(no subject)
I want a hug. I want to fall into someone and feel warm and wanted and cared for. I want to have a slow day of nothing with someone who's seen me near my worst and still loves me. I want quiet conversation. Nuzzles. Naps. Walks. To sit by the lake and fall asleep on the grass together. Caresses and lazy kisses. I want comfort and sleep. I want love. I want to not be alone. I want to know that someone is thinking of me and wishing we were nearer.
I feel wet and weepy. Sleepy and a little weak. I'm sad. I feel like I need a week to just fall a part a little. Really just a little. But I still need it. Because I miss you. And maybe I do miss you first because I'm lonely and second because you're awesome. Is that so wrong?
Thank you for making me feel so special. I cherished that while it lasted. I didn't realize it would fade so fast, even though I'm the one who put an end to it--I can see that. I think I'm even more glad for that time now that it's over... Of course I'm hoping to feel that again from you, but it seems to me you've moved on.
11:11
Making silly wishes. But I suppose wishes are silly. I make my own destiny. I made this sadness and now I'm soaking in it.
I'm thinking of you often. There seems no way or reason to communicate that to you. So I haven't called or messaged. But I hope every day to hear from you.
I feel replaced. You're excited about someone else. Were you aware of how much you were talking about her? Were you doing it on purpose or did you think it wouldn't bother me? Or did you think I'd be excited for you? I'd be excited if I felt so special...but I feel unimportant. I feel boring. I feel unexciting and unspecial. Expendable. Nice. But expendable. And what can I say? What did I expect when I called it off?
I miss you. For whatever reason , I miss you.
You know what? I love your humor and wit. I love your intelligence and your logic. I love the way you care for the people in your life. I love the way you see people and figure them out. I love that you work so meticulously to be the person you want to be--to take care of yourself and to be good to everyone in your world. I love your silliness. I love when you share how you feel--how proud of yourself you are over some accomplishment, when you're happy for others' good fortune, when you're excited about something coming up, when you're working through your anger or frustration. I like to hear about your day, from how being 2 minutes late was stressful to how you went about your lesson. I miss all of that very much. That's all you.
I think I miss you because you're you, but I miss you so intensely because I am so intensely lonely.
I feel wet and weepy. Sleepy and a little weak. I'm sad. I feel like I need a week to just fall a part a little. Really just a little. But I still need it. Because I miss you. And maybe I do miss you first because I'm lonely and second because you're awesome. Is that so wrong?
Thank you for making me feel so special. I cherished that while it lasted. I didn't realize it would fade so fast, even though I'm the one who put an end to it--I can see that. I think I'm even more glad for that time now that it's over... Of course I'm hoping to feel that again from you, but it seems to me you've moved on.
11:11
Making silly wishes. But I suppose wishes are silly. I make my own destiny. I made this sadness and now I'm soaking in it.
I'm thinking of you often. There seems no way or reason to communicate that to you. So I haven't called or messaged. But I hope every day to hear from you.
I feel replaced. You're excited about someone else. Were you aware of how much you were talking about her? Were you doing it on purpose or did you think it wouldn't bother me? Or did you think I'd be excited for you? I'd be excited if I felt so special...but I feel unimportant. I feel boring. I feel unexciting and unspecial. Expendable. Nice. But expendable. And what can I say? What did I expect when I called it off?
I miss you. For whatever reason , I miss you.
You know what? I love your humor and wit. I love your intelligence and your logic. I love the way you care for the people in your life. I love the way you see people and figure them out. I love that you work so meticulously to be the person you want to be--to take care of yourself and to be good to everyone in your world. I love your silliness. I love when you share how you feel--how proud of yourself you are over some accomplishment, when you're happy for others' good fortune, when you're excited about something coming up, when you're working through your anger or frustration. I like to hear about your day, from how being 2 minutes late was stressful to how you went about your lesson. I miss all of that very much. That's all you.
I think I miss you because you're you, but I miss you so intensely because I am so intensely lonely.