(no subject)
so i talked to jennie, and it was weird....
so ok, im demanding and she feels like shes walking on egg shells with me, but i dont ask anything of her...yeah shes there for me...she got upset because she thinks i resent her and tom, but that upset me like...1 and a half years ago when she stoped spending time with me and charlotte, so im confused there also as i dont argue about it or intesnionally bring it up 2 dig at her with....she also mensioned charlotte, but again that was like 1 and a half years ago...and im not her, so what ever happend there wasnt my fault.
im not saying anything she says isnt serious or upseting, i just dont understand why this has to be all dragged up again, and said like i remer. i cant argue or discuss or apologise for who i was in high school, or what i felt, or who i hung round with, shit i dont even rember half of it, and most of what i thought or did was pathetic so i can say nothign but sorry 4 who i was, but thats not who i am now.
im confused, i guess its because i cant comprihend with what shes saying, she seems to have place herself into some mother role while i drifted off...which is y this whole thing confused me mainly...no i take that back shes just more...no i dont no, but i thought we wernt like that, seriously. i dont need her to be holding my hand through everything. but then again i dont need her to be like you were this week...all nasty and horrible, as nothings changed, i treat her like she treats me, seriously i dont see the differnece. she told me she darent talk about things that bother her coz she thinks il laugh. i wouldnt laugh, i dont know what thats about...i think theres something iv missed, and i dont know what....maybe i am just a bad person, so nasty i drive all my friends away with my demanding neediness, as when we hung up, and i asked her y we had 2 go she squeeked 'look at u being needy!'...that wasnt it, i just wanted to know where she was off while we were arguing about this....shes going 2 make extra special effort 2 prove im not there 2 her, but thats whats arsey, i treat her like i treat jemma, she doesnt have to make extra special effort 2 kick my ass outta place.
i missed that councilling thing 2day, so no more getting better 4 abbye, especially now shes got no friends!!!
x
so ok, im demanding and she feels like shes walking on egg shells with me, but i dont ask anything of her...yeah shes there for me...she got upset because she thinks i resent her and tom, but that upset me like...1 and a half years ago when she stoped spending time with me and charlotte, so im confused there also as i dont argue about it or intesnionally bring it up 2 dig at her with....she also mensioned charlotte, but again that was like 1 and a half years ago...and im not her, so what ever happend there wasnt my fault.
im not saying anything she says isnt serious or upseting, i just dont understand why this has to be all dragged up again, and said like i remer. i cant argue or discuss or apologise for who i was in high school, or what i felt, or who i hung round with, shit i dont even rember half of it, and most of what i thought or did was pathetic so i can say nothign but sorry 4 who i was, but thats not who i am now.
im confused, i guess its because i cant comprihend with what shes saying, she seems to have place herself into some mother role while i drifted off...which is y this whole thing confused me mainly...no i take that back shes just more...no i dont no, but i thought we wernt like that, seriously. i dont need her to be holding my hand through everything. but then again i dont need her to be like you were this week...all nasty and horrible, as nothings changed, i treat her like she treats me, seriously i dont see the differnece. she told me she darent talk about things that bother her coz she thinks il laugh. i wouldnt laugh, i dont know what thats about...i think theres something iv missed, and i dont know what....maybe i am just a bad person, so nasty i drive all my friends away with my demanding neediness, as when we hung up, and i asked her y we had 2 go she squeeked 'look at u being needy!'...that wasnt it, i just wanted to know where she was off while we were arguing about this....shes going 2 make extra special effort 2 prove im not there 2 her, but thats whats arsey, i treat her like i treat jemma, she doesnt have to make extra special effort 2 kick my ass outta place.
i missed that councilling thing 2day, so no more getting better 4 abbye, especially now shes got no friends!!!
x