(no subject)
I miss you. When you were alive, most recently, and we were not really friends any more...I didn't miss you, not consciously. But I missed my community. I got used to that feeling.
You are so real to me. I feel closer to you now than I have in years because I put you out of my mind and now here you are. I see you on facebook. I listen to music that reminds others of you. I look at all your pictures. I can see the stupid facebook games you played just a month ago. And it's like you're alive, in Irvine. Just 400 miles away. Just a facebook away, like everyone else that I miss. I live through facebook. I miss and love and keep track of all my irvine queers through facebook. They don't know it. But that's become a big part of my life since moving to the bay. And now. Now suddenly I'm thinking about you and looking you up all the time and you are more a part of my life now than you have been in years. I miss you. I can't believe you're gone GONE. Really gone. I cannot get it through my head because there's no different in my own life. Only this intense pain that my friends are going through. And acquaintances. Almost friends. Potential friends. Someday friends. Maybe just friends now because of you, Chris.
Why? Why? Really? No take-backs? No yelling at you WHAT THE FUCK CHRIS?! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR? COME ON NOW. Come on. Like stealing from your roommates. Like getting a bunny and then not coming home ever to take care of it I just want to shake my head and scold you and I wish I had called and scolded you before. It's like Steggie said: I just want to call and tell you what you've done and how much we miss you. What the fuck.
You should be here. You should be here. Why...where...are you? Come back. Please. come back
You are so real to me. I feel closer to you now than I have in years because I put you out of my mind and now here you are. I see you on facebook. I listen to music that reminds others of you. I look at all your pictures. I can see the stupid facebook games you played just a month ago. And it's like you're alive, in Irvine. Just 400 miles away. Just a facebook away, like everyone else that I miss. I live through facebook. I miss and love and keep track of all my irvine queers through facebook. They don't know it. But that's become a big part of my life since moving to the bay. And now. Now suddenly I'm thinking about you and looking you up all the time and you are more a part of my life now than you have been in years. I miss you. I can't believe you're gone GONE. Really gone. I cannot get it through my head because there's no different in my own life. Only this intense pain that my friends are going through. And acquaintances. Almost friends. Potential friends. Someday friends. Maybe just friends now because of you, Chris.
Why? Why? Really? No take-backs? No yelling at you WHAT THE FUCK CHRIS?! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR? COME ON NOW. Come on. Like stealing from your roommates. Like getting a bunny and then not coming home ever to take care of it I just want to shake my head and scold you and I wish I had called and scolded you before. It's like Steggie said: I just want to call and tell you what you've done and how much we miss you. What the fuck.
You should be here. You should be here. Why...where...are you? Come back. Please. come back