Yawn
Summer is interesting. I have way too much time to think. I am in love with someone so dearly. Though, there is an old flame that never seems to blow out. When I told the old flame about my liking for the new flame, of course, he was angry. I don't really know what to do. Both flames live far away and one is too damn old for me. I want the old flame to just do what he knows he wants to do, but I also want the new flame to be with me. It's hard, because I know which one is best for me, but I don't think I'll end up doing the right thing. The new flame makes me happy. The old flame makes me feel like there is something to look forward to. They're both beautiful and I know they both have the potential to be in love with me. That's all I have to say about flames, though. Sometimes I just want them both to burn out for good. On a different note, I am leaving for Texas in one week from today. I am quite excited. I get a vacation away from this place for the first time in years. I will miss my new flame. He will probably have me calling him a few times though, hopefully. I am going to take so many pictures, for him and for myself of course. I love taking pictures. Work has not been very fun lately. I am working seven days in a row so that I can catch up for the ten days I will be gone. Why is life so difficult? I am a hopeless romantic and all I really need right now is to fall in love. I am happy, I have a job, and I save money. I know what I want in my future, but I don't know who will be by my side. I can't trust one of the people I am in love with, and the other one talks to me like he's not good enough to deserve me. He doesn't even understand how I feel for him. He'll never really know, I don't think. My old flame asked me "Has he nailed you yet?" and when I tell him I'd never do that, that he's not the one I want to nail, he just gets angrier. I don't even know what to do. I feel like I am being emotionally abused. God help me. I need this vacation so badly. I don't think I should talk to anyone while I'm away. I am going to have a good time, and when I get back, I won't be the same person. I get ten days to think.