SBB 2016 ENTRY #20: Clueless (1/2)
Title: Clueless (1/2)
Pairings: Jonghyun/Taemin, Minho/Key, Jonghyun/Key, Jonghyun/Eunhyuk
Rating: PG
Notes: Humour fic; mild cursing, references to sexual situations
Final Word Count: 12,611
Late Friday night, The Hall of Shame (aka, my room)
The banging on my door is getting louder and more insistent, so I pull the covers up tighter around my head in an effort to block it out. To be honest, it’s getting kind of hot and muggy in here, but I’m busy trying to wallow in self-pity, so for now I’m sticking with the plan.
There’s a break in the thumping. “C’mon, Jonghyun, open up!”
And...the banging recommences. Good thing mom’s on night shift and isn’t at home to hear all this.
That’s Taemin out there making a racket. He’s my best friend and a clueless loser. I know, that doesn’t sound very charitable of me. He really is a good guy, but I’m not kidding about the clueless part. The kid has no filter.
“It wasn’t that bad, Jonghyun! I’ll bet no one even remembers it!”
“Go home, Taemin!” I call out, although my head’s now under the pillow, so I guess there’s a good chance he heard only muffled grunts.
No one even remembers it. There’s no way. By Monday, I will be the joke of the school, just like last time. But this time’s my fault-last time it was Taemin’s. At least now he’s stuck out there in the hall instead of in here with me. You see, I have a bolt on my bedroom door. Unusual? Well, Taemin’s the reason for that too. Everything’s connected in one embarrassing heap.
Let me back up a little. A few months ago, I was in my room after school, minding my own business, when Taemin just sauntered right on in with no warning. At the time, I happened to be a little compromised-polishing the banister. You know, playing a flute solo. Anyway, as I said, Taemin waltzed in and found me on my bed, a pot of margarine by my side and me furiously abusing myself to “Barbie Girl.” I know, I know. It’s not that I like the song. It’s just, I don’t know, it works, OK? Maybe it’s the beat or something.
At any rate, after two or three seconds of standing before me frozen and stunned, Taemin dissolved into a puddle of tears on my floor, smacking his hand on the hardwood and struggling to breathe.
I’ll admit, I probably looked pretty funny. But a good friend would have had the sense to keep this between us, hopefully never to be spoken of again. But no, Taemin had to tell people. “Just a few,” he said in his defense the next day, when we arrived at school and literally everybody knew. And he was honestly surprised. See what I mean? A clueless loser. Meanwhile, I had to spend the next month listening to countless unoriginal comments about me “yanking on my Ken doll.” It was endless.
So now there’s a bolt on the door, and Taemin is stuck on the other side, which suits me much better.
Come to think of it, he’s gone kind of quiet. I guess his noodley arm got tired. He’s still there, though, I’m sure of that. He’s faithful, like a dog. I’ll probably find him curled up asleep in front of the door when I finally open it. Maybe I’ll toss a blanket and pillow out there for him.
Anyway, now that it’s silent again, I can get back to my self-pity, which is why I’m here in the first place. To think about how things always go wrong for me. To consider what I fool I am. To lie here and replay the events of the evening in horrifying detail.
But I’m getting ahead of myself again. I should start when this whole debacle began-it’s hard to believe it was just a few days ago.
The Previous Monday
“Hey, Jonghyun! You trying out for basketball this afternoon?”
That was Onew. He knows full well that sports and I aren’t compatible, but he likes to have a little fun with me.
“You know I’ll be there,” I replied, going along with it. Onew took a seat opposite me, placing his lunch tray on the table. The spices from his meal instantly assaulted my nose, almost making my eyes water. I seriously don’t know how he can eat that stuff, but it doesn’t faze him in the least. I think I’ll stick with my tamer dumplings.
Krystal plunked herself down beside him; she’s one of the school’s cheerleaders. Onew draws girls like flies to honey. I’d be jealous of him if I had any interest in girls.
Krystal pulled a lollipop out of her mouth with a pop. “Really, basketball?” she asked. “Aren’t you a little,” she paused, “...um...busy with your music?”
I knew she was thinking I’m too short, but I appreciated the last-minute save. Krystal’s alright. She went back to sucking on her candy and didn’t push the fact that I hadn’t answered.
“How’d you do in Chem?” Onew asked, scooping up a mass of sauce-covered rice and stuffing his cheeks. Somehow he’s even cute with his face full of food. From the way she was watching him, I would say Krystal thinks so too.
I groaned and buried my face in my hands. “Mr. Mun hates me. You know that, right? I swear he made that test as hard as humanly possible.”
“I thought it was pretty easy,” Onew replied with a shrug, his chopsticks preparing the next mouthful.
From anyone else, this would be an annoying comment-a jab at my incompetence, unnecessary bragging about his skills. But with Onew, it’s just the truth.
“I can help you before the next test if you want,” he offered, chomping enthusiastically on some strips of beef.
Before I could answer, Taemin came breezing into the cafeteria and squished himself onto the bench beside Onew, forcing him and Krystal to scoot over. “Guess who’s back?” he announced, a big grin on his face.
Onew slowed his chewing marginally and tipped his head back slightly, eyes raised in thought. After a moment he shook his head and shrugged. “Hint?”
“He graduated two years ago,” Taemin offered, face lit with enjoyment at his little game.
“Taemin, that was, like, a hundred people,” Onew protested.
“Next hint?” Krystal asked, leaning around Onew.
“He played soccer.”
“Donghae?” she guessed, tossing her lollipop stick into a nearby garbage can.
“Close!” Taemin answered, his grin a mile wide.
“Eunhyuk!” she answered.
“Yep!” Taemin nodded, reaching absentmindedly to help himself to my food.
“Hey!” I protested.
Taemin startled for a moment, surprised to see my chopsticks in his hand. Then he continued to steal my food. “I’m hungry,” he said in justification.
“What’s he doing back?” Onew asked.
“Well, he’s not back, back, obviously. But he’s on winter break at uni, so he came home for a visit. He’s in the gym right now shooting hoops with Minho.”
“Sounds about right,” responded Onew.
“Who’s Eunhyuk?” I asked, rescuing my last dumpling from Taemin’s grasp.
“Oh, that’s right, you weren’t here yet,” Krystal began. “He was only the most popular guy in the school. Good at sports, funny, smart, gorgeous...”
“Great smile,” Onew added before taking a sip of his milk.
“Yeah, great smile,” Krystal agreed, resting her chin on her palm dreamily. “Hey, let’s go to the gym!” she suggested, jumping to her feet.
Onew shoved the last couple of bites in his mouth and got up. “You coming?” he mumbled through his food.
Since, thanks to Taemin, my plate was now empty too, I figured I may as well tag along. Onew and I put our trays on the rack by the door, and the four of us headed toward the gym, Taemin dragging a pencil along the metal lockers, sending metallic clinks clacking down the hall.
Our math teacher stuck her head out of the classroom door. “Taemin!” she called out. “Cut the noise!”
Taemin stopped, turned, and bowed slightly. “Sorry, Miss Park.” Then he spun around and ran to catch up with us.
“And no running in the halls!” she shouted after him.
“Sorry about that too, Miss Park,” Taemin yelled, giggling and giving her a wave.
It’s a good thing he’s so cute. Taemin has this endearing quality that allows him to get away with murder. He’s adorable, plus he never actually means any harm. He just doesn’t think.
As expected, Miss Park just shook her head and went back in her class, letting him continue on his way.
When we got to the gym, the game was still on. Sneakers squeaked on the polished floor as we made our way up into the bleachers. Minho and Leo versus Amber and a blond guy I didn’t know but assumed was Eunhyuk, the cause of all the buzz. I don’t know who was ahead at that point, but as we took our seats, Leo passed the ball under Eunhyuk’s arm to Minho, who drove to the net and sunk a two-pointer. I looked around as a few kids watching the game hooted and hollered.
It was then that I noticed Key sitting by himself at the top of the bleachers, reading a book. He’s new-only been here about a month. For some reason, Minho hangs out with him. Beats me why. He always seems to be in a bad mood, whenever I’m around at least. Of course, he picked that moment to look up and catch me watching him. I tried to turn away quickly, but not before Key shot me an icy stare. I shivered.
“Booo!” a voice snapped me out of my thoughts. “You travelled!”
Minho stopped short and looked around for the source.
“You took, like, four steps,” called out Onew, gesturing at the distance.
“I did not!”
“Yeah, you did. Didn’t he?” Onew asked Taemin, who nodded in agreement.
“I took two,” Minho protested. He held up his hand for the ball, and Amber tossed it over to him. Minho furrowed his brow and looked at the floor, trying to find the exact place where he had been when Leo passed him the ball.
Concentrating, he set up again: one, two, swish.
He grabbed the ball and looked up at Onew. “That’s exactly what I did,” he argued, pointing behind him.
“Nope,” insisted Onew, shaking his head. “At least four steps. You started farther back.”
“I did not!” Minho looked around in disbelief at his fellow athletes. He was so absorbed in proving his point, he completely missed the fact that Onew and Taemin were starting to lose it, greatly amused by how easy it was to yank Minho’s chain. Snickers could be heard here and there in the bleachers too, but Minho was on a mission. “That was perfectly good, right, Amber?”
“Sorry, dude, I think Leo’s arm was blocking my view,” she answered, playing along.
Minho ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Eunhyuk, you saw it. It was two, right?”
Eunhyuk turned up his hands and shook his head like he wasn’t sure, so Minho set up the shot again, being careful to start exactly where he had before. One, two, and shoot.
I risked a quick glance over at Key. He had looked up from his book and seemed to be assessing the situation. I guess he realized the guys weren’t serious because he went back to reading.
“Minho!” I yelled.
“What?!” answered an exasperated Minho, ready to demonstrate again in case we hadn’t fully appreciated his point yet.
“Dude, they’re joking.”
Minho stared at me, with his mouth open and his saucer eyes, for a two-count before Onew and Taemin finally lost control, collapsing on each other in peals of laughter. Soon, everyone else joined in.
“They’re just messing with you, Minho. It was two,” I assured him.
Minho nodded, feeling validated, then took the opportunity to lob the ball into the stands where it beaned Taemin off the shoulder.
“Ow!” Taemin grabbed his arm, hamming it up. “It was Onew, not me,” he laughed. Onew was too far gone to respond, wiping tears from his cheeks.
Decorum abandoned, the game began wrapping up. Eunhyuk clapped Minho on the back. “Good game, man. I’m going to grab a shower,” he said, pulling off his t-shirt. He pointed at Minho: “Soccer-here, Wednesday, after school.”
He flashed Minho a 100-watt smile, and between that and the ripped abs, I found myself fully grasping the dazed look Krystal had sported in the caf. He had angular features that could be intense one moment and cheerful the next. And he was built. God, the definition. It made the rest of us look like scrawny teenagers, which of course we are.
My eyes followed him as he jogged across the gym to the change room. And then my mind followed him into the shower, with thoughts of suds running down his lean body. I shook the image away and wandered over to Taemin.
“So...Eunhyuk. That’s him, huh?”
“Yep,” said Taemin, getting up to leave.
I trotted along beside him. “So...uh...tell me about him. Did you know him much when he was here?”
“Yeah. I mean, we weren’t in the same circle-he’s four years older than us. He graduated the spring before you moved here. But his family lives next door, so I’ve known him forever.” Taemin leapt down off the bleachers. I sat on my butt and slid after him. “He moved away to university two years ago.”
“Next door? Wow. How come you never mentioned him?”
“I dunno. I guess I haven’t seen him much since I’ve known you.” Taemin stopped walking and squinted his eyes suspiciously at me. “What’s with all the questions?”
I could feel my face getting red. “He’s...kind of gorgeous, huh?”
“God, yes. You should see him naked,” Taemin said, on the move again.
“What?!” I trotted to catch up. Taemin and his stupid long legs. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said, grabbing his arm and turning him toward me.
Taemin curled his hand in front of his mouth. His cheeks were round, and his eyes curled into little crescents above them. “I shouldn’t say,” he whispered.
“Nuh-uh, Taemin. You don’t get to drop that piece of info and then move on. Details.” I curled my fingers, gesturing for information.
Taemin looked around. “OK, fine. C’mere.” He pulled me into an empty classroom, pushed the door shut, and leaned back against the chalk ledge.
“Well,” I prompted impatiently.
“His bedroom window’s opposite mine, OK? And he never used to pull the blinds down.”
My jaw dropped open. “You stalker! You used to spy on him?” I sat down on the nearest desk, and it creaked in protest.
“Look, he’s beautiful, OK? And a lot older than me. And...I was...curious. I was, like, nine when I first spotted him.” Taemin gestured at me. “Tell me you would have looked away.”
“I totally would have. Taemin, you have no shame.” I shook my head disapprovingly.
“You would not!” Taemin moved forward and shoved me just hard enough to set me off-balance. I slid to my feet.
“Nope, one of us isn’t a perv.” I held up my palm to him.
“You’re such a liar.”
I laughed. “OK, OK,” I admitted. “So, how many times did you see him?”
“I’m not sure.” Taemin bit his lip and looked up at the ceiling like he was mentally doing the math. “Maybe...every day for about five years?”
“What?! Taemin, you must be kidding.”
“Well, maybe not every day because he sometimes undressed after I was asleep. But most of the time I managed to wait up for him. I was tired for years,” he joked.
The school bell rang.
“Shit! I’m going to be late for math! Miss Park’s already annoyed with me for earlier.” Taemin opened the door and hurried to leave.
I grabbed his hand. “Hang on. You’ve got chalk dust all over your ass,” I said brushing it off.
“Now who’s the perv?” Taemin grinned and took off down the hall.
Tuesday
A large yawn took a hold of me, and I covered my mouth hoping my teacher wouldn’t notice. Man, was I tired. It served me right. I lay in bed thinking too long about Eunhyuk last night. I’m not sure why I was so entranced with him. He’s great looking, but geez I just met the guy. I’m not usually taken with people quite that fast. I think it was because he’s older. An actual adult, not a “kid” like my friends and me. I can’t wait to be twenty like him-so confident and independent. I just want to take this whole growing up thing and rip it off like a Band-Aid. Get all those awkward firsts out of the way.
Like sex, for example. I want it, but I also want it over with. The first time out of the way for good. No more worrying about it.
Naturally, that got me daydreaming about sex with Eunhyuk, so when Mr. Mun asked me a question I no doubt would have had trouble with anyway, I had no chance whatsoever. Onew chuckled beside me. Sulli leaned around him. “It’s six,” she whispered.
“Six?” I answered, tentatively.
“That’s your answer. Six.” Mr. Mun leaned back on his desk and crossed his arms across his chest. Not a good sign.
“Um...well, it depends how you look at it?” I could feel my ears starting to burn.
“The chemical composition of sulphuric acid is six,” Mr. Mun stated, his voice flat.
“Oh...um...I meant, it’s got six molecules,” I corrected, taking a shot in the dark.
“No.”
Mr. Mun abandoned his hopes for me and moved on to another student.
“Thanks a lot,” I whispered to Sulli, who was busy giggling with Onew at my misery. “Must be so nice to have friends who are actually helpful,” I admonished them.
“I’m free at lunch,” Onew began, apologetically. “I’ll help you then. We can meet in the caf for a bit, OK?” He patted my arm.
He was true to his word.
********
After lunch, I ran into Minho and Key in the hall. As soon as he saw me, Key took that as his cue to leave and veered off down an adjacent hallway. Minho and I walked to gym class together.
“What’s the deal with him, Minho? I don’t understand why you hang out with him.”
“Aw, Key’s a good guy.”
“Really? Because I’ve only ever seen him be prickly at best and cold at worst. He never talks to anyone-except you, of course.”
“Do you talk to him?”
“No,” I scoffed. “I think he hates me. Seriously, Minho, I get zero vibes from the guy that he wants a conversation out of me.”
Minho cocked his head to one side. “You might be surprised,” he started. “I think he’s a little shy. Something tells me his experience at his last school wasn’t so hot. Maybe he’s taking the approach of rejecting people before they can reject him.” Minho opened the change room door and waited for me to walk through ahead of him. “You know, it wasn’t that long ago you were the new guy in town,” he reminded me. “You remember how hard it was when you arrived a couple of years ago? Just talk to him. I promise, he’s really a solid guy.”
I shrugged. Minho was right about one thing: it really did take a while for me to fit in. And as much as he can be kind of gullible at times, Minho’s a good judge of character. “Fine, I’ll try,” I agreed. “But I’m not getting my hopes up.”
********
Gym class was, of course, disastrous. Not for Minho the Athlete, but for me. I couldn’t wait for it to be over so I could finally go to music class and feel like I belonged. My teacher, Mr. Kim, is the best. Lately he’s gone off curriculum with me and is letting me write songs during class. At least that’s one class where I’m guaranteed an A.
After music I wandered to the library in search of Minho. Instead, I found his counterpart, Key, reading again. Maybe that’s all this kid ever does.
“Um, hey.”
Key looked up from his book briefly, but didn’t say anything. He went back to reading.
“I’m looking for Minho. You seen him?”
“No.”
OK. That was one more word than I expected. I sat down sort of across from him and opened my knapsack, fishing around for my math book. The librarian glanced up at us, so I kept my voice down. “I was hoping we could work on math together,” I continued, plopping my book down in front of me. “He’s not great at it,” I prattled on, “but he’s better than me.”
I opened up my book and began flipping pages to get to the section on triangles.
To my surprise, Key replied. “Math’s not really my thing either.”
I smiled and nodded, increasingly aware of the pregnant pause that now hung between us. “Um...hey, I like your shirt,” I offered, trying to fill the space. “The sleeves...they’re cool.”
Key looked up from his book again. I think it was the first time he ever looked at me without shooting daggers. He pursed his lips, seemingly scanning my comment for sarcasm. “Thanks,” he said eventually. “I made it.”
“You’re kidding!” I exclaimed, and then remembered to drop my voice again. “How’d you learn to do that?”
“My grandmother taught me.” He closed up his book.
Feeling encouraged, I tried to keep the conversation going. “Nice.”
Great comeback, right?
Key got up and threw his satchel over his shoulder.
“Hey, you playing in that soccer match after school tomorrow?” I blurted out.
The librarian shhh’d me, and I nodded in apology.
“Pfft, no,” Key whispered. “Sports are worse than math.”
“Cool, that’s two things we have in common.” I laughed awkwardly.
Key spun toward the door, and as I was thinking he was going to just leave, I heard a quiet, “See ya.”
I exhaled with relief. Well, that could have gone worse. We’re not exactly besties, but I feel I made a little headway. Maybe.
********
“Hey, let’s hang out at your house today,” I suggested.
“Why?” asked Taemin. “We always go to your house.”
We were sitting on the front steps of school. For the end of February, it was really pretty mild out.
I was sitting behind Taemin, playing with his hair-it’s a favourite pastime. Seriously, his hair is so soft. And it smells nice too. I leaned forward to have a quick sniff at the nape of his neck. “No reason,” I replied. “Just for a change.”
Taemin spun around and pointed at me accusingly. “You’re hoping we’ll see Eunhyuk,” he teased.
“Me?” I tried to look offended. “No, I just thought it would be different.”
“Don’t lie to me, Kim Jonghyun. I know you too well,” he warned. “Fine, we’ll go to my house, but only until dinner ’cause I have chores to do.”
********
Luck was with me. When we arrived at Taemin’s house, Eunhyuk was outside on his parents’ drive, washing his car. He was wearing skinny jeans that hugged his ass as he bent down to dip his sponge in the soapy water bucket. It was like a cliché scene from a made-for-TV movie, but in my mind it was perfection.
“Hi Eunhyuk!” Taemin called out.
Eunhyuk stopped scrubbing the road salt off his car door and turned around. His face lit up when he saw Taemin, and he dropped his sponge in the bucket with a splosh and came over to where we were standing on Taemin’s front lawn. “Taemin! Hey, kid, how’re you doing? Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to talk to you yesterday.” He wiped his wet hand on his jeans and extended it.
“That’s OK,” said Taemin, shaking his hand. “I’m good,” he nodded. Then, remembering me standing there. “Oh, this is my friend Jonghyun.” He gestured toward me. “Jonghyun, this is Eunhyuk.”
“Hi,” I said, brain spinning for something to say while I shook his damp hand. “I see you’re wearing clothes today.” Great. Nice going, brain.
“Excuse me?”
“Yesterday, after the basketball match, you...uh...” I mimed pulling off a shirt. Jonghyun, just shut up. “Um...never mind.”
To my relief, Eunhyuk just laughed. “So what are you two up to?”
“Hanging out,” said Taemin. And then, to my dismay, “We’ll probably play some video games.”
Sigh. That meant going inside. I wanted a reason to stay out here with Eunhyuk, even for a few minutes. “Unless you need help washing the car,” I suggested.
“Nah, I’m good. I think she’s pretty much done,” Eunhyuk replied, looking her over. “You boys go have fun. I’ll catch you later.”
We waved goodbye and turned to head to the house when he called out again. “Hey, Taemin, are you playing soccer after school tomorrow?”
“You bet!”
“How about you, Jonghyun?”
“Uh, no, soccer’s not really my...”
“He’s a musician,” Taemin offered proudly.
Eunhyuk looked impressed. “A musician? Wow.”
“Yeah, he’s really good.” Turning to me, “But you’re going to come and watch us play right?”
“Of course!”
“Great! See you both then,” Eunhyuk called out before picking up his bucket. I stared as his lithe body disappeared between the houses.
Taemin snapped his fingers in my face. “Earth to Jonghyun.”
“Sorry,” I said, following him to his side door. “Do you think we’ll ever be that cool, Taemin? I mean, he just seems so together, doesn’t he?”
“I’m already cool. But you? Probably not,” he laughed.
I gave him a light punch in the arm.
“You worry too much,” he said, unlocking the side door and stepping aside for me to enter. He followed me in, threw his knapsack in the corner, and sat on the stairs unlacing his shoes. “Some people are cool. Others have different things going for them. Take you-people like you, Jonghyun. Who cares if you’re not all smooth?”
“I guess,” I replied, lining up my shoes beside his. “It would just be nice not to be so awkward.”
“But you’re cute when you’re awkward.” Taemin made a pouty face and then ran off to the kitchen before I could swat him.
I sat down at Taemin’s kitchen table and waited while cupboard doors banged open and closed as Taemin rummaged for snacks. It was like someone had given him 10 seconds to find what he was looking for.
“Oh!” He suddenly spun around. “Your mom’s still on nights, isn’t she?”
I nodded. “Yeah, why?”
“I’ll make you dinner!” he said, heading back over to the first cupboard.
Dinner? I’ve known Taemin for two years now. He’s not exactly a master chef.
“Found it!” Taemin reached deep into the cupboard and retrieved something crinkly. Then he turned and held up two packets of instant ramen beside each of his proud cheeks.
I raised my eyebrows.
“Just wait and see,” said Taemin, putting them on the counter and searching for a saucepan. Apparently he doesn’t know his way around the kitchen because that took a few tries as well. “I make it differently.”
Great.
“Need any help?”
“Nah.” Taemin waved me off. “I got this.”
While Taemin busied himself with putting the water on to boil and getting ingredients out of the fridge, I wandered into the living room. Through the front window, I could see Eunhyuk busily towel-drying the windows of his car. His lips were moving, but I didn’t see anyone else around. I pressed my ear to the window. He had the car stereo playing and was rapping along with a song. Damn.
“You’re not allergic to eggs, are you?” Taemin called out.
I went back to the kitchen. Taemin had the noodles on a rolling boil and was about to crack an egg into the pot.
“Nope, no allergies.”
“Watch this.”
I sidled up behind him and rested my chin on his shoulder. Taemin cracked the egg on the side of the pot and expertly broke it open with one hand, plopping its contents neatly into the saucepan.
“Taemin, you’re amazing.” I took my seat at the table again and put my feet up on the chair beside me.
Taemin grabbed another egg and tried to duplicate the feat-it didn’t go so well this time. Well, one out of two. He grabbed a small spoon out of a nearby drawer and began chasing bits of eggshell around the pot. Every time he nearly had one extricated, it slid off the spoon at the last minute, back into our dinner. This was going to take a while.
By the time the eggs were cooked, Taemin had most of the eggshell out, so he turned his attention to his remaining ingredients: sesame oil and two slices of plastic cheese. He poured a splash of the former into the pot. “Almost ready,” he announced, placing two sets of chopsticks on the table.
Taemin began banging cupboard doors again until he found a couple of bowls. He scooped an egg into each bowl, followed it with a mass of noodles, and poured in the remaining soup. Then he placed a slice of cheese on the top of each bowl.
“Ta-da!” he sang, placing the bowls on the table. He pushed my feet off the chair and took a seat.
I peered into my bowl. The cheese was melting rapidly and sliding to the bottom, but the rest looked fairly nicely cooked, and it didn’t smell half-bad.
Taemin sat waiting. Clearly I was to try it first. Tentatively, I dipped my chopsticks into the bowl and retrieved some noodles. I blew on them longer than was necessary because I knew Taemin was waiting.
“C’mon already!” he nagged.
I laughed and popped the food in my mouth. I nodded approvingly as I chewed-it was really pretty decent.
“Ha! See, you didn’t know I could cook, did you?” He sat with his chest puffed out, emanating an air of superiority.
“I did not. You’re a wonder,” I conceded.
Taemin and I ate in silence for a minute or two. I watched as he tried to corner his egg-it gave him the slip a couple of times.
“So, your neighbour is out there rapping while he dries his car,” I mentioned, trying to sound like it didn’t really matter to me.
“Oh, yeah?” he said, scraping a piece of eggshell off his tongue. “He and Donghae used to be in a band in high school. I had forgotten about that. They were good.”
Having finished my noodles, I picked up the bowl and drank the rest of the soup. “He was the rapper?”
“Yeah, but he sang too. I don’t think he played an instrument. But he can move on stage, boy. I remember this one performance, he had dyed his hair blue and he was strutting around on stage with a jewelled cane, swivelling his hips.” Taemin paused and drank the rest of his soup from his bowl as I had. “I think some of the teachers thought he went a bit over the top, but Miss Park sure looked impressed. The school went crazy for him after that.”
“Damn, I wish I’d seen that. You think he still performs?” I ran my finger across the bottom of the bowl and scooped out a lump of cheese.
“Not that I know of. Too bad, though, it was something.”
I got up and fetched us each a glass of water. “What do you think he’s like in bed?” I guess that wasn’t a very smooth segue, but after hearing about his swivelling hips, that’s where my mind was yet again.
“What?” Taemin’s mouth dropped open.
“Sex, what do you think he’s like?”
“I don’t know, Jonghyun!” Taemin’s cheeks began to redden. He grabbed our bowls and put them in the sink.
“C’mon, you don’t think about sex?”
“No...well, yes...but I don’t think about talking about sex, that’s for sure.”
“Lately, I think about sex all the time,” I said, ignoring his attempt to avoid the subject. “Like, all the time. Maybe I’d even be passing Chemistry if I could actually pay attention to it, but as soon as Mun starts droning on about covalent bonds pairing or coupling reactions, my brain is right back to sex.” My speech was picking up speed. “And I’m so full of questions: How do you even let someone know you want it? How do you know who’s gonna do what? Should I be facing up? Down? Sideways?”
“Oh my god, Jonghyun, stop.” By then Taemin’s whole face was pink. He grabbed the dish soap and sponge and began frantically scrubbing the bowls, which I’m sure was a first.
“I just hate waiting for life to happen to me, Tae. I dunno, I think sometimes you’ve just got to put yourself out there, make things happen. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?”
Taemin shook his head. “I can’t figure out why you’re in such a hurry,” he continued. “You only get to be sixteen once, Jonghyun. Why do you want to rush it?”
I pretended to look around the room for someone else. “Oh, I could have sworn I heard my mother. Was that you talking?” I jested.
Taemin flicked a fistful of suds at me. He’s adorable when he’s laughing. He always looks like he’s embarrassed by it, but absolutely everything cracks him up.
********
Lying in bed that night, I had a crazy idea. No, idea is too strong a word. It wasn’t like I had any intention of it becoming reality; it was just a thought that popped into my head. Just a random thought.
What if I could get Eunhyuk to sleep with me?
My heart skipped a beat. OK, settle down, I told myself. This isn’t serious. I’m just having fun imagining it. I mean, that would solve one of my problems, right? Get that first one out of the way with someone who has some experience.
I chuckled. Such a dumb idea.
Or was it?
Someone that popular and smooth, off living at university-he probably slept with someone different every week, right? I’ll bet it’d be no big deal to him at all. I just needed to let him know I was interested.
My heart started racing.
Stop this! It’s nonsense. I’m not actually thinking of doing this.
But...on the other hand, I figured he could teach me a few things. Plus, if it went poorly, as situations often do with me, it wouldn’t even matter. He’d be off to uni again in a few days-no one would even know.
By then, my heart was pounding. I wasn’t really considering this. Was I?
Wednesday
By the next morning, the idea seemed ludicrous. What had totally made sense in the middle of the night now seemed so far gone, I just put it out of my thoughts.
That notion parked for the time being, my day went pretty smoothly. Onew helped me with Chem again at lunchtime. Of course, he wasn’t by himself-Amber and Luna were there too. Seriously, flies to honey. And even gym class went OK. I managed not to get hit in the head during dodge ball, and anytime I get through that class unscathed, it’s a good day.
After school, I made my way back to the gym to watch the soccer scrimmage. Key came in a few moments after me and wordlessly sat beside me on the bleachers. I watched as he opened his satchel and pulled out his book. He carefully opened it and placed his bookmark on his lap. He looked up slightly and paused for a minute, and I thought maybe he was going to say something, but he seemed to change his mind and put his nose back in his book.
The change room door opened and players began to emerge: Minho was first, with Taemin right behind him. Tae gave me a nod and then began kicking the ball back and forth with Minho, warming up. Soon Amber and Krystal were out there as well, along with Leo again and a few other kids whose faces are familiar but who I don’t really know.
I anxiously watched the door, waiting for Eunhyuk to appear. Just as the players were wrapping up their warm-up and organizing themselves into teams, he came sauntering through the main doors. As he walked in, I could feel my heart galloping stupidly, echoes of last night’s imaginings still running through my veins. Eunhyuk greeted his friends and disappeared into the change room.
I took that as an opportunity to work on breathing again and berate myself for always being so ridiculous.
Before long, Eunhyuk was back and the match started. I watched as players ran back and forth, dribbling the ball (something my feet have never successfully accomplished). The sound of a page turning reminded me that Key was beside me.
“What are you reading?”
Key pursed his lips and turned his gaze to the game without seeming to see it. Eventually he marked his page and closed his book, swivelling to face me. “Why are you talking to me all of a sudden?” he asked, eyebrow raised.
“Minho,” I replied. “He said you’re a good guy and that I should give you a chance.”
“Hmm.” Key chewed on his bottom lip. The players got louder in their excitement over something, and Key had to raise his voice. “He said something similar about you. Told me I should stop being so snarky.”
I laughed. “Snarky? He said that?”
“You know Minho-he’s too polite to tell me to stop being such a bitch.” Key smiled. It kind of caught me off guard; I’d never seen him smile before. But Key has a really beautiful face when he’s not scowling, and when he smiles his eyes light up and the cynicism that’s usually present drops away.
We momentarily ran out of things to say, so we turned our attention to the soccer match. Good timing too because just at that moment, Taemin broke away from Eunhyuk, who had been covering him, and scored on Leo.
“Alright Taemin!” I cheered. Running back to centre field, Taemin beamed up at me and waved enthusiastically with both hands.
“He’s cute,” noted Key.
“Yeah, he is. And how does he look that nice while playing sports? You should see me when I have to run around-definitely a hot mess.”
Key snorted. “So...you guys are...?”
I tilted my head, puzzled, and then I realized where Key was going. “Oh! Geez, no, it’s not like that. We’re friends.”
Key raised his eyebrow again. “You’re sure?”
I laughed. “Yes, I’m sure!”
Key pursed his lips again. Seems to be a thing with him when he’s contemplating something. “Well, if you say so,” he stated, but with a tone that suggested he wasn’t buying it at all.
It occurred to me that perhaps I should mention... “Well, while we’re sort of on the topic...” I paused, wondering if I was about to blow this “budding friendship” to pieces. “Minho...you know he’s...”
“Straight? Yeah, I know. He’s got that annoying straight-guy vibe about him. It’s fine.” Key dismissed it with a wave of his delicate hand. “He’s not really my type, anyway. Much too pedestrian.”
I snorted.
Then I noticed there was a break in the play for some reason and Minho was watching us chat. When we spotted him, he gave us two proud thumbs-up.
Key shook his head and chuckled. “He’s such a dad.”
“He is, isn’t he?!”
For the rest of the game, Key went back to reading his book, but the awkwardness between us had dissipated. And to my credit, I managed to maintain an outward calm demeanour while watching Eunhyuk run around in shorts that were much too flimsy to leave his god-given gifts to my imagination. So, fairly proud of that.
After the match, a bunch of us decided to walk to a nearby Lotteria and get some food. That’s where my composure started to wane.
At first, everything was fine. Taemin and I sat at a table, and I began nibbling on my fries while he prattled on excitedly about the game. I have to admit, I wasn’t exactly listening. It happens to me sometimes-I get lost watching Taemin talk. There’s just something about him talking that’s mesmerizing. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I find myself watching his little cheeks move and his tongue flicking out to lick his lips, and suddenly I realize I’m not following what he’s saying at all.
Taemin didn’t seem to notice. I was eating and nodding, and I guess he assumed I was listening. Besides, he glazes over a lot too, so he’s not exactly in a position to fault me.
“Taemin, you gave me the slip out there a couple of times today.” Eunhyuk was approaching with his tray of food, and to my sheer delight, it appeared he was planning to sit with us.
“Yeah, you must be getting past it,” Taemin joked. He hid his grinning mouth behind his hand, but his eyes were full of cheekiness.
Eunhyuk pretended to look shocked as he put his tray down and took a seat beside me. “You’re pushing your luck, little man,” he smiled. “You better hope we don’t get time for a rematch-I might have to put you in your place.”
The two continued their light-hearted teasing, and I swear I tried to pay attention in case the conversation turned to me at some point, but there were just too many distractions: the warmth of Eunhyuk’s thigh against my leg, the veins moving in his forearms as he ripped open a packet of ketchup, the smooth tones of his voice caressing my ears, the fact that his lips were so close...just a few inches away...if I were to lean forward just a bit, I’d be able to press-
I realized the lips had stopped moving. And they were still turned to me, as was the rest of Eunhyuk’s gorgeous face. Shit, I definitely missed something. “I’m sorry, I was busy thinking about...Chemistry. Did you ask me something?”
Eunhyuk flashed a wide smile at me. “Ease up, Jonghyun. You shouldn’t get so stressed about school.”
“He’s usually not,” Taemin interjected, rolling his eyes.
“I was asking about your band.”
Asking about my band. He actually wanted to know about me. I did my best to be cool and carry on a reasonable conversation-which is not that hard for me when it comes to talking about music. Once I got going, I told him about how we started, some of the gigs we’ve played, and even my songwriting. He was particularly interested in that. Apparently his band only did cover tunes, and he thinks people who write music are pretty amazing. How cool is that?
When the topic segued back to sports, I was still feeling a warm glow of pride. Someone this awesome actually liked me, and even admired something about me. I think he winked at me at one point, although he may have had something in his eye.
By the time we all broke up and went our own ways, I was confident he was into me. Pretty confident. Maybe. OK, I have to admit, I don’t have a great track record for reading when people are into me, but this time I felt...it was definitely likely a possibility.
********
Taemin came back to my place afterward, and we played video games. Lately we’ve been really hooked on the online street races in GTA-cars, planes, country, city, you name it. Before we knew it, we’d been playing for hours, so Taemin ended up sleeping over.
He does that a lot-stays at my house until he’s too tired to head home, and then just crashes on my bed. I don’t mind. My bed’s big. It’s funny, though, we always fall asleep on our own sides, but invariably the next morning, I’m curled up around him like he’s a teddy bear. I’m grateful, and a little surprised, that he never teases me about it.
Once Taemin fell asleep, I found myself thinking about Eunhyuk again-about my idea. After the scene at Lotteria, it really didn’t seem that far-fetched.
I made a mental list of pros and cons. Pro: The guy’s super hot. Con: I don’t actually know if we’re compatible…position-wise. Pro: He’s a man, and being with him would make me a man…sort of. Con: He might not go for it. Pro: That wouldn’t matter much because he’d be leaving the next day, and I wouldn’t even have to deal with it. Pro: I’ll bet it would feel amazing. Pro: No more virginity-by Saturday morning, that label would be behind me for the rest of my life.
By the time I’d exhausted all possibilities, and myself in the process, it was really looking like this was quite a brilliant idea. So I rolled over to give Taemin more room, and went to sleep.
Thursday
Thursday morning was distinctly different from Wednesday. This time, I awoke to find that my idea still seemed like a good one. It seemed my mind was made up.
The only problem left was a distinct lack of time. I was going to have to act fast to make this happen. The morning was busy, though, and before I knew it, Taemin and I were in the caf for lunch, and I still hadn’t made any headway on a plan.
Minho and Key came and joined us, Minho beside Tae and Key beside Minho. It was pretty quiet because I don’t know Key that well yet, and Taemin doesn’t know him at all. Taemin was totally out of it anyway. He mostly sat there staring into space, as he does, and occasionally rubbing his eyes.
At one point, while Minho was talking, a big yawn snuck up on Taemin.
“Yah!” Minho jostled him. “Am I boring you?” He picked up his milk carton and took a swig.
“No, sorry, Minho. I didn’t get much sleep. Jonghyun’s dick was poking me in the butt half the night.”
“Tae-” I began to protest but was halted by a spray of milk hitting me in the face.
Startled, I looked up to see Minho half-laughing, half-choking. Beside him, Key began cackling, loud and with abandon. His head was thrown back and he was slapping his knee.
Turns out, Key’s laugh is completely infectious. It was only moments before Taemin and I were overtaken with it too. So the four of us sat there, lunches abandoned, clutching our stomachs and gasping for air. I wasn’t even sure what each of us was laughing about-my lack of self-control, Taemin’s bluntness, Minho having ejected milk out of his nose (and the fact that I was wearing it), or even Key himself. But every time we started to wind down and wipe our eyes, one of us would peel off again and we’d all lose it.
Half an hour later in math class, my stomach was aching and I was still chortling to myself.
For much of the afternoon, I was focused on the usual stuff, but every now and then, my system was shocked into a nervous state as I remembered that by tomorrow night, I might be sleeping with Eunhyuk. On more than one occasion, I considered abandoning the idea. However, I chalked that up to sheer nerves, not anything that deserved much consideration. Nonetheless, by the time school ended, I still hadn’t thought of a way to get Eunhyuk over to my house.
I was more than distracted after school as Taemin and I headed to the store for snacks. In fact, I didn’t even notice Key at the bus stop until he called out.
“Hey! Are you back to ignoring me?”
I followed the voice and spotted him within the Plexiglas shelter only a few feet away. “Oh shit, sorry Key. No, I’m just lost in my own world, I guess. Hey, where are you heading?”
“Home, where else?”
I checked the sign. “Isn’t this the cross-town bus?”
“Yeah, I live in the east end.” The breeze picked up and snuck its way into the shelter, coercing a strand of Key’s hair to stand at attention. He immediately smoothed it down, but a moment later, it was wafting about in the air again.
Taemin, meanwhile, was keeping his eye on a bug that was crawling its way up the shelter wall.
“Damn, that’s a long way to come just for school,” I commiserated. “I assumed you’d moved here. Why are you bothering to come all the way to this dump of a school?”
Key’s hand was glued to the side of his head now in an effort to keep his hair looking nice. I guess he figured it looked less dumb than strands of his hair dancing the samba. I wasn’t convinced.
“My last school sucked. Full of jerks-I just didn’t feel like putting up with their dumbass antics anymore.”
Even standing there with his hand propped on his head, Key had an air of dignity. I decided not to dig. If Key didn’t want to get into details, I was OK with that.
“There are definitely jerks here too,” I admitted, recalling the abuse I took over the “Barbie Girl” incident. “But if you have a solid group of friends, you’ll survive.”
“Yeah? Do you think I’ll have a solid group of friends?” he asked, his voice almost a whisper.
“You’re getting there.” I patted his shoulder. “Right, Taemin?”
“Huh?” Taemin asked, not taking his eye off the bug.
Key laughed. “Definitely cute,” he said with a wink in my direction. “Oh, here it comes.” Key gestured down the road with his free hand. He threw his satchel over his shoulder and moved out of the shelter into the wind. Both hands clamped on his head now, he approached the bus as it slowed to a stop in front of him. “See you tomorrow,” he called out as the bus door opened and he climbed inside.
********
I couldn’t believe my good fortune when we got to the store. Taemin and I were busy debating between seaweed and potato snacks when, out of nowhere, Eunhyuk appeared. “Hey little man,” he said, mussing up Taemin’s hair. Taemin laughed and ducked away from him. “Hi Jonghyun,” Eunhyuk said, giving me a nod. “Can’t decide?”
“I think we might need both. I’m having a party,” I blurted out.
“Wha-?” Taemin turned to look at me, mouth hanging open.
“Tomorrow night,” I pretended to remind him. “What did you think we were buying these for?” I teased.
“I’m hungry,” Taemin replied, completely baffled.
“Well, eat the food you have at home,” I stated, grabbing several bags off the shelf and piling them up in Taemin’s arms. “These are for tomorrow.”
“Here, put them in my buggy,” Eunhyuk offered, relieving his neighbour of the balancing act with the chips. “I don’t have much to get.” Then to me, “Tomorrow night, huh?”
I suppressed my excitement. The guy was practically inviting himself! “Yeah,” I answered as casually as possible. “I’ve been hoping I’d get a chance to let you know. Everyone’s coming.”
Taemin, mouth still agape, looked back and forth between Eunhyuk and me like he was watching a tennis match.
We began moving through the aisles, picking up items on Eunhyuk’s list. “Do you need pop?” he asked as we approached the cases of cans. “Um...” I suddenly realized that I’d be lucky if I had enough money for the chips, let alone drinks. And now that everything was in Eunhyuk’s buggy, I couldn’t stall and put them back after he left. I scratched my head absentmindedly, scouring my mind for an excuse. “Um...the others are going to bring some drinks.”
“Oh, yeah? Well, let me get some of the chips then,” he offered.
Luck was with me today, I realized as we got to the register. I had just enough money to buy my share of the food after Eunhyuk had paid for his and half of mine. Not to mention just running into him like this. I was starting to think this was going to be easy.
We parted ways with Eunhyuk at the store, and Taemin helped me carry the snacks home. For some reason, I kept up the charade that I had told him about the party and he had just forgotten. I don’t know why. In retrospect it was pretty dumb, and I don’t think Taemin bought it. I guess I just figured that if I came clean, he’d tell me I was rushing things and try to talk me out of it.
And I really did not want to be talked out of it. I knew much of what I do ends up going badly, but I had to try. I was sure if I kept putting myself out there, good things would eventually happen.
Of course, after I sent Taemin home, I was left scrambling to throw together an actual party. I asked as many people as I could think of, and I hoped to god it didn’t snowball out of control. My mom would kill me if she came home to a huge mess and kids draped all over the house at two in the morning.
By the time I gave up and dropped into bed, I had seven yesses, five nos, three maybes, and a promise from Onew that he’d invite more people. It was starting to look like I’d have a decent turnout, after all. Not bad for a party that didn’t exist just a few hours ago.
Pairings: Jonghyun/Taemin, Minho/Key, Jonghyun/Key, Jonghyun/Eunhyuk
Rating: PG
Notes: Humour fic; mild cursing, references to sexual situations
Final Word Count: 12,611
Late Friday night, The Hall of Shame (aka, my room)
The banging on my door is getting louder and more insistent, so I pull the covers up tighter around my head in an effort to block it out. To be honest, it’s getting kind of hot and muggy in here, but I’m busy trying to wallow in self-pity, so for now I’m sticking with the plan.
There’s a break in the thumping. “C’mon, Jonghyun, open up!”
And...the banging recommences. Good thing mom’s on night shift and isn’t at home to hear all this.
That’s Taemin out there making a racket. He’s my best friend and a clueless loser. I know, that doesn’t sound very charitable of me. He really is a good guy, but I’m not kidding about the clueless part. The kid has no filter.
“It wasn’t that bad, Jonghyun! I’ll bet no one even remembers it!”
“Go home, Taemin!” I call out, although my head’s now under the pillow, so I guess there’s a good chance he heard only muffled grunts.
No one even remembers it. There’s no way. By Monday, I will be the joke of the school, just like last time. But this time’s my fault-last time it was Taemin’s. At least now he’s stuck out there in the hall instead of in here with me. You see, I have a bolt on my bedroom door. Unusual? Well, Taemin’s the reason for that too. Everything’s connected in one embarrassing heap.
Let me back up a little. A few months ago, I was in my room after school, minding my own business, when Taemin just sauntered right on in with no warning. At the time, I happened to be a little compromised-polishing the banister. You know, playing a flute solo. Anyway, as I said, Taemin waltzed in and found me on my bed, a pot of margarine by my side and me furiously abusing myself to “Barbie Girl.” I know, I know. It’s not that I like the song. It’s just, I don’t know, it works, OK? Maybe it’s the beat or something.
At any rate, after two or three seconds of standing before me frozen and stunned, Taemin dissolved into a puddle of tears on my floor, smacking his hand on the hardwood and struggling to breathe.
I’ll admit, I probably looked pretty funny. But a good friend would have had the sense to keep this between us, hopefully never to be spoken of again. But no, Taemin had to tell people. “Just a few,” he said in his defense the next day, when we arrived at school and literally everybody knew. And he was honestly surprised. See what I mean? A clueless loser. Meanwhile, I had to spend the next month listening to countless unoriginal comments about me “yanking on my Ken doll.” It was endless.
So now there’s a bolt on the door, and Taemin is stuck on the other side, which suits me much better.
Come to think of it, he’s gone kind of quiet. I guess his noodley arm got tired. He’s still there, though, I’m sure of that. He’s faithful, like a dog. I’ll probably find him curled up asleep in front of the door when I finally open it. Maybe I’ll toss a blanket and pillow out there for him.
Anyway, now that it’s silent again, I can get back to my self-pity, which is why I’m here in the first place. To think about how things always go wrong for me. To consider what I fool I am. To lie here and replay the events of the evening in horrifying detail.
But I’m getting ahead of myself again. I should start when this whole debacle began-it’s hard to believe it was just a few days ago.
The Previous Monday
“Hey, Jonghyun! You trying out for basketball this afternoon?”
That was Onew. He knows full well that sports and I aren’t compatible, but he likes to have a little fun with me.
“You know I’ll be there,” I replied, going along with it. Onew took a seat opposite me, placing his lunch tray on the table. The spices from his meal instantly assaulted my nose, almost making my eyes water. I seriously don’t know how he can eat that stuff, but it doesn’t faze him in the least. I think I’ll stick with my tamer dumplings.
Krystal plunked herself down beside him; she’s one of the school’s cheerleaders. Onew draws girls like flies to honey. I’d be jealous of him if I had any interest in girls.
Krystal pulled a lollipop out of her mouth with a pop. “Really, basketball?” she asked. “Aren’t you a little,” she paused, “...um...busy with your music?”
I knew she was thinking I’m too short, but I appreciated the last-minute save. Krystal’s alright. She went back to sucking on her candy and didn’t push the fact that I hadn’t answered.
“How’d you do in Chem?” Onew asked, scooping up a mass of sauce-covered rice and stuffing his cheeks. Somehow he’s even cute with his face full of food. From the way she was watching him, I would say Krystal thinks so too.
I groaned and buried my face in my hands. “Mr. Mun hates me. You know that, right? I swear he made that test as hard as humanly possible.”
“I thought it was pretty easy,” Onew replied with a shrug, his chopsticks preparing the next mouthful.
From anyone else, this would be an annoying comment-a jab at my incompetence, unnecessary bragging about his skills. But with Onew, it’s just the truth.
“I can help you before the next test if you want,” he offered, chomping enthusiastically on some strips of beef.
Before I could answer, Taemin came breezing into the cafeteria and squished himself onto the bench beside Onew, forcing him and Krystal to scoot over. “Guess who’s back?” he announced, a big grin on his face.
Onew slowed his chewing marginally and tipped his head back slightly, eyes raised in thought. After a moment he shook his head and shrugged. “Hint?”
“He graduated two years ago,” Taemin offered, face lit with enjoyment at his little game.
“Taemin, that was, like, a hundred people,” Onew protested.
“Next hint?” Krystal asked, leaning around Onew.
“He played soccer.”
“Donghae?” she guessed, tossing her lollipop stick into a nearby garbage can.
“Close!” Taemin answered, his grin a mile wide.
“Eunhyuk!” she answered.
“Yep!” Taemin nodded, reaching absentmindedly to help himself to my food.
“Hey!” I protested.
Taemin startled for a moment, surprised to see my chopsticks in his hand. Then he continued to steal my food. “I’m hungry,” he said in justification.
“What’s he doing back?” Onew asked.
“Well, he’s not back, back, obviously. But he’s on winter break at uni, so he came home for a visit. He’s in the gym right now shooting hoops with Minho.”
“Sounds about right,” responded Onew.
“Who’s Eunhyuk?” I asked, rescuing my last dumpling from Taemin’s grasp.
“Oh, that’s right, you weren’t here yet,” Krystal began. “He was only the most popular guy in the school. Good at sports, funny, smart, gorgeous...”
“Great smile,” Onew added before taking a sip of his milk.
“Yeah, great smile,” Krystal agreed, resting her chin on her palm dreamily. “Hey, let’s go to the gym!” she suggested, jumping to her feet.
Onew shoved the last couple of bites in his mouth and got up. “You coming?” he mumbled through his food.
Since, thanks to Taemin, my plate was now empty too, I figured I may as well tag along. Onew and I put our trays on the rack by the door, and the four of us headed toward the gym, Taemin dragging a pencil along the metal lockers, sending metallic clinks clacking down the hall.
Our math teacher stuck her head out of the classroom door. “Taemin!” she called out. “Cut the noise!”
Taemin stopped, turned, and bowed slightly. “Sorry, Miss Park.” Then he spun around and ran to catch up with us.
“And no running in the halls!” she shouted after him.
“Sorry about that too, Miss Park,” Taemin yelled, giggling and giving her a wave.
It’s a good thing he’s so cute. Taemin has this endearing quality that allows him to get away with murder. He’s adorable, plus he never actually means any harm. He just doesn’t think.
As expected, Miss Park just shook her head and went back in her class, letting him continue on his way.
When we got to the gym, the game was still on. Sneakers squeaked on the polished floor as we made our way up into the bleachers. Minho and Leo versus Amber and a blond guy I didn’t know but assumed was Eunhyuk, the cause of all the buzz. I don’t know who was ahead at that point, but as we took our seats, Leo passed the ball under Eunhyuk’s arm to Minho, who drove to the net and sunk a two-pointer. I looked around as a few kids watching the game hooted and hollered.
It was then that I noticed Key sitting by himself at the top of the bleachers, reading a book. He’s new-only been here about a month. For some reason, Minho hangs out with him. Beats me why. He always seems to be in a bad mood, whenever I’m around at least. Of course, he picked that moment to look up and catch me watching him. I tried to turn away quickly, but not before Key shot me an icy stare. I shivered.
“Booo!” a voice snapped me out of my thoughts. “You travelled!”
Minho stopped short and looked around for the source.
“You took, like, four steps,” called out Onew, gesturing at the distance.
“I did not!”
“Yeah, you did. Didn’t he?” Onew asked Taemin, who nodded in agreement.
“I took two,” Minho protested. He held up his hand for the ball, and Amber tossed it over to him. Minho furrowed his brow and looked at the floor, trying to find the exact place where he had been when Leo passed him the ball.
Concentrating, he set up again: one, two, swish.
He grabbed the ball and looked up at Onew. “That’s exactly what I did,” he argued, pointing behind him.
“Nope,” insisted Onew, shaking his head. “At least four steps. You started farther back.”
“I did not!” Minho looked around in disbelief at his fellow athletes. He was so absorbed in proving his point, he completely missed the fact that Onew and Taemin were starting to lose it, greatly amused by how easy it was to yank Minho’s chain. Snickers could be heard here and there in the bleachers too, but Minho was on a mission. “That was perfectly good, right, Amber?”
“Sorry, dude, I think Leo’s arm was blocking my view,” she answered, playing along.
Minho ran his hand through his hair in frustration. “Eunhyuk, you saw it. It was two, right?”
Eunhyuk turned up his hands and shook his head like he wasn’t sure, so Minho set up the shot again, being careful to start exactly where he had before. One, two, and shoot.
I risked a quick glance over at Key. He had looked up from his book and seemed to be assessing the situation. I guess he realized the guys weren’t serious because he went back to reading.
“Minho!” I yelled.
“What?!” answered an exasperated Minho, ready to demonstrate again in case we hadn’t fully appreciated his point yet.
“Dude, they’re joking.”
Minho stared at me, with his mouth open and his saucer eyes, for a two-count before Onew and Taemin finally lost control, collapsing on each other in peals of laughter. Soon, everyone else joined in.
“They’re just messing with you, Minho. It was two,” I assured him.
Minho nodded, feeling validated, then took the opportunity to lob the ball into the stands where it beaned Taemin off the shoulder.
“Ow!” Taemin grabbed his arm, hamming it up. “It was Onew, not me,” he laughed. Onew was too far gone to respond, wiping tears from his cheeks.
Decorum abandoned, the game began wrapping up. Eunhyuk clapped Minho on the back. “Good game, man. I’m going to grab a shower,” he said, pulling off his t-shirt. He pointed at Minho: “Soccer-here, Wednesday, after school.”
He flashed Minho a 100-watt smile, and between that and the ripped abs, I found myself fully grasping the dazed look Krystal had sported in the caf. He had angular features that could be intense one moment and cheerful the next. And he was built. God, the definition. It made the rest of us look like scrawny teenagers, which of course we are.
My eyes followed him as he jogged across the gym to the change room. And then my mind followed him into the shower, with thoughts of suds running down his lean body. I shook the image away and wandered over to Taemin.
“So...Eunhyuk. That’s him, huh?”
“Yep,” said Taemin, getting up to leave.
I trotted along beside him. “So...uh...tell me about him. Did you know him much when he was here?”
“Yeah. I mean, we weren’t in the same circle-he’s four years older than us. He graduated the spring before you moved here. But his family lives next door, so I’ve known him forever.” Taemin leapt down off the bleachers. I sat on my butt and slid after him. “He moved away to university two years ago.”
“Next door? Wow. How come you never mentioned him?”
“I dunno. I guess I haven’t seen him much since I’ve known you.” Taemin stopped walking and squinted his eyes suspiciously at me. “What’s with all the questions?”
I could feel my face getting red. “He’s...kind of gorgeous, huh?”
“God, yes. You should see him naked,” Taemin said, on the move again.
“What?!” I trotted to catch up. Taemin and his stupid long legs. “Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said, grabbing his arm and turning him toward me.
Taemin curled his hand in front of his mouth. His cheeks were round, and his eyes curled into little crescents above them. “I shouldn’t say,” he whispered.
“Nuh-uh, Taemin. You don’t get to drop that piece of info and then move on. Details.” I curled my fingers, gesturing for information.
Taemin looked around. “OK, fine. C’mere.” He pulled me into an empty classroom, pushed the door shut, and leaned back against the chalk ledge.
“Well,” I prompted impatiently.
“His bedroom window’s opposite mine, OK? And he never used to pull the blinds down.”
My jaw dropped open. “You stalker! You used to spy on him?” I sat down on the nearest desk, and it creaked in protest.
“Look, he’s beautiful, OK? And a lot older than me. And...I was...curious. I was, like, nine when I first spotted him.” Taemin gestured at me. “Tell me you would have looked away.”
“I totally would have. Taemin, you have no shame.” I shook my head disapprovingly.
“You would not!” Taemin moved forward and shoved me just hard enough to set me off-balance. I slid to my feet.
“Nope, one of us isn’t a perv.” I held up my palm to him.
“You’re such a liar.”
I laughed. “OK, OK,” I admitted. “So, how many times did you see him?”
“I’m not sure.” Taemin bit his lip and looked up at the ceiling like he was mentally doing the math. “Maybe...every day for about five years?”
“What?! Taemin, you must be kidding.”
“Well, maybe not every day because he sometimes undressed after I was asleep. But most of the time I managed to wait up for him. I was tired for years,” he joked.
The school bell rang.
“Shit! I’m going to be late for math! Miss Park’s already annoyed with me for earlier.” Taemin opened the door and hurried to leave.
I grabbed his hand. “Hang on. You’ve got chalk dust all over your ass,” I said brushing it off.
“Now who’s the perv?” Taemin grinned and took off down the hall.
Tuesday
A large yawn took a hold of me, and I covered my mouth hoping my teacher wouldn’t notice. Man, was I tired. It served me right. I lay in bed thinking too long about Eunhyuk last night. I’m not sure why I was so entranced with him. He’s great looking, but geez I just met the guy. I’m not usually taken with people quite that fast. I think it was because he’s older. An actual adult, not a “kid” like my friends and me. I can’t wait to be twenty like him-so confident and independent. I just want to take this whole growing up thing and rip it off like a Band-Aid. Get all those awkward firsts out of the way.
Like sex, for example. I want it, but I also want it over with. The first time out of the way for good. No more worrying about it.
Naturally, that got me daydreaming about sex with Eunhyuk, so when Mr. Mun asked me a question I no doubt would have had trouble with anyway, I had no chance whatsoever. Onew chuckled beside me. Sulli leaned around him. “It’s six,” she whispered.
“Six?” I answered, tentatively.
“That’s your answer. Six.” Mr. Mun leaned back on his desk and crossed his arms across his chest. Not a good sign.
“Um...well, it depends how you look at it?” I could feel my ears starting to burn.
“The chemical composition of sulphuric acid is six,” Mr. Mun stated, his voice flat.
“Oh...um...I meant, it’s got six molecules,” I corrected, taking a shot in the dark.
“No.”
Mr. Mun abandoned his hopes for me and moved on to another student.
“Thanks a lot,” I whispered to Sulli, who was busy giggling with Onew at my misery. “Must be so nice to have friends who are actually helpful,” I admonished them.
“I’m free at lunch,” Onew began, apologetically. “I’ll help you then. We can meet in the caf for a bit, OK?” He patted my arm.
He was true to his word.
********
After lunch, I ran into Minho and Key in the hall. As soon as he saw me, Key took that as his cue to leave and veered off down an adjacent hallway. Minho and I walked to gym class together.
“What’s the deal with him, Minho? I don’t understand why you hang out with him.”
“Aw, Key’s a good guy.”
“Really? Because I’ve only ever seen him be prickly at best and cold at worst. He never talks to anyone-except you, of course.”
“Do you talk to him?”
“No,” I scoffed. “I think he hates me. Seriously, Minho, I get zero vibes from the guy that he wants a conversation out of me.”
Minho cocked his head to one side. “You might be surprised,” he started. “I think he’s a little shy. Something tells me his experience at his last school wasn’t so hot. Maybe he’s taking the approach of rejecting people before they can reject him.” Minho opened the change room door and waited for me to walk through ahead of him. “You know, it wasn’t that long ago you were the new guy in town,” he reminded me. “You remember how hard it was when you arrived a couple of years ago? Just talk to him. I promise, he’s really a solid guy.”
I shrugged. Minho was right about one thing: it really did take a while for me to fit in. And as much as he can be kind of gullible at times, Minho’s a good judge of character. “Fine, I’ll try,” I agreed. “But I’m not getting my hopes up.”
********
Gym class was, of course, disastrous. Not for Minho the Athlete, but for me. I couldn’t wait for it to be over so I could finally go to music class and feel like I belonged. My teacher, Mr. Kim, is the best. Lately he’s gone off curriculum with me and is letting me write songs during class. At least that’s one class where I’m guaranteed an A.
After music I wandered to the library in search of Minho. Instead, I found his counterpart, Key, reading again. Maybe that’s all this kid ever does.
“Um, hey.”
Key looked up from his book briefly, but didn’t say anything. He went back to reading.
“I’m looking for Minho. You seen him?”
“No.”
OK. That was one more word than I expected. I sat down sort of across from him and opened my knapsack, fishing around for my math book. The librarian glanced up at us, so I kept my voice down. “I was hoping we could work on math together,” I continued, plopping my book down in front of me. “He’s not great at it,” I prattled on, “but he’s better than me.”
I opened up my book and began flipping pages to get to the section on triangles.
To my surprise, Key replied. “Math’s not really my thing either.”
I smiled and nodded, increasingly aware of the pregnant pause that now hung between us. “Um...hey, I like your shirt,” I offered, trying to fill the space. “The sleeves...they’re cool.”
Key looked up from his book again. I think it was the first time he ever looked at me without shooting daggers. He pursed his lips, seemingly scanning my comment for sarcasm. “Thanks,” he said eventually. “I made it.”
“You’re kidding!” I exclaimed, and then remembered to drop my voice again. “How’d you learn to do that?”
“My grandmother taught me.” He closed up his book.
Feeling encouraged, I tried to keep the conversation going. “Nice.”
Great comeback, right?
Key got up and threw his satchel over his shoulder.
“Hey, you playing in that soccer match after school tomorrow?” I blurted out.
The librarian shhh’d me, and I nodded in apology.
“Pfft, no,” Key whispered. “Sports are worse than math.”
“Cool, that’s two things we have in common.” I laughed awkwardly.
Key spun toward the door, and as I was thinking he was going to just leave, I heard a quiet, “See ya.”
I exhaled with relief. Well, that could have gone worse. We’re not exactly besties, but I feel I made a little headway. Maybe.
********
“Hey, let’s hang out at your house today,” I suggested.
“Why?” asked Taemin. “We always go to your house.”
We were sitting on the front steps of school. For the end of February, it was really pretty mild out.
I was sitting behind Taemin, playing with his hair-it’s a favourite pastime. Seriously, his hair is so soft. And it smells nice too. I leaned forward to have a quick sniff at the nape of his neck. “No reason,” I replied. “Just for a change.”
Taemin spun around and pointed at me accusingly. “You’re hoping we’ll see Eunhyuk,” he teased.
“Me?” I tried to look offended. “No, I just thought it would be different.”
“Don’t lie to me, Kim Jonghyun. I know you too well,” he warned. “Fine, we’ll go to my house, but only until dinner ’cause I have chores to do.”
********
Luck was with me. When we arrived at Taemin’s house, Eunhyuk was outside on his parents’ drive, washing his car. He was wearing skinny jeans that hugged his ass as he bent down to dip his sponge in the soapy water bucket. It was like a cliché scene from a made-for-TV movie, but in my mind it was perfection.
“Hi Eunhyuk!” Taemin called out.
Eunhyuk stopped scrubbing the road salt off his car door and turned around. His face lit up when he saw Taemin, and he dropped his sponge in the bucket with a splosh and came over to where we were standing on Taemin’s front lawn. “Taemin! Hey, kid, how’re you doing? Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to talk to you yesterday.” He wiped his wet hand on his jeans and extended it.
“That’s OK,” said Taemin, shaking his hand. “I’m good,” he nodded. Then, remembering me standing there. “Oh, this is my friend Jonghyun.” He gestured toward me. “Jonghyun, this is Eunhyuk.”
“Hi,” I said, brain spinning for something to say while I shook his damp hand. “I see you’re wearing clothes today.” Great. Nice going, brain.
“Excuse me?”
“Yesterday, after the basketball match, you...uh...” I mimed pulling off a shirt. Jonghyun, just shut up. “Um...never mind.”
To my relief, Eunhyuk just laughed. “So what are you two up to?”
“Hanging out,” said Taemin. And then, to my dismay, “We’ll probably play some video games.”
Sigh. That meant going inside. I wanted a reason to stay out here with Eunhyuk, even for a few minutes. “Unless you need help washing the car,” I suggested.
“Nah, I’m good. I think she’s pretty much done,” Eunhyuk replied, looking her over. “You boys go have fun. I’ll catch you later.”
We waved goodbye and turned to head to the house when he called out again. “Hey, Taemin, are you playing soccer after school tomorrow?”
“You bet!”
“How about you, Jonghyun?”
“Uh, no, soccer’s not really my...”
“He’s a musician,” Taemin offered proudly.
Eunhyuk looked impressed. “A musician? Wow.”
“Yeah, he’s really good.” Turning to me, “But you’re going to come and watch us play right?”
“Of course!”
“Great! See you both then,” Eunhyuk called out before picking up his bucket. I stared as his lithe body disappeared between the houses.
Taemin snapped his fingers in my face. “Earth to Jonghyun.”
“Sorry,” I said, following him to his side door. “Do you think we’ll ever be that cool, Taemin? I mean, he just seems so together, doesn’t he?”
“I’m already cool. But you? Probably not,” he laughed.
I gave him a light punch in the arm.
“You worry too much,” he said, unlocking the side door and stepping aside for me to enter. He followed me in, threw his knapsack in the corner, and sat on the stairs unlacing his shoes. “Some people are cool. Others have different things going for them. Take you-people like you, Jonghyun. Who cares if you’re not all smooth?”
“I guess,” I replied, lining up my shoes beside his. “It would just be nice not to be so awkward.”
“But you’re cute when you’re awkward.” Taemin made a pouty face and then ran off to the kitchen before I could swat him.
I sat down at Taemin’s kitchen table and waited while cupboard doors banged open and closed as Taemin rummaged for snacks. It was like someone had given him 10 seconds to find what he was looking for.
“Oh!” He suddenly spun around. “Your mom’s still on nights, isn’t she?”
I nodded. “Yeah, why?”
“I’ll make you dinner!” he said, heading back over to the first cupboard.
Dinner? I’ve known Taemin for two years now. He’s not exactly a master chef.
“Found it!” Taemin reached deep into the cupboard and retrieved something crinkly. Then he turned and held up two packets of instant ramen beside each of his proud cheeks.
I raised my eyebrows.
“Just wait and see,” said Taemin, putting them on the counter and searching for a saucepan. Apparently he doesn’t know his way around the kitchen because that took a few tries as well. “I make it differently.”
Great.
“Need any help?”
“Nah.” Taemin waved me off. “I got this.”
While Taemin busied himself with putting the water on to boil and getting ingredients out of the fridge, I wandered into the living room. Through the front window, I could see Eunhyuk busily towel-drying the windows of his car. His lips were moving, but I didn’t see anyone else around. I pressed my ear to the window. He had the car stereo playing and was rapping along with a song. Damn.
“You’re not allergic to eggs, are you?” Taemin called out.
I went back to the kitchen. Taemin had the noodles on a rolling boil and was about to crack an egg into the pot.
“Nope, no allergies.”
“Watch this.”
I sidled up behind him and rested my chin on his shoulder. Taemin cracked the egg on the side of the pot and expertly broke it open with one hand, plopping its contents neatly into the saucepan.
“Taemin, you’re amazing.” I took my seat at the table again and put my feet up on the chair beside me.
Taemin grabbed another egg and tried to duplicate the feat-it didn’t go so well this time. Well, one out of two. He grabbed a small spoon out of a nearby drawer and began chasing bits of eggshell around the pot. Every time he nearly had one extricated, it slid off the spoon at the last minute, back into our dinner. This was going to take a while.
By the time the eggs were cooked, Taemin had most of the eggshell out, so he turned his attention to his remaining ingredients: sesame oil and two slices of plastic cheese. He poured a splash of the former into the pot. “Almost ready,” he announced, placing two sets of chopsticks on the table.
Taemin began banging cupboard doors again until he found a couple of bowls. He scooped an egg into each bowl, followed it with a mass of noodles, and poured in the remaining soup. Then he placed a slice of cheese on the top of each bowl.
“Ta-da!” he sang, placing the bowls on the table. He pushed my feet off the chair and took a seat.
I peered into my bowl. The cheese was melting rapidly and sliding to the bottom, but the rest looked fairly nicely cooked, and it didn’t smell half-bad.
Taemin sat waiting. Clearly I was to try it first. Tentatively, I dipped my chopsticks into the bowl and retrieved some noodles. I blew on them longer than was necessary because I knew Taemin was waiting.
“C’mon already!” he nagged.
I laughed and popped the food in my mouth. I nodded approvingly as I chewed-it was really pretty decent.
“Ha! See, you didn’t know I could cook, did you?” He sat with his chest puffed out, emanating an air of superiority.
“I did not. You’re a wonder,” I conceded.
Taemin and I ate in silence for a minute or two. I watched as he tried to corner his egg-it gave him the slip a couple of times.
“So, your neighbour is out there rapping while he dries his car,” I mentioned, trying to sound like it didn’t really matter to me.
“Oh, yeah?” he said, scraping a piece of eggshell off his tongue. “He and Donghae used to be in a band in high school. I had forgotten about that. They were good.”
Having finished my noodles, I picked up the bowl and drank the rest of the soup. “He was the rapper?”
“Yeah, but he sang too. I don’t think he played an instrument. But he can move on stage, boy. I remember this one performance, he had dyed his hair blue and he was strutting around on stage with a jewelled cane, swivelling his hips.” Taemin paused and drank the rest of his soup from his bowl as I had. “I think some of the teachers thought he went a bit over the top, but Miss Park sure looked impressed. The school went crazy for him after that.”
“Damn, I wish I’d seen that. You think he still performs?” I ran my finger across the bottom of the bowl and scooped out a lump of cheese.
“Not that I know of. Too bad, though, it was something.”
I got up and fetched us each a glass of water. “What do you think he’s like in bed?” I guess that wasn’t a very smooth segue, but after hearing about his swivelling hips, that’s where my mind was yet again.
“What?” Taemin’s mouth dropped open.
“Sex, what do you think he’s like?”
“I don’t know, Jonghyun!” Taemin’s cheeks began to redden. He grabbed our bowls and put them in the sink.
“C’mon, you don’t think about sex?”
“No...well, yes...but I don’t think about talking about sex, that’s for sure.”
“Lately, I think about sex all the time,” I said, ignoring his attempt to avoid the subject. “Like, all the time. Maybe I’d even be passing Chemistry if I could actually pay attention to it, but as soon as Mun starts droning on about covalent bonds pairing or coupling reactions, my brain is right back to sex.” My speech was picking up speed. “And I’m so full of questions: How do you even let someone know you want it? How do you know who’s gonna do what? Should I be facing up? Down? Sideways?”
“Oh my god, Jonghyun, stop.” By then Taemin’s whole face was pink. He grabbed the dish soap and sponge and began frantically scrubbing the bowls, which I’m sure was a first.
“I just hate waiting for life to happen to me, Tae. I dunno, I think sometimes you’ve just got to put yourself out there, make things happen. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?”
Taemin shook his head. “I can’t figure out why you’re in such a hurry,” he continued. “You only get to be sixteen once, Jonghyun. Why do you want to rush it?”
I pretended to look around the room for someone else. “Oh, I could have sworn I heard my mother. Was that you talking?” I jested.
Taemin flicked a fistful of suds at me. He’s adorable when he’s laughing. He always looks like he’s embarrassed by it, but absolutely everything cracks him up.
********
Lying in bed that night, I had a crazy idea. No, idea is too strong a word. It wasn’t like I had any intention of it becoming reality; it was just a thought that popped into my head. Just a random thought.
What if I could get Eunhyuk to sleep with me?
My heart skipped a beat. OK, settle down, I told myself. This isn’t serious. I’m just having fun imagining it. I mean, that would solve one of my problems, right? Get that first one out of the way with someone who has some experience.
I chuckled. Such a dumb idea.
Or was it?
Someone that popular and smooth, off living at university-he probably slept with someone different every week, right? I’ll bet it’d be no big deal to him at all. I just needed to let him know I was interested.
My heart started racing.
Stop this! It’s nonsense. I’m not actually thinking of doing this.
But...on the other hand, I figured he could teach me a few things. Plus, if it went poorly, as situations often do with me, it wouldn’t even matter. He’d be off to uni again in a few days-no one would even know.
By then, my heart was pounding. I wasn’t really considering this. Was I?
Wednesday
By the next morning, the idea seemed ludicrous. What had totally made sense in the middle of the night now seemed so far gone, I just put it out of my thoughts.
That notion parked for the time being, my day went pretty smoothly. Onew helped me with Chem again at lunchtime. Of course, he wasn’t by himself-Amber and Luna were there too. Seriously, flies to honey. And even gym class went OK. I managed not to get hit in the head during dodge ball, and anytime I get through that class unscathed, it’s a good day.
After school, I made my way back to the gym to watch the soccer scrimmage. Key came in a few moments after me and wordlessly sat beside me on the bleachers. I watched as he opened his satchel and pulled out his book. He carefully opened it and placed his bookmark on his lap. He looked up slightly and paused for a minute, and I thought maybe he was going to say something, but he seemed to change his mind and put his nose back in his book.
The change room door opened and players began to emerge: Minho was first, with Taemin right behind him. Tae gave me a nod and then began kicking the ball back and forth with Minho, warming up. Soon Amber and Krystal were out there as well, along with Leo again and a few other kids whose faces are familiar but who I don’t really know.
I anxiously watched the door, waiting for Eunhyuk to appear. Just as the players were wrapping up their warm-up and organizing themselves into teams, he came sauntering through the main doors. As he walked in, I could feel my heart galloping stupidly, echoes of last night’s imaginings still running through my veins. Eunhyuk greeted his friends and disappeared into the change room.
I took that as an opportunity to work on breathing again and berate myself for always being so ridiculous.
Before long, Eunhyuk was back and the match started. I watched as players ran back and forth, dribbling the ball (something my feet have never successfully accomplished). The sound of a page turning reminded me that Key was beside me.
“What are you reading?”
Key pursed his lips and turned his gaze to the game without seeming to see it. Eventually he marked his page and closed his book, swivelling to face me. “Why are you talking to me all of a sudden?” he asked, eyebrow raised.
“Minho,” I replied. “He said you’re a good guy and that I should give you a chance.”
“Hmm.” Key chewed on his bottom lip. The players got louder in their excitement over something, and Key had to raise his voice. “He said something similar about you. Told me I should stop being so snarky.”
I laughed. “Snarky? He said that?”
“You know Minho-he’s too polite to tell me to stop being such a bitch.” Key smiled. It kind of caught me off guard; I’d never seen him smile before. But Key has a really beautiful face when he’s not scowling, and when he smiles his eyes light up and the cynicism that’s usually present drops away.
We momentarily ran out of things to say, so we turned our attention to the soccer match. Good timing too because just at that moment, Taemin broke away from Eunhyuk, who had been covering him, and scored on Leo.
“Alright Taemin!” I cheered. Running back to centre field, Taemin beamed up at me and waved enthusiastically with both hands.
“He’s cute,” noted Key.
“Yeah, he is. And how does he look that nice while playing sports? You should see me when I have to run around-definitely a hot mess.”
Key snorted. “So...you guys are...?”
I tilted my head, puzzled, and then I realized where Key was going. “Oh! Geez, no, it’s not like that. We’re friends.”
Key raised his eyebrow again. “You’re sure?”
I laughed. “Yes, I’m sure!”
Key pursed his lips again. Seems to be a thing with him when he’s contemplating something. “Well, if you say so,” he stated, but with a tone that suggested he wasn’t buying it at all.
It occurred to me that perhaps I should mention... “Well, while we’re sort of on the topic...” I paused, wondering if I was about to blow this “budding friendship” to pieces. “Minho...you know he’s...”
“Straight? Yeah, I know. He’s got that annoying straight-guy vibe about him. It’s fine.” Key dismissed it with a wave of his delicate hand. “He’s not really my type, anyway. Much too pedestrian.”
I snorted.
Then I noticed there was a break in the play for some reason and Minho was watching us chat. When we spotted him, he gave us two proud thumbs-up.
Key shook his head and chuckled. “He’s such a dad.”
“He is, isn’t he?!”
For the rest of the game, Key went back to reading his book, but the awkwardness between us had dissipated. And to my credit, I managed to maintain an outward calm demeanour while watching Eunhyuk run around in shorts that were much too flimsy to leave his god-given gifts to my imagination. So, fairly proud of that.
After the match, a bunch of us decided to walk to a nearby Lotteria and get some food. That’s where my composure started to wane.
At first, everything was fine. Taemin and I sat at a table, and I began nibbling on my fries while he prattled on excitedly about the game. I have to admit, I wasn’t exactly listening. It happens to me sometimes-I get lost watching Taemin talk. There’s just something about him talking that’s mesmerizing. I don’t know what it is exactly, but I find myself watching his little cheeks move and his tongue flicking out to lick his lips, and suddenly I realize I’m not following what he’s saying at all.
Taemin didn’t seem to notice. I was eating and nodding, and I guess he assumed I was listening. Besides, he glazes over a lot too, so he’s not exactly in a position to fault me.
“Taemin, you gave me the slip out there a couple of times today.” Eunhyuk was approaching with his tray of food, and to my sheer delight, it appeared he was planning to sit with us.
“Yeah, you must be getting past it,” Taemin joked. He hid his grinning mouth behind his hand, but his eyes were full of cheekiness.
Eunhyuk pretended to look shocked as he put his tray down and took a seat beside me. “You’re pushing your luck, little man,” he smiled. “You better hope we don’t get time for a rematch-I might have to put you in your place.”
The two continued their light-hearted teasing, and I swear I tried to pay attention in case the conversation turned to me at some point, but there were just too many distractions: the warmth of Eunhyuk’s thigh against my leg, the veins moving in his forearms as he ripped open a packet of ketchup, the smooth tones of his voice caressing my ears, the fact that his lips were so close...just a few inches away...if I were to lean forward just a bit, I’d be able to press-
I realized the lips had stopped moving. And they were still turned to me, as was the rest of Eunhyuk’s gorgeous face. Shit, I definitely missed something. “I’m sorry, I was busy thinking about...Chemistry. Did you ask me something?”
Eunhyuk flashed a wide smile at me. “Ease up, Jonghyun. You shouldn’t get so stressed about school.”
“He’s usually not,” Taemin interjected, rolling his eyes.
“I was asking about your band.”
Asking about my band. He actually wanted to know about me. I did my best to be cool and carry on a reasonable conversation-which is not that hard for me when it comes to talking about music. Once I got going, I told him about how we started, some of the gigs we’ve played, and even my songwriting. He was particularly interested in that. Apparently his band only did cover tunes, and he thinks people who write music are pretty amazing. How cool is that?
When the topic segued back to sports, I was still feeling a warm glow of pride. Someone this awesome actually liked me, and even admired something about me. I think he winked at me at one point, although he may have had something in his eye.
By the time we all broke up and went our own ways, I was confident he was into me. Pretty confident. Maybe. OK, I have to admit, I don’t have a great track record for reading when people are into me, but this time I felt...it was definitely likely a possibility.
********
Taemin came back to my place afterward, and we played video games. Lately we’ve been really hooked on the online street races in GTA-cars, planes, country, city, you name it. Before we knew it, we’d been playing for hours, so Taemin ended up sleeping over.
He does that a lot-stays at my house until he’s too tired to head home, and then just crashes on my bed. I don’t mind. My bed’s big. It’s funny, though, we always fall asleep on our own sides, but invariably the next morning, I’m curled up around him like he’s a teddy bear. I’m grateful, and a little surprised, that he never teases me about it.
Once Taemin fell asleep, I found myself thinking about Eunhyuk again-about my idea. After the scene at Lotteria, it really didn’t seem that far-fetched.
I made a mental list of pros and cons. Pro: The guy’s super hot. Con: I don’t actually know if we’re compatible…position-wise. Pro: He’s a man, and being with him would make me a man…sort of. Con: He might not go for it. Pro: That wouldn’t matter much because he’d be leaving the next day, and I wouldn’t even have to deal with it. Pro: I’ll bet it would feel amazing. Pro: No more virginity-by Saturday morning, that label would be behind me for the rest of my life.
By the time I’d exhausted all possibilities, and myself in the process, it was really looking like this was quite a brilliant idea. So I rolled over to give Taemin more room, and went to sleep.
Thursday
Thursday morning was distinctly different from Wednesday. This time, I awoke to find that my idea still seemed like a good one. It seemed my mind was made up.
The only problem left was a distinct lack of time. I was going to have to act fast to make this happen. The morning was busy, though, and before I knew it, Taemin and I were in the caf for lunch, and I still hadn’t made any headway on a plan.
Minho and Key came and joined us, Minho beside Tae and Key beside Minho. It was pretty quiet because I don’t know Key that well yet, and Taemin doesn’t know him at all. Taemin was totally out of it anyway. He mostly sat there staring into space, as he does, and occasionally rubbing his eyes.
At one point, while Minho was talking, a big yawn snuck up on Taemin.
“Yah!” Minho jostled him. “Am I boring you?” He picked up his milk carton and took a swig.
“No, sorry, Minho. I didn’t get much sleep. Jonghyun’s dick was poking me in the butt half the night.”
“Tae-” I began to protest but was halted by a spray of milk hitting me in the face.
Startled, I looked up to see Minho half-laughing, half-choking. Beside him, Key began cackling, loud and with abandon. His head was thrown back and he was slapping his knee.
Turns out, Key’s laugh is completely infectious. It was only moments before Taemin and I were overtaken with it too. So the four of us sat there, lunches abandoned, clutching our stomachs and gasping for air. I wasn’t even sure what each of us was laughing about-my lack of self-control, Taemin’s bluntness, Minho having ejected milk out of his nose (and the fact that I was wearing it), or even Key himself. But every time we started to wind down and wipe our eyes, one of us would peel off again and we’d all lose it.
Half an hour later in math class, my stomach was aching and I was still chortling to myself.
For much of the afternoon, I was focused on the usual stuff, but every now and then, my system was shocked into a nervous state as I remembered that by tomorrow night, I might be sleeping with Eunhyuk. On more than one occasion, I considered abandoning the idea. However, I chalked that up to sheer nerves, not anything that deserved much consideration. Nonetheless, by the time school ended, I still hadn’t thought of a way to get Eunhyuk over to my house.
I was more than distracted after school as Taemin and I headed to the store for snacks. In fact, I didn’t even notice Key at the bus stop until he called out.
“Hey! Are you back to ignoring me?”
I followed the voice and spotted him within the Plexiglas shelter only a few feet away. “Oh shit, sorry Key. No, I’m just lost in my own world, I guess. Hey, where are you heading?”
“Home, where else?”
I checked the sign. “Isn’t this the cross-town bus?”
“Yeah, I live in the east end.” The breeze picked up and snuck its way into the shelter, coercing a strand of Key’s hair to stand at attention. He immediately smoothed it down, but a moment later, it was wafting about in the air again.
Taemin, meanwhile, was keeping his eye on a bug that was crawling its way up the shelter wall.
“Damn, that’s a long way to come just for school,” I commiserated. “I assumed you’d moved here. Why are you bothering to come all the way to this dump of a school?”
Key’s hand was glued to the side of his head now in an effort to keep his hair looking nice. I guess he figured it looked less dumb than strands of his hair dancing the samba. I wasn’t convinced.
“My last school sucked. Full of jerks-I just didn’t feel like putting up with their dumbass antics anymore.”
Even standing there with his hand propped on his head, Key had an air of dignity. I decided not to dig. If Key didn’t want to get into details, I was OK with that.
“There are definitely jerks here too,” I admitted, recalling the abuse I took over the “Barbie Girl” incident. “But if you have a solid group of friends, you’ll survive.”
“Yeah? Do you think I’ll have a solid group of friends?” he asked, his voice almost a whisper.
“You’re getting there.” I patted his shoulder. “Right, Taemin?”
“Huh?” Taemin asked, not taking his eye off the bug.
Key laughed. “Definitely cute,” he said with a wink in my direction. “Oh, here it comes.” Key gestured down the road with his free hand. He threw his satchel over his shoulder and moved out of the shelter into the wind. Both hands clamped on his head now, he approached the bus as it slowed to a stop in front of him. “See you tomorrow,” he called out as the bus door opened and he climbed inside.
********
I couldn’t believe my good fortune when we got to the store. Taemin and I were busy debating between seaweed and potato snacks when, out of nowhere, Eunhyuk appeared. “Hey little man,” he said, mussing up Taemin’s hair. Taemin laughed and ducked away from him. “Hi Jonghyun,” Eunhyuk said, giving me a nod. “Can’t decide?”
“I think we might need both. I’m having a party,” I blurted out.
“Wha-?” Taemin turned to look at me, mouth hanging open.
“Tomorrow night,” I pretended to remind him. “What did you think we were buying these for?” I teased.
“I’m hungry,” Taemin replied, completely baffled.
“Well, eat the food you have at home,” I stated, grabbing several bags off the shelf and piling them up in Taemin’s arms. “These are for tomorrow.”
“Here, put them in my buggy,” Eunhyuk offered, relieving his neighbour of the balancing act with the chips. “I don’t have much to get.” Then to me, “Tomorrow night, huh?”
I suppressed my excitement. The guy was practically inviting himself! “Yeah,” I answered as casually as possible. “I’ve been hoping I’d get a chance to let you know. Everyone’s coming.”
Taemin, mouth still agape, looked back and forth between Eunhyuk and me like he was watching a tennis match.
We began moving through the aisles, picking up items on Eunhyuk’s list. “Do you need pop?” he asked as we approached the cases of cans. “Um...” I suddenly realized that I’d be lucky if I had enough money for the chips, let alone drinks. And now that everything was in Eunhyuk’s buggy, I couldn’t stall and put them back after he left. I scratched my head absentmindedly, scouring my mind for an excuse. “Um...the others are going to bring some drinks.”
“Oh, yeah? Well, let me get some of the chips then,” he offered.
Luck was with me today, I realized as we got to the register. I had just enough money to buy my share of the food after Eunhyuk had paid for his and half of mine. Not to mention just running into him like this. I was starting to think this was going to be easy.
We parted ways with Eunhyuk at the store, and Taemin helped me carry the snacks home. For some reason, I kept up the charade that I had told him about the party and he had just forgotten. I don’t know why. In retrospect it was pretty dumb, and I don’t think Taemin bought it. I guess I just figured that if I came clean, he’d tell me I was rushing things and try to talk me out of it.
And I really did not want to be talked out of it. I knew much of what I do ends up going badly, but I had to try. I was sure if I kept putting myself out there, good things would eventually happen.
Of course, after I sent Taemin home, I was left scrambling to throw together an actual party. I asked as many people as I could think of, and I hoped to god it didn’t snowball out of control. My mom would kill me if she came home to a huge mess and kids draped all over the house at two in the morning.
By the time I gave up and dropped into bed, I had seven yesses, five nos, three maybes, and a promise from Onew that he’d invite more people. It was starting to look like I’d have a decent turnout, after all. Not bad for a party that didn’t exist just a few hours ago.