My last few days...
Wow it has been a few days and so much shit has happened! I'm sittin over @ Pac's house and just got done talking to him. I am over here with my mom she is playin' Mary Kay bunco. It is Friday and I have nothing to do... because of course my plans got canceled at the last minute!!! Oh well tomorrow should be a lot better maybe I'm goin' on a date with Brandon but we are gonna talk a bunch of shit out so I dunno it will prolly make me sad but relieved!!!
So yeah the past few days have sucked so bad like I think Monday night or Tuesday I got into it with Brandon and the sad thing is I don't even remember why really... I do know I was upset because he went to Gatlinburg and didn't even bother to call and I mean I always tell him everything... like where I'm going and who I talk to... I have nothing to hide!!! He should know I so really love him and would do anything for him! He thinks I get mad when he mentions talking to someone else or hanging out with someone else... but he is wrong of course it hurts to think of another girl with him in his bed, kissing him, etc... I really am not mad I just feel like he hides shit from me all the time but maybe/hopefully I am wrong... like maybe he is afraid to tell me this shit but I wanna know if he is dating, kissing, or f-ing someone!!!Ya know??? I mean I tell him about everything. He should know that I don't even talk to Lyndal any more because I know that is not fair and I told him I would not get back with him and it has not even crossed my mind!!! I only want to be with Brandon right now... I know I thought I was attracted to someone else but I was NOT when I was around him ALL I thought about was hoping to see Brandon!!!
I wish things would get better but I just think Brandon is so pissed at me... but I don't know. I mean he like hardly calls and I understand he is busy, but I tried to call him for like 2hours but it was busy so I guess he was on the computer... prolly talkin' to bitches.lol I really hope not! Then I talk to him Thursday for like a few mins after school because I was upset because I had talked to him that morn and he said that this girl...Laura...the girl he was tryin' to date before me... called... well when we went on our break the only thing I asked him was to not have anyhting to do with this girl and he said ok and we laughed about it and he said don't get back with Lyndal and I said ok no prob------Ugh, our song just came on so that makes me sad!!!----well anyway I thought he said he was gonna call her back so ya know that is defently gonna make me mad and upset!!! He said he didn't say that and tried to turn it around and say well you call Mike Owen... well for everyone who knows Mike and I they would laugh... because they know Mike and I have been nothing more than friends for years since I was in 6th or 7th grade we have never tried to be anything more he has just always been there when I have needed him... so he has been there for everything from Lyndal back in the day to now...and he has always said that I better be good to Chief and that he would kick my ass if I got back with Lyndal!!!... so yeah there is nothing there we are like bro and sis!!! So maybe he is acting weird because he has a guilty concious or he was just pissed but I don't know.It just made me sad and upset... after all that I just felt like shit and I feel like he doesn't want to talk to me and like he is so distant and pissed at me. Then my sis-in-law came and got me and we went to my cabin well on my way to my cabin I saw Brandon's truck at Kim and Leons' I guess he was there to see Pate... but he couldn't bother to stop by or call me and talk... I mean when we got off the phone I was cryin' my fucking eyes out I wonder if that even bothered him???!
I love him and I mean it and I will do anything for him but I don't want hurt or played. I just want to know what is up!!!
Thanks to all my friends for being there for me and listenting to me when I really need them... especially you Brook I love you Bitch you are my best friend and thank you so much!!!
Anyway everyone be really careful and have a great weekend... better than mine...lol...I am such a baby... sorry for all my wineing. Everyone have a kick ass Prom and be really careful and you know watch for the 5-O they will defently be hot!!! Love ya all... oh yeah and PS to Kyle and Dustin I loved your hair it was soooo BAD ASS and soooo HOT!!!! I love you 2 you are such PIMPS!!!!
Kisses,
Shina*
So yeah the past few days have sucked so bad like I think Monday night or Tuesday I got into it with Brandon and the sad thing is I don't even remember why really... I do know I was upset because he went to Gatlinburg and didn't even bother to call and I mean I always tell him everything... like where I'm going and who I talk to... I have nothing to hide!!! He should know I so really love him and would do anything for him! He thinks I get mad when he mentions talking to someone else or hanging out with someone else... but he is wrong of course it hurts to think of another girl with him in his bed, kissing him, etc... I really am not mad I just feel like he hides shit from me all the time but maybe/hopefully I am wrong... like maybe he is afraid to tell me this shit but I wanna know if he is dating, kissing, or f-ing someone!!!Ya know??? I mean I tell him about everything. He should know that I don't even talk to Lyndal any more because I know that is not fair and I told him I would not get back with him and it has not even crossed my mind!!! I only want to be with Brandon right now... I know I thought I was attracted to someone else but I was NOT when I was around him ALL I thought about was hoping to see Brandon!!!
I wish things would get better but I just think Brandon is so pissed at me... but I don't know. I mean he like hardly calls and I understand he is busy, but I tried to call him for like 2hours but it was busy so I guess he was on the computer... prolly talkin' to bitches.lol I really hope not! Then I talk to him Thursday for like a few mins after school because I was upset because I had talked to him that morn and he said that this girl...Laura...the girl he was tryin' to date before me... called... well when we went on our break the only thing I asked him was to not have anyhting to do with this girl and he said ok and we laughed about it and he said don't get back with Lyndal and I said ok no prob------Ugh, our song just came on so that makes me sad!!!----well anyway I thought he said he was gonna call her back so ya know that is defently gonna make me mad and upset!!! He said he didn't say that and tried to turn it around and say well you call Mike Owen... well for everyone who knows Mike and I they would laugh... because they know Mike and I have been nothing more than friends for years since I was in 6th or 7th grade we have never tried to be anything more he has just always been there when I have needed him... so he has been there for everything from Lyndal back in the day to now...and he has always said that I better be good to Chief and that he would kick my ass if I got back with Lyndal!!!... so yeah there is nothing there we are like bro and sis!!! So maybe he is acting weird because he has a guilty concious or he was just pissed but I don't know.It just made me sad and upset... after all that I just felt like shit and I feel like he doesn't want to talk to me and like he is so distant and pissed at me. Then my sis-in-law came and got me and we went to my cabin well on my way to my cabin I saw Brandon's truck at Kim and Leons' I guess he was there to see Pate... but he couldn't bother to stop by or call me and talk... I mean when we got off the phone I was cryin' my fucking eyes out I wonder if that even bothered him???!
I love him and I mean it and I will do anything for him but I don't want hurt or played. I just want to know what is up!!!
Thanks to all my friends for being there for me and listenting to me when I really need them... especially you Brook I love you Bitch you are my best friend and thank you so much!!!
Anyway everyone be really careful and have a great weekend... better than mine...lol...I am such a baby... sorry for all my wineing. Everyone have a kick ass Prom and be really careful and you know watch for the 5-O they will defently be hot!!! Love ya all... oh yeah and PS to Kyle and Dustin I loved your hair it was soooo BAD ASS and soooo HOT!!!! I love you 2 you are such PIMPS!!!!
Kisses,
Shina*