Stress...
"Worry about your own stresses."
- David (He is a douche for this one)
Ya know, a lot of the time, when things hurt me, I don't say anything. When I'm angry, I don't say anything. When I'm sad, I don't say anything. I think I've convinced myself I can deal with everything to the point that if I get upset, mentally, I'm on lock down. Problem being: I can't deal with everything. There's a lot swirling around in my brain right now.
Mostly for selfish reasons but... Other people's stuff gets in too. I can't quite manage to be 100% selfish... Something always holds me back.
Here are my stresses...
1. David's depressed about his dad and refuses to talk about it. I really think that's unhealthy because I know where that road leads. He says I'm being a nag and (Post quote of the day) he doesn't wanna talk so we're not talking...
2. The Laurynn situation has really done a number on me.
3. I'm sick. I dunno how sick but 3wks ago I was sick and then it cleared up. Last week it came back. Sunday I was no longer symptomatic then all of a sudden, today I started feeling really bad all over again. All I keep thinking is: Is this the one? Am I not gonna get better this time? I don't wanna be a dread expectant kinda chick but it's scary. I've never been sick this many times so close together before. Hopefully I'm scared for no reason but I guess Imma be scared alone from now on.
4. I would start listing all my friends' stuff since their stuff becomes my stuff but, I have a confidentiality agreement on my mouth... I guess this also covers my texts.
I'm just... Lost.
Lately, I have never felt more empty. I keep trying to claw myself out of this hole but it keeps getting deeper and deeper.
Later
- David (He is a douche for this one)
Ya know, a lot of the time, when things hurt me, I don't say anything. When I'm angry, I don't say anything. When I'm sad, I don't say anything. I think I've convinced myself I can deal with everything to the point that if I get upset, mentally, I'm on lock down. Problem being: I can't deal with everything. There's a lot swirling around in my brain right now.
Mostly for selfish reasons but... Other people's stuff gets in too. I can't quite manage to be 100% selfish... Something always holds me back.
Here are my stresses...
1. David's depressed about his dad and refuses to talk about it. I really think that's unhealthy because I know where that road leads. He says I'm being a nag and (Post quote of the day) he doesn't wanna talk so we're not talking...
2. The Laurynn situation has really done a number on me.
3. I'm sick. I dunno how sick but 3wks ago I was sick and then it cleared up. Last week it came back. Sunday I was no longer symptomatic then all of a sudden, today I started feeling really bad all over again. All I keep thinking is: Is this the one? Am I not gonna get better this time? I don't wanna be a dread expectant kinda chick but it's scary. I've never been sick this many times so close together before. Hopefully I'm scared for no reason but I guess Imma be scared alone from now on.
4. I would start listing all my friends' stuff since their stuff becomes my stuff but, I have a confidentiality agreement on my mouth... I guess this also covers my texts.
I'm just... Lost.
Lately, I have never felt more empty. I keep trying to claw myself out of this hole but it keeps getting deeper and deeper.
Later