Flux
Flux (flŭks)
n.
5. Constant or frequent change; fluctuation: “The newness and flux of the computer industry has meant many opportunities for women and minorities” (Connie Winkler).
I really have no baseline anymore, semi floating free. It's all about what I want to do, and I don't know that I've ever really had that choice: there's always been expectations or guidelines in place. But.. no work. Sorta no school (for now)... loans are here to take that need away from me, if I school. Where do I want to go? There is nothing in my view for reference points, nothing but a haze of potentials going off into the distant dark. Its a huge amount of freedom, something that most people will never have.
But as people who have seen me play a certain game, that very freedom is terrrrrrifying. So my big challenge is making my points. Tie down my lines and fling myself into the blue nothing. Car? House? Cat? What do I tie myself to, what do I keep or jettison? Do I want to keep working, or loan it up at school and rock that life?
Stupid getting laid off: I had a plan, dammit! Now I am back at square one. And that square is floating in space.
n.
5. Constant or frequent change; fluctuation: “The newness and flux of the computer industry has meant many opportunities for women and minorities” (Connie Winkler).
I really have no baseline anymore, semi floating free. It's all about what I want to do, and I don't know that I've ever really had that choice: there's always been expectations or guidelines in place. But.. no work. Sorta no school (for now)... loans are here to take that need away from me, if I school. Where do I want to go? There is nothing in my view for reference points, nothing but a haze of potentials going off into the distant dark. Its a huge amount of freedom, something that most people will never have.
But as people who have seen me play a certain game, that very freedom is terrrrrrifying. So my big challenge is making my points. Tie down my lines and fling myself into the blue nothing. Car? House? Cat? What do I tie myself to, what do I keep or jettison? Do I want to keep working, or loan it up at school and rock that life?
Stupid getting laid off: I had a plan, dammit! Now I am back at square one. And that square is floating in space.