Chat me up [Part 2]
>Part 1<
A month later, Kibum knew he was playing with fire.
Blue Night turned out to be something of an enigma for the younger boy (apparently he was born in 1990, which made him a year older than himself), and it was beginning to worry Kibum. Blue Night was a musician, funny, sporadic, an insomniac, and a romanticist at heart, according to himself at least. In fact, he was pursuing Music in University (although he always evaded answering which Uni he actually attended, but Kibum never pressed it further). The pair were constantly exchanging witty conversation, even during Kibum's classes which he at first hesitated to do so, but he found this Blue Night character intriguing and impossible to pull away from. They were quickly becoming friends, exchanging tidbits of their lives here and there, nothing too revealing or personal but enough to keep the conversation going. Honestly, and Kibum hated to admit it, but maybe Woohyun had given him some good advice for once. In a way, Kibum felt that the anonymity of having an internet friend was something of a safe zone. He could direct what happened next, if anything at all, and what he would divulge. He never felt like he had to second guess what he would say to Blue Night because in the end, who cares? They didn't know each other, nor would they ever. And because of that, maybe Kibum was starting to get worried. Because he felt a little too comfortable with someone he had only began talking to a month prior.
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A lazy afternoon of playing video games with Taemin was going well, until the younger boy noticed that Kibum was paying more attention to his phone than he was to Call of Duty.
"Hey." Taemin pouted and kicked his leg out, hitting Kibum's thigh obnoxiously from where he was sitting against the wall until he looked up from his cell phone. "Stop ignoring me Hyung, you promised we would finish this mission today." Kibum sighed and reluctantly set his phone off to the side, honestly feeling bad for sidelining Taemin for chatting with Blue Night.
"Sorry Min, just a little flustered." Taemin narrowed his eyes at Kibum's choice of words, sliding his gaze casually over to the conveniently unlocked phone that was sitting in arm's reach. Unfortunately for Kibum, he didn't recognize the evil glint in Taemin's eyes until it was too late, the boy already curled in a fetal position to protect his new possession from Kibum as he quickly skimmed through their conversation.
"Oh my god. Are you two seriously bickering over the practicality of flavored lube?" Taemin sat up and shoved the phone back into Kibum's waiting hands, wiping his palms off on his jeans as if the conversation alone made his hands feel dirty. Kibum's cheeks flared an ugly shade of red at Taemin's question, trying to explain himself but the embarrassment was doing a pretty good job at inhibiting his motor speech functions.
"I-what, no! I mean, yes, technically. But it isn't what you think it is, it's an actual valid issue and..." Kibum continued to trip over his words, his dignity sinking lower and lower with each passing minute. Taemin smiled deviously and shrugged, turning back to focus on the paused game.
"Whatever you say Hyung."
Mortified, the next time his phone buzzed with another notification from Blue Night, Kibum threw his phone across the room and watched dispassionately as it landed with a soft thud against his mattress. Taemin cocked an eyebrow at Kibum's behavior, snorting at how easily it was for someone to get the blond riled up.
“You know, the only other person I’ve seen get you that fiesty is Jonghyun hyung,” Taemin said with a small smirk, voicing his thoughts aloud. Kibum narrowed his eyes and subtly flicked the younger off.
“Stop meddling, brat.”
“Whatever.”
The room settled back into silence for a moment, only the sound of their breathing and the subtle clack of plastic from Taemin's controller permeating the quiet. That is, until the tell-tale sound of a familiar buzz rang from Kibum's bed. Taemin started cackling as Kibum slumped further down the wall, clawing at his face as he bemoaned his odd romantic life.
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Blue Night: Comme, did you see Beyoncé's new album?
Kibum looked down at his phone on the table, quickly peeking up at the professor at the front of the classroom. Mrs.Young seemed entranced in her lesson on the history of socioeconomics however, so he figured it'd be safe to chat.
Commedesgarcon: Yessssss, it was so good. I watched all of Lemonade. You?
Blue Night: Haven't gotten the chance to yet. Can you send me a link?
Commesdesgarcon: Sure, but later. Rn I'm in the middle of class.
Blue Night: Ooooo naughty ;) Talking to me instead of paying attention? I thought you were more studious than that.
Commesdesgarcon: Fine I'll leave then
Blue Night: Noooooo comme pls don't go, I was only teasing
Blue Night: Comme?
Blue Night: Commeeeeee pleaseeeeee come backkkkkkk
Blue Night: Im sorryyyyyyyyyyy
Blue Night: What if I gave you fdoo
Blue Night: food*
Blue Night: COMMEEEEEEEE PLSSSSSSS
Commedesgarcon: stop this
Blue Night: You're back :D
Blue Night: I missed u
Commesdesgarcon: You're ridiculous
Blue Night: Ridiculously caught up in you maybe ;D
And this was another thing that had been worrying Kibum. As easily as the conversation flowed, so did the flirtatious comments. He knew it was silly, that there wasn't any real substance behind that words, but the small nagging feeling of guilt kept gnawing at his insides every time he felt himself blush at something Blue Night said. He was supposed to only act that way with Jonghyun, not some random stranger through the internet that he had never even seen before.
Blue Night: Hey, when do you get out of class?
Commesdesgarcon: Uh, 20 minutes.
Commesdesgarcon: why?
Blue Night: Secret :D
Kibum felt someone nudge into his side lightly then, rolling his eyes when he saw Taemin's curious gaze flickering between him and the cell phone.
"Is that the dude from the dating site?" Taemin whispered, nestling himself comfortably on Kibum's shoulder to peer over at the screen. Kibum clicked his tongue and lightly batted the younger boy's cheek for being nosy, quickly turning off his phone and turning it upside down on the table so his private messages could no longer be read by the little sneak.
"Don't say dating site, that makes me sound so tacky. And yes it is Blue Night." Taemin pouted and let out a quiet huff, annoyed that his chances to pry were effectively shut down.
"You are a little tacky..." The younger muttered under his breath, settling back properly into his own seat. Kibum scoffed and turned to face him, this time smacking him on his thigh.
"I'm not tacky!" He said shrilly, only realizing afterwards that he had just blurted that out in the middle of lecture. Kibum turned to face the front with a solemn look on his face as he heard his teacher clear her throat, seeing her stare him down through her horn-rimmed glasses, a steely look on her face.
"Mr. Kim. Mr. Lee. Since you two clearly can't concentrate during this lecture, please see your way out so we can carry on without interruption. Or are you willing to stay quiet for the rest of class?"
Kibum and Taemin glanced briefly at each other and shrugged, apologizing quietly for disrupting the class and stayed seated silently for the rest of the (boring) lecture. After class, the two quickly bolted from their seats, giggling amongst themselves as they felt the glare of Mrs.Young on their backs as the exited the room.
It was on their way to the nearby café on campus that Kibum felt his phone buzz briefly in his back pocket, a small grin making its way onto his face as recognized the familiar vibration.
"He sent you a picture of roses? See, I told you the whole site is tacky." Kibum rolled his eyes and shoved Taemin away, slightly annoyed that the younger had managed to read over his shoulder again.
"Can't you just stop being nosy for once?" Kibum shot back, trying to ignore the way he felt a little flustered (and maybe just a little bit flattered) at the sweet gesture Blue Night sent him.
Blue Night: I may not know what you look like, but not even the prettiest roses compare to how special you are.
"By the way, have you talked to Jonghyun hyung lately? You used to be all over him, before this Blue Night showed up."
Kibum sighed, setting his backpack down on one of the small outside tables of the café once they got there. The blond settled into the metal chair and set his favorite jean jacket across the back since it wasn't cold enough out in the early afternoon to need the extra layer quite yet.
"We hung out last weekend to get ice cream and catch up. We've both been really busy with school though. Jonghyun has a big music festival coming up as well that he's going to be performing in actually, so he's been preparing for that lately." Taemin nodded and gave him a weak smile in return, gently folding his hands together in his lap as he watched Kibum glance over the menu the waitress had given them when they walked up. Something was off with Kibum, but he didn't know what it was. He just wished he could fix it. Whether that solution included Jonghyun however...that much he wasn't sure of anymore.
The waitress came back to take down their orders and collect the menus, before leaving with a quick nod and the promise of being back soon with their drinks.
"You know," Taemin said off-handedly, watching college students meander by along the street to and fro. "Blue Night reminds me of Jonghyun. Just a bit."
Kibum sat up straight, caught off guard at Taemin's sudden statement. In truth, he had noticed the similarities himself. In fact he was hoping that maybe it was a sign that he should go after Jonghyun after all, even though it seemed somewhat silly in a logical sense.
"Maybe. I suppose there are certain similar aspects."
Taemin rolled his eyes in exasperation, shaking his head at Kibum's reluctance to admit he was right.
"Anyways. I think you're using this Blue Night as a crutch. Distracting yourself from going after who you really like. I think it might be best if you just...stopped talking to Blue Night. You need to come down from whatever fantasy world you've been living in and take the risk to go after Jonghyun. You owe yourself that much to at least try."
The pair fell into a tense silence, Taemin's words leaving the whole conversation feeling relatively awkward. Taemin stood up once their drinks arrived, quickly paying for both of them and heading out with a simple, "Think about it, Kibum. Goodnight."
Kibum stared at the retreating back of his friend, still stunned into silence. He felt hurt, a little scared, and quite a bit confused as to what he should do. He knew Taemin was right, and he knew he was being unfair to himself and Jonghyun by ignoring the real problem. He hadn't hung out with Jonghyun like they used to in so long, that was true. But it wasn't completely because of their workload. He felt guilty about Blue Night, and any plan he could conjure up as to how to confess to Jonghyun was riddled with doubt. He just didn't want to lose his best friend.
Later that night, Kibum sat in the middle of his mattress facing his window, silently mulling over what to do. It was relaxing to be alone in the dark, only the dim light of the street lamps outside offering a source of familiarity within the shadows. He could faintly hear the cicadas that seemed to come alive at this time of night, remembering how he used to leave his window open all night long when he was younger during the summer, enjoying the chorus of nighttime critters as he slipped off into sleep. Now he was wishing he was young again, tucked away in the safety of his Grandmother's house in his old hometown of Daegu. At least back then, he could turn to Jonghyun whenever he couldn't work out what to do. Now Jonghyun was the problem, and he didn’t know who to seek out for advice. Or maybe he did.
Without thinking much about it, he grabbed for his phone that was lying next to his thigh, quickly swiping open his chat with Blue Night and typing out what he knew would mean the beginning of the end for their online tryst. But, as is life, all good things must come to an end.
Commedesgarcon: BN?
Blue Night: yes comme?
Commesdesgarcon: How should you confess to someone?
Kibum waited nervously as Blue Night took several minutes to respond, making him wonder if he had somehow overstepped a silent boundary that he wasn't aware had been established. Luckily, he didn't have to wait long before his friend messaged him back.
Blue Night: I dunno comme. Just tell him you like him, that's the best thing to do. Be upfront about it.
Commesdesgarcon: Okay. Thanks BN~
Blue Night: Of course Comme. Goodnight :)
Commesdesgarcon: Goodnight!
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A week later and Kibum was seated in a packed auditorium at the college's main campus, brushing his fringe (really, he needs to get it cut or remember to bring those damn clips) out of his eyes so he could see the stage clearly. The room was filled with nonsensical chatter, impatient young adults all intending on socializing until the last possible second when social norms dictated that they all shut up to pay attention respectfully to the performers on stage. Kibum knew that somewhere backstage a bright-eyed, nervous Jonghyun was re-tuning his guitar for the nth time in a row, pacing back and forth while he waited for his name to be called. According to the pamphlet that was lying upside down in Kibum's lap, his best friend was lined up to go first as the opening act for the night's performances.
Somewhere in the back of auditorium Woohyun and his new boy-toy Sungkyu were probably being grossly affectionate with each other, but after the horror of having to watch them inhale each other's faces the other night when the three went out to see a movie together, Kibum was adamant about avoiding another situation like that one. Despite that, some part of Kibum wished Woohyun was sitting near him, because he desperately wanted someone to talk down his nerves that had been slowly rising all day. See, tonight wasn't only special because it was the night that Jonghyun was opening for the festival and would finally be able to show off his natural talent to the entirety of the student body; no, Kibum, for whatever reason, decided that he absolutely had to confess to Jonghyun tonight or he might implode from the pent up anxiety.
Looking up from where his hands were nervously wringing together, Kibum noticed the lights in the room suddenly grow dim as the stage lights were brightened, casting the stage in a bright yellow-orange hue. The previously chattering voices dimmed likewise, bringing the room to a polite standstill as the Music Director for the college gave a brief intro about the festival and introduced the first act.
"And without further ado, here to open our festival night we have Kim Jonghyun with an original composition!"
The director exited the stage as the curtains opened, revealing Jonghyun in a beige sweater and black jeans with his guitar strapped across his front, a blinding grin on his face. The usual introductory round of applause ensued, with Kibum possibly cheering a little too enthusiastically than really necessary. But he couldn't help it, he was practically buzzing with nervous energy as he waited for Jonghyun to speak and begin his piece.
Jonghyun stepped forward towards the mic, taking it smoothly from the stand and into his hand. The stage lights were glinting off his Auburn hair, showing off the newly dyed highlights that Jonghyun had gushed to him about over Snapchat when he first got it done a few weeks ago.
"Hello everyone! My name is Kim Jonghyun, and I'm a Music Education major. This is a new piece that I quickly hashed together last weekend-" Kibum tried to keep the look of surprise off his face at this information. Usually Jonghyun would prepare weeks in advance preparing a song for a performance like this. "-but I was feeling inspired. See, I made a new friend. Well, kinda. And his quirks just make me smile. I'll stop blabbering and get to it then. Here is U&I."
Jonghyun placed the mic back in its stand, carefully placing his hands on the rights strings with practiced ease. The singer cleared his throat and quickly glanced over to where Kibum was sitting, giving him a knowing smirk (and perhaps stopping his heart, just briefly) before he began to strum the opening chord and start singing.
"You, you and I
Oh, you and I can't be apart
You (you you), you and I
I'm always waiting for your story
I'm so exhausted
And having a real hard time
It's a day where sighing once is hard
So how was your day?
You're smiling, you must be in a good mood
That's nice to see, can you tell me your story?"
The song was upbeat, cute, and overall just made it hard for Kibum to keep a silly grin off of his lips. Jonghyun looked so happy up on stage, his voice crooned out the lyrics as if he was talking to a lover, and Kibum knew that the older boy was in his element. Every so often throughout the short song the pair would catch each other's gazes and wink, sharing in each other's enjoyment.
As Jonghyun strummed the final chord of the song and took a polite bow, loud applause broke out among the auditorium, the spectators vocalizing just how good they thought his song was. Kibum stood up and cheered for his friend, feeling overwhelming pride for the older boy. The night seemed to be perfect, his anxiety about confessing long forgotten and -
"Thank you Comme, for inspiring me."
Kibum froze at Jonghyun's words, his smile quickly fading as the singer gave Kibum a meaningful look before walking offstage through the wings, heading backstage to give room for the next act to set up. Although he wasn't really conscious of it, the next thing he knew Kibum found himself rushing outside, vaguely registering Woohyun's concerned voice calling out for him from behind. Kibum ignored Woohyun in favor of heading back to his dorm as quickly as possible, his previous plans of meeting Jonghyun after the performance to congratulate him in person now cast aside for the time being. Kibum sprinted across campus, the adrenaline from the sudden fear pooling in his stomach urging him on, his sympathetic nervous system kicking in and fueling this sudden spurt of athleticism long enough to get him to the door of his private dorm.
Kibum didn't stop and take the time to gulp in breaths of air that he desperately needed until he was safely tucked away in the comfort of his blankets, his lungs constricting painfully as he tried his best to calm down. A sheen of sweat covered his skin, making the added heat of the blankets even more uncomfortable but somehow Kibum couldn't bring himself to push them to the side.
Jonghyun knew.
Jonghyun was Blue Night.
God, Kibum felt like the world's biggest idiot at the moment. The reason why he got along so well with Blue Night was because it was Jonghyun. That's why the similarities existed. They weren't similarities at all, they were just Jonghyun. It was always just Jonghyun.
Kibum stared up at the ceiling as he flopped onto his back with a loud sigh, not really focusing on anything in particular as thoughts raced around his head at the speed of light. His frayed emotions were jumbling up with logical thought, which only served to make the growing headache worse. However, amid the chaos, one thought in particular remained constant.
I don't want to lose him.
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The next morning Kibum woke up to something repeatedly poking his cheek, making the sleep-hazed blond scrunch up his nose in annoyance and snuggle further down into his comforter to avoid the intruder. Several moments passed by before Kibum's eyes shot open in alarm and he sat up, immediately jumping back with an alarmed screech and pressing himself up against the wall to see who the hell decided to break into his room.
"Who the fu-" Kibum paused as he finally noticed who was in his room. Jonghyun was kneeling awkwardly at the side of his bed, clad in that ugly print tee that Kibum had on multiple occasions attempted to throw out, claiming the article was an offensive atrocity to the name of fashion. Kibum deflated a bit as he relaxed, no longer worried that a random stranger had broken in; Jonghyun must've used the spare key that Kibum had given him. However Kibum still didn't relax completely, eyeing Jonghyun warily since he didn't know where they currently stood in their friendship.
"So," Kibum said quietly. "Blue Night?"
Jonghyun shifted forward, leaning his forearms on the younger's bed to make himself more comfortable. "Yeah," he answered with a slight nod.
"How long did you know?"
Jonghyun shrugged and looked off to the side, feeling a little guilty seeing how uncomfortable he's made Kibum.
"The...entire time, to be honest. Woohyun set this whole thing up. I knew I shouldn't have done it, I should have just been straightforward with you, but I wanted to be sure." Kibum scoffed, taking a mental note to give Woohyun a nice little talk about meddling behind people's backs once he met up with him for lunch this weekend. Maybe that's where Taemin got his nosiness from, he needed to stop having the two boys hang out together.
"Sure about what?" Kibum spat out, feeling a little defensive and more than a little insecure. He pulled his blankets closer to his chest, the small cocoon giving him momentary comfort.
Jonghyun froze, looking unsure about what to say, but before Kibum could question why Jonghyun was acting so weird all of a sudden, something warm and soft was pressing against his lips. It was fleeting, and Kibum didn't even have the chance to really take in what happened before Jonghyun had already pulled away, staring up at him with the same big eyes that had looked at Kibum the first time they had ever met. Kibum's brain seemed to short circuit; did Jonghyun just...kiss him? Oh god please don't be hallucinating.
Jonghyun seemed to panic as the seconds ticked by without a response from the younger, worried that he had misread the entire situation. The apology was poised on the tip of his tongue and he had begun to scoot back to give Kibum space, when the blond leaned forward and returned the quick peck. It was innocent and sweet, but it put a smile on both of their faces nonetheless.
"You're ridiculous," Kibum muttered, grabbing Jonghyun by the wrist and pulling him up onto his bed to snuggle into his side, just like they've always done.
"Ridiculously caught up in you, maybe." Jonghyun shot back, his voice light and teasing as he wrapped his arms around Kibum and pulled him closer. Kibum chuckled and rolled his eyes, biting back the snippy retort he so badly wanted to use. For now he would let Jonghyun be a romanticist, and keep his usual comments at bay.
"Yeah, whatever. We cool?" Kibum tilted his head back to look up at the older, wanting to reassure that despite this change, they were still as they always were.
"Mhm. Just no more talking to guys on Pegr please."
Kibum laughed a little harder than he probably should have, but sue him, he felt elated.
"Agreed."
The End :)