SSS 2014: For nyx06
For: nyx06
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: Hand in hand against the world
Pairing: Onew/Jonghyun
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Not really a warning but one of the characters is Minjung--fem! Minho. Because she rocks. That’s why.
Authors’ Notes: Dear nyx06! I am almost completely sure this is not what you had in mind when you asked for Jinki being a bartender and Jonghyun a singer. That being said, I am curious about your feelings after reading the story. To you and everyone else too: I hope you can find many reasons to smile in the upcoming days, weeks, months.
There is this place Jinki goes to. It is a routine, day after day after day. At 15:30 he opens the dark framed door and walks down the stairs.
Actually, this place is nothing magical--no secret passages or magic involved. It is, in fact, a bar he works at. An afternoon/evening schedule and he’s always behind the counter, washing the perfectly clean glass, polishing the immaculate counter, cleaning the dust that is not there at all.
Every single day he meets exactly three people--an old man, the old man’s brother and the angry lady. The first two come around eight, always ordering makolli, never staying longer than one hour. They are mostly silent, pouring each other booze and occasionally discussing actual issues.
Not that there is much worth mentioning. The world they live in is perfect. Perfectly clean, perfectly safe, perfectly calm, perfectly dead.
After the riot era, when Earth bleeded and the Sun wept and there was nothing but the burning bones and dying hope, those who survived decided to start anew, tabula rasa they called their vision. They built the new world from the ashes and wounds, created a gorgeous temple, as an apology to the Earth and to the Universe, for killing the gods, enslaving hope, disgracing the Sun.
This is Jinki's world. Calm, new, silent, apologetic. The news are filled with good deeds and new discoveries. The streets as clean as the new apartment he moved in merely two weeks ago, the people as scarce as the stars in the morning.
His days look something like this: he wakes up, takes a walk down the street and hopes he might meet someone who will be as desperate for a simple talk as Jinki is (sometimes there is, most days not). Then, he visits The Daily Goods department, get his share of warm meal and returns home.
He counts the seconds and the bricks. He counts few humans he spots and then he walks back to his apartment, rolls down the blinders and sits next to the bed. He pulls out a single box and holds her like it is the most precious thing in the world. It kind of is, inside of it there is a single book and a bunch of cassettes and a cassette player.
Jinki has no idea how these things managed to withstand the raids but once he found them lying across the street--at that time he was more than a little desperate for anything to happen--he took the box to his apartment, completely aware of the illegal nature of his actions and hid it under the bed.
*
He only dared to open it three days after discovering it, in the depths of the night, his curtains tightly shut, door locked thrice.
What he found was an old travelling catalogue, pictures of the places named with the names he never heard of it before. The sea, the mountains, the vast greenery and majestic desert.
He spent hours watching the pictures, imagining the Sun kissing his skin, the sea tickling his toes, the cool breeze ruffling his hair. All he knew was the temple zone, his home, the place built for providing safety and peace to the scattered humanity. He heard of stories, of the zero zone, the deleted zone, the lost zone. Only stories, brief mentions that were more of a bitter reminder of human's savage nature.
Nobody told him anything definite. People preferred forgetting to remembering and so nobody never wondered about all these places. They were more of a myth, a silent shudder of the times that have already passed.
But Jinki was like a sponge, he didn't stop there. He--by a stupidly lucky coincidence--managed to play the CC, the songs in the language he didn't recognize, but the voice, the harmony of soft sorrow and deep regrets all compressed in a tiny box. The first time he cried, the second time he clutched the pillow and hummed to it and the third time he sang along with the lyrics.
He was not dumb though. He did not understand the sad words (he only felt, deep, deep in his soul they bruised a part of him), but someone could have and they could tell him out. So Jinki kept his little (ridiculously illegal) secret to himself and went on with his life. Woke up, took a walk, ate a government-provided meal and in the night watched the government-banned catalogue and hummed to the sadness he never experienced.
*
The job advertisement took Jinki by surprise.
He didn't need a job to survive, nobody really did (except the volunteer hours, these were obligatory to everyone), so once he finished with the university, he decided to keep away from everything (too clean, too calm, too dead).
It was a simple note, tucked behind the knob of a door across the street. Maybe it was a sentimentality that decided for him--across the street, close to a place he found his beloved box--but he took up the offered challenge, opened the door to a empty place and immediately got the job.
*
The two old men usually get up after they empty their bottle of makolli. They thank Jinki for the service and leave. Jinki cleans after them in exactly three minutes.
He’s alone for an hour or so afterwards, and waits for his second client, the angry lady, to come.
Today is like any other day, empty bar and silent streets. Clean counter and silent buzzing of the fridge.
That is, until he hears the noise, accompanied by quickly approaching steps. Jinki is expecting the angry lady to stumble in as she always does, frowning at Jinki and brightening up at the sight of her usual drink--three full bottles of soju--already set on the counter.
Except this time, nobody enters. Jinki sighs and puts the glass in the sink. It is not that he has anything better to do than to check on the angry lady.
*
Truth be told, the angry lady has a name. She introduced herself the first time she bursted through the door, like a hurricane, with fierce look and frowned lips. That was two weeks after Jinki took up the job, two weeks after the start, two full weeks of completely empty place and two weeks of Jinki going slowly but surely mad. He cleaned and polished every single corner and table (total out of 4 tables the place had) and learned the names and prices of everything on the menu.
The first day she came around was completely identical to the one before, so when it actually happened, Jinki thought of calling emergency. Of course, she stumbled into the bar the exact moment Jinki had a phone in his hand.
She pointed her perfect finger at him (nails long and bright red) and grimaced,
“Fuck you and fuck the government. If you plan to sell me out, tell them that it was Minjung.”
Jinki, however, didn’t plan to sell her out. He was surprised but mostly happy to see a living, breathing human being after two weeks of talking to nonexistent spiders and flies. So instead of dialing, he put a bottle of soju on the table and poured a glass for Minjung.
She grumbled in approval, forcefully threw her silver bag on the counter and took a shot, drinking it up at once. She then smiled, perfect teeth and bright eyes and all and nodded.
“I like this place.”
*
This time, however, Jinki doesn’t find her when he checks up on her. He finds a man, curled up in fetal position, platinum blond hair splattered on the first stair, the end of the hair red and Jinki panics.
He thinks of calling emergency because this is one. There is someone wounded and god, does he, does he even breathe? Jinki turns around to walk back but he stumbles and barely catches himself on the doorknob. A bruised wrist is wrapped around his ankle and he hears the desperate whisper,
“Don’t call them.”
Jinki stares. And stares and his mind is spinning because of course he needs to call them. There is someone bleeding and--and then it hits him.
Maybe this person here, with striking blond hair is one of those delinquents that are whispered to still exist. It is more of a urban legend, really. Except Minjung Jinki hasn’t met anyone saying anything against government, much less act against it. The fact that humans are on the brink of extinction may contribute to the lack of violence and crime, but mostly it is just the system--once you appear to be potentially harmful to the environment, you are taken to the government facilities until you get better (they never return).
So Jinki stands up, because his heart is beating and his hands shaking and he--
“Please...please.”
Jinki closes his eyes and collects himself. He stares down and he has to look away when he sees beautiful, desperate eyes staring at him. Jinki slides down on the floor resolutely. Fuck, his mind is already two steps ahead of him, deciding on his own and Jinki wonders who is the desperate one here.
“You need to tell me your name.” Jinki says firmly. If the guy really is dangerous, he won’t tell the name.
“Jonghyun.”
Jinki nods and this is his cue. He moves closer, asks, “Can you move?” and when he gets a slow nod for the answer, he wraps an arm around Jonghyun’s waist and lifts him up.
Jinki hears someone enter and he looks up, all variations of justice warriors coming after this Jonghyun guy, taking them both, locking them up.
Gladly, it is only Minjung who curses and then whistles. She takes three long strides, standing next to them in no time, helping Jinki taking Jonghyun into the bar, both laying him down on the only bench in the corner.
Jinki improvises, taking the ice and wrapping it in a cloth, taking another one and cleaning Jonghyun’s bloodied face (and neck and bruises on the hand). Jonghyun is awake, looking a little lost but mostly grateful and there is more--Jinki can’t look him in the eye, there is so many living, breathing emotions in Jonghyun’s look and they are all so beautiful.
Minjung cleans the floor and the stairs and then walking behind the counter, taking her bottle of soju. Jinki makes a mental note to put it on the house today.
“He’s going to live. Nothing is split open, the bleeding also stopped. He’s perfectly fine.”
Jinki nods and looks at Jonghyun again.
Minjung walks up to them and looks again, a slow smirk on her face and then she flashes one of her dangerous grins,
“Now spill the beans boy. Are you with Kibum and Taemin?”
Jinki looks at her and then at Jonghyun and he frowns. Kibum and Taemin are the other two clients, the old brothers who come before Minjung does, sitting on the table, discussing the world’s affairs. Well mostly it is the older of the two speaking and raising his voice every now and then, smacking the other and nagging him to listen.
Jonghyun looks up, all bright eyes and hope. He nods a little and makes Minjung grunt in approval.
“Good. This is the correct answer. Were you followed?”
“I think not.”
Jinki clears his throat then, because he feels left out and despite having most of the pieces put together, he still needs someone to tell him what he got himself into.
“Whoa, wait. What?"
Minjung turns to him and squints. She walks up to him and looks down. She’s scary like that, wearing heels to her ridiculous height makes her like a goddess and Jinki knows better than to seek conflict with women in heels.
“Your cute little bar is headquarters where revolution is being born.” Minjung grins. She looks like she’s proud to say this--she probably is. Jinki gulps because all these words would be enough to get them all arrested but instead of threatening her he nods. He understands.
“Kibum said not to drag you into this but since somebody couldn’t stay in one piece--she glares at Jonghyun--you can as well know what’s happening.”
She takes her--dangerously empty--bottle of soju then and walks to the counter.
“I’m calling Kibum.” is the last thing she says before pouring the last of the booze.
Jinki turns back to Jonghyun then, reluctantly touching his shoulder to get his attention and when Jonghyun looks up Jinki feels like bursting.
“I’m sorry.” Jonghyun says.
Jinki shakes with his head and replies, “You should rest now. I’ll bring you a clean shirt and a blanket.”
He turns on his heels, walking quickly behind a counter, accidentally hitting the corner (he hears Minjung snort) and when he finds a shirt (it is way too big for Jinki to fit in, much less Jonghyun) and a blanket he walks back and puts it on the table in front of Jonghyun. He tells him where the bathroom is and just when he’s about to join Minjung he feels fingers wrap around his wrist.
“Thank you...what’s your name?”
“Jinki.”
Jonghyun smiles and nods, “Thank you, Jinki.”
Jonghyun voice is gentle whispers and nocturlabe lullaby, tiny petals and bright sunlight. A child’s giggle and birds chirping. He is a duet of lovers’ singing a song together and delightful Sunday afternoons, spent with families. Jonghyun’s voice is everything Jinki never experienced or saw, only imagined when listened to his beloved cassette.
Before his mind could daydream further, Jinki excuses himself and joins Minjung. He has so many questions for her he doesn’t know where to begin. He doesn’t get to ask anything, he hears the footsteps and then the old man and his brother enter, except this time, they don’t walk like they are having troubles moving nor do they grumble.
They are lean and tall and the one who is Kibum, takes off his fake beard (but not moustache) and a hat and he nods to Jonghyun and walks up to Jinki. He bows and says, his voice strong and wonderful,
“I am afraid we haven’t properly introduced ourselves. I am Kibum. That one over there is Taemin. Thank you for taking care of us.”
Kibum doesn’t say sorry for dragging you into this mess, nor does he say thank you for not bailing us out, he simply says thank you for taking care of us and Jinki doesn’t even question him. This is the most strange day of his life and he is a little giddy and excited because something is happening, here, to him, he’s the part of something else than cleaning the dust and he’s sure as hell not gonna spoil it.
There is so many questions at the tip of Jinki’s tongue but he waits and lets them talk among themselves and he goes back to cleaning glasses. He’s polishing the middle section when Kibum clears his throat and says,
“Jinki, right? You…do you live nearby?”
Jinki doesn’t say anything. He could nod, because yes, he lives nearby (literally across the street to be exact).
“See the thing is, at this moment I and Taemin cannot really walk around freely. Minjung cannot really either. So you will take care of Jonghyun, won’t you?”
Jinki smiles, confused. He wants to laugh but he stops before that and goes with a polite smile with a hint of I-didn’t-fucking-sign-up-for-this-but-hell-yes-I-am-in.
“In exchange you tell me everything.” he says then. He’s glad how firm he sounds.
Kibum drinks his soju and smiles dangerously, teeth showing. “Of course.”
*
Jonghyun appears to be silent for most of the days. He only sleeps or lies on the couch where his improvised bed is. Sometimes he browses Jinki’s catalogue--Jinki had to show it to him--lip caught between his teeth, eyebrows scrunched. Even when Jinki leaves for job--he can’t leave that out--Jonghyun stays in his tiny apartment and Jinki finds him the way he leaves him or curled up and asleep.
Jinki still goes to the bar, serving Kibum and Taemin and later Minjung and on the outside nothing appears to be changed. The only thing different is all of them asking for Jonghyun’s well being and also if there is any suspicious movements around. There is none, but then again they are the suspicious movement. So it is whether Jinki or the government being blind.
He doesn’t care, really. His priorities are simple. Wake up, bring the breakfast for two, drink tea and watch (subtly) Jonghyun washing the dish and then watching the catalogue (and sometimes,
Jinki lives for the sometimes, they listen to the cassette both lost in their own thoughts). In the afternoon it is all about cooking the lunch and then leaving for the job. The bar routine stays the same and by the time he comes come, he only cares about brushing teeth under three minutes and falling into bed.
Honestly, not much has changed. Jonghyun doesn’t take any significant space in his routine or maybe he just fills up the place Jinki had been saving for someone for so long he had forgotten it existed.
On good days, Jonghyun talks.
He talks about the sun and the grass, the real wild grass that grows big and dangerous and it is like those tiny bushes in the park nearby. Jonghyun tells the tales of raw winters and savage nights. His voice is calm and low but it feels like it is caught, captivated, kept in a cage and it really waits for Jinki to release it and make him soar again.
On some nights, Jinki wakes up to Jonghyun’s cries and when he checks up on him, Jonghyun is all sniffles and sorrys and Jinki wants to hug him but he is not sure if Jonghyun wants that too so he brings him a cup of mint tea instead, leaving it by the bedside and going back to the bed. Instead of sleeping he listens to any signs of Jonghyun crying but they usually disappear (or Jonghyun controls them so that Jinki can pretend everything is okay.)
It is awkward because Jinki doesn’t know what Jonghyun is. Or who. Or where he’s from or what made him to be so scared of everything. He wants to know, god, he wants to know everything but nobody would tell him and the one time he made Minjung talk she only mentioned that Jonghyun has been to the deleted zone and he watched the Earth weep as the human smothered it.
Jinki only assumes from this and the nights he makes mint tea but he is quite sure Jonghyun is favored by the gods. The official records tell no survivors from the deleted zone--only the number of enemies killed, for the sake of humanity. The deleted zone is one of the zones absolutely nobody talks about and if anyone mentions it, there are uncomfortable smiles and alarming looks, expecting for someone to jump at people and take them away. So in short, Jinki doesn’t know any details about it.
Once, he builds up courage to ask Kibum about it but he only waves with the hand and narrows his eyes, grunting,
“Stop saying nonsense.”
So Jinki waits. He waits for Jonghyun to get used to his company and for the day when he will be able to regard Jinki as a friend and not as a potential threat.
*
That day comes a month after and it is actually Taemin’s idea.
“Did you know Jonghyun can sing?”
Kibum beams up, proudly and he straightens up and smiles.
“He’s wonderful.”
Jinki nods and resumes cleaning the cupboard.
“You two should sing together sometimes,” Taemin adds.
The cloth falls on the floor with a plop and Jinki is thankful he wasn’t cleaning anything breakable.
“B-b-but I don’t--”
“Nonsense. You’re lying. We’ve been visiting this place for half a year now. Will you tell me you’re not only blind but also deaf? Do you not realise you can’t shut up when you clean the glasses, always humming same songs over and over again and they are all forbidden.”
Kibum stresses the last sentence and Jinki gulps. This is it. This is it but he still tries weakly,
“They are not forbidden.”
“Well for your record singing about shedding enemy's blood and marching triumphantly is forbidden. People might not understand the words but they will feel the drums beating and the drums are never accompanying the lullabies. So in short, you are a delinquent, Jinki.”
Kibum grins and his smile just keeps growing and growing and Jinki has to sit down and for the first time in a while he pours soju and drinks it down.
“All of the songs I sang are like that?”
“All of them.”
“But why?”
"Why what?"
"Why are they considered harmful? Why are they forbidden?"
Kibum scoffs.
Taemin explains for him, “To keep people immaculate, fresh and clean and just like how they want them. The population is small and to keep it that way and willing to follow with smiles on their faces they need to eliminate any other influence. It is quite easy. People stopped listening and caring for the past long ago. It hurts too much and it is too scary so why dwell on it when they have promised beautiful future all bright and clear.”
“All bright and clear.” Jinki repeats slowly.
He thinks of Jonghyun and he grimaces. There is no bright and clear future ahead for Jonghyun. That is something Jinki is 100% sure about.
Jinki is also quite positive Jonghyun, Kibum, Taemin and Minjung aren’t the only delinquents or revolutionaries or whatever they call themselves. Well, he supposes that now he is unofficially a part of their little group too.
He never got passionate about the life he lived before anyway. He followed everything he was told, yes. From entering the high school and then university and completing them both. There were times--high school times--that he was an aspiring student but that was a short period of time that turned into adolescent identity crisis and ended with master degree he never had any benefits from.
And now, now he feels like he’s standing at the crossroad and the wind is strong and it smells of the sea he only read about in the catalogue. He’s standing at the crossroad and on the left Kibum is grinning at him and Minjung is dragging a cigarette. Taemin is leaning on Kibum and Jonghyun, Jonghyun is next to him. Staring at him with his questioning, hesitant look and Jinki realises that he wants to know what tomorrow looks like by their side.
“So what do you think?” Kibum brings him back from daydreaming and Jinki jumps up. He probably looks a little dumb because Kibum groans, “You didn’t listen at all, did you?”
Jinki scratches the back of his neck, smiling in apology.
“Seriously, dude.” Kibum nudges Taemin to pour him another cup of makolli and the he looks up and repeats,
“We were discussing about you recruiting Jonghyun here. You will need help soon.”
Jinki laughs but Kibum’s face is serious and it looks like he is losing patience with him. Taemin distracts him by putting his own cup in front of Kibum, nudging him to pour some booze for Taemin too.
“How many people do you think come to this place?”
Kibum puts the bottle down forcefully and stands up. He looks at Jinki and snaps, “You really are blind.”
He takes a bag from the floor then and pulls out a red long haired wig and a hat. He puts it on Taemin and Jinki has to hold the sink for support.
Taemin puts on glasses for a good measure and a lot of things make sense now. Like the fact nobody ever visited the place or the fact there was no authorities around, checking on him. Taemin--or the person that looks right now--is Jinki’s boss. Well, at least, he is the one who gave him the keys on the day he signed up for the job and also the one who told him how to take care of the place and that he shouldn’t worry if nobody ever shows up. It is just unpopular place, Taemin had said, with a female voice and bright smile (wearing red lipstick, red heels, red red red).
And now Jinki realises that this little bar is headquarters to people who hate the government and the system. And apparently Jinki became a part of it the moment he stepped in.
“Why me.” he croaks.
“You signed up for the job,” Taemin shrugs.
“But how did you know...I mean, you couldn’t know. I could’ve I could’ve…”
“You couldn’t because if you were a scum we would take care of you immediately.” Kibum says indifferently and stands up.
“But our time is up. You are a good person and Jonghyun is in good hands so I trust you will make him come here and make him help you with anything you need.” He smiles then, all edges and illegal ideas, “This place needs some live music.”
*
Jinki has a knot in his stomach when he returns home that day. He fumbles with keys before he opens the flat and he looks over his shoulder too many times. Now, everything looks dangerous and suspicious and he feels like it is written all over his face. Traitor, it says. Threat. Of course, he wants to argue, because unlike Kibum (and he doesn’t know about Minjung and Taemin) he wouldn’t just kill someone. He would run, yes and he would like some things to be changed (like what is harm in liking things from the past?) but he doesn’t want to set the fire to the government, or cause any harm, create chaos.
People has seen enough calamities and now it is high time to remain at peace. That is something Jinki supports. Too many blood has been shed and too many victims who have died in vain already.
He thinks of Jonghyun then. And he closes his eyes. Because no matter how much Jinki wants to lie in the peaceful world, there is no place for Jonghyun in it and Jinki will not let anyone or anything harm Jonghyun.
*
Jinki lends (gives) Jonghyun his own old prom suit. The size should fit Jonghyun (it almost does). They stand in the kitchen, suit jacket neatly waiting on the table for Jinki to button up Jonghyun's shirt. He tries not to think about Jonghyun's nervous glances and fidgety fingers and who does Jinki fool anyway? They both know Jonghyun is completely capable of dressing himself up. Neither points it out.
Jinki clears his throat when he's done and hands him the jacket.
"Is it really okay with you if ... I mean, you are okay with going out right?"
Jonghyun rolls his eyes but smiles the moment after. He leans close to Jinki and pecks him and oh, this is new. Unexpected but not unwelcomed.
"It is definitely okay."
Jonghyun half whispers in Jinki's ear and Jinki curses his mind for hanging onto the possibility of the hidden meaning behind Jonghyun's words.
"Thank you, Jinki. For taking such a wonderful care of me," Jonghyun adds and walks to the entry door.
You're welcome stays at the tip of his tongue as he stares at the back of Jonghyun's head.
*
Surprisingly (or not), Jonghyun doesn't really need Jinki's assistance. He fits into the routine easily, mastering the piano Kibum and Taemin smuggled from god knows where. Jonghyun plays it like he breathes the songs--and Jinki supposes he kind of does. They have a hint of sweet, hesitant melancholy in it, a story hidden behind a veil.
His songs are sweet and calm and Jinki catches himself cleaning the same glass over and over again. He is captivated by the magic Jonghyun's fingers create and Minjung laughs at him for that.
"Stupid fool," she says. What she really means is hidden beneath her fond look as she orders another bottle. Stupid fools, she means, falling in love in the unfavourable times.
The idyll lasts for about a week.
It is the proof that they live. They live and appreciate and respect and love. They love in the caught up looks across the room, in Jonghyun's tiny smile that slowly turns into a wide grin (but only for Jinki, for him and him only).
They live and love and hold their hands at 3am when Jonghyun sits in Jinki's lap, crying into his neck, whispering confessions and fears and shares horrors from his own past (I watched them close their eyes and smile through choked sobs, they stood their ground until the last one fell, the children too and I watched and --) and Jinki hugs him and holds him until they are both too exhausted to stay awake.
They live and love and their cheeks are flushed red when Jonghyun back-hugs Jinki's half dressed form. They laugh and pretend they are eternal even if neither believes in the life after death. They hum the songs and close their eyes and face the world, hand in hand they dive into the sweet image of a better world, where they can both exist together. Freely, hand in hand, Jonghyun and Jinki. Just the two of them and no higher causes to fight for.
And Minjung laughs at them. Fools, she says. Fools they are, for daring to dream in a world that only offers them bright, numb cleanness. In a world where people believe in safety during the day and in the night they cross the line and go to forbidden places and make sure no people like Jonghyun, Kibum, Taemin and Minjung (and now Jinki) exist.
Fools, she laughs, holding onto Kibum's equally swaying form and they both laugh and
Taemin shakes his head at them, only mildly annoyed.
Fools, she murmurs under her breath when she sees Jonghyun and Jinki sitting hip to hip and playing the piano. She smiles when he sees Jonghyun kissing Jinki's cheek and Kibum coos from somewhere until Taemin smacks his head and laughs.
Fools, she thinks. They all try to live in the world that tries to spit them out.
Fools,she yells when the world finally spits them out. Fools, run! She yells through her bloodied teeth as she clutches at her ripped sides.
Fool, stays on her lips, unspoken, when she sees Kibum turning around and then his desperate grip clutching at her sides, her fading form.
Fools, at least let them escape.
*
The light summer breeze sneaks through broken windows into Jinki's apartment. It plays with the dusty curtains and flicks through the random sheets on the table. It lingers in the kitchen and then it jumps. There it is, the catalogue.
It is a little yellow, a little torn, a tiny coffee stain here and there, and then a sketch of two people, sitting on the beach, the water tickling their toes, their hands and dreams intertwined.
Let us run away, just the two of us.
~When and where?
Anytime, anywhere. Just the two of us, hand in hand against the world.
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: Hand in hand against the world
Pairing: Onew/Jonghyun
Rating: PG13
Warnings: Not really a warning but one of the characters is Minjung--fem! Minho. Because she rocks. That’s why.
Authors’ Notes: Dear nyx06! I am almost completely sure this is not what you had in mind when you asked for Jinki being a bartender and Jonghyun a singer. That being said, I am curious about your feelings after reading the story. To you and everyone else too: I hope you can find many reasons to smile in the upcoming days, weeks, months.
There is this place Jinki goes to. It is a routine, day after day after day. At 15:30 he opens the dark framed door and walks down the stairs.
Actually, this place is nothing magical--no secret passages or magic involved. It is, in fact, a bar he works at. An afternoon/evening schedule and he’s always behind the counter, washing the perfectly clean glass, polishing the immaculate counter, cleaning the dust that is not there at all.
Every single day he meets exactly three people--an old man, the old man’s brother and the angry lady. The first two come around eight, always ordering makolli, never staying longer than one hour. They are mostly silent, pouring each other booze and occasionally discussing actual issues.
Not that there is much worth mentioning. The world they live in is perfect. Perfectly clean, perfectly safe, perfectly calm, perfectly dead.
After the riot era, when Earth bleeded and the Sun wept and there was nothing but the burning bones and dying hope, those who survived decided to start anew, tabula rasa they called their vision. They built the new world from the ashes and wounds, created a gorgeous temple, as an apology to the Earth and to the Universe, for killing the gods, enslaving hope, disgracing the Sun.
This is Jinki's world. Calm, new, silent, apologetic. The news are filled with good deeds and new discoveries. The streets as clean as the new apartment he moved in merely two weeks ago, the people as scarce as the stars in the morning.
His days look something like this: he wakes up, takes a walk down the street and hopes he might meet someone who will be as desperate for a simple talk as Jinki is (sometimes there is, most days not). Then, he visits The Daily Goods department, get his share of warm meal and returns home.
He counts the seconds and the bricks. He counts few humans he spots and then he walks back to his apartment, rolls down the blinders and sits next to the bed. He pulls out a single box and holds her like it is the most precious thing in the world. It kind of is, inside of it there is a single book and a bunch of cassettes and a cassette player.
Jinki has no idea how these things managed to withstand the raids but once he found them lying across the street--at that time he was more than a little desperate for anything to happen--he took the box to his apartment, completely aware of the illegal nature of his actions and hid it under the bed.
*
He only dared to open it three days after discovering it, in the depths of the night, his curtains tightly shut, door locked thrice.
What he found was an old travelling catalogue, pictures of the places named with the names he never heard of it before. The sea, the mountains, the vast greenery and majestic desert.
He spent hours watching the pictures, imagining the Sun kissing his skin, the sea tickling his toes, the cool breeze ruffling his hair. All he knew was the temple zone, his home, the place built for providing safety and peace to the scattered humanity. He heard of stories, of the zero zone, the deleted zone, the lost zone. Only stories, brief mentions that were more of a bitter reminder of human's savage nature.
Nobody told him anything definite. People preferred forgetting to remembering and so nobody never wondered about all these places. They were more of a myth, a silent shudder of the times that have already passed.
But Jinki was like a sponge, he didn't stop there. He--by a stupidly lucky coincidence--managed to play the CC, the songs in the language he didn't recognize, but the voice, the harmony of soft sorrow and deep regrets all compressed in a tiny box. The first time he cried, the second time he clutched the pillow and hummed to it and the third time he sang along with the lyrics.
He was not dumb though. He did not understand the sad words (he only felt, deep, deep in his soul they bruised a part of him), but someone could have and they could tell him out. So Jinki kept his little (ridiculously illegal) secret to himself and went on with his life. Woke up, took a walk, ate a government-provided meal and in the night watched the government-banned catalogue and hummed to the sadness he never experienced.
*
The job advertisement took Jinki by surprise.
He didn't need a job to survive, nobody really did (except the volunteer hours, these were obligatory to everyone), so once he finished with the university, he decided to keep away from everything (too clean, too calm, too dead).
It was a simple note, tucked behind the knob of a door across the street. Maybe it was a sentimentality that decided for him--across the street, close to a place he found his beloved box--but he took up the offered challenge, opened the door to a empty place and immediately got the job.
*
The two old men usually get up after they empty their bottle of makolli. They thank Jinki for the service and leave. Jinki cleans after them in exactly three minutes.
He’s alone for an hour or so afterwards, and waits for his second client, the angry lady, to come.
Today is like any other day, empty bar and silent streets. Clean counter and silent buzzing of the fridge.
That is, until he hears the noise, accompanied by quickly approaching steps. Jinki is expecting the angry lady to stumble in as she always does, frowning at Jinki and brightening up at the sight of her usual drink--three full bottles of soju--already set on the counter.
Except this time, nobody enters. Jinki sighs and puts the glass in the sink. It is not that he has anything better to do than to check on the angry lady.
*
Truth be told, the angry lady has a name. She introduced herself the first time she bursted through the door, like a hurricane, with fierce look and frowned lips. That was two weeks after Jinki took up the job, two weeks after the start, two full weeks of completely empty place and two weeks of Jinki going slowly but surely mad. He cleaned and polished every single corner and table (total out of 4 tables the place had) and learned the names and prices of everything on the menu.
The first day she came around was completely identical to the one before, so when it actually happened, Jinki thought of calling emergency. Of course, she stumbled into the bar the exact moment Jinki had a phone in his hand.
She pointed her perfect finger at him (nails long and bright red) and grimaced,
“Fuck you and fuck the government. If you plan to sell me out, tell them that it was Minjung.”
Jinki, however, didn’t plan to sell her out. He was surprised but mostly happy to see a living, breathing human being after two weeks of talking to nonexistent spiders and flies. So instead of dialing, he put a bottle of soju on the table and poured a glass for Minjung.
She grumbled in approval, forcefully threw her silver bag on the counter and took a shot, drinking it up at once. She then smiled, perfect teeth and bright eyes and all and nodded.
“I like this place.”
*
This time, however, Jinki doesn’t find her when he checks up on her. He finds a man, curled up in fetal position, platinum blond hair splattered on the first stair, the end of the hair red and Jinki panics.
He thinks of calling emergency because this is one. There is someone wounded and god, does he, does he even breathe? Jinki turns around to walk back but he stumbles and barely catches himself on the doorknob. A bruised wrist is wrapped around his ankle and he hears the desperate whisper,
“Don’t call them.”
Jinki stares. And stares and his mind is spinning because of course he needs to call them. There is someone bleeding and--and then it hits him.
Maybe this person here, with striking blond hair is one of those delinquents that are whispered to still exist. It is more of a urban legend, really. Except Minjung Jinki hasn’t met anyone saying anything against government, much less act against it. The fact that humans are on the brink of extinction may contribute to the lack of violence and crime, but mostly it is just the system--once you appear to be potentially harmful to the environment, you are taken to the government facilities until you get better (they never return).
So Jinki stands up, because his heart is beating and his hands shaking and he--
“Please...please.”
Jinki closes his eyes and collects himself. He stares down and he has to look away when he sees beautiful, desperate eyes staring at him. Jinki slides down on the floor resolutely. Fuck, his mind is already two steps ahead of him, deciding on his own and Jinki wonders who is the desperate one here.
“You need to tell me your name.” Jinki says firmly. If the guy really is dangerous, he won’t tell the name.
“Jonghyun.”
Jinki nods and this is his cue. He moves closer, asks, “Can you move?” and when he gets a slow nod for the answer, he wraps an arm around Jonghyun’s waist and lifts him up.
Jinki hears someone enter and he looks up, all variations of justice warriors coming after this Jonghyun guy, taking them both, locking them up.
Gladly, it is only Minjung who curses and then whistles. She takes three long strides, standing next to them in no time, helping Jinki taking Jonghyun into the bar, both laying him down on the only bench in the corner.
Jinki improvises, taking the ice and wrapping it in a cloth, taking another one and cleaning Jonghyun’s bloodied face (and neck and bruises on the hand). Jonghyun is awake, looking a little lost but mostly grateful and there is more--Jinki can’t look him in the eye, there is so many living, breathing emotions in Jonghyun’s look and they are all so beautiful.
Minjung cleans the floor and the stairs and then walking behind the counter, taking her bottle of soju. Jinki makes a mental note to put it on the house today.
“He’s going to live. Nothing is split open, the bleeding also stopped. He’s perfectly fine.”
Jinki nods and looks at Jonghyun again.
Minjung walks up to them and looks again, a slow smirk on her face and then she flashes one of her dangerous grins,
“Now spill the beans boy. Are you with Kibum and Taemin?”
Jinki looks at her and then at Jonghyun and he frowns. Kibum and Taemin are the other two clients, the old brothers who come before Minjung does, sitting on the table, discussing the world’s affairs. Well mostly it is the older of the two speaking and raising his voice every now and then, smacking the other and nagging him to listen.
Jonghyun looks up, all bright eyes and hope. He nods a little and makes Minjung grunt in approval.
“Good. This is the correct answer. Were you followed?”
“I think not.”
Jinki clears his throat then, because he feels left out and despite having most of the pieces put together, he still needs someone to tell him what he got himself into.
“Whoa, wait. What?"
Minjung turns to him and squints. She walks up to him and looks down. She’s scary like that, wearing heels to her ridiculous height makes her like a goddess and Jinki knows better than to seek conflict with women in heels.
“Your cute little bar is headquarters where revolution is being born.” Minjung grins. She looks like she’s proud to say this--she probably is. Jinki gulps because all these words would be enough to get them all arrested but instead of threatening her he nods. He understands.
“Kibum said not to drag you into this but since somebody couldn’t stay in one piece--she glares at Jonghyun--you can as well know what’s happening.”
She takes her--dangerously empty--bottle of soju then and walks to the counter.
“I’m calling Kibum.” is the last thing she says before pouring the last of the booze.
Jinki turns back to Jonghyun then, reluctantly touching his shoulder to get his attention and when Jonghyun looks up Jinki feels like bursting.
“I’m sorry.” Jonghyun says.
Jinki shakes with his head and replies, “You should rest now. I’ll bring you a clean shirt and a blanket.”
He turns on his heels, walking quickly behind a counter, accidentally hitting the corner (he hears Minjung snort) and when he finds a shirt (it is way too big for Jinki to fit in, much less Jonghyun) and a blanket he walks back and puts it on the table in front of Jonghyun. He tells him where the bathroom is and just when he’s about to join Minjung he feels fingers wrap around his wrist.
“Thank you...what’s your name?”
“Jinki.”
Jonghyun smiles and nods, “Thank you, Jinki.”
Jonghyun voice is gentle whispers and nocturlabe lullaby, tiny petals and bright sunlight. A child’s giggle and birds chirping. He is a duet of lovers’ singing a song together and delightful Sunday afternoons, spent with families. Jonghyun’s voice is everything Jinki never experienced or saw, only imagined when listened to his beloved cassette.
Before his mind could daydream further, Jinki excuses himself and joins Minjung. He has so many questions for her he doesn’t know where to begin. He doesn’t get to ask anything, he hears the footsteps and then the old man and his brother enter, except this time, they don’t walk like they are having troubles moving nor do they grumble.
They are lean and tall and the one who is Kibum, takes off his fake beard (but not moustache) and a hat and he nods to Jonghyun and walks up to Jinki. He bows and says, his voice strong and wonderful,
“I am afraid we haven’t properly introduced ourselves. I am Kibum. That one over there is Taemin. Thank you for taking care of us.”
Kibum doesn’t say sorry for dragging you into this mess, nor does he say thank you for not bailing us out, he simply says thank you for taking care of us and Jinki doesn’t even question him. This is the most strange day of his life and he is a little giddy and excited because something is happening, here, to him, he’s the part of something else than cleaning the dust and he’s sure as hell not gonna spoil it.
There is so many questions at the tip of Jinki’s tongue but he waits and lets them talk among themselves and he goes back to cleaning glasses. He’s polishing the middle section when Kibum clears his throat and says,
“Jinki, right? You…do you live nearby?”
Jinki doesn’t say anything. He could nod, because yes, he lives nearby (literally across the street to be exact).
“See the thing is, at this moment I and Taemin cannot really walk around freely. Minjung cannot really either. So you will take care of Jonghyun, won’t you?”
Jinki smiles, confused. He wants to laugh but he stops before that and goes with a polite smile with a hint of I-didn’t-fucking-sign-up-for-this-but-hell-yes-I-am-in.
“In exchange you tell me everything.” he says then. He’s glad how firm he sounds.
Kibum drinks his soju and smiles dangerously, teeth showing. “Of course.”
*
Jonghyun appears to be silent for most of the days. He only sleeps or lies on the couch where his improvised bed is. Sometimes he browses Jinki’s catalogue--Jinki had to show it to him--lip caught between his teeth, eyebrows scrunched. Even when Jinki leaves for job--he can’t leave that out--Jonghyun stays in his tiny apartment and Jinki finds him the way he leaves him or curled up and asleep.
Jinki still goes to the bar, serving Kibum and Taemin and later Minjung and on the outside nothing appears to be changed. The only thing different is all of them asking for Jonghyun’s well being and also if there is any suspicious movements around. There is none, but then again they are the suspicious movement. So it is whether Jinki or the government being blind.
He doesn’t care, really. His priorities are simple. Wake up, bring the breakfast for two, drink tea and watch (subtly) Jonghyun washing the dish and then watching the catalogue (and sometimes,
Jinki lives for the sometimes, they listen to the cassette both lost in their own thoughts). In the afternoon it is all about cooking the lunch and then leaving for the job. The bar routine stays the same and by the time he comes come, he only cares about brushing teeth under three minutes and falling into bed.
Honestly, not much has changed. Jonghyun doesn’t take any significant space in his routine or maybe he just fills up the place Jinki had been saving for someone for so long he had forgotten it existed.
On good days, Jonghyun talks.
He talks about the sun and the grass, the real wild grass that grows big and dangerous and it is like those tiny bushes in the park nearby. Jonghyun tells the tales of raw winters and savage nights. His voice is calm and low but it feels like it is caught, captivated, kept in a cage and it really waits for Jinki to release it and make him soar again.
On some nights, Jinki wakes up to Jonghyun’s cries and when he checks up on him, Jonghyun is all sniffles and sorrys and Jinki wants to hug him but he is not sure if Jonghyun wants that too so he brings him a cup of mint tea instead, leaving it by the bedside and going back to the bed. Instead of sleeping he listens to any signs of Jonghyun crying but they usually disappear (or Jonghyun controls them so that Jinki can pretend everything is okay.)
It is awkward because Jinki doesn’t know what Jonghyun is. Or who. Or where he’s from or what made him to be so scared of everything. He wants to know, god, he wants to know everything but nobody would tell him and the one time he made Minjung talk she only mentioned that Jonghyun has been to the deleted zone and he watched the Earth weep as the human smothered it.
Jinki only assumes from this and the nights he makes mint tea but he is quite sure Jonghyun is favored by the gods. The official records tell no survivors from the deleted zone--only the number of enemies killed, for the sake of humanity. The deleted zone is one of the zones absolutely nobody talks about and if anyone mentions it, there are uncomfortable smiles and alarming looks, expecting for someone to jump at people and take them away. So in short, Jinki doesn’t know any details about it.
Once, he builds up courage to ask Kibum about it but he only waves with the hand and narrows his eyes, grunting,
“Stop saying nonsense.”
So Jinki waits. He waits for Jonghyun to get used to his company and for the day when he will be able to regard Jinki as a friend and not as a potential threat.
*
That day comes a month after and it is actually Taemin’s idea.
“Did you know Jonghyun can sing?”
Kibum beams up, proudly and he straightens up and smiles.
“He’s wonderful.”
Jinki nods and resumes cleaning the cupboard.
“You two should sing together sometimes,” Taemin adds.
The cloth falls on the floor with a plop and Jinki is thankful he wasn’t cleaning anything breakable.
“B-b-but I don’t--”
“Nonsense. You’re lying. We’ve been visiting this place for half a year now. Will you tell me you’re not only blind but also deaf? Do you not realise you can’t shut up when you clean the glasses, always humming same songs over and over again and they are all forbidden.”
Kibum stresses the last sentence and Jinki gulps. This is it. This is it but he still tries weakly,
“They are not forbidden.”
“Well for your record singing about shedding enemy's blood and marching triumphantly is forbidden. People might not understand the words but they will feel the drums beating and the drums are never accompanying the lullabies. So in short, you are a delinquent, Jinki.”
Kibum grins and his smile just keeps growing and growing and Jinki has to sit down and for the first time in a while he pours soju and drinks it down.
“All of the songs I sang are like that?”
“All of them.”
“But why?”
"Why what?"
"Why are they considered harmful? Why are they forbidden?"
Kibum scoffs.
Taemin explains for him, “To keep people immaculate, fresh and clean and just like how they want them. The population is small and to keep it that way and willing to follow with smiles on their faces they need to eliminate any other influence. It is quite easy. People stopped listening and caring for the past long ago. It hurts too much and it is too scary so why dwell on it when they have promised beautiful future all bright and clear.”
“All bright and clear.” Jinki repeats slowly.
He thinks of Jonghyun and he grimaces. There is no bright and clear future ahead for Jonghyun. That is something Jinki is 100% sure about.
Jinki is also quite positive Jonghyun, Kibum, Taemin and Minjung aren’t the only delinquents or revolutionaries or whatever they call themselves. Well, he supposes that now he is unofficially a part of their little group too.
He never got passionate about the life he lived before anyway. He followed everything he was told, yes. From entering the high school and then university and completing them both. There were times--high school times--that he was an aspiring student but that was a short period of time that turned into adolescent identity crisis and ended with master degree he never had any benefits from.
And now, now he feels like he’s standing at the crossroad and the wind is strong and it smells of the sea he only read about in the catalogue. He’s standing at the crossroad and on the left Kibum is grinning at him and Minjung is dragging a cigarette. Taemin is leaning on Kibum and Jonghyun, Jonghyun is next to him. Staring at him with his questioning, hesitant look and Jinki realises that he wants to know what tomorrow looks like by their side.
“So what do you think?” Kibum brings him back from daydreaming and Jinki jumps up. He probably looks a little dumb because Kibum groans, “You didn’t listen at all, did you?”
Jinki scratches the back of his neck, smiling in apology.
“Seriously, dude.” Kibum nudges Taemin to pour him another cup of makolli and the he looks up and repeats,
“We were discussing about you recruiting Jonghyun here. You will need help soon.”
Jinki laughs but Kibum’s face is serious and it looks like he is losing patience with him. Taemin distracts him by putting his own cup in front of Kibum, nudging him to pour some booze for Taemin too.
“How many people do you think come to this place?”
Kibum puts the bottle down forcefully and stands up. He looks at Jinki and snaps, “You really are blind.”
He takes a bag from the floor then and pulls out a red long haired wig and a hat. He puts it on Taemin and Jinki has to hold the sink for support.
Taemin puts on glasses for a good measure and a lot of things make sense now. Like the fact nobody ever visited the place or the fact there was no authorities around, checking on him. Taemin--or the person that looks right now--is Jinki’s boss. Well, at least, he is the one who gave him the keys on the day he signed up for the job and also the one who told him how to take care of the place and that he shouldn’t worry if nobody ever shows up. It is just unpopular place, Taemin had said, with a female voice and bright smile (wearing red lipstick, red heels, red red red).
And now Jinki realises that this little bar is headquarters to people who hate the government and the system. And apparently Jinki became a part of it the moment he stepped in.
“Why me.” he croaks.
“You signed up for the job,” Taemin shrugs.
“But how did you know...I mean, you couldn’t know. I could’ve I could’ve…”
“You couldn’t because if you were a scum we would take care of you immediately.” Kibum says indifferently and stands up.
“But our time is up. You are a good person and Jonghyun is in good hands so I trust you will make him come here and make him help you with anything you need.” He smiles then, all edges and illegal ideas, “This place needs some live music.”
*
Jinki has a knot in his stomach when he returns home that day. He fumbles with keys before he opens the flat and he looks over his shoulder too many times. Now, everything looks dangerous and suspicious and he feels like it is written all over his face. Traitor, it says. Threat. Of course, he wants to argue, because unlike Kibum (and he doesn’t know about Minjung and Taemin) he wouldn’t just kill someone. He would run, yes and he would like some things to be changed (like what is harm in liking things from the past?) but he doesn’t want to set the fire to the government, or cause any harm, create chaos.
People has seen enough calamities and now it is high time to remain at peace. That is something Jinki supports. Too many blood has been shed and too many victims who have died in vain already.
He thinks of Jonghyun then. And he closes his eyes. Because no matter how much Jinki wants to lie in the peaceful world, there is no place for Jonghyun in it and Jinki will not let anyone or anything harm Jonghyun.
*
Jinki lends (gives) Jonghyun his own old prom suit. The size should fit Jonghyun (it almost does). They stand in the kitchen, suit jacket neatly waiting on the table for Jinki to button up Jonghyun's shirt. He tries not to think about Jonghyun's nervous glances and fidgety fingers and who does Jinki fool anyway? They both know Jonghyun is completely capable of dressing himself up. Neither points it out.
Jinki clears his throat when he's done and hands him the jacket.
"Is it really okay with you if ... I mean, you are okay with going out right?"
Jonghyun rolls his eyes but smiles the moment after. He leans close to Jinki and pecks him and oh, this is new. Unexpected but not unwelcomed.
"It is definitely okay."
Jonghyun half whispers in Jinki's ear and Jinki curses his mind for hanging onto the possibility of the hidden meaning behind Jonghyun's words.
"Thank you, Jinki. For taking such a wonderful care of me," Jonghyun adds and walks to the entry door.
You're welcome stays at the tip of his tongue as he stares at the back of Jonghyun's head.
*
Surprisingly (or not), Jonghyun doesn't really need Jinki's assistance. He fits into the routine easily, mastering the piano Kibum and Taemin smuggled from god knows where. Jonghyun plays it like he breathes the songs--and Jinki supposes he kind of does. They have a hint of sweet, hesitant melancholy in it, a story hidden behind a veil.
His songs are sweet and calm and Jinki catches himself cleaning the same glass over and over again. He is captivated by the magic Jonghyun's fingers create and Minjung laughs at him for that.
"Stupid fool," she says. What she really means is hidden beneath her fond look as she orders another bottle. Stupid fools, she means, falling in love in the unfavourable times.
The idyll lasts for about a week.
It is the proof that they live. They live and appreciate and respect and love. They love in the caught up looks across the room, in Jonghyun's tiny smile that slowly turns into a wide grin (but only for Jinki, for him and him only).
They live and love and hold their hands at 3am when Jonghyun sits in Jinki's lap, crying into his neck, whispering confessions and fears and shares horrors from his own past (I watched them close their eyes and smile through choked sobs, they stood their ground until the last one fell, the children too and I watched and --) and Jinki hugs him and holds him until they are both too exhausted to stay awake.
They live and love and their cheeks are flushed red when Jonghyun back-hugs Jinki's half dressed form. They laugh and pretend they are eternal even if neither believes in the life after death. They hum the songs and close their eyes and face the world, hand in hand they dive into the sweet image of a better world, where they can both exist together. Freely, hand in hand, Jonghyun and Jinki. Just the two of them and no higher causes to fight for.
And Minjung laughs at them. Fools, she says. Fools they are, for daring to dream in a world that only offers them bright, numb cleanness. In a world where people believe in safety during the day and in the night they cross the line and go to forbidden places and make sure no people like Jonghyun, Kibum, Taemin and Minjung (and now Jinki) exist.
Fools, she laughs, holding onto Kibum's equally swaying form and they both laugh and
Taemin shakes his head at them, only mildly annoyed.
Fools, she murmurs under her breath when she sees Jonghyun and Jinki sitting hip to hip and playing the piano. She smiles when he sees Jonghyun kissing Jinki's cheek and Kibum coos from somewhere until Taemin smacks his head and laughs.
Fools, she thinks. They all try to live in the world that tries to spit them out.
Fools,she yells when the world finally spits them out. Fools, run! She yells through her bloodied teeth as she clutches at her ripped sides.
Fool, stays on her lips, unspoken, when she sees Kibum turning around and then his desperate grip clutching at her sides, her fading form.
Fools, at least let them escape.
*
The light summer breeze sneaks through broken windows into Jinki's apartment. It plays with the dusty curtains and flicks through the random sheets on the table. It lingers in the kitchen and then it jumps. There it is, the catalogue.
It is a little yellow, a little torn, a tiny coffee stain here and there, and then a sketch of two people, sitting on the beach, the water tickling their toes, their hands and dreams intertwined.
Let us run away, just the two of us.
~When and where?
Anytime, anywhere. Just the two of us, hand in hand against the world.