i just feel like posting some old poems.
and when i say old poems... i mean really old. like years old. but at least they are mine. and, like all my poetry, really crappy.
forgotten with your thoughts of yesteryear
the children starve
for lack of love
the times they had
within your arms
are nothing compared
to the love they need
the nourishment you provide
does nothing but poison
and kill
leaving them nothing
but dried husks
shells of humans
ghosts in a machine
their every thought
every action
planed in advance
plotted by the creator
who strangles individuality
each of the million
just like the one before
and no one
anymore
is individual
the lives that they have lost
have been in vain
for their freedoms are insecure
and their lives have no meaning
they are the children
the masks you've created
the children of america
strangled in the masses
becoming one
out of many
a whole that is so deprived
that it can no longer function.
bubble bath in ether
Titanium bubble surrounds
Ether seeps into your blood
You can’t feel anything
But numbness
Why can’t you feel the sick lethargy?
Foul ether
Sugar coats life
Scream out at the world
No one will follow you
When you leave
Sweet bubble bath in ether
Hide the pain from me
Why don’t you, please?
Sweet ether
Keep me sane in insanity
Make me forget
What should have been forgotten
Long, long ago
Sweet ether
Trapped in titanium
Seep into MY blood
Keep ME safe from the pain
A bubble bath in ether
Because everybody needs to forget sometimes…
Sweet ether
Bubbling all around
Not a breath of air for me
Only ether
Sweet ether to keep me from all the pain in this world
Why did you quite working?
Why must I face them on my own?
Why must I be here all alone?
Why am I raving like this?
And why is there no escape?
Why are there things
That we must forget
Just to be able to get up in the morning?
Why are there things
That are so horrible
That we cannot look them in the face?
Why does there have to be a reaction for every action?
Why does there have to be a horrible consequence
When I finally decide to do something good?
Why do we allow such horrible things to happen?
Why do we not try to stop them?
Why are we forced to live in a fake world?
A fake world of happiness, fake world of euphoria?
Why can’t we live in the real world?
The world of pain and unjustness and unhappiness?
The real world, the world of suffering?
Why are we the ones that are afraid of the real world?
Especially if we think we own it?
Why, then, are we the ones that run from it?
I don’t know…
I quite asking why a long time ago…
But now I’ve started again
And I need to make up for all my lost time.
When everybody else knows why
I am left to sigh.
I will never know
For the answers (as well as the questions) were hidden from me.
Everybody else had the world in their grasp,
It was denied to me.
They rejected it…
And were finally lost to the world of dreams…
Sweet, ignorant dreams…
the ocean (my first "epic" poem)
I’m all-alone in a sea of people.
I see a face I remember.
A ray of hope I allow to enter
My hardened exterior.
I don’t know them.
I slump back into my depression,
Deeper than before.
I must remember that hope brings only sadness,
Right down to the core.
It can only spread from my soul into my head,
Already my heart has been destroyed.
I think I’m going insane.
So, why, oh why, did the baby cry,
Curled in its mother’s womb?
So, why, oh why, did the pumpkin fly,
O'er the blue moon?
“Why, oh why, must I always win the race?”
Said the tortoise to the hare.
“Why, oh why, must you stuff your face?”
Said the honeybee to the bear.
I’m drowning in a sea of people,
With no one there I know.
I must remember that hope brings only sadness,
Right down to the core.
I know I can’t remember,
But I think I came this way before.
I’m afraid I’m losing my humanity.
Never again will I see a face,
As friendly as yours.
Judging I am not,
All will I accept,
But I will let none in,
Other than you.
Any one else would throw me away,
Like a piece of trash in the wind.
The sea turned into an ocean,
And despair is what the tide brought.
Sadness is a constant here,
And happiness a myth not known.
I’m all-alone in a sea of people,
Drowning in despair
Never again will I smile,
But only shed tears.
And thus it shall continue,
For uncountable years.
The cold is coming,
To freeze you into a brick.
Every life is cold,
But this one is mine.
the dungeon (first poem ever)
Dark and creepy,
Tales of torture.
Innocent dead on a dungeon bed!
Dark and creepy,
Don’t get sleepy!
Or you’ll see red on your dungeon bed!
(Second grade)
gears
I need to begin my recuperation.
The world is falling down around my ears.
The silence is deafening,
And the words are hard to hear.
The voices in my head have a life of their own.
They are driving me insane.
Can’t they see all I need is a friend?
Why am I the one chosen,
To be the worlds end?
I see the shadows creeping upon me,
Death like a glove on them.
The world is changing.
Death and pain have new meaning.
My life was a waste,
And I’m out-dated.
In the end,
I’m the one that fate rests on!
The chosen Child,
The Child of Light,
See me fight
To stay sane in a world of insanity!
What has happened to me?
Where am I?
Am I dead?
If I was then I would not be mad.
Am I alive?
Am I real?
If I was then I would be sad!
Why am I not glad?
I’m not dead,
I’m not alive,
But where in hell
Am I?
See me cry into my pillow at night.
The gears are turning,
And now the silence has come!
?
The world has spun out of control.
I can see no longer.
Go away.
Stay right there.
Go insane.
But cling to sanity!
Pull together.
Rip it all to pieces!
See the world through my eyes.
I know nothing any more.
The shining sea is back again.
Sigh with me
Then scream!
See the world,
It’s shattering!
In my mind, I go insane.
I’m forced to stay right here.
Go to hell, my friends!
Demons eat me alive.
Kittens scream in the dark.
Eyes are shining from outer space.
Fireflies are buzzing around your brain.
Tinkerbell, as for her, she murdered my frog at noon.
Happy faces are smashing my head in.
Water falls, from the ground.
Dirt has grown into the sky!
Die, my love, die!
Screaming,
Dreaming,
Trying to stay sane.
Worlds collide
In my head,
Nothing can I do.
Happy places depress me.
Memories are not good.
Echoing, here and there,
They drive my crazy,
All day and all night.
IN THE EVENING
In the evening,
When the stars come out in the sky,
And the moon is over our eyes,
The spirits come out to play.
The spirits of Death and Famine rule all.
The Fairy of Dreams comes out,
To Bless or Curse those whom She pleases,
With Dreams of all kinds.
Hopes and Sorrows fill the sky
For the Moon to sort.
The Moon tries to take
Our Hopes and Good Dreams,
Aspirations and Goals.
But the Spirit of Death cries out,
“No!
If you could let the people keep them,
For but one more day!”
So the Moon complies,
And thus, slowly dies,
Growing Darker and Farther away.
Rainbows stretch in the sky,
And the birds fly just as high.
Kittens crawl to the trees,
Making little birdies scream.
I am mean,
I am cruel,
And I am evil,
I am the death of sanity.
People scream when I come,
And they try to stay sane.
She starts to fight,
And dies.
The room called hell.
The smell of burned out candles fills the air.
The spilled water shows that no one cares.
Incense burns
Long and bright.
A bell is ringing now.
A doll's hair has been burned,
A crooked knife is stuck in her chest.
A face on the wall,
Asleep and crying.
A toyshop display,
And papers everywhere.
Books on some shelves
China figurines here and there.
Horses on a shelf,
And splashes of pink everywhere.
Huddled on her bed,
The owner of this all,
Hunched over a book,
All dressed in black,
Writes hard
And cries inside.
I can hear you crying,
And inside I know that I’m dieing,
But you can live without me,
And I can’t live without you.
Seeing you die there before me,
Makes me know my demise.
I help too much,
And laugh too hard,
And it’s all a lie…
Acting is such a fake visage,
Everybody knows.
But I cannot live without it,
For my true self to disclose.
Hating myself,
And everyone,
No body wants to care.
They whisper my name
Like a curse on somebody new.
Screaming at the top of my lungs,
I realize
That my demise
Is just a blessing in disguise.
Can’t anybody see
Why I’m unhappy?
Death is what I dream about
When other girls dream about their future.
A smile as wholesome
As poison,
Leaves a bitter aftertaste
In my mouth.
I know
It hurts you
To see me so cruel,
So mean,
The death everything in-between.
I feel that life has kicked me
When I’m down,
I know.
It hurts you for me to be so callus to you.
But can’t you see
The pain therein
For me?
I know
You want me to stay.
I know
You said to go away…
But I
Know when it’s best
For you to be alone.
I know
You’ll try to die
If I leave you right now.
So you see,
I understand after all.
So I see
You don’t care at all.
So now i finally know
That i was never anything
To you.
The fire flickers violently before it burns out,
But what if the flame never came about?
I try to cry,
Surrounded by shame,
I try to cry,
When no one knows my name.
The flaming tears,
A tormented soul’s only escape,
Are banished from my face.
The fire that it requires,
To feel emotion when you are all alone,
Has flickered and gone out.
The courage I lack
To have any feelings
Surrounds those I care about.
I am the only one devoid of the life giving fire,
I feed it to others,
Making them strong in the end.
And I realize,
This is my demise,
Cling to it to the end.
Tears shining in the moonlight,
The breeze blowing,
Shatters my heart like
So many pieces of broken glass.
It just means that I no longer feel.
Emotions are nonexistent.
I no longer care.
Why am I here?
I look out for only me.
Everybody else just hurts me.
No one even cares.
Depressed and deadly,
I grabbed my knife,
A gun held in the air.
No body dares to hurt me now.
I scream out at them.
No body looks up from their pitiful lives.
A gunshot in the air,
A knife in my chest,
It’s the end of all the pain,
The end me.
I watch fantasy cartoons
In the middle of my room,
Trying to escape reality!
Loose myself in them.
Be happy within them.
Forget my loneliness
And learn to fake bliss.
Euphoric sadness envelops me.
Depressed smiles are showing here.
No one cares
Any more
So why not now?
Crying,
Or at least trying to.
Why me?
Why not you?
I am afraid of the Darkness
The Darkness that can hide in the Light.
The way the shadows loom upon us,
And consume us in their darkness,
Such a beautiful,
Beautiful nightmare!
Tears freeze on my face,
I am frozen now.
No one even gives a damn that I’m not here.
So why not now?
Crying,
Or at least trying to.
Why me?
Why not you?
Children fight a harder fight than I.
Watch them closely,
And you will see them sigh.
A fight for morality in the end
A fight for justness in the end.
“People are crying,
People are dying,
Everywhere, everywhere.”
So why not now?
stolen paradice
A few moments of stolen paradise
Try to cling to them.
A few moments of stolen paradise
Slip through your fingers.
A natural high
A natural happiness
Does neither exist?
A clip of artwork
Severely fierce pride
As you show it to the world.
Momentous happiness
Stolen paradise
A natural euphoria
Made by arranged streaks of lead.
Compliments and complaints
Are heaped from all sides.
You forget how to distinguish them.
A few moments of stolen paradise
Helpfully, happily horrific
Screaming and dreaming are now one.
Artwork slips through your fingers.
Don’t pick it up again
For it’s just a stolen paradise.
Forget it now.
Stolen paradise cries.
I can make you laugh,
And I know that I can make you cry,
But what you can do to me
Makes that pale in comparison.
The ability to give people laughter,
Or make them cry out loud,
Is nothing compared to making them happy or sad,
Forever, until the end.
You can decide for me,
you can make me happy,
you can make me sad.
I go home every night and mentally cry.
I go home every night and verbally sigh.
I go home and wish to be smashed.
I go home and wish to be crushed.
I go home and wish to be no more.
I go home and wish to be your girl.
It’s all I want from you,
It’s all I want from life.
So here I am again...
Sitting here, typing again,
Trying one more time to regain sanity.
I feel almost nothing,
As I sit here typing
I feel almost nothing
But pain
Worry
Despair
Anger
Depression
Worry
Pain
That seems to be all I can feel.
Sitting here,
Wishing I could heal.
Every time I think I’m better
Oops, there I go again,
Depression swelling up again
If only it would get better...
I try to be optimistic
I try to help myself
I try to help others
But none of that helps
At least it doesn't help me...
I feel like the time that I’ve spent here was a waste
Not of my time, but of theirs
The time of the people that I now care about was wasted...
There are but a few
Who mean anything to me?
But they mean the world,
Each and every one...
So here I am again
Trying to heal...
So here I am again
Trying to feel
Like I’ve said before
In the days of old,
The good old "happy" days long gone,
Here they are,
Crashing waves of depression
Leave me shallow
And leave me hollow,
Leave me bleeding in my soul.
If these words are harsh,
Or if they sound unreal,
Here is a dose of reality:
NO ONE IS REALLY HAPPY!!!
Not a one.
It’s just a delusion
Made from "sane" minds.
I think,
So I die,
I am living dead,
I CANNOT BE HURT ANY WORSE!!!!
I have reached zero...
~demi
forgotten with your thoughts of yesteryear
the children starve
for lack of love
the times they had
within your arms
are nothing compared
to the love they need
the nourishment you provide
does nothing but poison
and kill
leaving them nothing
but dried husks
shells of humans
ghosts in a machine
their every thought
every action
planed in advance
plotted by the creator
who strangles individuality
each of the million
just like the one before
and no one
anymore
is individual
the lives that they have lost
have been in vain
for their freedoms are insecure
and their lives have no meaning
they are the children
the masks you've created
the children of america
strangled in the masses
becoming one
out of many
a whole that is so deprived
that it can no longer function.
bubble bath in ether
Titanium bubble surrounds
Ether seeps into your blood
You can’t feel anything
But numbness
Why can’t you feel the sick lethargy?
Foul ether
Sugar coats life
Scream out at the world
No one will follow you
When you leave
Sweet bubble bath in ether
Hide the pain from me
Why don’t you, please?
Sweet ether
Keep me sane in insanity
Make me forget
What should have been forgotten
Long, long ago
Sweet ether
Trapped in titanium
Seep into MY blood
Keep ME safe from the pain
A bubble bath in ether
Because everybody needs to forget sometimes…
Sweet ether
Bubbling all around
Not a breath of air for me
Only ether
Sweet ether to keep me from all the pain in this world
Why did you quite working?
Why must I face them on my own?
Why must I be here all alone?
Why am I raving like this?
And why is there no escape?
Why are there things
That we must forget
Just to be able to get up in the morning?
Why are there things
That are so horrible
That we cannot look them in the face?
Why does there have to be a reaction for every action?
Why does there have to be a horrible consequence
When I finally decide to do something good?
Why do we allow such horrible things to happen?
Why do we not try to stop them?
Why are we forced to live in a fake world?
A fake world of happiness, fake world of euphoria?
Why can’t we live in the real world?
The world of pain and unjustness and unhappiness?
The real world, the world of suffering?
Why are we the ones that are afraid of the real world?
Especially if we think we own it?
Why, then, are we the ones that run from it?
I don’t know…
I quite asking why a long time ago…
But now I’ve started again
And I need to make up for all my lost time.
When everybody else knows why
I am left to sigh.
I will never know
For the answers (as well as the questions) were hidden from me.
Everybody else had the world in their grasp,
It was denied to me.
They rejected it…
And were finally lost to the world of dreams…
Sweet, ignorant dreams…
the ocean (my first "epic" poem)
I’m all-alone in a sea of people.
I see a face I remember.
A ray of hope I allow to enter
My hardened exterior.
I don’t know them.
I slump back into my depression,
Deeper than before.
I must remember that hope brings only sadness,
Right down to the core.
It can only spread from my soul into my head,
Already my heart has been destroyed.
I think I’m going insane.
So, why, oh why, did the baby cry,
Curled in its mother’s womb?
So, why, oh why, did the pumpkin fly,
O'er the blue moon?
“Why, oh why, must I always win the race?”
Said the tortoise to the hare.
“Why, oh why, must you stuff your face?”
Said the honeybee to the bear.
I’m drowning in a sea of people,
With no one there I know.
I must remember that hope brings only sadness,
Right down to the core.
I know I can’t remember,
But I think I came this way before.
I’m afraid I’m losing my humanity.
Never again will I see a face,
As friendly as yours.
Judging I am not,
All will I accept,
But I will let none in,
Other than you.
Any one else would throw me away,
Like a piece of trash in the wind.
The sea turned into an ocean,
And despair is what the tide brought.
Sadness is a constant here,
And happiness a myth not known.
I’m all-alone in a sea of people,
Drowning in despair
Never again will I smile,
But only shed tears.
And thus it shall continue,
For uncountable years.
The cold is coming,
To freeze you into a brick.
Every life is cold,
But this one is mine.
the dungeon (first poem ever)
Dark and creepy,
Tales of torture.
Innocent dead on a dungeon bed!
Dark and creepy,
Don’t get sleepy!
Or you’ll see red on your dungeon bed!
(Second grade)
gears
I need to begin my recuperation.
The world is falling down around my ears.
The silence is deafening,
And the words are hard to hear.
The voices in my head have a life of their own.
They are driving me insane.
Can’t they see all I need is a friend?
Why am I the one chosen,
To be the worlds end?
I see the shadows creeping upon me,
Death like a glove on them.
The world is changing.
Death and pain have new meaning.
My life was a waste,
And I’m out-dated.
In the end,
I’m the one that fate rests on!
The chosen Child,
The Child of Light,
See me fight
To stay sane in a world of insanity!
What has happened to me?
Where am I?
Am I dead?
If I was then I would not be mad.
Am I alive?
Am I real?
If I was then I would be sad!
Why am I not glad?
I’m not dead,
I’m not alive,
But where in hell
Am I?
See me cry into my pillow at night.
The gears are turning,
And now the silence has come!
?
The world has spun out of control.
I can see no longer.
Go away.
Stay right there.
Go insane.
But cling to sanity!
Pull together.
Rip it all to pieces!
See the world through my eyes.
I know nothing any more.
The shining sea is back again.
Sigh with me
Then scream!
See the world,
It’s shattering!
In my mind, I go insane.
I’m forced to stay right here.
Go to hell, my friends!
Demons eat me alive.
Kittens scream in the dark.
Eyes are shining from outer space.
Fireflies are buzzing around your brain.
Tinkerbell, as for her, she murdered my frog at noon.
Happy faces are smashing my head in.
Water falls, from the ground.
Dirt has grown into the sky!
Die, my love, die!
Screaming,
Dreaming,
Trying to stay sane.
Worlds collide
In my head,
Nothing can I do.
Happy places depress me.
Memories are not good.
Echoing, here and there,
They drive my crazy,
All day and all night.
IN THE EVENING
In the evening,
When the stars come out in the sky,
And the moon is over our eyes,
The spirits come out to play.
The spirits of Death and Famine rule all.
The Fairy of Dreams comes out,
To Bless or Curse those whom She pleases,
With Dreams of all kinds.
Hopes and Sorrows fill the sky
For the Moon to sort.
The Moon tries to take
Our Hopes and Good Dreams,
Aspirations and Goals.
But the Spirit of Death cries out,
“No!
If you could let the people keep them,
For but one more day!”
So the Moon complies,
And thus, slowly dies,
Growing Darker and Farther away.
Rainbows stretch in the sky,
And the birds fly just as high.
Kittens crawl to the trees,
Making little birdies scream.
I am mean,
I am cruel,
And I am evil,
I am the death of sanity.
People scream when I come,
And they try to stay sane.
She starts to fight,
And dies.
The room called hell.
The smell of burned out candles fills the air.
The spilled water shows that no one cares.
Incense burns
Long and bright.
A bell is ringing now.
A doll's hair has been burned,
A crooked knife is stuck in her chest.
A face on the wall,
Asleep and crying.
A toyshop display,
And papers everywhere.
Books on some shelves
China figurines here and there.
Horses on a shelf,
And splashes of pink everywhere.
Huddled on her bed,
The owner of this all,
Hunched over a book,
All dressed in black,
Writes hard
And cries inside.
I can hear you crying,
And inside I know that I’m dieing,
But you can live without me,
And I can’t live without you.
Seeing you die there before me,
Makes me know my demise.
I help too much,
And laugh too hard,
And it’s all a lie…
Acting is such a fake visage,
Everybody knows.
But I cannot live without it,
For my true self to disclose.
Hating myself,
And everyone,
No body wants to care.
They whisper my name
Like a curse on somebody new.
Screaming at the top of my lungs,
I realize
That my demise
Is just a blessing in disguise.
Can’t anybody see
Why I’m unhappy?
Death is what I dream about
When other girls dream about their future.
A smile as wholesome
As poison,
Leaves a bitter aftertaste
In my mouth.
I know
It hurts you
To see me so cruel,
So mean,
The death everything in-between.
I feel that life has kicked me
When I’m down,
I know.
It hurts you for me to be so callus to you.
But can’t you see
The pain therein
For me?
I know
You want me to stay.
I know
You said to go away…
But I
Know when it’s best
For you to be alone.
I know
You’ll try to die
If I leave you right now.
So you see,
I understand after all.
So I see
You don’t care at all.
So now i finally know
That i was never anything
To you.
The fire flickers violently before it burns out,
But what if the flame never came about?
I try to cry,
Surrounded by shame,
I try to cry,
When no one knows my name.
The flaming tears,
A tormented soul’s only escape,
Are banished from my face.
The fire that it requires,
To feel emotion when you are all alone,
Has flickered and gone out.
The courage I lack
To have any feelings
Surrounds those I care about.
I am the only one devoid of the life giving fire,
I feed it to others,
Making them strong in the end.
And I realize,
This is my demise,
Cling to it to the end.
Tears shining in the moonlight,
The breeze blowing,
Shatters my heart like
So many pieces of broken glass.
It just means that I no longer feel.
Emotions are nonexistent.
I no longer care.
Why am I here?
I look out for only me.
Everybody else just hurts me.
No one even cares.
Depressed and deadly,
I grabbed my knife,
A gun held in the air.
No body dares to hurt me now.
I scream out at them.
No body looks up from their pitiful lives.
A gunshot in the air,
A knife in my chest,
It’s the end of all the pain,
The end me.
I watch fantasy cartoons
In the middle of my room,
Trying to escape reality!
Loose myself in them.
Be happy within them.
Forget my loneliness
And learn to fake bliss.
Euphoric sadness envelops me.
Depressed smiles are showing here.
No one cares
Any more
So why not now?
Crying,
Or at least trying to.
Why me?
Why not you?
I am afraid of the Darkness
The Darkness that can hide in the Light.
The way the shadows loom upon us,
And consume us in their darkness,
Such a beautiful,
Beautiful nightmare!
Tears freeze on my face,
I am frozen now.
No one even gives a damn that I’m not here.
So why not now?
Crying,
Or at least trying to.
Why me?
Why not you?
Children fight a harder fight than I.
Watch them closely,
And you will see them sigh.
A fight for morality in the end
A fight for justness in the end.
“People are crying,
People are dying,
Everywhere, everywhere.”
So why not now?
stolen paradice
A few moments of stolen paradise
Try to cling to them.
A few moments of stolen paradise
Slip through your fingers.
A natural high
A natural happiness
Does neither exist?
A clip of artwork
Severely fierce pride
As you show it to the world.
Momentous happiness
Stolen paradise
A natural euphoria
Made by arranged streaks of lead.
Compliments and complaints
Are heaped from all sides.
You forget how to distinguish them.
A few moments of stolen paradise
Helpfully, happily horrific
Screaming and dreaming are now one.
Artwork slips through your fingers.
Don’t pick it up again
For it’s just a stolen paradise.
Forget it now.
Stolen paradise cries.
I can make you laugh,
And I know that I can make you cry,
But what you can do to me
Makes that pale in comparison.
The ability to give people laughter,
Or make them cry out loud,
Is nothing compared to making them happy or sad,
Forever, until the end.
You can decide for me,
you can make me happy,
you can make me sad.
I go home every night and mentally cry.
I go home every night and verbally sigh.
I go home and wish to be smashed.
I go home and wish to be crushed.
I go home and wish to be no more.
I go home and wish to be your girl.
It’s all I want from you,
It’s all I want from life.
So here I am again...
Sitting here, typing again,
Trying one more time to regain sanity.
I feel almost nothing,
As I sit here typing
I feel almost nothing
But pain
Worry
Despair
Anger
Depression
Worry
Pain
That seems to be all I can feel.
Sitting here,
Wishing I could heal.
Every time I think I’m better
Oops, there I go again,
Depression swelling up again
If only it would get better...
I try to be optimistic
I try to help myself
I try to help others
But none of that helps
At least it doesn't help me...
I feel like the time that I’ve spent here was a waste
Not of my time, but of theirs
The time of the people that I now care about was wasted...
There are but a few
Who mean anything to me?
But they mean the world,
Each and every one...
So here I am again
Trying to heal...
So here I am again
Trying to feel
Like I’ve said before
In the days of old,
The good old "happy" days long gone,
Here they are,
Crashing waves of depression
Leave me shallow
And leave me hollow,
Leave me bleeding in my soul.
If these words are harsh,
Or if they sound unreal,
Here is a dose of reality:
NO ONE IS REALLY HAPPY!!!
Not a one.
It’s just a delusion
Made from "sane" minds.
I think,
So I die,
I am living dead,
I CANNOT BE HURT ANY WORSE!!!!
I have reached zero...
~demi