Fearless
Chapter: One-shot
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Romance/Friendship
Rating: PG
Pairing: Hinted Riku/Sora.
Comment: Post KHII.
Fearless
By Lily M.
When they were seven, Riku thought Sora was afraid of ghosts.
When he and all their other friends camped out and told ghost stories by the fire, Sora would gasp and let out small whimpers every few seconds as the stories got to their darkest parts, Tidus’ voice holding the most dramatic tones. But when time to sleep came, although Sora held onto him a bit loosely and he slowly forced his eyes close, Sora never once thrashed, lost in nightmares. Riku couldn’t sleep for an hour.
When they were ten, Riku believed Sora was afraid of heights.
He’d challenge him to a race all over the high parts of their island. Sora would linger behind, treading carefully, and he could swear he saw him cringe sometimes, afraid he had taken the wrong step. Upon reaching the checkpoint, raising his hand in the air proudly, Riku was only greeted with whining. He would win next time, Sora would claim. And every time Riku challenged him, he never once backed down.
When they were twelve, Riku was convinced Sora was afraid of the dark.
Sometimes he would visit him in his room, in the dead of night, whispering to him to come out so he could see how pretty the moon was, and that they should go for a swim under the moonlight - it was summer after all. It would take him many minutes to convince the other, if at all, as he held his bedcovers close to his chest, claiming in a weak voice that they’d be in real trouble if their parents found out. He managed to convince him once. And although he looked pretty scared as they headed for the warm sea, a few minutes later he had fallen asleep on the sand, as if nothing really bothered him.
When he was fourteen, Sora fought against ghosts and gargoyles, with nothing but the moonlight to guide his way, surrounded by the dark spirit of Halloween, alongside the Pumpkin King, master of terror.
When he was fourteen, Sora flew. Into the sky, challenging sky pirates with the help of fairies, the wind brushing against his smiling face as he thought of how he could possibly describe the feeling to his friends on a later date.
When he was fourteen, Sora’s heart found itself lost in darkness. If only for a short while, if only accidentally, but it did. But he found his way out, he found his way into her arms. And he smiled then, his smile, full of what could only be described as light. As if he had never once been worried, as if he had never been lost in the first place.
And when he stood before the door to darkness, he stood his ground. He never faltered, he never backed down. Before the door to darkness, Sora was fearless.
Riku was confused then when one night, soon after his arrival back to the familiarity of his hometown - and familiarity had never seemed so good before -, he found Sora invading his room through the open window, as silently as he could, not even whispering his name upon landing on his floor, like they were children all over again. Riku waited, and waited, but not a single word left Sora’s mouth.
When his eyes snapped open, he was just as surprised as his best friend, whose own sky-blue eyes peered at him through the dim light very, but very closely. He landed ungracefully on his bottom, a just as ungraceful squeak meeting Riku’s ears.
He still wore his pajamas.
“Sora, what are you doing here?” He quirked an eyebrow as the younger teen gawked at him. He could number a few things his friend could want from him at such late hour, but staring at him in his sleep was not one of them.
He stuttered a few times, but nothing more understandable than an “I…” was said. Eventually, he opted for staying quiet, still sitting on the floor.
Riku frowned at the foreign look on Sora’s face, thinking that maybe the dim light was tricking him. He knew Sora better than he knew himself, maybe more than Sora knew himself. And if he was ever wrong about him, he learned from his mistakes, and found pride in knowing that, even if he let himself down, Sora never would. But why was it then that he could not pinpoint what was troubling the other at that very moment?
Was it…
“I was… afraid.”
He had never, ever heard those words.
“I was afraid that… I had this dream, this nightmare, and in it, you… I had to check, you know! Who knows what the dream was trying to tell me?!”
His unsure trail of thought was clear through his words, sentences broken, he looked broken. He bit his lower lip lightly, and still clouded in a light mist of sleep, Riku tilted his head to the side in wonder. Feeling his heart fall down to his stomach at the sight, as Sora continued to look away, not bothering getting up at all, he tried to catch his attention, calling a soft “Hey,” and patting the spot beside him on the bed. Sora looked at him for a moment, then slowly got up and made his way to the very familiar, albeit unusually small bed.
Not as much as five seconds passed by and Sora got up with a groan, whispering an apology and saying something about being stupid, attempting to climb his way out, through the window again. Sometimes Riku wondered if they ever used the front door of each other’s homes.
He called out his name, taking hold of his wrist, and then the look… The look took him by surprise again, his breath getting caught in his throat.
For a fleeting moment, he thought that maybe Sora was afraid of him.
But when the smaller one leaned closer - the ever smaller one, apparently weaker, apparently fragile, but he was the strongest person he knew, the bravest person he knew -, his face placed gently against his chest, the hand he held not moving to break free, the other one circling around his middle, he breathed out. He felt Sora let out a weak breath, too.
“I was afraid you’d be gone if I wasn’t looking, and this time I wouldn’t be able to bring you back.”
If I wasn’t looking. Not when he wasn’t looking, like he could betray him again if he simply felt like it, but like he was responsible for the first time, as if it was his fault, and not Riku’s. As if it wasn’t Riku’s weakness against the power of darkness, his fear of being left behind, his selfishness and blindness that doomed him up to those few weeks back when Sora, brave Sora found him again and helped him. Helped him more than he could ever help himself, like maybe he was fated to make the same mistakes again, and Sora was fated to save him time and time again.
He was afraid.
Reaching down, he placed his cheek against Sora’s, his other hand brushing his brown hair soothingly. He didn’t say anything. Just breathed, in, out. He felt Sora hold him closer, tighter.
He was afraid.
“Stupid Sora,” he breathed, loud enough only for the one he held so close to hear. Sora whimpered, and nodded.
“I know.”
“I’m not going anywhere. You know that too, right?”
No answer.
Sighing, he pushed Sora away gently, but still holding on his wrist, led him to his bed, the painfully small bed that could barely fit him and most likely would not fit him and his overgrown best friend. But there they lied, Sora not daring to look up at him, Riku not attempting to make him.
Soothing him to sleep, but feeling like he wasn’t going to actually fall asleep until much later, Riku thought how even his flaws made him so… So…
Sora. Even if he was ever wrong about him, he learned from his mistakes, and found pride in knowing that, even if he let himself down, Sora never would.