dyed Kylee's hair again but so that it would be muted, I watered down the color. OMC... Her hair is the exact color Brittney's was before she died. I was like O_o
This was an interesting weekend with all the kids because as long as the poetry wall has been up, this was the 1st time I was asked to explain the subject matter I plaster ever so carefully across my walls. Mind you, these walls have survived three homes so I've never had a problem discussing it. David got all upset because he knows where the word vomit began and proceeded to upset the kids instead of keeping his trap shut because I didn't say any names when talking about the walls. All I did was say what the pointed poem was about. Not whom... Well, no. I did tell her which were about her mom and I even pointed out one that was about her dad. Just one tho' cuz... *cough cough* Storyline... Speaking of Brittney, Kylee and I were going through some of my written works and I explained to her that Soul Of Moons was written for her mom because Brittney had been asking to be a character. I explained that after she passed, I was really depressed and that's where Soul Of Moons began... And I explained that it helped me so much. Cuz it's true.
Now, on to Mo Mo because she believes in my eyes, Zyi is more important than her. That I show favoritism so of course I asked her to explain her stance because I do everything I can to make sure my parenting is even. All her examples were crap. I was like: Basically, because I don't give you the special treatment that your dad gives, I love Zyi more. That made me so angry because as a parent, you hafta be careful in how you treat your kids so I do everything I can to treat all four the same and yet, I respect that they all have different needs and interests. So of course, I asked that too. When she got done, I told her that I've seen this behavior many times over. She idolizes David and demonizes me. That she believes it's okay to not only favor David (Right down to telling me 3wks ago that David does everything for her and I do nothing... wait... What?), but shun me only to twist it into I don't love her when in reality, she is treated the same... She just wants more. Truth is, she couldn't name a time where she was treated differently... She just wants to believe that because in doing so, she can hold onto the idea that one parent is better then the other. As I told her Saturday, demomizing one parent to uplift another is not only wrong, she's missing out on valuable time with me that as she grows and moves on in life, she might come to regret. Hell, not all but the majority of teen girls get to a point where they think they have it all figured out and they don't want anyone to tell them shit. She's not the 1st and quite frankly, she won't be the last. Sad part is, the me she has created in her mind doesn't exist and she's missing out because she would rather see me as the enemy because David always wanted to be seen as the good/fun/better parent so he never created nor did he enforce any rules. Since it always falls to me, of course I look like the bad guy. Do I change that? No. Mo is old enough to learn and do right. Coddling her will only further the damage that has already been done... Truth is, I would gladly be wrong but it's looking like she's gonna follow the same path as alot of people... Taking one parent for granted to uplift the other only to regret it when the one they openly left unappreciated is dead and gone. Seeing as how she is negative about just about EVERYTHING, I'm leaning more towards the me being right side of things. It's sad to see so if I'm wrong... *applause* Because right now, as an outsider looking in, it reads as if she would rather piss on life than live it. Running around obsessing over other people's opinions... Especially the ones of her. She said she got it from David like that's something to be proud of. Bruh. Like I told her: If you live for their applause, you'll drown in their silence.
The whole evening got resolved to her feeling like I have more in common with Zyi than her and as I told her, that is true. Just like she has more in common with David. The difference is, Zyi isn't running around demonizing David to uplift me.
*sighs* A mother's work is never done
Later