SBB 2011 Entry #18: Puppets (3/3)
Title: Puppets
Pairing/Focus: Jonghyun/Onew, Key/girl!Taemin, onsided!Jonghyun/Minho
Rating: PG-13
Final word count: 23,530
Summary: Where death can't keep loved ones apart, a fox reaches beyond his natural boundaries, and a puppet master is not what he seems.
It was late.
It was actually really close to midnight when Kibum found himself running towards Taeyeon’s house, his little book clasped tightly in his hand so he wouldn’t lose it. He just needed to get it to Taeyeon. He needed her to read it. As her house came into view, he saw the lights still on. She was still awake.
His hope was flying over the moon as he ran and ran towards her house. Maybe she would just read it and everything would be alright. But then the darker thoughts came to the front of his mind. She was going to turn him away. She was never going to read it.
Then he was standing on her front step, the little book still clutched tightly in his hand. He was so nervous.
He knocked on the door cautiously as if something were going to attack him when someone answered. When he heard no footsteps rushing down the stairs, Kibum knocked harder.
“Go away, Kibum!” he heard Taeyeon yell.
“Please, Taeyeon. I j-just want to give you something. Then I’ll leave, I promi-se,” Kibum said loudly. It hurt that she was being so cold towards him.
“I said go away!”
“Taeyeon, please open the door!” Kibum called as he knocked continuously on her door. “It’s important.”
“Go away!” he heard her yell once more. “Go away, you freak!” And those words brought tears to Kibum’s eyes.
“I’ll just leave it here then,” he muttered. There was no way Taeyeon had heard him, but he dropped his little handmade book on her front door step and then left. He couldn’t bear trying anymore. It hurt too much. Maybe he should have just stayed a fox instead of trying to be something he clearly was not.
Inside her house, Taeyeon was sitting on the stairs, crying. Life was so unfair to her. It decided to take away her brother and then take away the only person she ever loved.
She got up and went to the bedroom where Jinki was sleeping. He was still sound asleep when she walked in. If it hadn’t been for the fact that he was breathing, Taeyeon could have sworn that he was dead; just like she had assumed he was the entire time. She pulled the sheets up a little further to his neck. Then she headed down the stairs one more time.
Whatever made her do it, she didn’t know, but she headed towards the front door and looked through the peephole. When she saw no one standing outside, she opened it. The cool night air hit her face and she breathed it in like she hadn’t breathed fresh air in years. She took one step outside and stopped when she heard the slight crunch of paper beneath her foot.
She looked down and saw a small stack of papers beneath her foot. She moved her foot and picked up the papers. It was a little book. It was tied together by string at the binding, and just looking at the untidy handwriting, she could tell it was obviously made by Kibum.
For a moment, she debated putting it back on the ground, going back inside, and never coming out. But something inside her was begging her to just read whatever it was that Kibum had written from his barely literate brain.
So she took it inside and sat on the stairs again. The pages were wrinkled and there was dirt on the front page, but it looked like Kibum had made it recently. He probably had spent the whole day making it after she discovered his secret.
She breathed deeply and then opened the little book. She read:
Once upon a time, there was an ordinary fox. He lived day to day eating, roaming his territory, and sleeping. And for a long time, he thought he was happy. However, one day he came upon a crying girl in the middle of his territory.
At first, the fox assumed she was intruding and tried to tell her to get out, but when she looked up at him, he was struck with her beauty and forgot everything else. But she was frightened by his appearance, so the fox left so she wouldn’t be frightened anymore. She left his territory not long after.
Curious, the fox followed her to the edge or his territory. There he was met with the familiar sight of many, many upright stones. Every single one of them had something scribbled on them, but the fox didn’t know what any of it meant.
And every day the fox waited for the girl to appear again.
When she finally came, the fox didn’t think twice about approaching her. She headed towards one of the many stones and placed flowers next to it. Then she began talking to it and crying. The fox just wanted her to stop crying, so he got her attention.
Upon seeing him, she ran in fright. The fox was very sad.
And then a wonderful sorcerer appeared and offered to make the fox human for a time. The fox accepted immediately and was made human. The drawbacks were learning to walk and talk like a human, but he met the girl and they fell in love fast.
She was sad at first after her brother died. But the fox tried to make her happy, and the times they spent together were the best times of the fox’s life. She taught him so much and he was very grateful to her for everything. He wished it would never end, but he knew it would one day.
He just hoped that she would forgive him for lying to her when it was all over.
That was the end, but Taeyeon couldn’t put the little book down. Her hands refused to release the pages. On the last page, the picture they had taken in the photo booth at the amusement park was taped in. It was a little book that Kibum had clearly put a lot of effort into, and every single word and poorly drawn stick figure told her a separate story about him.
They all told her that she was still in love with him.
-----
Jinki woke up late the next morning. Every day he seemed to get more and more exhausted. It was probably a side effect of Minho’s fading spell. But he wasn’t ready to let go just yet. He was going to last just a little bit longer
He slowly went through the motions of getting ready for the day - took a shower, got dressed, brushed teeth, combed hair - before he at last exited his old bedroom.
As he was about to walk down the stairs, he spotted his sister at the bottom, fast asleep and something clutched tightly in her hands. Jinki remembered waking up in the middle of the night to find Taeyeon sitting on the stairs. Usually it was because something was bugging her or she was upset about something. And as Jinki passed her on the stairs, he smiled seeing what were probably Kibum’s poorly written words all across the papers that Taeyeon held in her hands.
He snuck out the door. He had made a decision about his own future, and he needed to follow through with it before he got cold feet.
But to be honest, he was more worried about Jonghyun than anything.
Not long after Jinki left, a knock came to the door that startled Taeyeon into wakefulness. Immediately, she bolted from her position on the stairs and answered it, hoping it was a certain fox boy that she needed to apologize to. But when she opened the door, her joy faded at the sight of Minho.
“He’s gone back,” Minho told her. “He’s given up and is waiting to turn back into a fox.” As he spoke, he handed her a large handful of pure white feathers. “If you love him, find him and place these on his hands, feet, and head. He will be yours forever.” Then Minho smiled sadly and turned to leave.
“Why are you suddenly saying I can have him forever?” Taeyeon asked. “I thought this spell was only temporary.”
Minho stopped walking away, but he didn’t turn back to face Taeyeon. “Someone recently told me I was selfish,” Minho confessed. “Maybe he didn’t say it exactly like that, but I got the hint. But now I want to prove that I’m not.” He cast a short glance over his shoulder in Taeyeon’s direction. “Your brother doesn’t know that yet.”
Taeyeon looked at the feathers for a moment and then back at Minho. “Did you give him some of these?”
Minho nodded. “But I also lied to him about what they did. Don’t tell him, okay?”
“Why would you lie?”
“Being completely honest...” Minho began. But then he dropped the subject completely. “Better go find Kibum.” Taeyeon blinked a few times before the change in topic really worked its way through her brain. Then she nodded and Minho finally left. But Taeyeon ran back into the house first. She needed to make something for Kibum before she could actually go find him.
-----
Jinki walked the whole way to Jonghyun’s apartment. He didn’t feel like catching a bus. It would have taken away from his time to prepare himself mentally for what he was about to do.
He was going to ask Jonghyun to let go of him by helping him take his life away, and as heartbreaking as it was going to be, Jinki knew it had to be done. He couldn’t leave Jonghyun without helping him to move on.
It was about two hours later that Jinki found finally found himself in front of Jonghyun’s door. He hadn’t exactly been walking very quickly, but there he was, struggling to knock on the door. When he couldn’t bring himself to knock, Jinki sighed and pulled out the key he still had in one of his pockets. It was almost lost in the mass of feathers.
He slid the key into the lock and turned it. Upon opening the door, no one randomly pounced on him with joy like he expected. Maybe Jonghyun hadn’t heard him come back. So Jinki went into the living room where he had left Jonghyun last.
Nothing had moved since he had left the previous day. Jonghyun was the only thing that seemed to have moved. He was curled up on the floor, tears falling and soft sobs escaping his mouth even in his sleep. I broke Jinki’s heart to see him like that.
He walked over to Jonghyun’s side and knelt down on the ground. He placed his hands on Jonghyun’s shoulders and shook them lightly. “Jonghyun, wake up.”
It didn’t take much for Jonghyun to wake with a start. Then he blearily looked around at his surroundings. Then he registered the hands on his shoulders and looked up. His eyes widened immediately when they fell on Jinki’s worried face. He sat up and flung his arms around Jinki and didn’t plan on letting go anytime soon.
“Jonghyun, I’m not staying,” Jinki muttered, feeling his own tears starting to sting the back of his eyes. “I’m still going to leave you, but I want you to let go first.”
“What?” Jonghyun asked as he pulled away in shock. “No!”
“Jonghyun, please,” Jinki begged as he stared directly into Jonghyun’s eyes. “You’re so young. You can’t waste your life away because I’m gone. You know I don’t want that, and if this situation had been reversed, I’m sure you wouldn’t want me acting like that either.” Jonghyun bit his lip, tears leaking out of his eyes again. He knew Jinki was right. He just didn’t want him to be.
Then Jinki reached into his pockets for something. What he pulled out were brilliantly white feathers. Jonghyun had only seen feathers that white once before.
“Minho gave those to you, didn’t he?” Jonghyun asked. Jinki nodded.
“He told me they would take my life back if I put them over my heart,” he explained to Jonghyun. Jonghyun looked at them like they were the things he hated the most in the world, and even thought Jinki knew this, he still needed to try. “Jonghyun, I want you to place them over my heart for me.”
Jonghyun’s eyes widened in shock. “NO!” he screamed as he stood from his seat on the floor. “Jinki, you can’t ask me to do that! It’s not fair! How could you ask me to kill you?”
“The world isn’t fair, Jonghyun!” Jinki yelled. “If it were fair, it would have killed a murderer instead of me!” Jinki burst into tears. “But I’m dead already. I just want you to move on. Get over my death. Meet someone else. Be happy even though it won’t be me. Live a full life. That’s what I want for you because I love you.”
“If you loved me, you wouldn’t be asking me to do this,” Jonghyun accused.
“Wrong,” Jinki stated. “I’m asking you to do something so difficult because I love you. Don’t you get it? Let go of me. Don’t make me hang on to a life I can barely live as it is.”
And Jonghyun finally understood. It wasn’t just about letting him go; it was about ending the torture that Jinki was going through of never knowing when the spell on him would end. The magic was always flickering and it was causing disruptions in his life and Jinki’s fabricated one and it made it impossible to live life the way he wanted to.
“You don’t have to lie anymore, Jinki,” Jonghyun muttered. His anger had vanished as understanding took over. “You’re scared, right?”
Jinki didn’t look at him for a long moment, only staring at the feathers in his hands. “Terrified.”
“Alright,” Jonghyun said, sobs choking his voice. “I’ll do it.” Jinki looked up at him with shocked eyes as Jonghyun took the feathers from him with shaking hands.
“Are you sure?” Jinki asked.
“No,” Jonghyun answered truthfully. “But if it means you won’t be scared anymore, I can be brave.” Then he placed the feathers over Jinki’s heart and said, “I love you.”
Jinki smiled sadly. “I love you, too. Always have, always will.
And as if some key word had been spoken, the feathers began to shine brighter than ever and they sank into the flesh over Jinki’s heart. It started to burn like crazy and something spread through his entire body. His heart was going crazy in his chest and his sight was fading.
Jonghyun held onto him tightly after the last feather sank into Jinki’s chest. Jinki looked like he wanted to scream, but something was holding him back; he couldn’t make a sound. And then it all stopped and Jinki just closed his eyes. It was over.
Nervously, Jonghyun felt for a pulse on Jinki’s wrist and was perplexed when Jinki still had one. So he assumed it would stop slowly. Jinki was still alive for the moment, but he would be gone soon. Still, Jonghyun held his limp form close and just stared out the window, the tears never once stopping.
“I love you. I love you. I’ll try to let go. I love you…”
-----
In a certain puppet shop, a ball-joint doll pulses with light once more and then stops.
-----
Taeyeon ran from her house as quickly as she could. She purposely put on her sneakers and her shorts so she could run at top speed. She had a little stack of papers tied together with string clutched in her hand. She needed to find Kibum.
Minho had said he went back, right? That probably meant he had gone back to his home in the forest until he became a fox again. So Taeyeon ran through the cemetery towards the first place she had ever seen him as a fox. She crashed through the bushes and tree branches as she ran, not caring if she got a cut or two.
“Kibum!” Taeyeon shouted as she ran. Kibum heard her voice nearby, but he would not reveal himself to her. “Kibum, I wrote a story! Let me read it to you!” she cried as she finally had to stop running. “It’s not as good as your, but it’s sincere.” And Kibum saw her through the bushes and couldn’t help but think how beautiful she was. “Kibum, can you hear me?” she shouted.
“What is it about?” Kibum asked loudly.
The instant she heard his voice, Taeyeon wanted to leap with joy, but she couldn’t or he might leave without listening to her. So she opened the book and began reading. “Once upon a time, there was lonely, sad, stupid girl.
“One day when she was out feeling sorry for herself, she met a boy who could barely speak a word. But at the time, she didn’t care. She liked him instantly even though he was different. And during her briefest moment of wisdom, she told him it was alright to be different.” Taeyeon swallowed hard, fighting back tears.
“But when she found out that the boy was more different than she could have imagined, she ran instead of listening to his words of love. She had forgotten that being different wasn’t supposed to matter. But the boy, being a cunning fox, knew how to squeeze his way back into the girl’s stupid heart. He wrote her a story about how they met and fell in love. And the girl realized that she still loved him.
“She was lucky the sorcerer was a kind man. He gave her a way to keep her fox boy forever if she accepted him for what he was. But she already had.
“Differences didn’t matter anymore.”
Then she closed the book and lifted it into the air.
“I love you, Kibum, and I’m sorry for the way I acted,” she proclaimed. “I love you, and this story doesn’t have an ending yet! Please come out.”
But he was already behind her, taking the book out of her raised hand so he could look at it. She turned around and hugged him full force. Kibum hugged her back, the book still clutched in his hand.
“I’m sorry,” Taeyeon said again. But then she pulled away from him and smiled. “And I really do have a way for you to stay human,” she said happily.
“Really?” Kibum asked wide eyed. That’s when Taeyeon produced the feathers that Minho had given to her.
“Like I said,” Taeyeon began, smiling, “this story doesn’t have an ending yet.” Kibum smiled back at her.
Then he looked a little confused. “How do the f-feathers work?” he asked.
“Lie down on the ground and I’ll show you.”
So Kibum lay down on the ground like he was asked to. Then Taeyeon divided the feathers into groups. She placed a small group on his left hand and then on his right hand. Then she placed a group of feathers on both of his feet. She had one more group to place.
As he watched her make these preparations, he suddenly had a thought. “I think I know ho-w this story ends.”
“Then how does it end?” Taeyeon asked, a knowing smile on her face as she placed the final group of feathers on Kibum’s forehead.
“We live happily ever after.”
Then the feathers shone a bright light and sank into Kibum’s skin. He felt the burn spread through his body and he instantly clutched at Taeyeon’s hand as tightly as he could. A minute later, his vision blackened and he lost consciousness. And even though she worried over if he was alright or not, Taeyeon couldn’t get his words out of her head. They will live happily ever after. She kissed Kibum’s forehead and waited for him to wake up.
-----
In the same shop, a hand puppet pulsed with light once and then stopped.
A man fell to the ground unexpectedly.
-----
About four hours later, something woke Jonghyun from the slight doze he hadn’t realized he was falling into. When he opened up his eyes, he realized his arms were empty. But upon looking a little further away, he spotted Jinki, sitting on his own, looking at his hands as if they were the most amazing things he had ever seen.
“I don’t understand…”Jinki muttered to the air. “I thought I was supposed to be dead now.” Jonghyun just burst into tears and sobs behind him. Jinki jerked around in surprise. “Jonghyun…”
“Please don’t let this be a dream,” Jonghyun sobbed. “Please don’t disappear. I don’t think I could bear it.”
Jinki came back to him and wound his arms around Jonghyun’s frame. “What happened to letting go?” he asked.
“It disappeared when it saw you were still alive,” Jonghyun admitted. “I really was going to do what you asked me to. I was going to move on. But…”
Jinki sighed. This whole thing was a big mess.
“Let’s go see Minho,” Jinki suggested. “We need to figure out what’s going on.”
“Alright,” Jonghyun muttered as he slowly got to his feet.
-----
“Minho,” Jinki called into the empty puppet shop. But no one responded. “Minho, we need to talk to you.” Still no response.
“Well he has to be here somewhere,” Jonghyun commented. “You look upstairs. I’ll look in the back rooms.” Jinki nodded and headed up the stairs. Jonghyun headed back to rooms where Minho kept everything he needed for his shop. He also kept Jinki’s ball-joint doll and Kibum’s hand puppet back there if he remembered correctly.
Jonghyun went into all three, calling for Minho as he entered each one, but Minho was not there. However, Jonghyun spotted Jinki’s and Kibum’s puppets in the third room. Something seemed a bit different about them from the last time he remembered seeing them.
They weren’t pulsing light anymore.
Jonghyun picked up the dolls and examined them closer. They weren’t even faintly glowing anymore. But wasn’t that supposed to mean that the spells had ended? If they had ended, wasn’t Jinki supposed to be dead again? And what about Kibum? Wasn’t he supposed to become a fox again when the spell was over?
“Jonghyun! Come quick!” Jinki called urgently from the second floor. “I found him!”
The urgency caught Jonghyun off guard, so he practically bolted up the stairs and found Jinki in the spare room, kneeling next to Minho, who was lying unconscious on the floor.
“I found him like this,” Jinki commented as Jonghyun approached. “I wonder how long he’s been like this.”
“Let’s get him onto the bed,” Jonghyun suggested. “It should be more comfortable.” Jinki nodded and they both lifted Minho up and over to the bed. But it felt like a wasted effort when a moment later a groan left Minho’s mouth and he sat up.
“Damn, I hate this already,” Minho commented, rubbing his head.
“Minho, you told me those feathers would kill me,” Jinki began talking immediately, not waiting for Minho to become more alert.
“Yes, I did.”
“Then why am I still here?” Jinki asked, just wanting an answer. “I was ready to die.”
“I lied, dumbass,” Minho growled. “Now leave me alone, I’m discovering what a headache is.”
“Wait,” Jonghyun cut in. “You lied to him? Then what were those feather and what did they do to him exactly?”
“Fine,” groaned Minho as he stood up. “If you insist on knowing exactly what happened right this minute, then I’ll tell you!” He threw his hands up in the air with an exasperated tone thrown into his words. “Jonghyun wanted Jinki back. I brought him back. Jinki accuses me of being a heartbreaker. I get angry. I give him my magic reserves to prove him wrong. But I lied to prolong torture because I’m not that nice. The feathers make the spell permanent at the price of my immortality! Happy now? I gave up my immortality and magic for all fucking four of you!” Then he stormed out of the room.
“Minho!” Jinki yelled after him.
“Leave me alone!” Minho yelled back. They heard a door slam. That’s when Jinki started running after him.
“Minho, come back!” But no one answered this time. Jinki opened the front door to the shop to look for him, but the only sight he was met with was the sight of people milling about the street. And then he spotted a familiar face.
Taeyeon. And she was with Kibum, too. They were both smiling from ear to ear, and for that moment, Jinki forgot about Minho and only stared at them. They were so happy together even after such a huge issue between them took place. Jinki was sure that things between him and Jonghyun would go back to normal soon. They loved each other anyway.
They were both alive.
Things were looking up.
-----
It was a nice sunny day the next day and everyone felt like it would be a nice celebration to come out for a picnic. However, it quickly turned into a study date when Taeyeon remembered she had some math to do before her summer break ended and she went back to school.
So the “picnic” was moved indoors; Taeyeon’s house to be more specific. She still had another few days alone in the house until her parents came back. Kibum kept her company most of the time, but for a while, Jinki wouldn’t let them out of his sight for fear that Kibum would try to do inappropriate things. But he didn’t even look like he knew what Jinki meant until it was explained to him that “mating” wasn’t as sacred to some people as it was to others and it could sometimes causes problems between people.
Kibum looked at him strangely for a moment. “Most of the time, foxes mate for life, and we o-only mate to have kits. You’re telling me humans are different?” Jinki found blush creeping up to his face throughout this entire conversation, and on more than one occasion he found himself glancing at Jonghyun, who was sitting straight across the room watching television.
“Yeah…” Jinki mumbled. “Just don’t try to experiment with this new concept too early!”
Jonghyun wasn’t so far away that he couldn’t hear their conversations. Every now and then he would glance up at them and smile at how red Jinki was and watch him get flustered trying to explain the way humans did things to a confused Kibum.
When Jinki finally turned the conversation to reading, Kibum completely latched onto Jinki as if he were a god. “Teach me to read better, pleeeeeeeeeease!” Kibum begged.
“Fine, fine, I’ll go grab a book and we can start.”
“Hey!” Taeyeon protested. “That’s my job!”
“You’re doing homework. I’ll substitute just for today.”
Taeyeon pouted.
“So what do you want to read exactly?” Jinki asked Kibum.
“I want to read a story with lots of magic,” he said with a smile.
“Then I have just the book for you!” A knock came to the door just as Jinki ran upstairs to his old room to grab his tattered copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Jonghyun got up to answer it, but the person behind the door was not someone he expected.
“Minho?” Jonghyun questioned. “What are you doing here?”
“Um…” He looked exceedingly uncomfortable. He looked like he wanted to say something, but every time he opened his mouth he would just close it again and continue looking uncomfortable.
“Would you like to come in?” Jonghyun asked. Minho just blinked at him for a long moment. Then he nodded and Jonghyun stood aside as Minho passed through the doorway. “Guys, look who’s here!” Jonghyun announced.
Taeyeon and Kibum looked up from what they were doing and smiled. They greeted him happily before Taeyeon went back to her homework and Kibum was distracted by Jinki who came down the stairs with a beat up old book in his hands. Jinki gave Minho a little wave of welcome and a smile as he headed towards Kibum to hand him the book.
“Do you want to sit down?” Jonghyun offered as everyone went about their own business. Minho just took the seat next to Jonghyun. They remained silent for a long time. Minho watched everybody, but Jonghyun merely went back to his television show.
“Has everything been alright?” Minho asked after what seemed like a long time.
Jonghyun nodded. “For us it has, but what about you?” he asked. “Are you feeling better than you were yesterday?”
Minho didn’t respond right away, but when he did, there was a frown on his face. “Being human sucks,” Minho admitted. “I walk everywhere, I’m always tired, I’m going to die in a matter of years because I’m no long immortal, and I have no magic anymore.” He looked at his hands as if he were seeing them for the first time.
“I meant to ask you about that,” Jonghyun mentioned. “Why aren’t you immortal anymore? And where did your magic go?”
“Do I really need to answer that?” Minho asked. “I was pretty much out of magic for the past few days. I had just barely enough to keep those two spells going for a little longer, but they weren’t going to last much longer.” Jonghyun nodded. “Do you remember the day I showed you my wings?”
Jonghyun nodded again. “I remember. They were the most beautiful wings I had ever seen. And their feathers were so white they shined.”
“Then you must have realized that the feathers I gave to Jinki were from those wings.”
“Of course I did,” Jonghyun said.
Minho flashed a half smile that was far less than happy. “Those wings were my magic reserves. I have to have those reserves to maintain my immortality and the ability to regenerate my magic. The magic I keep in my reserves is more potent because it’s been sitting around for so long. I suppose it would be easy for humans to understand if I compare it to wine. It gets better with age. So this magic is far more powerful than the magic I have on hand,” Minho explained. “But I tore out my own feathers and gave my reserves to those two to make their spells last for as long as they live.” Minho waved his hand in the general direction of Jinki and Kibum who were engrossed in the very first page of their book. “As a result, I have nothing left and no way to restore my magic. I’m basically human now.”
Jonghyun now realized just how big a sacrifice Minho had made for them. He didn’t just sacrifice wings to give Jinki back to him and give Taeyeon and Kibum a chance together, he sacrificed hundreds and hundreds - maybe even thousands - of years of his life to make them happy. Or maybe he was aiming at one person the entire time.
“I guess the bright side,” Minho began, “is that even though I’m not with you the way I want to be, I won’t have to live forever without you when you die.” And Jonghyun couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt at not being able to return Minho’s feelings.
A question came to mind. “Why did you lie to Jinki when you gave him your feathers?” Jonghyun asked.
Minho glanced across the room at Jinki who was explaining how to read the names of characters in the story. Sometimes they were pronounced different from how they looked and it was confusing Kibum. “Half of it was that I wanted to torture him with the thought that he was holding the key to his own death in his hands. I haven’t exactly been happy while bringing him back for you instead of trying to take you for myself. So I was trying to take it out on him for as long as I could.”
“What was the other half?” Jonghyun asked, not missing a beat.
Minho paused before answering. “I wanted to know he was really willing to do anything it took to make sure that you lived happily. He was willing to kill himself so that you wouldn’t hold on to something that was never going to be yours again.” Then he laughed bitterly, remembering vaguely hearing Jinki’s talk with Jonghyun through the strings of magic. “But I didn’t imagine that he would actually bring you into it, even if it was quite clever if you ask me.”
“It was completely terrifying,” Jonghyun muttered.
“And it worked,” Minho pointed out. “You let go even though your heart was breaking and were completely willing to take his life so he could find peace.”
“But then I discovered that he was alive and I clung to him all over again,” Jonghyun commented.
“But he got you to let go of him at least once,” Minho noted. “That means you are capable of letting go. That means I still have a chance with you.”
Thinking about what Minho had just said, Jonghyun looked up and watched as Jinki momentarily got up to bring over some chips and cheese for all of them to eat before going back to Kibum and the book. Jonghyun loved it when Taeyeon made faces at him for helping Kibum when she was supposed to be helping him. Jinki made yet another comment about math and Taeyeon pouted some more.
Jinki laughed. Jonghyun smiled.
“No, Minho, you don’t.”
Previous
Pairing/Focus: Jonghyun/Onew, Key/girl!Taemin, onsided!Jonghyun/Minho
Rating: PG-13
Final word count: 23,530
Summary: Where death can't keep loved ones apart, a fox reaches beyond his natural boundaries, and a puppet master is not what he seems.
It was late.
It was actually really close to midnight when Kibum found himself running towards Taeyeon’s house, his little book clasped tightly in his hand so he wouldn’t lose it. He just needed to get it to Taeyeon. He needed her to read it. As her house came into view, he saw the lights still on. She was still awake.
His hope was flying over the moon as he ran and ran towards her house. Maybe she would just read it and everything would be alright. But then the darker thoughts came to the front of his mind. She was going to turn him away. She was never going to read it.
Then he was standing on her front step, the little book still clutched tightly in his hand. He was so nervous.
He knocked on the door cautiously as if something were going to attack him when someone answered. When he heard no footsteps rushing down the stairs, Kibum knocked harder.
“Go away, Kibum!” he heard Taeyeon yell.
“Please, Taeyeon. I j-just want to give you something. Then I’ll leave, I promi-se,” Kibum said loudly. It hurt that she was being so cold towards him.
“I said go away!”
“Taeyeon, please open the door!” Kibum called as he knocked continuously on her door. “It’s important.”
“Go away!” he heard her yell once more. “Go away, you freak!” And those words brought tears to Kibum’s eyes.
“I’ll just leave it here then,” he muttered. There was no way Taeyeon had heard him, but he dropped his little handmade book on her front door step and then left. He couldn’t bear trying anymore. It hurt too much. Maybe he should have just stayed a fox instead of trying to be something he clearly was not.
Inside her house, Taeyeon was sitting on the stairs, crying. Life was so unfair to her. It decided to take away her brother and then take away the only person she ever loved.
She got up and went to the bedroom where Jinki was sleeping. He was still sound asleep when she walked in. If it hadn’t been for the fact that he was breathing, Taeyeon could have sworn that he was dead; just like she had assumed he was the entire time. She pulled the sheets up a little further to his neck. Then she headed down the stairs one more time.
Whatever made her do it, she didn’t know, but she headed towards the front door and looked through the peephole. When she saw no one standing outside, she opened it. The cool night air hit her face and she breathed it in like she hadn’t breathed fresh air in years. She took one step outside and stopped when she heard the slight crunch of paper beneath her foot.
She looked down and saw a small stack of papers beneath her foot. She moved her foot and picked up the papers. It was a little book. It was tied together by string at the binding, and just looking at the untidy handwriting, she could tell it was obviously made by Kibum.
For a moment, she debated putting it back on the ground, going back inside, and never coming out. But something inside her was begging her to just read whatever it was that Kibum had written from his barely literate brain.
So she took it inside and sat on the stairs again. The pages were wrinkled and there was dirt on the front page, but it looked like Kibum had made it recently. He probably had spent the whole day making it after she discovered his secret.
She breathed deeply and then opened the little book. She read:
Once upon a time, there was an ordinary fox. He lived day to day eating, roaming his territory, and sleeping. And for a long time, he thought he was happy. However, one day he came upon a crying girl in the middle of his territory.
At first, the fox assumed she was intruding and tried to tell her to get out, but when she looked up at him, he was struck with her beauty and forgot everything else. But she was frightened by his appearance, so the fox left so she wouldn’t be frightened anymore. She left his territory not long after.
Curious, the fox followed her to the edge or his territory. There he was met with the familiar sight of many, many upright stones. Every single one of them had something scribbled on them, but the fox didn’t know what any of it meant.
And every day the fox waited for the girl to appear again.
When she finally came, the fox didn’t think twice about approaching her. She headed towards one of the many stones and placed flowers next to it. Then she began talking to it and crying. The fox just wanted her to stop crying, so he got her attention.
Upon seeing him, she ran in fright. The fox was very sad.
And then a wonderful sorcerer appeared and offered to make the fox human for a time. The fox accepted immediately and was made human. The drawbacks were learning to walk and talk like a human, but he met the girl and they fell in love fast.
She was sad at first after her brother died. But the fox tried to make her happy, and the times they spent together were the best times of the fox’s life. She taught him so much and he was very grateful to her for everything. He wished it would never end, but he knew it would one day.
He just hoped that she would forgive him for lying to her when it was all over.
That was the end, but Taeyeon couldn’t put the little book down. Her hands refused to release the pages. On the last page, the picture they had taken in the photo booth at the amusement park was taped in. It was a little book that Kibum had clearly put a lot of effort into, and every single word and poorly drawn stick figure told her a separate story about him.
They all told her that she was still in love with him.
-----
Jinki woke up late the next morning. Every day he seemed to get more and more exhausted. It was probably a side effect of Minho’s fading spell. But he wasn’t ready to let go just yet. He was going to last just a little bit longer
He slowly went through the motions of getting ready for the day - took a shower, got dressed, brushed teeth, combed hair - before he at last exited his old bedroom.
As he was about to walk down the stairs, he spotted his sister at the bottom, fast asleep and something clutched tightly in her hands. Jinki remembered waking up in the middle of the night to find Taeyeon sitting on the stairs. Usually it was because something was bugging her or she was upset about something. And as Jinki passed her on the stairs, he smiled seeing what were probably Kibum’s poorly written words all across the papers that Taeyeon held in her hands.
He snuck out the door. He had made a decision about his own future, and he needed to follow through with it before he got cold feet.
But to be honest, he was more worried about Jonghyun than anything.
Not long after Jinki left, a knock came to the door that startled Taeyeon into wakefulness. Immediately, she bolted from her position on the stairs and answered it, hoping it was a certain fox boy that she needed to apologize to. But when she opened the door, her joy faded at the sight of Minho.
“He’s gone back,” Minho told her. “He’s given up and is waiting to turn back into a fox.” As he spoke, he handed her a large handful of pure white feathers. “If you love him, find him and place these on his hands, feet, and head. He will be yours forever.” Then Minho smiled sadly and turned to leave.
“Why are you suddenly saying I can have him forever?” Taeyeon asked. “I thought this spell was only temporary.”
Minho stopped walking away, but he didn’t turn back to face Taeyeon. “Someone recently told me I was selfish,” Minho confessed. “Maybe he didn’t say it exactly like that, but I got the hint. But now I want to prove that I’m not.” He cast a short glance over his shoulder in Taeyeon’s direction. “Your brother doesn’t know that yet.”
Taeyeon looked at the feathers for a moment and then back at Minho. “Did you give him some of these?”
Minho nodded. “But I also lied to him about what they did. Don’t tell him, okay?”
“Why would you lie?”
“Being completely honest...” Minho began. But then he dropped the subject completely. “Better go find Kibum.” Taeyeon blinked a few times before the change in topic really worked its way through her brain. Then she nodded and Minho finally left. But Taeyeon ran back into the house first. She needed to make something for Kibum before she could actually go find him.
-----
Jinki walked the whole way to Jonghyun’s apartment. He didn’t feel like catching a bus. It would have taken away from his time to prepare himself mentally for what he was about to do.
He was going to ask Jonghyun to let go of him by helping him take his life away, and as heartbreaking as it was going to be, Jinki knew it had to be done. He couldn’t leave Jonghyun without helping him to move on.
It was about two hours later that Jinki found finally found himself in front of Jonghyun’s door. He hadn’t exactly been walking very quickly, but there he was, struggling to knock on the door. When he couldn’t bring himself to knock, Jinki sighed and pulled out the key he still had in one of his pockets. It was almost lost in the mass of feathers.
He slid the key into the lock and turned it. Upon opening the door, no one randomly pounced on him with joy like he expected. Maybe Jonghyun hadn’t heard him come back. So Jinki went into the living room where he had left Jonghyun last.
Nothing had moved since he had left the previous day. Jonghyun was the only thing that seemed to have moved. He was curled up on the floor, tears falling and soft sobs escaping his mouth even in his sleep. I broke Jinki’s heart to see him like that.
He walked over to Jonghyun’s side and knelt down on the ground. He placed his hands on Jonghyun’s shoulders and shook them lightly. “Jonghyun, wake up.”
It didn’t take much for Jonghyun to wake with a start. Then he blearily looked around at his surroundings. Then he registered the hands on his shoulders and looked up. His eyes widened immediately when they fell on Jinki’s worried face. He sat up and flung his arms around Jinki and didn’t plan on letting go anytime soon.
“Jonghyun, I’m not staying,” Jinki muttered, feeling his own tears starting to sting the back of his eyes. “I’m still going to leave you, but I want you to let go first.”
“What?” Jonghyun asked as he pulled away in shock. “No!”
“Jonghyun, please,” Jinki begged as he stared directly into Jonghyun’s eyes. “You’re so young. You can’t waste your life away because I’m gone. You know I don’t want that, and if this situation had been reversed, I’m sure you wouldn’t want me acting like that either.” Jonghyun bit his lip, tears leaking out of his eyes again. He knew Jinki was right. He just didn’t want him to be.
Then Jinki reached into his pockets for something. What he pulled out were brilliantly white feathers. Jonghyun had only seen feathers that white once before.
“Minho gave those to you, didn’t he?” Jonghyun asked. Jinki nodded.
“He told me they would take my life back if I put them over my heart,” he explained to Jonghyun. Jonghyun looked at them like they were the things he hated the most in the world, and even thought Jinki knew this, he still needed to try. “Jonghyun, I want you to place them over my heart for me.”
Jonghyun’s eyes widened in shock. “NO!” he screamed as he stood from his seat on the floor. “Jinki, you can’t ask me to do that! It’s not fair! How could you ask me to kill you?”
“The world isn’t fair, Jonghyun!” Jinki yelled. “If it were fair, it would have killed a murderer instead of me!” Jinki burst into tears. “But I’m dead already. I just want you to move on. Get over my death. Meet someone else. Be happy even though it won’t be me. Live a full life. That’s what I want for you because I love you.”
“If you loved me, you wouldn’t be asking me to do this,” Jonghyun accused.
“Wrong,” Jinki stated. “I’m asking you to do something so difficult because I love you. Don’t you get it? Let go of me. Don’t make me hang on to a life I can barely live as it is.”
And Jonghyun finally understood. It wasn’t just about letting him go; it was about ending the torture that Jinki was going through of never knowing when the spell on him would end. The magic was always flickering and it was causing disruptions in his life and Jinki’s fabricated one and it made it impossible to live life the way he wanted to.
“You don’t have to lie anymore, Jinki,” Jonghyun muttered. His anger had vanished as understanding took over. “You’re scared, right?”
Jinki didn’t look at him for a long moment, only staring at the feathers in his hands. “Terrified.”
“Alright,” Jonghyun said, sobs choking his voice. “I’ll do it.” Jinki looked up at him with shocked eyes as Jonghyun took the feathers from him with shaking hands.
“Are you sure?” Jinki asked.
“No,” Jonghyun answered truthfully. “But if it means you won’t be scared anymore, I can be brave.” Then he placed the feathers over Jinki’s heart and said, “I love you.”
Jinki smiled sadly. “I love you, too. Always have, always will.
And as if some key word had been spoken, the feathers began to shine brighter than ever and they sank into the flesh over Jinki’s heart. It started to burn like crazy and something spread through his entire body. His heart was going crazy in his chest and his sight was fading.
Jonghyun held onto him tightly after the last feather sank into Jinki’s chest. Jinki looked like he wanted to scream, but something was holding him back; he couldn’t make a sound. And then it all stopped and Jinki just closed his eyes. It was over.
Nervously, Jonghyun felt for a pulse on Jinki’s wrist and was perplexed when Jinki still had one. So he assumed it would stop slowly. Jinki was still alive for the moment, but he would be gone soon. Still, Jonghyun held his limp form close and just stared out the window, the tears never once stopping.
“I love you. I love you. I’ll try to let go. I love you…”
-----
In a certain puppet shop, a ball-joint doll pulses with light once more and then stops.
-----
Taeyeon ran from her house as quickly as she could. She purposely put on her sneakers and her shorts so she could run at top speed. She had a little stack of papers tied together with string clutched in her hand. She needed to find Kibum.
Minho had said he went back, right? That probably meant he had gone back to his home in the forest until he became a fox again. So Taeyeon ran through the cemetery towards the first place she had ever seen him as a fox. She crashed through the bushes and tree branches as she ran, not caring if she got a cut or two.
“Kibum!” Taeyeon shouted as she ran. Kibum heard her voice nearby, but he would not reveal himself to her. “Kibum, I wrote a story! Let me read it to you!” she cried as she finally had to stop running. “It’s not as good as your, but it’s sincere.” And Kibum saw her through the bushes and couldn’t help but think how beautiful she was. “Kibum, can you hear me?” she shouted.
“What is it about?” Kibum asked loudly.
The instant she heard his voice, Taeyeon wanted to leap with joy, but she couldn’t or he might leave without listening to her. So she opened the book and began reading. “Once upon a time, there was lonely, sad, stupid girl.
“One day when she was out feeling sorry for herself, she met a boy who could barely speak a word. But at the time, she didn’t care. She liked him instantly even though he was different. And during her briefest moment of wisdom, she told him it was alright to be different.” Taeyeon swallowed hard, fighting back tears.
“But when she found out that the boy was more different than she could have imagined, she ran instead of listening to his words of love. She had forgotten that being different wasn’t supposed to matter. But the boy, being a cunning fox, knew how to squeeze his way back into the girl’s stupid heart. He wrote her a story about how they met and fell in love. And the girl realized that she still loved him.
“She was lucky the sorcerer was a kind man. He gave her a way to keep her fox boy forever if she accepted him for what he was. But she already had.
“Differences didn’t matter anymore.”
Then she closed the book and lifted it into the air.
“I love you, Kibum, and I’m sorry for the way I acted,” she proclaimed. “I love you, and this story doesn’t have an ending yet! Please come out.”
But he was already behind her, taking the book out of her raised hand so he could look at it. She turned around and hugged him full force. Kibum hugged her back, the book still clutched in his hand.
“I’m sorry,” Taeyeon said again. But then she pulled away from him and smiled. “And I really do have a way for you to stay human,” she said happily.
“Really?” Kibum asked wide eyed. That’s when Taeyeon produced the feathers that Minho had given to her.
“Like I said,” Taeyeon began, smiling, “this story doesn’t have an ending yet.” Kibum smiled back at her.
Then he looked a little confused. “How do the f-feathers work?” he asked.
“Lie down on the ground and I’ll show you.”
So Kibum lay down on the ground like he was asked to. Then Taeyeon divided the feathers into groups. She placed a small group on his left hand and then on his right hand. Then she placed a group of feathers on both of his feet. She had one more group to place.
As he watched her make these preparations, he suddenly had a thought. “I think I know ho-w this story ends.”
“Then how does it end?” Taeyeon asked, a knowing smile on her face as she placed the final group of feathers on Kibum’s forehead.
“We live happily ever after.”
Then the feathers shone a bright light and sank into Kibum’s skin. He felt the burn spread through his body and he instantly clutched at Taeyeon’s hand as tightly as he could. A minute later, his vision blackened and he lost consciousness. And even though she worried over if he was alright or not, Taeyeon couldn’t get his words out of her head. They will live happily ever after. She kissed Kibum’s forehead and waited for him to wake up.
-----
In the same shop, a hand puppet pulsed with light once and then stopped.
A man fell to the ground unexpectedly.
-----
About four hours later, something woke Jonghyun from the slight doze he hadn’t realized he was falling into. When he opened up his eyes, he realized his arms were empty. But upon looking a little further away, he spotted Jinki, sitting on his own, looking at his hands as if they were the most amazing things he had ever seen.
“I don’t understand…”Jinki muttered to the air. “I thought I was supposed to be dead now.” Jonghyun just burst into tears and sobs behind him. Jinki jerked around in surprise. “Jonghyun…”
“Please don’t let this be a dream,” Jonghyun sobbed. “Please don’t disappear. I don’t think I could bear it.”
Jinki came back to him and wound his arms around Jonghyun’s frame. “What happened to letting go?” he asked.
“It disappeared when it saw you were still alive,” Jonghyun admitted. “I really was going to do what you asked me to. I was going to move on. But…”
Jinki sighed. This whole thing was a big mess.
“Let’s go see Minho,” Jinki suggested. “We need to figure out what’s going on.”
“Alright,” Jonghyun muttered as he slowly got to his feet.
-----
“Minho,” Jinki called into the empty puppet shop. But no one responded. “Minho, we need to talk to you.” Still no response.
“Well he has to be here somewhere,” Jonghyun commented. “You look upstairs. I’ll look in the back rooms.” Jinki nodded and headed up the stairs. Jonghyun headed back to rooms where Minho kept everything he needed for his shop. He also kept Jinki’s ball-joint doll and Kibum’s hand puppet back there if he remembered correctly.
Jonghyun went into all three, calling for Minho as he entered each one, but Minho was not there. However, Jonghyun spotted Jinki’s and Kibum’s puppets in the third room. Something seemed a bit different about them from the last time he remembered seeing them.
They weren’t pulsing light anymore.
Jonghyun picked up the dolls and examined them closer. They weren’t even faintly glowing anymore. But wasn’t that supposed to mean that the spells had ended? If they had ended, wasn’t Jinki supposed to be dead again? And what about Kibum? Wasn’t he supposed to become a fox again when the spell was over?
“Jonghyun! Come quick!” Jinki called urgently from the second floor. “I found him!”
The urgency caught Jonghyun off guard, so he practically bolted up the stairs and found Jinki in the spare room, kneeling next to Minho, who was lying unconscious on the floor.
“I found him like this,” Jinki commented as Jonghyun approached. “I wonder how long he’s been like this.”
“Let’s get him onto the bed,” Jonghyun suggested. “It should be more comfortable.” Jinki nodded and they both lifted Minho up and over to the bed. But it felt like a wasted effort when a moment later a groan left Minho’s mouth and he sat up.
“Damn, I hate this already,” Minho commented, rubbing his head.
“Minho, you told me those feathers would kill me,” Jinki began talking immediately, not waiting for Minho to become more alert.
“Yes, I did.”
“Then why am I still here?” Jinki asked, just wanting an answer. “I was ready to die.”
“I lied, dumbass,” Minho growled. “Now leave me alone, I’m discovering what a headache is.”
“Wait,” Jonghyun cut in. “You lied to him? Then what were those feather and what did they do to him exactly?”
“Fine,” groaned Minho as he stood up. “If you insist on knowing exactly what happened right this minute, then I’ll tell you!” He threw his hands up in the air with an exasperated tone thrown into his words. “Jonghyun wanted Jinki back. I brought him back. Jinki accuses me of being a heartbreaker. I get angry. I give him my magic reserves to prove him wrong. But I lied to prolong torture because I’m not that nice. The feathers make the spell permanent at the price of my immortality! Happy now? I gave up my immortality and magic for all fucking four of you!” Then he stormed out of the room.
“Minho!” Jinki yelled after him.
“Leave me alone!” Minho yelled back. They heard a door slam. That’s when Jinki started running after him.
“Minho, come back!” But no one answered this time. Jinki opened the front door to the shop to look for him, but the only sight he was met with was the sight of people milling about the street. And then he spotted a familiar face.
Taeyeon. And she was with Kibum, too. They were both smiling from ear to ear, and for that moment, Jinki forgot about Minho and only stared at them. They were so happy together even after such a huge issue between them took place. Jinki was sure that things between him and Jonghyun would go back to normal soon. They loved each other anyway.
They were both alive.
Things were looking up.
-----
It was a nice sunny day the next day and everyone felt like it would be a nice celebration to come out for a picnic. However, it quickly turned into a study date when Taeyeon remembered she had some math to do before her summer break ended and she went back to school.
So the “picnic” was moved indoors; Taeyeon’s house to be more specific. She still had another few days alone in the house until her parents came back. Kibum kept her company most of the time, but for a while, Jinki wouldn’t let them out of his sight for fear that Kibum would try to do inappropriate things. But he didn’t even look like he knew what Jinki meant until it was explained to him that “mating” wasn’t as sacred to some people as it was to others and it could sometimes causes problems between people.
Kibum looked at him strangely for a moment. “Most of the time, foxes mate for life, and we o-only mate to have kits. You’re telling me humans are different?” Jinki found blush creeping up to his face throughout this entire conversation, and on more than one occasion he found himself glancing at Jonghyun, who was sitting straight across the room watching television.
“Yeah…” Jinki mumbled. “Just don’t try to experiment with this new concept too early!”
Jonghyun wasn’t so far away that he couldn’t hear their conversations. Every now and then he would glance up at them and smile at how red Jinki was and watch him get flustered trying to explain the way humans did things to a confused Kibum.
When Jinki finally turned the conversation to reading, Kibum completely latched onto Jinki as if he were a god. “Teach me to read better, pleeeeeeeeeease!” Kibum begged.
“Fine, fine, I’ll go grab a book and we can start.”
“Hey!” Taeyeon protested. “That’s my job!”
“You’re doing homework. I’ll substitute just for today.”
Taeyeon pouted.
“So what do you want to read exactly?” Jinki asked Kibum.
“I want to read a story with lots of magic,” he said with a smile.
“Then I have just the book for you!” A knock came to the door just as Jinki ran upstairs to his old room to grab his tattered copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Jonghyun got up to answer it, but the person behind the door was not someone he expected.
“Minho?” Jonghyun questioned. “What are you doing here?”
“Um…” He looked exceedingly uncomfortable. He looked like he wanted to say something, but every time he opened his mouth he would just close it again and continue looking uncomfortable.
“Would you like to come in?” Jonghyun asked. Minho just blinked at him for a long moment. Then he nodded and Jonghyun stood aside as Minho passed through the doorway. “Guys, look who’s here!” Jonghyun announced.
Taeyeon and Kibum looked up from what they were doing and smiled. They greeted him happily before Taeyeon went back to her homework and Kibum was distracted by Jinki who came down the stairs with a beat up old book in his hands. Jinki gave Minho a little wave of welcome and a smile as he headed towards Kibum to hand him the book.
“Do you want to sit down?” Jonghyun offered as everyone went about their own business. Minho just took the seat next to Jonghyun. They remained silent for a long time. Minho watched everybody, but Jonghyun merely went back to his television show.
“Has everything been alright?” Minho asked after what seemed like a long time.
Jonghyun nodded. “For us it has, but what about you?” he asked. “Are you feeling better than you were yesterday?”
Minho didn’t respond right away, but when he did, there was a frown on his face. “Being human sucks,” Minho admitted. “I walk everywhere, I’m always tired, I’m going to die in a matter of years because I’m no long immortal, and I have no magic anymore.” He looked at his hands as if he were seeing them for the first time.
“I meant to ask you about that,” Jonghyun mentioned. “Why aren’t you immortal anymore? And where did your magic go?”
“Do I really need to answer that?” Minho asked. “I was pretty much out of magic for the past few days. I had just barely enough to keep those two spells going for a little longer, but they weren’t going to last much longer.” Jonghyun nodded. “Do you remember the day I showed you my wings?”
Jonghyun nodded again. “I remember. They were the most beautiful wings I had ever seen. And their feathers were so white they shined.”
“Then you must have realized that the feathers I gave to Jinki were from those wings.”
“Of course I did,” Jonghyun said.
Minho flashed a half smile that was far less than happy. “Those wings were my magic reserves. I have to have those reserves to maintain my immortality and the ability to regenerate my magic. The magic I keep in my reserves is more potent because it’s been sitting around for so long. I suppose it would be easy for humans to understand if I compare it to wine. It gets better with age. So this magic is far more powerful than the magic I have on hand,” Minho explained. “But I tore out my own feathers and gave my reserves to those two to make their spells last for as long as they live.” Minho waved his hand in the general direction of Jinki and Kibum who were engrossed in the very first page of their book. “As a result, I have nothing left and no way to restore my magic. I’m basically human now.”
Jonghyun now realized just how big a sacrifice Minho had made for them. He didn’t just sacrifice wings to give Jinki back to him and give Taeyeon and Kibum a chance together, he sacrificed hundreds and hundreds - maybe even thousands - of years of his life to make them happy. Or maybe he was aiming at one person the entire time.
“I guess the bright side,” Minho began, “is that even though I’m not with you the way I want to be, I won’t have to live forever without you when you die.” And Jonghyun couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt at not being able to return Minho’s feelings.
A question came to mind. “Why did you lie to Jinki when you gave him your feathers?” Jonghyun asked.
Minho glanced across the room at Jinki who was explaining how to read the names of characters in the story. Sometimes they were pronounced different from how they looked and it was confusing Kibum. “Half of it was that I wanted to torture him with the thought that he was holding the key to his own death in his hands. I haven’t exactly been happy while bringing him back for you instead of trying to take you for myself. So I was trying to take it out on him for as long as I could.”
“What was the other half?” Jonghyun asked, not missing a beat.
Minho paused before answering. “I wanted to know he was really willing to do anything it took to make sure that you lived happily. He was willing to kill himself so that you wouldn’t hold on to something that was never going to be yours again.” Then he laughed bitterly, remembering vaguely hearing Jinki’s talk with Jonghyun through the strings of magic. “But I didn’t imagine that he would actually bring you into it, even if it was quite clever if you ask me.”
“It was completely terrifying,” Jonghyun muttered.
“And it worked,” Minho pointed out. “You let go even though your heart was breaking and were completely willing to take his life so he could find peace.”
“But then I discovered that he was alive and I clung to him all over again,” Jonghyun commented.
“But he got you to let go of him at least once,” Minho noted. “That means you are capable of letting go. That means I still have a chance with you.”
Thinking about what Minho had just said, Jonghyun looked up and watched as Jinki momentarily got up to bring over some chips and cheese for all of them to eat before going back to Kibum and the book. Jonghyun loved it when Taeyeon made faces at him for helping Kibum when she was supposed to be helping him. Jinki made yet another comment about math and Taeyeon pouted some more.
Jinki laughed. Jonghyun smiled.
“No, Minho, you don’t.”
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