Relationships... Reviewed In 2010...
“I cry a lot when I write.”
- Lady Gaga
Since February is the national love month, (Oh, and Black History Month. No, I wouldn't forget such an amazing event ^__^ ) I decided to look at relationships as a whole. I’ve been in my relationship for 9yrs. Even when I wasn’t an active part of it. My relationship started out as the most beautiful, happy thing that ever happened to me. The next part wasn’t so great. Drugs, cheating, hate… Oh, the undeniable hate. Now tho’… Now we’re in a good place, a better place. The place we were supposed to always be. It’s safe and happy here. My problem is the safe part. I don’t wanna be with someone just because I believe they are safe because I won’t appreciate them. I get scared and start grasping for straws in places my eyes shouldn’t even be looking. It causes trouble, that’s for sure. I’ve loved David for nine yrs. I’ve loved him whether he was right in front of me or out getting in some type of trouble. I never judged him for what happened in our past and unlike most tend to do, I don’t blame him for my part in it. I forgave him for his part tho’ and honestly, I thought I would never be able to do that. He betrayed me, I betrayed him. We were horrible people back then. I don’t think I’m all the better but, I learned a lot from this. I still loved him tho’. That’s just me. I can love people no matter who they are or what they do. I can hold someone close to me and be there, as long as I consider them worth it. I dunno why I always felt like he was worth it but, he is. It’s David. He’s really a good person. A bit self absorbed at times but, who isn’t? Besides, nobody’s perfect.
Which brings me to my problem. Do I need my relationship? Do I want it? Will I grow in it or will I die unfulfilled in it? I like to believe that David brings out the best in me. We grumble at each other sometimes but ever since I’ve been working on myself, I realized that a lot of it comes from the fact that I take things personally. Sometimes I get emotional over silly, simple things. Then there are the times I don’t take the things I should be serious about serious enough. *sighs* I just need to know why I can’t just be happy. I feel so happy and proud but, things make me think. I think about lots of things and I wonder why I can’t just except my happily ever after. There are plenty of people who would love to find somebody who loves them as much as he loves me. Hell, we’re so in tune with each other, it has it’s own edge. It’s sexy. I love him.
I just think I need to spend this month excepting it or figuring out why I just wanna run from it.
Ergo, this month’s assignment: ***Relationships***
Later
- Lady Gaga
Since February is the national love month, (Oh, and Black History Month. No, I wouldn't forget such an amazing event ^__^ ) I decided to look at relationships as a whole. I’ve been in my relationship for 9yrs. Even when I wasn’t an active part of it. My relationship started out as the most beautiful, happy thing that ever happened to me. The next part wasn’t so great. Drugs, cheating, hate… Oh, the undeniable hate. Now tho’… Now we’re in a good place, a better place. The place we were supposed to always be. It’s safe and happy here. My problem is the safe part. I don’t wanna be with someone just because I believe they are safe because I won’t appreciate them. I get scared and start grasping for straws in places my eyes shouldn’t even be looking. It causes trouble, that’s for sure. I’ve loved David for nine yrs. I’ve loved him whether he was right in front of me or out getting in some type of trouble. I never judged him for what happened in our past and unlike most tend to do, I don’t blame him for my part in it. I forgave him for his part tho’ and honestly, I thought I would never be able to do that. He betrayed me, I betrayed him. We were horrible people back then. I don’t think I’m all the better but, I learned a lot from this. I still loved him tho’. That’s just me. I can love people no matter who they are or what they do. I can hold someone close to me and be there, as long as I consider them worth it. I dunno why I always felt like he was worth it but, he is. It’s David. He’s really a good person. A bit self absorbed at times but, who isn’t? Besides, nobody’s perfect.
Which brings me to my problem. Do I need my relationship? Do I want it? Will I grow in it or will I die unfulfilled in it? I like to believe that David brings out the best in me. We grumble at each other sometimes but ever since I’ve been working on myself, I realized that a lot of it comes from the fact that I take things personally. Sometimes I get emotional over silly, simple things. Then there are the times I don’t take the things I should be serious about serious enough. *sighs* I just need to know why I can’t just be happy. I feel so happy and proud but, things make me think. I think about lots of things and I wonder why I can’t just except my happily ever after. There are plenty of people who would love to find somebody who loves them as much as he loves me. Hell, we’re so in tune with each other, it has it’s own edge. It’s sexy. I love him.
I just think I need to spend this month excepting it or figuring out why I just wanna run from it.
Ergo, this month’s assignment: ***Relationships***
Later