Ambiguity to Clarity
Self-Summary (in progress)
or
Self-in-Progress (summary)
or
Ambiguity---->Clarity
I don’t ID as bi. Or lesbian. The only thing I solidly ID as is queer because it’s so big and fluid and ambiguous and as a community label it includes many of my loved ones and potential loved-ones. Loved ones or loved-ones?
I live comfortably with the ambiguous. I feel ambiguous about a lot of things and I’m learning to embrace this. I love to try to make up my mind and consider lots of ideas and information but I don’t arrive at a lot of conclusions. I am just one little human brain in a world of realities far beyond comprehensive understanding. Who am I to be conclusive? I’m (mostly) comfortable with the tension of ambiguousness.
Then again, at other times I put a lot of energy into determining what is THE BEST choice to make in a given situation. Such as what will be THE BEST pair of shoes to buy, balancing the fulfillment of a number of factors including comfort and aesthetic and price. This way of operating is addictive and crazy making and is probably the reason I have learned to sit well with ambiguity. If I hadn’t learned that, I would be constantly strung out, analyzing everything and banging my head against walls.
Sometimes I feel like I ought to be express stronger opinions. That might be partly true, but truly I am so aware of how I cannot possibly ever be fully informed that I am always open to my opinions shifting and if I’ve shouted my opinion the rooftops and then it later changes, I feel like an idiot. I fear judgement. Also, I feel able to see things from many perspectives and I enjoy the potential for connection this opens up. I don’t want to categorize myself and cordon myself off with a certain group and miss out on all the other people out there and their fascination perspectives.
I’m trying to convince you that while I FEEL wishy washy, I think and want to believe that this is OPENNESS. It comes with desirable traits such as generosity and empathy.
I am empathetic to the ideas of anti-capitalism. But I also accept that this is the way the world works right now and I don’t see a way out. I support the pursuit of a way out...I just don’t see it.
I try to be actively anti-racist. I don’t pretend to know the rights and wrongs of doing this but it is important to me.
^Same with being anti-fat-phobic, anti-ableist, anti-transphobic, anti-transmisogynist, anti-binary-centric. All the buzzwords! But seriously…
I suppose I have a lot of views that are not so ambiguous^. Apparently. What’s ambiguous to me is what to DO. What is right and wrong action in relation to these ideals. That is the type of thing I don’t pretend to know. I sometimes have ideas about it, but I’m open to being called out. I’m open to new suggestions. I’m not open to...severely rigid notions of right and wrong without empathy.
I am against the prison-industrial complex.
I am against the 40hr work week.
I am against occupation as identity, but I haven’t managed to escape this within my own head.
I am against marriage as a state-controlled institution.
Oh.
I do have a lot of solid opinions. I’m just afraid of them sometimes.
or
Self-in-Progress (summary)
or
Ambiguity---->Clarity
I don’t ID as bi. Or lesbian. The only thing I solidly ID as is queer because it’s so big and fluid and ambiguous and as a community label it includes many of my loved ones and potential loved-ones. Loved ones or loved-ones?
I live comfortably with the ambiguous. I feel ambiguous about a lot of things and I’m learning to embrace this. I love to try to make up my mind and consider lots of ideas and information but I don’t arrive at a lot of conclusions. I am just one little human brain in a world of realities far beyond comprehensive understanding. Who am I to be conclusive? I’m (mostly) comfortable with the tension of ambiguousness.
Then again, at other times I put a lot of energy into determining what is THE BEST choice to make in a given situation. Such as what will be THE BEST pair of shoes to buy, balancing the fulfillment of a number of factors including comfort and aesthetic and price. This way of operating is addictive and crazy making and is probably the reason I have learned to sit well with ambiguity. If I hadn’t learned that, I would be constantly strung out, analyzing everything and banging my head against walls.
Sometimes I feel like I ought to be express stronger opinions. That might be partly true, but truly I am so aware of how I cannot possibly ever be fully informed that I am always open to my opinions shifting and if I’ve shouted my opinion the rooftops and then it later changes, I feel like an idiot. I fear judgement. Also, I feel able to see things from many perspectives and I enjoy the potential for connection this opens up. I don’t want to categorize myself and cordon myself off with a certain group and miss out on all the other people out there and their fascination perspectives.
I’m trying to convince you that while I FEEL wishy washy, I think and want to believe that this is OPENNESS. It comes with desirable traits such as generosity and empathy.
I am empathetic to the ideas of anti-capitalism. But I also accept that this is the way the world works right now and I don’t see a way out. I support the pursuit of a way out...I just don’t see it.
I try to be actively anti-racist. I don’t pretend to know the rights and wrongs of doing this but it is important to me.
^Same with being anti-fat-phobic, anti-ableist, anti-transphobic, anti-transmisogynist, anti-binary-centric. All the buzzwords! But seriously…
I suppose I have a lot of views that are not so ambiguous^. Apparently. What’s ambiguous to me is what to DO. What is right and wrong action in relation to these ideals. That is the type of thing I don’t pretend to know. I sometimes have ideas about it, but I’m open to being called out. I’m open to new suggestions. I’m not open to...severely rigid notions of right and wrong without empathy.
I am against the prison-industrial complex.
I am against the 40hr work week.
I am against occupation as identity, but I haven’t managed to escape this within my own head.
I am against marriage as a state-controlled institution.
Oh.
I do have a lot of solid opinions. I’m just afraid of them sometimes.