SSS 2012: For mywookness
For: mywookness
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: Finding More
Pairing: Taemin/Key (as Taeyeon/Gwiboon)
Rating: PG
Warnings: --
Authors’ Notes: My first time writing girl!taekey! It was kind of exciting :D Hopefully it turned out well. Happy holidays!
So this morning couldn’t have begun worse, Taeyeon is convinced of it. She’s not only running late for her first class, but she’s also forgotten her backpack in the bus she took earlier in her hurry to get to campus and she knows that everything she needs to get through the day is in there. There’s no time to go hunt it down either, knowing the first period is history and the guerrilla teacher from hell will have her head if she’ll show up late.
Chances are she’ll be gutted alive anyway, showing up with no notebook, no pens, no nothing, but that’s just a risk she’s going to have to take.
With a sigh Taeyeon slumps down in her seat and lets her head drop on the desk with a hollow thud. She likes to think it’s the desk that makes the sound and not her head, it’s not supposed to be quite that empty. Even if this morning has been straight from a nightmare. At least she’s fully clothed, even if she didn’t manage to brush her hair, instead of this being one of those dreams where you show up at school naked only to be laughed at.
Taeyeon’s somewhat incoherent thought process is cut out when there’s a light knock on the desk and she looks up, blinking against the bright lights on the ceiling. She doesn’t expect the soft smile she gains, and instinctively she’s smiling back since, seriously, this is Gwiboon right in front of her. How could she not smile at Gwiboon?
“Here,” Gwiboon hands something over and Taeyeon grabs it already before she registers what it is. Turns out he’s just been handed a pen - a sparkly pink one - and a few pages torn off a large notebook. She might look a little baffled, since the next thing Gwiboon does is laugh and grin at her. “You looked like you might need those. Besides, Ms. Park will throw you out of the window if you don’t have anything to take notes with.”
“You’re right,” Taeyeon chuckles, a little surprised and a lot pleased, looking down at the cute pattern of baby bears on the pencil she’s holding. The class is already starting and Gwiboon turns to take her own seat on the other side of the classroom, but thankfully Taeyeon catches herself in the nick of time to get out a proper thank you.
Her day just got a little bit better.
The soft smile is still stuck on Gwiboon’s face as she reaches her own seat, so lost in her own dreamy world that at first she doesn’t even realize she’s being talked to.
“Could you be even more obvious, sis?” Minho is grinning at her so smugly she kind of wants to plant one of her heels into his face, just to wipe that expression off. It’s not her fault her twin brother is absolutely infuriating when he gets like this. “Did you already plan the wedding?”
Gwiboon scowls. “Screw you, Minho.” She can’t keep up the act for very long though before she’s smiling again, her eyes sparkling as she latches herself on her brother’s arm, clinging on to his shoulder theatrically. “Did you see that cute smile~” she practically squeals. Granted, mostly because she knows it makes Minho squirm each time. Apparently sharing the same womb for nine months wasn’t enough to make him know how to deal with her.
“I see that you’re psychotic,” he grumbles. “Get off me. You’re cramping my style.”
Contrarily, Gwiboon places her chin on Minho’s shoulder and smiles, batting her eyelashes innocently. “That’s no way to speak to your big sister!”
“You’re like three minutes older, it doesn’t make you the - ”
Suddenly, someone is standing right in front of them, and when they look up it’s no other than Ms. Park, looking at them like she might just pull out a sword to behead them for disturbing her class. “Minho. Gwiboon. Would you like to recite the reading we had for today?”
Well. At least one of them did the reading.
Truth to be told, Gwiboon has been planning on making a move for ages now, and she’s not even really sure why she’s still holding back. She knows that Taeyeon likes her, and even if it isn’t in the same romantic way as she hopes, she knows she won’t be shot down cruelly. It’s not like Taeyeon to do something like that.
Maybe it’s been nice to live in her little world thinking that one day, one day it will happen and she will go up to Taeyeon and ask her out and it’ll be all sunshine and roses. One day when she’s over the irrational fear of being judged, of being shunned and looked down on because of what she is. If her brothers know of her crush it’s not like anyone else does, at least not with her explicit confirmation. Somehow it’s always been easier to keep it that way.
She has a feeling that it’s about to change though. She hopes it’s about to change.
It’s two days later in biology class when things change. For the better, Gwiboon hopes, but the jury’s still out on that and it’s making her slightly nervous. She doesn’t know what possessed Minho to raise his hand and volunteer - not only himself but the both of them - when Mr. Cho asked if anyone could help Taeyeon out for the upcoming biology test. She had missed classes, for various reasons, and was now in need of some additional tutoring.
Gwiboon had rewarded Minho with a sharp kick to his shin at the time, proceeding to let him know exactly what she thought right after the bell rang. Minho had simply smirked, in that smug way of his, and responded with a curt you’re welcome.
Which leads them here, several agonizing hours later. Gwiboon is trying on the ninth top in the past hour, while Minho lounges on her bed and flips through the textbook like he has nothing better to do.
“Is this better?” Gwiboon asks, turning sideways although her eyes are still glued on her reflection in the big mirror. She smoothes out the wrinkles on the flowery fabric, before looping her thumbs in her belt loops to tug the jeans a little lower.
Minho barely spares her a glance. “She’s supposed to study, not stare at your boobs.”
“My boobs are totally on topic!” Gwiboon announces. “They’re biology. So shut up and tell me what to wear!” She doesn’t really care if she comes off a little bit desperate. She is a little bit desperate, she’s the first one to admit that. She just wants to make a good impression, wants to look nice and… okay maybe there are other hidden motivators but she’s not going to get into those.
She’s about to get closer and kick her brother off the bed, but then Minho sits up with a loud sigh. He marches right past her to the closet and spends a moment digging around, just before pulling out a cute, white top with a lacy hem. He throws it at Gwiboon, not even looking at her. “This.”
Gwiboon grumbles as she pulls the flowery fabric off her form and gets into the white shirt instead. The next two minutes she stares at her reflection, trying to find out a non-humiliating way to thank Minho for the help. He’d been totally right. Now it doesn’t look like her breasts are on display, but the shirt hugs her form flatteringly and makes her look cute instead of slutty. Definitely an improvement.
As thanks, she kicks Minho off her bed anyway. “Get your ass downstairs. There’s dinner.”
Perfectly punctual, Taeyeon shows up exactly when they agreed to meet, looking a little nervous as she fidgets on their doorstep. Gwiboon had to elbow Minho to the side and practically leap over Jinki - her older brother - to be the first one to get to the door, but she’s sure it just gives her cheeks a charming glow as she smiles and welcomes Taeyeon in.
There is some studying, yes, but before long they end up sprawled on Gwiboon’s bed. They’re lying sideways, right next to one another, staring at the ceiling and the photos of celebrities Gwiboon had forced Minho to tape on it. Not her fault her brother is a giant, able to reach the ceiling much better than she could. “I never realized I had so many …animated people up there,” Gwiboon laughs as Taeyeon finds the seventh Disney character.
“You just like princesses,” Taeyeon chuckles, in that charming way that makes Gwiboon’s heart do a little flip in her chest. It’s like Taeyeon is trying to hold back not to laugh raucously, instead reverting to soft giggles, except for the occasionally escaping guffaws. It’s almost the polar opposite of Gwiboon, who laughs like a dude. She laughs more shamelessly and obnoxiously than either of her brothers.
Maybe that’s why Gwiboon likes Taeyeon so much. They’re full of contrasts, but compatible in the right ways. At least, from what Gwiboon knows. She’s not exactly best friends with Taeyeon, even if they’ve been in the same class forever.
“I do,” Gwiboon admits, snorting out a burst of laughter. “I always wanted to be pretty like them. And own a million sparkly dresses and high heels - oh god high heels, they are heaven - and meet a magical pr-” she bites down on her tongue as she doesn’t know if she should slip in a ‘princess’ or go for the traditional ‘prince’. Finally, she lets out the breath she’s been holding. “…person, to fall in love with.”
She rambles on a little longer, Taeyeon listening to every word. Afterwards they fall into a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other’s company wordlessly.
Gwiboon is already almost dozing off when Taeyeon speaks up. “You are.”
It’s so cryptic Gwiboon doesn’t know what it’s about. She frowns, squinting her eyes to look at Taeyeon, to maybe somehow be able to read her thoughts. In the end, she doesn’t even manage to ask. Instead Taeyeon chuckles, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. “You are pretty like them.”
Again, Gwiboon’s heart makes a little flip. She grins. “Yeah I know. I’m a princess.”
Taeyeon laughs. She seems to agree.
The tutoring sessions turn out to be more hang-out sessions, resulting in sleepovers and trying new makeup tips together, even complete makeovers whenever they get in the mood. The most glorious memory, they both agree, is when they managed to somehow bully Jinki into being a model for them. He’d looked both pitifully embarrassed and absolutely stunning in the heavy eyeliner and the wild hairdo they designed for him.
They have yet to convince Minho to let them dress him up. It’s a work in progress.
What Gwiboon enjoys the most is how they learn little things about each other. She now knows Taeyeon’s favourite brand of cereal, her preference of flat pillows over fluffy ones, the fact she owns only two pairs of shoes, the cartoons that always make her cry. It’s like an adventure for them both, this journey to growing from acquaintances to best friends.
Especially when they cross the line from best friends into something more.
It’s Taeyeon who kisses Gwiboon, in the middle of the night when they’ve already turned off the lights, huddled under three blankets to keep themselves warm. It’s a soft, quick peck of lips on lips, but it leaves Gwiboon breathless nevertheless.
The second kiss follows when Taeyeon tries to pull back and mumble a vague apology, only to have Gwiboon chase her lips and shamelessly shut her up.
Things are absolutely perfect. Even when Jinki starts giving them knowing smiles and Minho teases Gwiboon so ruthlessly she’s beginning to plot her brother’s untimely demise.
“Hey, Taeyeon!” Gwiboon’s voice is barely audible over the loud chatter in the corridor, and it takes her three tries to gain Taeyeon’s attention. Finally! She’s been running after the younger girl for ...way too long, okay. She hates running. But this is important enough for her to make an exception in her rules on things she-does-not-do.
Taeyeon is smiling as she slows down, waiting for Gwiboon to catch up with her. “You forgot your history book yesterday!” Gwiboon announces as she’s close enough, already digging into her bag to find the item in question. “You do know that Mr. Kim is going to rip you to shreds if you appear in class one more time without it!”
The exaggerated wording makes Taeyeon laugh, but she accepts the book with a grateful nod. “You do know Mr. Kim is like seventy-five years old and couldn’t hurt a fly?”
“Yes,” Gwiboon grimaces, but there’s a faint dust of pink on her cheeks that makes her look even more charming than usual, at least in Taeyeon’s opinion. “But he might do something terrible! Like, cry. You don’t want to make Mr. Kim cry!” She nods, trying to appear casual and not at all embarrassed, not in the slightest.
“True,” Taeyeon admits. She smiles at the book in her hands, fondly. It’s so typical of Gwiboon to do small things for her, little favours or other nice gestures. It makes Taeyeon kind of giddy, overwhelmed with the affection that floods through her.
Maybe that’s why she doesn’t consider it thoroughly, doesn’t even waste a single thought at her actions, before she’s leaning in to plant a quick kiss on Gwiboon’s inviting lips.
It’s like any kiss they’ve shared, one of the soft and chaste variety, up until the point when Gwiboon suddenly freezes and wrenches herself back. Her cheeks are blazing now, her eyes darting to the side nervously to see if anyone spotted them. She even takes a couple of steps back, putting distance between them even though she’s trying to appear subtle about it.
Taeyeon frowns. “What’s up?” She looks around, too, but all she sees is the normal bustle of the corridor, students hurrying to their next class or whatever it is they have to be doing next. There should be nothing to warrant such a reaction, unless… Unless.
Before Taeyeon can ask, Gwiboon flashes her a bright smile and a wave. “I gotta meet up with Minho! See you at lunch!” She spins around and practically runs off.
Taeyeon stands rooted on the spot until the chiming of the bell brings her back on earth.
It’s after the seventh similar incident that Taeyeon finally snaps.
They’re sitting in the cafeteria, leafing through the school paper and giggling like idiots. A particularly hilarious article has Taeyeon leaning closer and resting her head on Gwiboon’s shoulder, her nose in Gwiboon’s neck. She doesn’t even realize how rigid Gwiboon has gone before she inhales deep and gets pushed back, urgently.
Taeyeon frowns. “What’s wrong?” She pulls back to a respectable distance but tries to take Gwiboon’s hand in hers, only to be dodged again.
It’s clear that Gwiboon is uncomfortable, with the way she’s avoiding Taeyeon’s eyes and looks just about ready to bolt. The line of her shoulders is tense, her jaw working as she tries to play it off with nonchalance. “Nothing.” She smiles, but it’s only a quirk of her lips, quick and fake.
Somehow that makes Taeyeon mad. She’s so incredibly pissed off she doesn’t even try to control her voice, uncaring of how she’s drawing attention towards the two of them. “Nothing!? This is not nothing.”
Gwiboon startles, her eyes wide, and for a second she seems to be panicking. “No, Tae, I didn’t mean it like -”
“Then how did you mean it?” Taeyeon asks, her voice a low hiss. “How else can it be meant?”
“Look, I just,” Gwiboon shakes her head curtly, her eyes clear and pleading. “I’m sorry. I’m just not used to any of this.”
That sounds sensible, actually, and inwardly Taeyeon scolds herself for not realizing it earlier. Of course Gwiboon would have troubles being touchy, being comfortable and genuine around her in public. She’s never seen Gwiboon with anyone else at school, not like this. She’s always been surrounded by her bunch of friends, or hanging out with her twin brother’s group.
Still, there’s something in it that keeps bothering Taeyeon, makes her feel like she’s not really being told everything. “Gwiboon,” she begins, swallowing hard as she plays for time and looks for the words she wants to say. She’s not as delicate as people often mistake her for, and when she wants something she can be intensely stubborn and target-orientated. Only, she’s not sure she wants to press this particular matter. Not when she knows what’s at stake.
Finally, she looks up, measuring each syllable she speaks. “Are you ashamed of me?”
To put it lightly, Gwiboon looks scandalized. “Ashamed? Why would I be ashamed of you?” She sighs, tugging on the hem of her shirt, as if she can somehow find the needed focus there. “I mean it, I just need to sort things out for myself, okay? I need to… get used to all this.”
That’s something Taeyeon can live with. This time, when she reaches out and takes Gwiboon’s hand, she isn’t pushed away. Somehow that reassures her better than any of the words can.
The talk seems to help them both, at first. Taeyeon tries to be as considerate as she can, give Gwiboon the time and space she needs. They still spend endless hours together after school, away from the peer pressure created by their classmates, and it makes them grow closer and closer. Yet it always feels like there’s a great divide between the school life and the non-school life, like an invisible Berlin wall that keeps them separated.
Gwiboon notices how much it bothers Taeyeon, and it makes her feel indefinitely shitty about …well, everything. Still, whenever Taeyeon reaches out for her at school she flinches away, the back of her mind supplying chants and screams she’s certain will be directed at her if she lets herself go, allows herself enjoy being exactly the way she is.
She knows she’s pushing Taeyeon away, but she doesn’t know how to fix it.
That’s how she ends up sprawled facedown over the plush carpet in Jinki’s room. Minho is sitting on the floor, leaning against Jinki’s bed and occasionally poking Gwiboon’s hip with his toes. If she had more energy right now she’d try to break his ankle for it but right now, she’s more interested in the bottle of tequila between them. It’s only one fourth down, but she’s feeling a little bit tipsy in a pleasant sort of way.
Jinki is eyeing the bottle warily and both of the twins know that it will be stolen away from them before they can get even halfway drunk, resulting in them pretending to be appalled and annoyed about it but secretly thanking Jinki for being the way he is, as honest as honesty itself.
“So…” Jinki breaks the silence, slowly swinging to and fro in his computer chair. “What was the problem again?”
Thus far, they only managed to get some sort of a garbled explanation out of Gwiboon, including way too many curses and swears for a lady. She’d announced she was going to do something really dramatic, even if she didn’t yet know what it was. Thus far, the most dramatic thing she’d done was probably the faceplanting on the floor.
“She’s having girl trouble,” Minho scoffs, kicking Gwiboon again. With that he gains sharp, bright pink nails digging deep into the skin on his ankle. “Ouch, stop that!” He yanks his leg back, but the whole exchange is like something rehearsed, something they’ve been doing all their lives. There’s no real heat behind it.
“Yes,” Gwiboon sighs mournfully. She heaves herself upright, making a huge show of sitting up. “Actually I do. I am going to die alone and miserable!”
Minho snorts.
Jinki looks vaguely horrified. “Aren’t you being a little dramatic?”
“No!” Gwiboon rolls her eyes. “Taeyeon is mad at me. Again. Since I totally suck at this.” She’s frowning at her brothers, trying hard to muster up a decent glare. It sort of fails.
A silence falls between them, until Jinki speaks up. “This being?” he prompts, gently.
“This!” Gwiboon gestures wildly, as if she can convey her thoughts through made up sign language. “Relationship business!” That’s always how she is, if she has something on her mind. It begins with the dramatics, evolves into quiet sulking, until she decides to stubbornly tackle the problem and overcome it.
As predicted, she turns more silent, more subdued, her eyes directed down to the floor as she fidgets with her fingers. “She thinks I’m ashamed of her. Which I’m not! I just don’t… I don’t know how to prove it.” Which isn’t completely true, she does have some ideas, but she doesn’t really feel comfortable with any of them. “Especially since smooching in public still gives me the creeps.”
“It’s not like she expects you to sex her up in the middle of a street,” Minho points out, ever so helpfully. He’s only rewarded by a murderous glare from his sister, nothing he’s not used to by now.
“No, but seriously,” Jinki tries, smiling soothingly. He knows how the twins can get and he’s determined to stop the fight before it even begins. Even if he’s the most soft-spoken one of the bunch, it doesn’t mean he’s any less stubborn and target orientated than his siblings. “He’s right, that’s not what she expects. Start with something small. Baby steps!”
Gwiboon is still frowning but slowly it smoothes out, until she releases a deep sigh. “…I suppose you’re right.”
“And hey,” Jinki winks, his grin turning goofy. “I’d offer you I’ll beat her up if she breaks your heart but it goes against my firm beliefs of never hitting a girl!”
Gwiboon laughs. “You’re absolutely ridiculous.” Her tone is way too affectionate to manage even an edge of insulting.
It takes a couple of hours of distraction to finally set Gwiboon’s mind at ease, and help her come to a decision. Jinki makes them all hot chocolate and gets his ass handed to him in scrabble by the twins, as he keeps making up words of his own and insisting they’re definitely standard vocabulary.
It’s so common, so familiar for them, that afterwards Gwiboon feels she’s finally ready to confront the world.
“So,” Taeyeon begins in a slow drawl. “Do you now want to tell me why we’re here?” She’s curious, seeing as Gwiboon appeared in her house an hour ago, announcing that they were going out so Taeyeon had better wear something cute and fitting. Taeyeon isn’t sure if what she chose is cute, but it’s her favourite top and shorts. Plus, Gwiboon certainly makes up to the cuteness factor with her pink summer dress.
Here is the cheap diner almost next to their school. It’s popular among the students because the prices are actually affordable, even for low-budget student lunches. The place is always full, always loud and bustling with customers. Somehow they managed to catch themselves a booth, though, and Taeyeon suspects that Gwiboon probably traumatized some poor soul to scare them off the table.
Whatever it is, they’re sitting on the opposite sides of the table, and Gwiboon keeps kicking Taeyeon lightly underneath the table, as if to gain her attention. Easily, Taeyeon catches Gwiboon’s ankles between her own, giving her a victorious grin. “Well?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Gwiboon beams, not even trying to break her legs free. “This is a date!”
“A… date?” Taeyeon is fairly certain her expression is somewhat comical as she tilts her head, her eyes wide. “Like, a date date?”
“C’mon, Tae.” Gwiboon rolls her eyes dramatically. And in the next second steals Taeyeon’s milkshake to take a long sip of it. “We’ve been together for ages now. Isn’t it about time we have an actual date!” The way she says it sounds a little rehearsed, but her smile is genuine and there’s no way to deny her anything.
“So,” Taeyeon drawls. There’s a pull in the corner of her mouth, and soon she’s mirroring the bright smile directed at her. “Does this mean that afterwards you’ll walk me home and kiss me goodnight?”
Gwiboon laughs, finally releasing Taeyeon’s milkshake back. “No. Hello? I’m the one wearing the dress here. Hence you will walk me home, be a perfect gentleman, and kiss me goodnight on my porch.”
Instantly they’re both giggling, unable to stop the almost hysterical laughter. Taeyeon takes revenge by confiscating Gwiboon’s ice cream portion, and doesn’t release her ankles for the rest of their dinner (that started with dessert and ends in hellishly unhealthy burgers and large fries).
They’re both willing to call it a success.
After their high-class romantic dinner they end up walking back home through the park. It’s hot, the kind of unavoidable heat that glues their clothes on their skin and makes it feel like winter would be a welcome change about right now. The wind is more suffocating than it’s refreshing, but they hardly notice, bounce in their steps as they enjoy the moment.
They get more ice cream from the small parlour, while Gwiboon tries to convince Taeyeon of the merits of having a gigantic, amazing birthday party instead of something more low-profile. However, Taeyeon is adamant, refuses to accept any of the brilliant reasons she’s presented with.
Finally, Gwiboon resorts to her last hope, the final argument. “But c’mon! It’s your birthday,” she frowns, not even ashamed of the way her voice goes high to almost a whine.
“I know,” Taeyeon admits, easily, not swayed in the slightest. “But I don’t need huge parties! I’d rather just spend it with you guys.”
“You guys?” Gwiboon asks, clearly disbelieving.
Taeyeon nods, smiling at the salesman as she receives their ice cream cones, and hands one of them to Gwiboon. “Yeah. Jinki and Minho and you.” It’s really hard to miss the way she puts slight emphasis on the last word, underlining it in the way her voice goes soft.
It makes Gwiboon feel tingly and giddy all over, but she tries to appear nonchalant as she fakes her attention is on the cone of pistachio. “Are you seriously saying you’d rather hang out with my idiot brothers than have a supreme party?”
“Yes.” The answer comes instantly, with no hesitation at all. What Taeyeon wants, Taeyeon gets. If Gwiboon is stubborn, she knows she’s met her match. Somehow, that’s what makes everything even better.
“Fine.” Nonchalantly, Gwiboon hooks her arm with Taeyeon’s, a small gesture that still means much more for them. It shows she’s working on her promises, tries to get past her issues. “Your birthday. Just know that when it’s my turn to celebrate I won’t settle for anything mediocre!”
Taeyeon laughs.
(epilogue, aka two months later, on Gwiboon’s birthday)
“Here,” Taeyeon smiles, open and genuine, as she hands over a small blue box. It’s wrapped in pink and glittery ribbon, obviously nothing that came with the purchase but was added later instead.
That, among many other reasons, gets Gwiboon almost unbearably excited and bouncy. “What is it?” She asks, already tugging on the end of the ribbon to pull it free of the knot. She’s never really careful with wrappings, finding more joy in tearing the paper apart to get to the treasure inside.
“Open it!” Taeyeon rolls her eyes, obviously amused, as this is nothing new to her. Obediently, Gwiboon does.
“Oh my god!” Yes, there are definite tears in Gwiboon’s eyes as she stares at the present - a delicate pendant Taeyeon spent way too long choosing, with the help of an impatient Minho. “It’s beautiful.”
Taeyeon opens her mouth to reply but then there are arms around her neck, a warm body against her own, and Gwiboon’s lips on hers. It’s sweet, soft, and it’s over way too soon.
It’s also in public.
When Gwiboon pulls back she’s blushing, a nervous glimmer in her eyes as she seems to realize what she did. But she reaches out, then, lacing their fingers together.
Taeyeon smiles so hard it hurts.
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: Finding More
Pairing: Taemin/Key (as Taeyeon/Gwiboon)
Rating: PG
Warnings: --
Authors’ Notes: My first time writing girl!taekey! It was kind of exciting :D Hopefully it turned out well. Happy holidays!
So this morning couldn’t have begun worse, Taeyeon is convinced of it. She’s not only running late for her first class, but she’s also forgotten her backpack in the bus she took earlier in her hurry to get to campus and she knows that everything she needs to get through the day is in there. There’s no time to go hunt it down either, knowing the first period is history and the guerrilla teacher from hell will have her head if she’ll show up late.
Chances are she’ll be gutted alive anyway, showing up with no notebook, no pens, no nothing, but that’s just a risk she’s going to have to take.
With a sigh Taeyeon slumps down in her seat and lets her head drop on the desk with a hollow thud. She likes to think it’s the desk that makes the sound and not her head, it’s not supposed to be quite that empty. Even if this morning has been straight from a nightmare. At least she’s fully clothed, even if she didn’t manage to brush her hair, instead of this being one of those dreams where you show up at school naked only to be laughed at.
Taeyeon’s somewhat incoherent thought process is cut out when there’s a light knock on the desk and she looks up, blinking against the bright lights on the ceiling. She doesn’t expect the soft smile she gains, and instinctively she’s smiling back since, seriously, this is Gwiboon right in front of her. How could she not smile at Gwiboon?
“Here,” Gwiboon hands something over and Taeyeon grabs it already before she registers what it is. Turns out he’s just been handed a pen - a sparkly pink one - and a few pages torn off a large notebook. She might look a little baffled, since the next thing Gwiboon does is laugh and grin at her. “You looked like you might need those. Besides, Ms. Park will throw you out of the window if you don’t have anything to take notes with.”
“You’re right,” Taeyeon chuckles, a little surprised and a lot pleased, looking down at the cute pattern of baby bears on the pencil she’s holding. The class is already starting and Gwiboon turns to take her own seat on the other side of the classroom, but thankfully Taeyeon catches herself in the nick of time to get out a proper thank you.
Her day just got a little bit better.
The soft smile is still stuck on Gwiboon’s face as she reaches her own seat, so lost in her own dreamy world that at first she doesn’t even realize she’s being talked to.
“Could you be even more obvious, sis?” Minho is grinning at her so smugly she kind of wants to plant one of her heels into his face, just to wipe that expression off. It’s not her fault her twin brother is absolutely infuriating when he gets like this. “Did you already plan the wedding?”
Gwiboon scowls. “Screw you, Minho.” She can’t keep up the act for very long though before she’s smiling again, her eyes sparkling as she latches herself on her brother’s arm, clinging on to his shoulder theatrically. “Did you see that cute smile~” she practically squeals. Granted, mostly because she knows it makes Minho squirm each time. Apparently sharing the same womb for nine months wasn’t enough to make him know how to deal with her.
“I see that you’re psychotic,” he grumbles. “Get off me. You’re cramping my style.”
Contrarily, Gwiboon places her chin on Minho’s shoulder and smiles, batting her eyelashes innocently. “That’s no way to speak to your big sister!”
“You’re like three minutes older, it doesn’t make you the - ”
Suddenly, someone is standing right in front of them, and when they look up it’s no other than Ms. Park, looking at them like she might just pull out a sword to behead them for disturbing her class. “Minho. Gwiboon. Would you like to recite the reading we had for today?”
Well. At least one of them did the reading.
Truth to be told, Gwiboon has been planning on making a move for ages now, and she’s not even really sure why she’s still holding back. She knows that Taeyeon likes her, and even if it isn’t in the same romantic way as she hopes, she knows she won’t be shot down cruelly. It’s not like Taeyeon to do something like that.
Maybe it’s been nice to live in her little world thinking that one day, one day it will happen and she will go up to Taeyeon and ask her out and it’ll be all sunshine and roses. One day when she’s over the irrational fear of being judged, of being shunned and looked down on because of what she is. If her brothers know of her crush it’s not like anyone else does, at least not with her explicit confirmation. Somehow it’s always been easier to keep it that way.
She has a feeling that it’s about to change though. She hopes it’s about to change.
It’s two days later in biology class when things change. For the better, Gwiboon hopes, but the jury’s still out on that and it’s making her slightly nervous. She doesn’t know what possessed Minho to raise his hand and volunteer - not only himself but the both of them - when Mr. Cho asked if anyone could help Taeyeon out for the upcoming biology test. She had missed classes, for various reasons, and was now in need of some additional tutoring.
Gwiboon had rewarded Minho with a sharp kick to his shin at the time, proceeding to let him know exactly what she thought right after the bell rang. Minho had simply smirked, in that smug way of his, and responded with a curt you’re welcome.
Which leads them here, several agonizing hours later. Gwiboon is trying on the ninth top in the past hour, while Minho lounges on her bed and flips through the textbook like he has nothing better to do.
“Is this better?” Gwiboon asks, turning sideways although her eyes are still glued on her reflection in the big mirror. She smoothes out the wrinkles on the flowery fabric, before looping her thumbs in her belt loops to tug the jeans a little lower.
Minho barely spares her a glance. “She’s supposed to study, not stare at your boobs.”
“My boobs are totally on topic!” Gwiboon announces. “They’re biology. So shut up and tell me what to wear!” She doesn’t really care if she comes off a little bit desperate. She is a little bit desperate, she’s the first one to admit that. She just wants to make a good impression, wants to look nice and… okay maybe there are other hidden motivators but she’s not going to get into those.
She’s about to get closer and kick her brother off the bed, but then Minho sits up with a loud sigh. He marches right past her to the closet and spends a moment digging around, just before pulling out a cute, white top with a lacy hem. He throws it at Gwiboon, not even looking at her. “This.”
Gwiboon grumbles as she pulls the flowery fabric off her form and gets into the white shirt instead. The next two minutes she stares at her reflection, trying to find out a non-humiliating way to thank Minho for the help. He’d been totally right. Now it doesn’t look like her breasts are on display, but the shirt hugs her form flatteringly and makes her look cute instead of slutty. Definitely an improvement.
As thanks, she kicks Minho off her bed anyway. “Get your ass downstairs. There’s dinner.”
Perfectly punctual, Taeyeon shows up exactly when they agreed to meet, looking a little nervous as she fidgets on their doorstep. Gwiboon had to elbow Minho to the side and practically leap over Jinki - her older brother - to be the first one to get to the door, but she’s sure it just gives her cheeks a charming glow as she smiles and welcomes Taeyeon in.
There is some studying, yes, but before long they end up sprawled on Gwiboon’s bed. They’re lying sideways, right next to one another, staring at the ceiling and the photos of celebrities Gwiboon had forced Minho to tape on it. Not her fault her brother is a giant, able to reach the ceiling much better than she could. “I never realized I had so many …animated people up there,” Gwiboon laughs as Taeyeon finds the seventh Disney character.
“You just like princesses,” Taeyeon chuckles, in that charming way that makes Gwiboon’s heart do a little flip in her chest. It’s like Taeyeon is trying to hold back not to laugh raucously, instead reverting to soft giggles, except for the occasionally escaping guffaws. It’s almost the polar opposite of Gwiboon, who laughs like a dude. She laughs more shamelessly and obnoxiously than either of her brothers.
Maybe that’s why Gwiboon likes Taeyeon so much. They’re full of contrasts, but compatible in the right ways. At least, from what Gwiboon knows. She’s not exactly best friends with Taeyeon, even if they’ve been in the same class forever.
“I do,” Gwiboon admits, snorting out a burst of laughter. “I always wanted to be pretty like them. And own a million sparkly dresses and high heels - oh god high heels, they are heaven - and meet a magical pr-” she bites down on her tongue as she doesn’t know if she should slip in a ‘princess’ or go for the traditional ‘prince’. Finally, she lets out the breath she’s been holding. “…person, to fall in love with.”
She rambles on a little longer, Taeyeon listening to every word. Afterwards they fall into a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other’s company wordlessly.
Gwiboon is already almost dozing off when Taeyeon speaks up. “You are.”
It’s so cryptic Gwiboon doesn’t know what it’s about. She frowns, squinting her eyes to look at Taeyeon, to maybe somehow be able to read her thoughts. In the end, she doesn’t even manage to ask. Instead Taeyeon chuckles, a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. “You are pretty like them.”
Again, Gwiboon’s heart makes a little flip. She grins. “Yeah I know. I’m a princess.”
Taeyeon laughs. She seems to agree.
The tutoring sessions turn out to be more hang-out sessions, resulting in sleepovers and trying new makeup tips together, even complete makeovers whenever they get in the mood. The most glorious memory, they both agree, is when they managed to somehow bully Jinki into being a model for them. He’d looked both pitifully embarrassed and absolutely stunning in the heavy eyeliner and the wild hairdo they designed for him.
They have yet to convince Minho to let them dress him up. It’s a work in progress.
What Gwiboon enjoys the most is how they learn little things about each other. She now knows Taeyeon’s favourite brand of cereal, her preference of flat pillows over fluffy ones, the fact she owns only two pairs of shoes, the cartoons that always make her cry. It’s like an adventure for them both, this journey to growing from acquaintances to best friends.
Especially when they cross the line from best friends into something more.
It’s Taeyeon who kisses Gwiboon, in the middle of the night when they’ve already turned off the lights, huddled under three blankets to keep themselves warm. It’s a soft, quick peck of lips on lips, but it leaves Gwiboon breathless nevertheless.
The second kiss follows when Taeyeon tries to pull back and mumble a vague apology, only to have Gwiboon chase her lips and shamelessly shut her up.
Things are absolutely perfect. Even when Jinki starts giving them knowing smiles and Minho teases Gwiboon so ruthlessly she’s beginning to plot her brother’s untimely demise.
“Hey, Taeyeon!” Gwiboon’s voice is barely audible over the loud chatter in the corridor, and it takes her three tries to gain Taeyeon’s attention. Finally! She’s been running after the younger girl for ...way too long, okay. She hates running. But this is important enough for her to make an exception in her rules on things she-does-not-do.
Taeyeon is smiling as she slows down, waiting for Gwiboon to catch up with her. “You forgot your history book yesterday!” Gwiboon announces as she’s close enough, already digging into her bag to find the item in question. “You do know that Mr. Kim is going to rip you to shreds if you appear in class one more time without it!”
The exaggerated wording makes Taeyeon laugh, but she accepts the book with a grateful nod. “You do know Mr. Kim is like seventy-five years old and couldn’t hurt a fly?”
“Yes,” Gwiboon grimaces, but there’s a faint dust of pink on her cheeks that makes her look even more charming than usual, at least in Taeyeon’s opinion. “But he might do something terrible! Like, cry. You don’t want to make Mr. Kim cry!” She nods, trying to appear casual and not at all embarrassed, not in the slightest.
“True,” Taeyeon admits. She smiles at the book in her hands, fondly. It’s so typical of Gwiboon to do small things for her, little favours or other nice gestures. It makes Taeyeon kind of giddy, overwhelmed with the affection that floods through her.
Maybe that’s why she doesn’t consider it thoroughly, doesn’t even waste a single thought at her actions, before she’s leaning in to plant a quick kiss on Gwiboon’s inviting lips.
It’s like any kiss they’ve shared, one of the soft and chaste variety, up until the point when Gwiboon suddenly freezes and wrenches herself back. Her cheeks are blazing now, her eyes darting to the side nervously to see if anyone spotted them. She even takes a couple of steps back, putting distance between them even though she’s trying to appear subtle about it.
Taeyeon frowns. “What’s up?” She looks around, too, but all she sees is the normal bustle of the corridor, students hurrying to their next class or whatever it is they have to be doing next. There should be nothing to warrant such a reaction, unless… Unless.
Before Taeyeon can ask, Gwiboon flashes her a bright smile and a wave. “I gotta meet up with Minho! See you at lunch!” She spins around and practically runs off.
Taeyeon stands rooted on the spot until the chiming of the bell brings her back on earth.
It’s after the seventh similar incident that Taeyeon finally snaps.
They’re sitting in the cafeteria, leafing through the school paper and giggling like idiots. A particularly hilarious article has Taeyeon leaning closer and resting her head on Gwiboon’s shoulder, her nose in Gwiboon’s neck. She doesn’t even realize how rigid Gwiboon has gone before she inhales deep and gets pushed back, urgently.
Taeyeon frowns. “What’s wrong?” She pulls back to a respectable distance but tries to take Gwiboon’s hand in hers, only to be dodged again.
It’s clear that Gwiboon is uncomfortable, with the way she’s avoiding Taeyeon’s eyes and looks just about ready to bolt. The line of her shoulders is tense, her jaw working as she tries to play it off with nonchalance. “Nothing.” She smiles, but it’s only a quirk of her lips, quick and fake.
Somehow that makes Taeyeon mad. She’s so incredibly pissed off she doesn’t even try to control her voice, uncaring of how she’s drawing attention towards the two of them. “Nothing!? This is not nothing.”
Gwiboon startles, her eyes wide, and for a second she seems to be panicking. “No, Tae, I didn’t mean it like -”
“Then how did you mean it?” Taeyeon asks, her voice a low hiss. “How else can it be meant?”
“Look, I just,” Gwiboon shakes her head curtly, her eyes clear and pleading. “I’m sorry. I’m just not used to any of this.”
That sounds sensible, actually, and inwardly Taeyeon scolds herself for not realizing it earlier. Of course Gwiboon would have troubles being touchy, being comfortable and genuine around her in public. She’s never seen Gwiboon with anyone else at school, not like this. She’s always been surrounded by her bunch of friends, or hanging out with her twin brother’s group.
Still, there’s something in it that keeps bothering Taeyeon, makes her feel like she’s not really being told everything. “Gwiboon,” she begins, swallowing hard as she plays for time and looks for the words she wants to say. She’s not as delicate as people often mistake her for, and when she wants something she can be intensely stubborn and target-orientated. Only, she’s not sure she wants to press this particular matter. Not when she knows what’s at stake.
Finally, she looks up, measuring each syllable she speaks. “Are you ashamed of me?”
To put it lightly, Gwiboon looks scandalized. “Ashamed? Why would I be ashamed of you?” She sighs, tugging on the hem of her shirt, as if she can somehow find the needed focus there. “I mean it, I just need to sort things out for myself, okay? I need to… get used to all this.”
That’s something Taeyeon can live with. This time, when she reaches out and takes Gwiboon’s hand, she isn’t pushed away. Somehow that reassures her better than any of the words can.
The talk seems to help them both, at first. Taeyeon tries to be as considerate as she can, give Gwiboon the time and space she needs. They still spend endless hours together after school, away from the peer pressure created by their classmates, and it makes them grow closer and closer. Yet it always feels like there’s a great divide between the school life and the non-school life, like an invisible Berlin wall that keeps them separated.
Gwiboon notices how much it bothers Taeyeon, and it makes her feel indefinitely shitty about …well, everything. Still, whenever Taeyeon reaches out for her at school she flinches away, the back of her mind supplying chants and screams she’s certain will be directed at her if she lets herself go, allows herself enjoy being exactly the way she is.
She knows she’s pushing Taeyeon away, but she doesn’t know how to fix it.
That’s how she ends up sprawled facedown over the plush carpet in Jinki’s room. Minho is sitting on the floor, leaning against Jinki’s bed and occasionally poking Gwiboon’s hip with his toes. If she had more energy right now she’d try to break his ankle for it but right now, she’s more interested in the bottle of tequila between them. It’s only one fourth down, but she’s feeling a little bit tipsy in a pleasant sort of way.
Jinki is eyeing the bottle warily and both of the twins know that it will be stolen away from them before they can get even halfway drunk, resulting in them pretending to be appalled and annoyed about it but secretly thanking Jinki for being the way he is, as honest as honesty itself.
“So…” Jinki breaks the silence, slowly swinging to and fro in his computer chair. “What was the problem again?”
Thus far, they only managed to get some sort of a garbled explanation out of Gwiboon, including way too many curses and swears for a lady. She’d announced she was going to do something really dramatic, even if she didn’t yet know what it was. Thus far, the most dramatic thing she’d done was probably the faceplanting on the floor.
“She’s having girl trouble,” Minho scoffs, kicking Gwiboon again. With that he gains sharp, bright pink nails digging deep into the skin on his ankle. “Ouch, stop that!” He yanks his leg back, but the whole exchange is like something rehearsed, something they’ve been doing all their lives. There’s no real heat behind it.
“Yes,” Gwiboon sighs mournfully. She heaves herself upright, making a huge show of sitting up. “Actually I do. I am going to die alone and miserable!”
Minho snorts.
Jinki looks vaguely horrified. “Aren’t you being a little dramatic?”
“No!” Gwiboon rolls her eyes. “Taeyeon is mad at me. Again. Since I totally suck at this.” She’s frowning at her brothers, trying hard to muster up a decent glare. It sort of fails.
A silence falls between them, until Jinki speaks up. “This being?” he prompts, gently.
“This!” Gwiboon gestures wildly, as if she can convey her thoughts through made up sign language. “Relationship business!” That’s always how she is, if she has something on her mind. It begins with the dramatics, evolves into quiet sulking, until she decides to stubbornly tackle the problem and overcome it.
As predicted, she turns more silent, more subdued, her eyes directed down to the floor as she fidgets with her fingers. “She thinks I’m ashamed of her. Which I’m not! I just don’t… I don’t know how to prove it.” Which isn’t completely true, she does have some ideas, but she doesn’t really feel comfortable with any of them. “Especially since smooching in public still gives me the creeps.”
“It’s not like she expects you to sex her up in the middle of a street,” Minho points out, ever so helpfully. He’s only rewarded by a murderous glare from his sister, nothing he’s not used to by now.
“No, but seriously,” Jinki tries, smiling soothingly. He knows how the twins can get and he’s determined to stop the fight before it even begins. Even if he’s the most soft-spoken one of the bunch, it doesn’t mean he’s any less stubborn and target orientated than his siblings. “He’s right, that’s not what she expects. Start with something small. Baby steps!”
Gwiboon is still frowning but slowly it smoothes out, until she releases a deep sigh. “…I suppose you’re right.”
“And hey,” Jinki winks, his grin turning goofy. “I’d offer you I’ll beat her up if she breaks your heart but it goes against my firm beliefs of never hitting a girl!”
Gwiboon laughs. “You’re absolutely ridiculous.” Her tone is way too affectionate to manage even an edge of insulting.
It takes a couple of hours of distraction to finally set Gwiboon’s mind at ease, and help her come to a decision. Jinki makes them all hot chocolate and gets his ass handed to him in scrabble by the twins, as he keeps making up words of his own and insisting they’re definitely standard vocabulary.
It’s so common, so familiar for them, that afterwards Gwiboon feels she’s finally ready to confront the world.
“So,” Taeyeon begins in a slow drawl. “Do you now want to tell me why we’re here?” She’s curious, seeing as Gwiboon appeared in her house an hour ago, announcing that they were going out so Taeyeon had better wear something cute and fitting. Taeyeon isn’t sure if what she chose is cute, but it’s her favourite top and shorts. Plus, Gwiboon certainly makes up to the cuteness factor with her pink summer dress.
Here is the cheap diner almost next to their school. It’s popular among the students because the prices are actually affordable, even for low-budget student lunches. The place is always full, always loud and bustling with customers. Somehow they managed to catch themselves a booth, though, and Taeyeon suspects that Gwiboon probably traumatized some poor soul to scare them off the table.
Whatever it is, they’re sitting on the opposite sides of the table, and Gwiboon keeps kicking Taeyeon lightly underneath the table, as if to gain her attention. Easily, Taeyeon catches Gwiboon’s ankles between her own, giving her a victorious grin. “Well?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Gwiboon beams, not even trying to break her legs free. “This is a date!”
“A… date?” Taeyeon is fairly certain her expression is somewhat comical as she tilts her head, her eyes wide. “Like, a date date?”
“C’mon, Tae.” Gwiboon rolls her eyes dramatically. And in the next second steals Taeyeon’s milkshake to take a long sip of it. “We’ve been together for ages now. Isn’t it about time we have an actual date!” The way she says it sounds a little rehearsed, but her smile is genuine and there’s no way to deny her anything.
“So,” Taeyeon drawls. There’s a pull in the corner of her mouth, and soon she’s mirroring the bright smile directed at her. “Does this mean that afterwards you’ll walk me home and kiss me goodnight?”
Gwiboon laughs, finally releasing Taeyeon’s milkshake back. “No. Hello? I’m the one wearing the dress here. Hence you will walk me home, be a perfect gentleman, and kiss me goodnight on my porch.”
Instantly they’re both giggling, unable to stop the almost hysterical laughter. Taeyeon takes revenge by confiscating Gwiboon’s ice cream portion, and doesn’t release her ankles for the rest of their dinner (that started with dessert and ends in hellishly unhealthy burgers and large fries).
They’re both willing to call it a success.
After their high-class romantic dinner they end up walking back home through the park. It’s hot, the kind of unavoidable heat that glues their clothes on their skin and makes it feel like winter would be a welcome change about right now. The wind is more suffocating than it’s refreshing, but they hardly notice, bounce in their steps as they enjoy the moment.
They get more ice cream from the small parlour, while Gwiboon tries to convince Taeyeon of the merits of having a gigantic, amazing birthday party instead of something more low-profile. However, Taeyeon is adamant, refuses to accept any of the brilliant reasons she’s presented with.
Finally, Gwiboon resorts to her last hope, the final argument. “But c’mon! It’s your birthday,” she frowns, not even ashamed of the way her voice goes high to almost a whine.
“I know,” Taeyeon admits, easily, not swayed in the slightest. “But I don’t need huge parties! I’d rather just spend it with you guys.”
“You guys?” Gwiboon asks, clearly disbelieving.
Taeyeon nods, smiling at the salesman as she receives their ice cream cones, and hands one of them to Gwiboon. “Yeah. Jinki and Minho and you.” It’s really hard to miss the way she puts slight emphasis on the last word, underlining it in the way her voice goes soft.
It makes Gwiboon feel tingly and giddy all over, but she tries to appear nonchalant as she fakes her attention is on the cone of pistachio. “Are you seriously saying you’d rather hang out with my idiot brothers than have a supreme party?”
“Yes.” The answer comes instantly, with no hesitation at all. What Taeyeon wants, Taeyeon gets. If Gwiboon is stubborn, she knows she’s met her match. Somehow, that’s what makes everything even better.
“Fine.” Nonchalantly, Gwiboon hooks her arm with Taeyeon’s, a small gesture that still means much more for them. It shows she’s working on her promises, tries to get past her issues. “Your birthday. Just know that when it’s my turn to celebrate I won’t settle for anything mediocre!”
Taeyeon laughs.
(epilogue, aka two months later, on Gwiboon’s birthday)
“Here,” Taeyeon smiles, open and genuine, as she hands over a small blue box. It’s wrapped in pink and glittery ribbon, obviously nothing that came with the purchase but was added later instead.
That, among many other reasons, gets Gwiboon almost unbearably excited and bouncy. “What is it?” She asks, already tugging on the end of the ribbon to pull it free of the knot. She’s never really careful with wrappings, finding more joy in tearing the paper apart to get to the treasure inside.
“Open it!” Taeyeon rolls her eyes, obviously amused, as this is nothing new to her. Obediently, Gwiboon does.
“Oh my god!” Yes, there are definite tears in Gwiboon’s eyes as she stares at the present - a delicate pendant Taeyeon spent way too long choosing, with the help of an impatient Minho. “It’s beautiful.”
Taeyeon opens her mouth to reply but then there are arms around her neck, a warm body against her own, and Gwiboon’s lips on hers. It’s sweet, soft, and it’s over way too soon.
It’s also in public.
When Gwiboon pulls back she’s blushing, a nervous glimmer in her eyes as she seems to realize what she did. But she reaches out, then, lacing their fingers together.
Taeyeon smiles so hard it hurts.