SSS 2012: For snazzy_bop
For: snazzy_bop
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: Second Chances are hard to come by
Pairing: Jonghyun/Key
Rating: G
Authors’ Notes: I honestly apologize before hand if this wasn’t what you expected from me. I have been a bit rusty and my writing isn’t at it’s finest at this point. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy my fic^^
Every relationship goes through certain stages.
Thing would start off when two people meet, and then get to know each other. If things go well, they start off as good friends. After some time has passed, they could develop feelings for one another. That’s where the chase begins.
That’s where they fall in love with each other. That’s where the magic begins.
And when that’s over, the honeymoon stage rolls along. They are now officially a couple and are free to show affection for each other.
But the stage that comes after this, is the most important one out of all the stages. When a couple reaches the comfortable stage, it’s ultimately up to the couple on what to do that can either make or break their relationship.
We all tend to hope for the best. But we can’t avoid something that is inevitable.
That’s why people say love is such a fragile thing. There is always a chance that things can change in an instant. The circumstances that were present at the time may have helped things fall into place with your significant other, but it’s what we do with those circumstances that keep the relationship strong.
And looking back at his past, Ki Bum wishes his relationship with Jonghyun could have gone better. If he had a time machine, he’d go back in time and fix everything.
His relationship with Jonghyun went a little different than how most relationships go.
Stage 1: Meeting
It's a moment of impact. A couple starts out as strangers. By chance they meet.
Ki Bum still remembers the first time he met Jonghyun.
It was his 5th birthday and his grandmother had invited their new next door neighbor to his party. Ki Bum wasn’t much of a talker as he was now when he was litte. He was actually quite the silent person. Jonghyun on the other hand was a rowdy, mischievous boy . Ki Bum never expected to be friends with. He had spent most of the birthday party running away from him.
But they ended up becoming really good friends by the end of it, after Ki Bum had called a truce between them when Jonghyun had tripped and scraped his knee in a game of tag.
“Your name is Jonghyun right?”
“Yea, my name is Jonghyun. Kim Jonghyun.”
“Let’s be good friends, araso?” Ki Bum said innocently, holding out his pinky finger to Jonghyun.
“Araso. I will be Ki Bummie’s friend.” He replied with a cheeky smile.
Stage 2: The Chase
This stage in Jonghyun and Key’s relationship was the longest.
This is the stage where you try your best to get to know the other person, doing almost everything with one another. But for Jonghyun and Ki Bum, it was the stage where their budding friendship bloomed into a romantic relationship both of them never expected to happen.
Growing up the two had become inseparable. The next few years after they had met consisted of frequent play dates and hanging out at each other’s houses. They had plowed through the awkward adventure of adolescence and grew up to handsome, young men.
By the time high school rolled in, they were more than inseparable. The closeness between them was undeniable. They were like brothers.
One could mistake their close friendship as the two having feelings for each other. But that wasn’t entirely untrue. At this stage of the relationship, their feelings towards each other were those of friendship.
------
Ki Bum doesn’t know when or where it happened, but some time between sophomore and junior year. He had developed romantic feelings for his best friend.
“Halmoni, is it...weird that I...have developed romantic feelings for Jonghyun?” he asked in an uncertain tone.
“Ani. Ki Bummie, I had figured that out ages ago. I was just waiting for you to discover that for yourself.”
“Are you mad, halmoni?’
“Halmoni isn’t mad Ki Bummie. I just hope that you don’t get hurt from what you’re feeling. Halmoni wants Ki Bummie to be happy.”
This is why Ki Bum loves his grandmother. She doesn’t judge him-that much. But he loved her nonetheless.
---
Jonghyun on the other hand, was having a fight with his inner self when he had realized that he had developed feelings for Ki Bum. Growing up, he had always heard that liking a guy when he was a guy himself was unnatural, sick and twisted.
He would ask himself if he had really liked Ki Bum.
But Ki Bum was the most important person in his life. He didn’t want to ruin their friendship just because he was confused.
Some people say that the best things in the world are those in which you are willing to risk a whole lot, in order to obtain.
Jonghyun kept on asking himself if he was willing to risk it.
And he did. They both did.
Ki Bum had confessed one night while they were doing their homework, and Jonghyun had felt this surge of happiness run through his body when he pressed his lips onto Ki Bum’s.
“It was the greatest event in my life." They would both say.
Stage 3: The Honeymoon
"Oh, I'm so in love with you. It's insane." Ki Bum would say as he wraps his arms around Jonghyun’s waist and hugs him tightly.
This was the stage where they were officially a couple. This was supposed to be the time they could do everything they wanted to do as a couple. But their transition from being just friends to being a couple wasn’t really a big step up for them. They were still the best of friends, only now, they were dating.
They would flirt. Jonghyun would send daily morning and goodnight texts every time you wake up or go to sleep. He would write corny messages and songs and pick up lines just to make sure that there is a smile on Ki Bum’s face everyday.
And as corny as Jonghyun’s pick up lines were, Ki Bum loved every single one of them.
But they weren’t exactly allowed to show affection to one another at school, or in public. The only place they could was when they were at Ki Bum’s house. And they enjoyed it while they could.
Out of all the lines Jonghyun had used on him. The one he had told him when they went on their anniversary date was his favorite.
“You’re my unicorn. Do you know that?” Jonghyun says out of the blue one day.
“Your unicorn?” Ki Bum doesn’t exactly know what Jonghyun had meant by that.
“You know, you’re the guy that I always dreamed about existing. You, Kim Ki Bum are too perfect. I am happier than I thought I could possibly be.”
Jonghyun beamed that idiotic smile of his that Ki Bum loved so much as he leaned onto the latter’s shoulder and laced his hands with Ki Bum’s.
They were happy.
“I vow to love you forever and ever.” Jonghyun and Ki Bum say in unison, as they renew their “pinky promise” from years ago.
Life couldn’t possibly get any better than this.
Stage 4: Comfortable
Now, it wasn’t as if Ki Bum and Jonghyun were already comfortable with each other.
But at some point, the affection towards at each other-had stopped.
When Minho, Ki Bum’s new friend, had stepped into the picture.
“Minho’s just a friend!” Ki Bum protested.
“Well from the way you I see it, that isn’t the case Ki Bum!”
“You think I’m lying?”
“No, I just don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t lose me.”
Little did Ki Bum know that Jonghyun would one day lose him.
This was the most important stage of their relationship. It’s a turning point, where it could either make or break a relationship. Their relationship had the potential to grow, and they could have lived happily ever after, but instead, it went downhill, as they began to take each other’s trust for granted. There was no turning back at this point.
“I’m sorry.” Jonghyun whispered.
“I know.”
Stage 5: Tolerance
This is the stage where it’s very difficult to turn around. This is when the couple would constantly fight as a couple almost every single day, usually about the little, petty things. However, all these small fights would continue on, and the distance between you grows with it.
“Minho said he likes me.” Ki Bum announced, “Are you annoyed by that?”
“Just slightly. Did you tell him about us?”
“Yeah. He said that he was okay with it.”
Ki Bum and Jonghyun’s relationship at this point, wasn’t at it’s best. Ever since Minho had entered the picture, Jonghyun had this fear of waking up to Ki Bum packing up his belongings and telling him that he was going to leave him for Minho.
Because Minho seemed to have all the things Jonghyun had lacked. All the things Ki Bum had wanted to see in Jonghyun, but could sadly never receive.
“I don't know where to start... I keep thinking about you.” Minho confessed, “Ki Bum, I have no intention of stepping into your relationship with Jonghyun. But I just thought I’d let you know.”
This is the stage when most people say..."It's not great, but it's not bad".
Their relationship wasn’t going well at all.
The two of them would constantly fight almost every single day, usually about the little, petty things. But those little, petty things were mostly about Minho and how he was interfering with their already unstable relationship.
Stage 6: Downhill
Minho had said he wouldn’t step in. But he did. And everything just became a whole cluster of confusion for Jonghyun and Ki Bum.
“I think Ki Bum deserves someone better than you.”
“What makes you say that? Ki Bum seems perfectly happy with our relationship.”
“You're just saying that to make yourself think it’s not going downhill. But in reality it really is.”
That made Jonghyun feel insecure, and he hated that feeling.
Minho was beginning to take his place in Ki Bum’s life. Whenever he had the chance, Minho would steal Ki Bum away from Jonghyun. And as time passed, Ki Bum would voluntarily go to Minho instead of Jonghyun. He felt the distance grow between them, Ki Bum’s relationship with Minho had grown into something a little more than just friendship. And it hurt Jonghyun to realize that.
This was when Jonghyun knew there was nothing else he could do to stop what was inevitable.
“I think it’s about time we break up, Ki Bum.”
“I suppose.”
Their problems at this point would forever remain unsolved.
Stage 7: Breaking Up
Everything had become so heartbreaking for Jonghyun, he would cry for hours on some days where he felt as if he couldn’t take it anymore. Normally, Ki Bum would go and comfort him right away. But now, he felt as if he no right too, after what had happened.
The effort to try and make things work, was just not worth it anymore.
“I don’t know how I can manage to look at you and still keep telling myself it’s time for me to walk away.”
“Jonghyun, I’m so sorry. I'm trying not to hurt you. It's just that I'm tired of disappointing you.”
Jonghyun understands. Ki Bum falling in love with Minho was something he had no control over. He had to accept that. There was nothing both of them could to fix their relationship at this point.
It was the end of the line for their relationship. This was when the two of them believe that it's for the best if you break up. Ki Bum said that it wasn’t fair for Jonghyun to still be dating him when their closeness had already weakened and he had admitted to falling in love with Minho.
"I think it's for the best." Ki Bum said in sober voice.
"I’ll miss you. I’ll miss our life together.” Jonghyun said, before hugging Ki Bum and walking out of their officetel, his bags towing behind him.
“Goodbye.” It was the hardest word for Ki Bum to say.
Years later....
Forgive and forget, Onew would always say to him. But was it really that easy to forgive and forget what had happened between him and Ki Bum years ago? He wished Onew would realize that he can’t live like that. Jonghyun knew he had to move on. But the fond memories he had shared with Ki Bum over the years, were memories he had wanted to keep, no matter how painful some of them were.
“You really can’t get over him huh, Jonghyun?” Onew asked concerningly.
“It’s hard to forget someone you loved for so long, hyung. It’s really hard.”
We often want second chances. Sometimes we don't deserve them. The feeling of regret and wishing for another chance is common when a couple separates. Whoever is at fault usually searches for sympathy as they have realized in hindsight their mistakes.
Ki Bum realizes that he wasn’t worthy of getting another chance.
Though Jonghyun doesn’t hesitate to run to Ki Bum’s side when he calls out of the blue saying he and Minho had broken up.
Maybe he was entitled to a second chance after all.
From: Your Secret Santa
Title: Second Chances are hard to come by
Pairing: Jonghyun/Key
Rating: G
Authors’ Notes: I honestly apologize before hand if this wasn’t what you expected from me. I have been a bit rusty and my writing isn’t at it’s finest at this point. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy my fic^^
Every relationship goes through certain stages.
Thing would start off when two people meet, and then get to know each other. If things go well, they start off as good friends. After some time has passed, they could develop feelings for one another. That’s where the chase begins.
That’s where they fall in love with each other. That’s where the magic begins.
And when that’s over, the honeymoon stage rolls along. They are now officially a couple and are free to show affection for each other.
But the stage that comes after this, is the most important one out of all the stages. When a couple reaches the comfortable stage, it’s ultimately up to the couple on what to do that can either make or break their relationship.
We all tend to hope for the best. But we can’t avoid something that is inevitable.
That’s why people say love is such a fragile thing. There is always a chance that things can change in an instant. The circumstances that were present at the time may have helped things fall into place with your significant other, but it’s what we do with those circumstances that keep the relationship strong.
And looking back at his past, Ki Bum wishes his relationship with Jonghyun could have gone better. If he had a time machine, he’d go back in time and fix everything.
His relationship with Jonghyun went a little different than how most relationships go.
Stage 1: Meeting
It's a moment of impact. A couple starts out as strangers. By chance they meet.
Ki Bum still remembers the first time he met Jonghyun.
It was his 5th birthday and his grandmother had invited their new next door neighbor to his party. Ki Bum wasn’t much of a talker as he was now when he was litte. He was actually quite the silent person. Jonghyun on the other hand was a rowdy, mischievous boy . Ki Bum never expected to be friends with. He had spent most of the birthday party running away from him.
But they ended up becoming really good friends by the end of it, after Ki Bum had called a truce between them when Jonghyun had tripped and scraped his knee in a game of tag.
“Your name is Jonghyun right?”
“Yea, my name is Jonghyun. Kim Jonghyun.”
“Let’s be good friends, araso?” Ki Bum said innocently, holding out his pinky finger to Jonghyun.
“Araso. I will be Ki Bummie’s friend.” He replied with a cheeky smile.
Stage 2: The Chase
This stage in Jonghyun and Key’s relationship was the longest.
This is the stage where you try your best to get to know the other person, doing almost everything with one another. But for Jonghyun and Ki Bum, it was the stage where their budding friendship bloomed into a romantic relationship both of them never expected to happen.
Growing up the two had become inseparable. The next few years after they had met consisted of frequent play dates and hanging out at each other’s houses. They had plowed through the awkward adventure of adolescence and grew up to handsome, young men.
By the time high school rolled in, they were more than inseparable. The closeness between them was undeniable. They were like brothers.
One could mistake their close friendship as the two having feelings for each other. But that wasn’t entirely untrue. At this stage of the relationship, their feelings towards each other were those of friendship.
------
Ki Bum doesn’t know when or where it happened, but some time between sophomore and junior year. He had developed romantic feelings for his best friend.
“Halmoni, is it...weird that I...have developed romantic feelings for Jonghyun?” he asked in an uncertain tone.
“Ani. Ki Bummie, I had figured that out ages ago. I was just waiting for you to discover that for yourself.”
“Are you mad, halmoni?’
“Halmoni isn’t mad Ki Bummie. I just hope that you don’t get hurt from what you’re feeling. Halmoni wants Ki Bummie to be happy.”
This is why Ki Bum loves his grandmother. She doesn’t judge him-that much. But he loved her nonetheless.
---
Jonghyun on the other hand, was having a fight with his inner self when he had realized that he had developed feelings for Ki Bum. Growing up, he had always heard that liking a guy when he was a guy himself was unnatural, sick and twisted.
He would ask himself if he had really liked Ki Bum.
But Ki Bum was the most important person in his life. He didn’t want to ruin their friendship just because he was confused.
Some people say that the best things in the world are those in which you are willing to risk a whole lot, in order to obtain.
Jonghyun kept on asking himself if he was willing to risk it.
And he did. They both did.
Ki Bum had confessed one night while they were doing their homework, and Jonghyun had felt this surge of happiness run through his body when he pressed his lips onto Ki Bum’s.
“It was the greatest event in my life." They would both say.
Stage 3: The Honeymoon
"Oh, I'm so in love with you. It's insane." Ki Bum would say as he wraps his arms around Jonghyun’s waist and hugs him tightly.
This was the stage where they were officially a couple. This was supposed to be the time they could do everything they wanted to do as a couple. But their transition from being just friends to being a couple wasn’t really a big step up for them. They were still the best of friends, only now, they were dating.
They would flirt. Jonghyun would send daily morning and goodnight texts every time you wake up or go to sleep. He would write corny messages and songs and pick up lines just to make sure that there is a smile on Ki Bum’s face everyday.
And as corny as Jonghyun’s pick up lines were, Ki Bum loved every single one of them.
But they weren’t exactly allowed to show affection to one another at school, or in public. The only place they could was when they were at Ki Bum’s house. And they enjoyed it while they could.
Out of all the lines Jonghyun had used on him. The one he had told him when they went on their anniversary date was his favorite.
“You’re my unicorn. Do you know that?” Jonghyun says out of the blue one day.
“Your unicorn?” Ki Bum doesn’t exactly know what Jonghyun had meant by that.
“You know, you’re the guy that I always dreamed about existing. You, Kim Ki Bum are too perfect. I am happier than I thought I could possibly be.”
Jonghyun beamed that idiotic smile of his that Ki Bum loved so much as he leaned onto the latter’s shoulder and laced his hands with Ki Bum’s.
They were happy.
“I vow to love you forever and ever.” Jonghyun and Ki Bum say in unison, as they renew their “pinky promise” from years ago.
Life couldn’t possibly get any better than this.
Stage 4: Comfortable
Now, it wasn’t as if Ki Bum and Jonghyun were already comfortable with each other.
But at some point, the affection towards at each other-had stopped.
When Minho, Ki Bum’s new friend, had stepped into the picture.
“Minho’s just a friend!” Ki Bum protested.
“Well from the way you I see it, that isn’t the case Ki Bum!”
“You think I’m lying?”
“No, I just don’t want to lose you.”
“You won’t lose me.”
Little did Ki Bum know that Jonghyun would one day lose him.
This was the most important stage of their relationship. It’s a turning point, where it could either make or break a relationship. Their relationship had the potential to grow, and they could have lived happily ever after, but instead, it went downhill, as they began to take each other’s trust for granted. There was no turning back at this point.
“I’m sorry.” Jonghyun whispered.
“I know.”
Stage 5: Tolerance
This is the stage where it’s very difficult to turn around. This is when the couple would constantly fight as a couple almost every single day, usually about the little, petty things. However, all these small fights would continue on, and the distance between you grows with it.
“Minho said he likes me.” Ki Bum announced, “Are you annoyed by that?”
“Just slightly. Did you tell him about us?”
“Yeah. He said that he was okay with it.”
Ki Bum and Jonghyun’s relationship at this point, wasn’t at it’s best. Ever since Minho had entered the picture, Jonghyun had this fear of waking up to Ki Bum packing up his belongings and telling him that he was going to leave him for Minho.
Because Minho seemed to have all the things Jonghyun had lacked. All the things Ki Bum had wanted to see in Jonghyun, but could sadly never receive.
“I don't know where to start... I keep thinking about you.” Minho confessed, “Ki Bum, I have no intention of stepping into your relationship with Jonghyun. But I just thought I’d let you know.”
This is the stage when most people say..."It's not great, but it's not bad".
Their relationship wasn’t going well at all.
The two of them would constantly fight almost every single day, usually about the little, petty things. But those little, petty things were mostly about Minho and how he was interfering with their already unstable relationship.
Stage 6: Downhill
Minho had said he wouldn’t step in. But he did. And everything just became a whole cluster of confusion for Jonghyun and Ki Bum.
“I think Ki Bum deserves someone better than you.”
“What makes you say that? Ki Bum seems perfectly happy with our relationship.”
“You're just saying that to make yourself think it’s not going downhill. But in reality it really is.”
That made Jonghyun feel insecure, and he hated that feeling.
Minho was beginning to take his place in Ki Bum’s life. Whenever he had the chance, Minho would steal Ki Bum away from Jonghyun. And as time passed, Ki Bum would voluntarily go to Minho instead of Jonghyun. He felt the distance grow between them, Ki Bum’s relationship with Minho had grown into something a little more than just friendship. And it hurt Jonghyun to realize that.
This was when Jonghyun knew there was nothing else he could do to stop what was inevitable.
“I think it’s about time we break up, Ki Bum.”
“I suppose.”
Their problems at this point would forever remain unsolved.
Stage 7: Breaking Up
Everything had become so heartbreaking for Jonghyun, he would cry for hours on some days where he felt as if he couldn’t take it anymore. Normally, Ki Bum would go and comfort him right away. But now, he felt as if he no right too, after what had happened.
The effort to try and make things work, was just not worth it anymore.
“I don’t know how I can manage to look at you and still keep telling myself it’s time for me to walk away.”
“Jonghyun, I’m so sorry. I'm trying not to hurt you. It's just that I'm tired of disappointing you.”
Jonghyun understands. Ki Bum falling in love with Minho was something he had no control over. He had to accept that. There was nothing both of them could to fix their relationship at this point.
It was the end of the line for their relationship. This was when the two of them believe that it's for the best if you break up. Ki Bum said that it wasn’t fair for Jonghyun to still be dating him when their closeness had already weakened and he had admitted to falling in love with Minho.
"I think it's for the best." Ki Bum said in sober voice.
"I’ll miss you. I’ll miss our life together.” Jonghyun said, before hugging Ki Bum and walking out of their officetel, his bags towing behind him.
“Goodbye.” It was the hardest word for Ki Bum to say.
Years later....
Forgive and forget, Onew would always say to him. But was it really that easy to forgive and forget what had happened between him and Ki Bum years ago? He wished Onew would realize that he can’t live like that. Jonghyun knew he had to move on. But the fond memories he had shared with Ki Bum over the years, were memories he had wanted to keep, no matter how painful some of them were.
“You really can’t get over him huh, Jonghyun?” Onew asked concerningly.
“It’s hard to forget someone you loved for so long, hyung. It’s really hard.”
We often want second chances. Sometimes we don't deserve them. The feeling of regret and wishing for another chance is common when a couple separates. Whoever is at fault usually searches for sympathy as they have realized in hindsight their mistakes.
Ki Bum realizes that he wasn’t worthy of getting another chance.
Though Jonghyun doesn’t hesitate to run to Ki Bum’s side when he calls out of the blue saying he and Minho had broken up.
Maybe he was entitled to a second chance after all.