"Having an art class at 7:30am will probably cause the spawning of strange art."
Yays. I have time to post!
Anime Iowa was freakin' awesome! Okay, so I didn't get to sell a lot. I sold one big bowl, a tea cup, and four of my figurines (coyote, otter, tiger, and fox). However, I sold everything for full price. I did an art trade with Jacque. She got my green snake and I got her Hatori seahorse. I also did some art trades with the other artists. They came over and handed out some extra prints of stuff and I gave one girl a cup and two other girls each got a scarf. The girl I gave the cup might've been one of the ones who also got a scarf, but I didn't care at that point. --;; I wanted SOMEONE to appreciate the scarves I spent six freakin' hours dyeing. That was just the dyeing, too! 24 hours later I spent about 3 hours fixing the dye and washing them. Then probably 2 hours just ironing the damn things. Silk is not easy to iron. It frustrated me that people would pick stuff up and be "Oh pretty!" or "it's so cute!" or "I like this" or sommat like that and then they just put it down and wander off! Some of them looked at the price and left (they weren't THAT high for something that was freakin' handmade), but there were some that just wandered off! That was really annoying. If they liked it why didn't they think of buying it? *sigh* People are so strange, but I can understand. A lot of people go to Anime conventions looking to buy Anime/manga/video game related merchandise. Since I wasn't selling fanart, there wouldn't be a lot of interest. I enjoyed getting the compliments though. ^^ <3 People really liked my photography and I'm pretty sure if I had been able to get some prints and mat them, then they might've bought those.
I bought a fan with the kanji for fox on it, a wallscroll (not anime related, it's japanese ink work), a necklace with a kanji pendant... It stands for serenity (i couldn't resist!), 12 roses made of WOOD (they're amazing!), Sephiroth figurine, Vincent figurine (i got it for 20 bucks!), some manga, some small figurines, a shirt, a wooden sword (of course), and lots of stuff from artist alley. Prints, a couple of comics, some really cool wrist bracers, a journal, a sticker, and a magnet. I had a great conversation with the guy I bought the vincent and sephiroth prints from (yeah some artists were selling fanart anyway. Jacque and I were afraid of 'the man'). He was doing a 3 for $15 deal and I chose one of his original prints that apparently portrayed something from a webcomic he does. He started telling me the story behind it and we just dropped into a conversation about mythology. Suddenly he announced: "You're nice. I enjoyed talking to you. Have another print." So he gave me another one of his original prints that portrayed another scene from his webcomic. He was awesome and really nice. Another artist gave me a discount because I was also in artist alley. Man, it was fun chatting with people about art. ^^ <3 Sugar (one of the artists who we had a prolonged talk with) even invited us to the art jam, both nights! Unfortunately, we were just too tired to go.
Also, another thing I understand is that my pottery and figurines are fragile things and some people might've been unsure of how to travel with them. --;; I should've put up signs about the fact that I had stuff they could use to wrap the items and carry them and I should've put the 'bartering welcome' sign sooner. Some people also weren't quite sure what they'd do with the scarves. *shrug* Meh. Now I know what interests people. Cute things are popular. Jewelry, keychains, and cell phone charms are popular. I'll make some of those now. Since fanart is allowed at Anime STL then I'll make some stuff on the fanart end. I already have plans for pendant necklaces that are related to Bleach, Naruto, and some other animes. I'm also going to work on making a simple chess set that relates to an anime. Maybe I'll make a pokemon one 'cause I'm good at making animals. The only aspect of the humans that I am unsure about is the face. I have to practice.
I'm totally addicted to working with sculpy though! I love it! I love molding things! I just love working with clay. I also love dyeing the scarves, but those take a lot of time. Whatever I have left by Anime STL is coming with me. I plan to sell stuff over etsy.com, but show everything off in my DA account... Once I take pictures of my stuff and post it. *sigh*
I just had so much fun. Regardless of the problems Jacque and I had with some of the people who came with us, it was so much fun and I wanna go back already. Hanging out with the other artists was awesome. Plus sometimes being an artist in Artist Alley gets you some perks from the dealers as well as other artists. I get bored as a regular attendee and I tend to spend too much money. I'm hoping to go to some art jams next time. ^^ <3
Anyway. I've started school again. I hate 7:30am classes, but Prof. Karll seems nice and I look forward to what we get to do. I have yet to go to any of my other classes. I have Advanced Japanese at 2:30pm. I'm a bit nervous because I can't find my notebook from last year and I haven't been practicing. >>;; Luckily, Hara sensei is awesome. I have Social Psychology, Cognitive Psychology, and Chorus tomorrow. whee.
I have made the internet work for my computer now and hopefully everything has been straightened out with AT&T. However, they're on thin ice. If we have more problems with them we're going to have a house discussion and we may end up cancelling the account and finding another internet provider. >>;; Things have just been a bit too screwy with AT&T. However, the lady I talked to last time was very nice and I was sad to hear that she was genuinely surprised to hear me say: "have a great day, too." Just the surprised thank you I got from her made me sad. Sure there are people who work the phones that suck at it, but there are also people who are trying their hardest to make things work and they deserve a thank you and a good day. I just can't imagine what it's like to be stuck on the phone all day with a high probability of being cursed at and harassed by angry customers. Well, I can, but I've never experienced it. I'm very in tune with myself and I know I wouldn't last long, but these people keep coming back every single day to deal with it and it's quite admirable. I may curse and complain about AT&T, but that's the company itself. I have no problem with the people who are just doing their job every day. Well.... I do have a problem with those who don't put a lot of effort into it. --;; Like the ones who start mumbling their response instead of speaking clearly. Those people are frustrating! How can we get anything done if I can't understand what the hell they're saying. *sigh* People are strange.
Oh! Guess who's getting braces! *raises hand* ... --;; Yeah. I went to the orthodontist. I'm getting braces in December and I'm having surgery during my next summer break. The surgery will be what I need for my tooth as well as removing my wisdom teeth. I think we're going to do just about everything in one go. I'll be on a liquid diet for a bit, but there's lots of things you can put in a blender. =D Dr. Waxler gave me an estimation of 2 years with the braces and I dunno how long I'll have to use the retainers, but I'll have 'em. *shrug* It's not so bad. I want to get this straightened out, so I might as well do it now. Plus I have a better chance of everything going right at this age. 98% chance of perfection (or as close to it as possible in reality). Let's get it over with. Though that will mean I have to lay off things like taffy and popcorn.... It's actually painful for me to think about. --;; I love taffy and popcorn. There's probably some more things I'll have to give up for those two years, but it'll be totally worth it. For now I'll just savor my time left with such things.
.... I just realized I made a really bad pun in that last paragraph... "I want to get this straightened out"? I say that about getting braces? Oh god. *twitches* It's like I do it automatically now! --;;; Dad what have you done to me! I've had so much exposure to puns because of him and now I can make them without even realizing it. It's like a little part of my brain chuckles about it when I don't realize it and then I do and it's.... *sigh* Oh well. It's a fun thing to be able to do. I enjoy hearing people groan when I make puns. XD It keeps me warm at night.
The house is great. My room is a mess. I will admit to being homesick, but I think that's because I'm in a new environment and I have not made the room 'mine' yet. Once it's all organized and personalized I'll be happier. I did cry a bit last night. --;; I'm severely attached to my home in STL. My room, my dogs, my parents, my community, etc. I'm not good at adjusting. I'm flexible, but adjustment itself is hard. My mom had an interesting theory that my freshmen and sophomore years were merely adjustment years and last year was pretty much a freshmen year to me... Psychologically speaking. I'm finally involved with school completely. I have friends, activities, and I'm having fun! Mentally and emotionally, I'm finally into college.... I agree with her theory. I didn't really take it all that seriously my freshmen year (mostly because I was just too busy concentrating on my work and my homesickness to do anything except go to Anime Club) and in a way I wasn't really there. Sophomore year I was a complete and utter wreck over things. I was focused on my emotional problems, so I wasn't completely there either. However, last year regardless of my minor breakdowns I was there. I was aware of everything going on. I was deeply involved in things and I had a fairly decent balance of everything I need. No romance to speak of, but I had plenty of social intereaction with people. So this year may be my first Senior year credit wise and year wise, BUT psychologically it's my sophomore year. My mind is not in STL. It's here and it's freakin' awesome to be here. I miss home, but all I need is to make the space mind and I'll feel like it's... well.. Hopefully, I'll feel like it's my home away from home. ^^
I have high hopes. I am a bit skeptical, but I have hope. ^^ <3
This weekend I will be heading home, but I'll have a couple of friends with me. We're gonna go to the Japanese Festival at the Botanical Garden on saturday. I know Jacque's gonna come, but I really hope Danielle can. I still have to ask Hillary if she wants to come, too. ^^
Even if it's just Jacque it'll be fun. We really bonded before and during the con. She put up with my crazy stressed out bitch self. I was able to be completely honest with her and that's... That's something I've never been able to do. I've always been too scared of people, but I feel like I can really trust Jacque. I think it's because she's really upfront, but doesn't hold things against people. What will be will be. That attitude can be annoying at times, but it's one that I trust. My insecurities cannot convince me that she'll reject me because of the things I hide from others. They can convince me about everyone else at this point, but Jacque broke through something that no one else has ever been able to get through and... I'm quite comfortable with it. I didn't feel insanely vulnerable when I divulged some information that I refuse to tell other people about. I guess it's because I completely trust her not to poke me with a sharp stick when my barriers are down. >>;;;
I mean... I trust my other friends, too... just... well... I still guard myself. I can't help it. I ended up like that because of bad experiences and they are extremely hard to erase. Especially since one of the ones in my top five most nightmarish experiences with people I trusted almost lead me to suicide at the ripe age of what... hmm... Maybe 11? I was in 6th grade and I contemplated suicide. I didn't just contemplate it... I almost did it! That's not right. I mean elementary school kinda sucked, but during fourth and fifth grade I at least had Andrew to talk with. I was also so desperate to keep my group of friends that I put up with it. But that year... I was already in a bad state because of my adjustment problems (new school with new people) and my dog had passed away! The doctor we see about our ADHD diagnosed my brother and I as clinically depressed because of the death of our dog (we weren't given meds though). I desperately needed my friends. I needed their support and because of one stupid little thing they not only poked me with a sharp stick, they impaled me on it. That's probably what lead to me being obsessed with the chat rooms and my break from reality. Being special and wanted by those people. Being accepted. I lost touch with reality. I really did. Then things went to hell and I returned to a reality that was semi-hellish due to the fact that I was still being teased at school and the one person I really cared about left without so much as a warning or a goodbye.
That's probably when I snapped... It was just one day.... I terrorized my German class. The sub was terrified by my behavior, which might've been one of the reasons I didn't get in trouble. Then another day... I smacked a girl in the head with my journal after she took it from me and started teasing me about it. I think I started to emit a hostile aura that said: "if you mess with me I'm going to hurt you." That also might've been the year I pinned Ethan against the wall with my hand on his neck and threatened to choke him... >>;;; Even though things got much better in high school I was still withdrawn. I didn't trust anyone... At least not completely. I pushed all my problems away. Everything down. I focused on other people instead of myself even though I whined and complained a lot on my blogs... I didn't want to say those things when people were actually around. I felt safe just typing it out. Things just got worse though. I became too stubborn to admit my problems or admit when I was wrong. I became unstable. Being female didn't help much either. A surge of hormones once every month. Whee. That really made the balancing act worse. In the end things just came crashing down and instead of trying to talk to the person things were falling apart with... I just lashed out and then turned the rage on myself. Self-loathing, hatred, guilt, etc. I kept pushing everything around. I never tried to deal with it. I just smiled and continued on my way. I didn't want to make people deal with it. I didn't want to bring it up. Then everything just shattered sophomore year of college and I finally got help... There are still things I don't share with the group, but... some day I will. At least now the stuff that I've hidden away has been shared with at least one person and I know she won't tell anyone.
*sigh* There is so much wrong with me. I have so many demons. I think I'll start drawing my personifications. Just because it's interesting. Plus I kinda want to see if I can properly capture what they look like in my head. XD
Over all things are doing better. ^^
Anyway. I must eat my lunch now. I have a sammich! =D I will write more tomorrow or sommat.
Catch ya' on the flipside, mates!
~Marty / Shin~
Anime Iowa was freakin' awesome! Okay, so I didn't get to sell a lot. I sold one big bowl, a tea cup, and four of my figurines (coyote, otter, tiger, and fox). However, I sold everything for full price. I did an art trade with Jacque. She got my green snake and I got her Hatori seahorse. I also did some art trades with the other artists. They came over and handed out some extra prints of stuff and I gave one girl a cup and two other girls each got a scarf. The girl I gave the cup might've been one of the ones who also got a scarf, but I didn't care at that point. --;; I wanted SOMEONE to appreciate the scarves I spent six freakin' hours dyeing. That was just the dyeing, too! 24 hours later I spent about 3 hours fixing the dye and washing them. Then probably 2 hours just ironing the damn things. Silk is not easy to iron. It frustrated me that people would pick stuff up and be "Oh pretty!" or "it's so cute!" or "I like this" or sommat like that and then they just put it down and wander off! Some of them looked at the price and left (they weren't THAT high for something that was freakin' handmade), but there were some that just wandered off! That was really annoying. If they liked it why didn't they think of buying it? *sigh* People are so strange, but I can understand. A lot of people go to Anime conventions looking to buy Anime/manga/video game related merchandise. Since I wasn't selling fanart, there wouldn't be a lot of interest. I enjoyed getting the compliments though. ^^ <3 People really liked my photography and I'm pretty sure if I had been able to get some prints and mat them, then they might've bought those.
I bought a fan with the kanji for fox on it, a wallscroll (not anime related, it's japanese ink work), a necklace with a kanji pendant... It stands for serenity (i couldn't resist!), 12 roses made of WOOD (they're amazing!), Sephiroth figurine, Vincent figurine (i got it for 20 bucks!), some manga, some small figurines, a shirt, a wooden sword (of course), and lots of stuff from artist alley. Prints, a couple of comics, some really cool wrist bracers, a journal, a sticker, and a magnet. I had a great conversation with the guy I bought the vincent and sephiroth prints from (yeah some artists were selling fanart anyway. Jacque and I were afraid of 'the man'). He was doing a 3 for $15 deal and I chose one of his original prints that apparently portrayed something from a webcomic he does. He started telling me the story behind it and we just dropped into a conversation about mythology. Suddenly he announced: "You're nice. I enjoyed talking to you. Have another print." So he gave me another one of his original prints that portrayed another scene from his webcomic. He was awesome and really nice. Another artist gave me a discount because I was also in artist alley. Man, it was fun chatting with people about art. ^^ <3 Sugar (one of the artists who we had a prolonged talk with) even invited us to the art jam, both nights! Unfortunately, we were just too tired to go.
Also, another thing I understand is that my pottery and figurines are fragile things and some people might've been unsure of how to travel with them. --;; I should've put up signs about the fact that I had stuff they could use to wrap the items and carry them and I should've put the 'bartering welcome' sign sooner. Some people also weren't quite sure what they'd do with the scarves. *shrug* Meh. Now I know what interests people. Cute things are popular. Jewelry, keychains, and cell phone charms are popular. I'll make some of those now. Since fanart is allowed at Anime STL then I'll make some stuff on the fanart end. I already have plans for pendant necklaces that are related to Bleach, Naruto, and some other animes. I'm also going to work on making a simple chess set that relates to an anime. Maybe I'll make a pokemon one 'cause I'm good at making animals. The only aspect of the humans that I am unsure about is the face. I have to practice.
I'm totally addicted to working with sculpy though! I love it! I love molding things! I just love working with clay. I also love dyeing the scarves, but those take a lot of time. Whatever I have left by Anime STL is coming with me. I plan to sell stuff over etsy.com, but show everything off in my DA account... Once I take pictures of my stuff and post it. *sigh*
I just had so much fun. Regardless of the problems Jacque and I had with some of the people who came with us, it was so much fun and I wanna go back already. Hanging out with the other artists was awesome. Plus sometimes being an artist in Artist Alley gets you some perks from the dealers as well as other artists. I get bored as a regular attendee and I tend to spend too much money. I'm hoping to go to some art jams next time. ^^ <3
Anyway. I've started school again. I hate 7:30am classes, but Prof. Karll seems nice and I look forward to what we get to do. I have yet to go to any of my other classes. I have Advanced Japanese at 2:30pm. I'm a bit nervous because I can't find my notebook from last year and I haven't been practicing. >>;; Luckily, Hara sensei is awesome. I have Social Psychology, Cognitive Psychology, and Chorus tomorrow. whee.
I have made the internet work for my computer now and hopefully everything has been straightened out with AT&T. However, they're on thin ice. If we have more problems with them we're going to have a house discussion and we may end up cancelling the account and finding another internet provider. >>;; Things have just been a bit too screwy with AT&T. However, the lady I talked to last time was very nice and I was sad to hear that she was genuinely surprised to hear me say: "have a great day, too." Just the surprised thank you I got from her made me sad. Sure there are people who work the phones that suck at it, but there are also people who are trying their hardest to make things work and they deserve a thank you and a good day. I just can't imagine what it's like to be stuck on the phone all day with a high probability of being cursed at and harassed by angry customers. Well, I can, but I've never experienced it. I'm very in tune with myself and I know I wouldn't last long, but these people keep coming back every single day to deal with it and it's quite admirable. I may curse and complain about AT&T, but that's the company itself. I have no problem with the people who are just doing their job every day. Well.... I do have a problem with those who don't put a lot of effort into it. --;; Like the ones who start mumbling their response instead of speaking clearly. Those people are frustrating! How can we get anything done if I can't understand what the hell they're saying. *sigh* People are strange.
Oh! Guess who's getting braces! *raises hand* ... --;; Yeah. I went to the orthodontist. I'm getting braces in December and I'm having surgery during my next summer break. The surgery will be what I need for my tooth as well as removing my wisdom teeth. I think we're going to do just about everything in one go. I'll be on a liquid diet for a bit, but there's lots of things you can put in a blender. =D Dr. Waxler gave me an estimation of 2 years with the braces and I dunno how long I'll have to use the retainers, but I'll have 'em. *shrug* It's not so bad. I want to get this straightened out, so I might as well do it now. Plus I have a better chance of everything going right at this age. 98% chance of perfection (or as close to it as possible in reality). Let's get it over with. Though that will mean I have to lay off things like taffy and popcorn.... It's actually painful for me to think about. --;; I love taffy and popcorn. There's probably some more things I'll have to give up for those two years, but it'll be totally worth it. For now I'll just savor my time left with such things.
.... I just realized I made a really bad pun in that last paragraph... "I want to get this straightened out"? I say that about getting braces? Oh god. *twitches* It's like I do it automatically now! --;;; Dad what have you done to me! I've had so much exposure to puns because of him and now I can make them without even realizing it. It's like a little part of my brain chuckles about it when I don't realize it and then I do and it's.... *sigh* Oh well. It's a fun thing to be able to do. I enjoy hearing people groan when I make puns. XD It keeps me warm at night.
The house is great. My room is a mess. I will admit to being homesick, but I think that's because I'm in a new environment and I have not made the room 'mine' yet. Once it's all organized and personalized I'll be happier. I did cry a bit last night. --;; I'm severely attached to my home in STL. My room, my dogs, my parents, my community, etc. I'm not good at adjusting. I'm flexible, but adjustment itself is hard. My mom had an interesting theory that my freshmen and sophomore years were merely adjustment years and last year was pretty much a freshmen year to me... Psychologically speaking. I'm finally involved with school completely. I have friends, activities, and I'm having fun! Mentally and emotionally, I'm finally into college.... I agree with her theory. I didn't really take it all that seriously my freshmen year (mostly because I was just too busy concentrating on my work and my homesickness to do anything except go to Anime Club) and in a way I wasn't really there. Sophomore year I was a complete and utter wreck over things. I was focused on my emotional problems, so I wasn't completely there either. However, last year regardless of my minor breakdowns I was there. I was aware of everything going on. I was deeply involved in things and I had a fairly decent balance of everything I need. No romance to speak of, but I had plenty of social intereaction with people. So this year may be my first Senior year credit wise and year wise, BUT psychologically it's my sophomore year. My mind is not in STL. It's here and it's freakin' awesome to be here. I miss home, but all I need is to make the space mind and I'll feel like it's... well.. Hopefully, I'll feel like it's my home away from home. ^^
I have high hopes. I am a bit skeptical, but I have hope. ^^ <3
This weekend I will be heading home, but I'll have a couple of friends with me. We're gonna go to the Japanese Festival at the Botanical Garden on saturday. I know Jacque's gonna come, but I really hope Danielle can. I still have to ask Hillary if she wants to come, too. ^^
Even if it's just Jacque it'll be fun. We really bonded before and during the con. She put up with my crazy stressed out bitch self. I was able to be completely honest with her and that's... That's something I've never been able to do. I've always been too scared of people, but I feel like I can really trust Jacque. I think it's because she's really upfront, but doesn't hold things against people. What will be will be. That attitude can be annoying at times, but it's one that I trust. My insecurities cannot convince me that she'll reject me because of the things I hide from others. They can convince me about everyone else at this point, but Jacque broke through something that no one else has ever been able to get through and... I'm quite comfortable with it. I didn't feel insanely vulnerable when I divulged some information that I refuse to tell other people about. I guess it's because I completely trust her not to poke me with a sharp stick when my barriers are down. >>;;;
I mean... I trust my other friends, too... just... well... I still guard myself. I can't help it. I ended up like that because of bad experiences and they are extremely hard to erase. Especially since one of the ones in my top five most nightmarish experiences with people I trusted almost lead me to suicide at the ripe age of what... hmm... Maybe 11? I was in 6th grade and I contemplated suicide. I didn't just contemplate it... I almost did it! That's not right. I mean elementary school kinda sucked, but during fourth and fifth grade I at least had Andrew to talk with. I was also so desperate to keep my group of friends that I put up with it. But that year... I was already in a bad state because of my adjustment problems (new school with new people) and my dog had passed away! The doctor we see about our ADHD diagnosed my brother and I as clinically depressed because of the death of our dog (we weren't given meds though). I desperately needed my friends. I needed their support and because of one stupid little thing they not only poked me with a sharp stick, they impaled me on it. That's probably what lead to me being obsessed with the chat rooms and my break from reality. Being special and wanted by those people. Being accepted. I lost touch with reality. I really did. Then things went to hell and I returned to a reality that was semi-hellish due to the fact that I was still being teased at school and the one person I really cared about left without so much as a warning or a goodbye.
That's probably when I snapped... It was just one day.... I terrorized my German class. The sub was terrified by my behavior, which might've been one of the reasons I didn't get in trouble. Then another day... I smacked a girl in the head with my journal after she took it from me and started teasing me about it. I think I started to emit a hostile aura that said: "if you mess with me I'm going to hurt you." That also might've been the year I pinned Ethan against the wall with my hand on his neck and threatened to choke him... >>;;; Even though things got much better in high school I was still withdrawn. I didn't trust anyone... At least not completely. I pushed all my problems away. Everything down. I focused on other people instead of myself even though I whined and complained a lot on my blogs... I didn't want to say those things when people were actually around. I felt safe just typing it out. Things just got worse though. I became too stubborn to admit my problems or admit when I was wrong. I became unstable. Being female didn't help much either. A surge of hormones once every month. Whee. That really made the balancing act worse. In the end things just came crashing down and instead of trying to talk to the person things were falling apart with... I just lashed out and then turned the rage on myself. Self-loathing, hatred, guilt, etc. I kept pushing everything around. I never tried to deal with it. I just smiled and continued on my way. I didn't want to make people deal with it. I didn't want to bring it up. Then everything just shattered sophomore year of college and I finally got help... There are still things I don't share with the group, but... some day I will. At least now the stuff that I've hidden away has been shared with at least one person and I know she won't tell anyone.
*sigh* There is so much wrong with me. I have so many demons. I think I'll start drawing my personifications. Just because it's interesting. Plus I kinda want to see if I can properly capture what they look like in my head. XD
Over all things are doing better. ^^
Anyway. I must eat my lunch now. I have a sammich! =D I will write more tomorrow or sommat.
Catch ya' on the flipside, mates!
~Marty / Shin~