OMG! I'm 20! *faints* *wakes up after a minute* I'm a post teen!
hah. Yeah. My birthday. Whoo. Yeah... It was a very quiet birthday. Probably the quietest I've ever had... Probably the first time I've actually spent so much of my birthday alone... It wasn't that no one remembered or cared. There were definitely plenty of people who cared and remembered and I thank them from the bottom of my heart for their birthday greetings, but it's a tuesday. People are busy and I'm not exactly one to go out and seek birthday fun unless it's been planned. I feel selfish if I mention my birthday... I don't know why. >>;; yeah. I'm a freak.
Lacey and Fiona made me cookies (They're yummy!!), Carl brought me a cake, and my dad sent me a Capitol Steps CD and the Sixteen Scandles book with autographs from Bill Strauss (the lyricist for the Capitol Steps) and Michael Forrest (who does some of the songs). Really awesome. ^^<3 I got cards from my mom and my dogs. My mom relayed their message. Got calls from both my parents and grandparents. An ecard from my sister. Andrea and Alex wrote on my whiteboard. Keith, Sarah, Lacey, Rachael, and a few random people who saw the cookie container gave me verbal birthday greetings. And I had many many birthday greetings on my facebook wall. I also had a marvelous time at Taming of the Shrew. I loved it and will probably see it again.
... So... Why do I feel so miserable? I should be happy that I had more birthday greetings than last year... Hell I'd probably barely have any if it weren't for facebook. Still. It's not much fun to spend the majority of your birthday by yourself... I know it was mostly because of the timing. A tuesday birthday rarely yields a lot of fun. Unless it's during the summer. Which mine is definitely not. *sighs* I guess I'm kind of pining for home. This is only my second birthday I've celebrated away from home and already I miss the old traditions that I had with my parents.
Jim Gaffigan's right. There really is a lot of pressure to have fun on your birthday and people tend to be disappointed if they don't. Which kinda rationalizes why I feel this way. I did have fun... But... Most of my fun was... Well... Just me. I didn't even get so much as a wall note from my own brother, which I guess is understandable since he's been so busy. I didn't even really call him on his birthday 'cause I was busy. *sighs* I don't know. I don't care about presents or cards. I guess it's more about people. Acknowledgement. I guess I still kinda held on to the idea of feeling special on my birthday and having a good time. I've held on to it since elementary school. However, now... It's kinda like... just another day... Like there's barely anything special or significant about it. I know it is significant since 20 years ago I was brought into this world by my parents.
Still... *sighs* dammit. I don't even know what I was expecting. What the hell could I expect? It's Tuesday. No one has time to really celebrate. I mean. At least I had birthday greetings from people. Gah. I'm comparing myself to others again... --;; *swats self* I keep getting told not to do that. I just... I want to express myself, but I feel like I'm whining. I don't care about parties or gifts or wild crazy crap happening... I'm just... Lonely I guess. I don't quite know how to describe it. I guess a kind of added burn to all of this is that there were some people I thought would remember... But didn't.. Plus I'm sick. My sinus infection is getting better, but it's still causing fatigue. Plus my stomach acted up so I felt even worse. bleh. I need to quash my insanely optimistic side when my birthday comes about 'cause she gets my hopes up so high and then I get disappointed because my expectations became too high from all the hopes... So I find myself unable to fully appreciate what I DO have on my birthday when I really am thankful for everyone and everything.
It's damn confusing and it frustrates me to no end. I ended up crying on my birthday. That isn't supposed to happen... Then again... Things don't always go the way they're 'supposed' to for me. --;;
I cried on my birthday.... What the hell is wrong with me?!
I still have the weekend to look forward to though. My mom's coming up on Friday and I'm hoping to convince her to stay till Sunday so I can go to Anime Club on Friday and we can see Taming of the Shrew together on Saturday. I think she'd enjoy it. If not we'll just go to Shrew on Friday or sommat. Then the weekend after that is midterm/spring break! Man how time flies.
*sighs* I'm gonna go to bed. I gotta get up early tomorrow to do housing registration. w00t.
Catch ya' on the flipside, mates!
~Marty / Shin~
Lacey and Fiona made me cookies (They're yummy!!), Carl brought me a cake, and my dad sent me a Capitol Steps CD and the Sixteen Scandles book with autographs from Bill Strauss (the lyricist for the Capitol Steps) and Michael Forrest (who does some of the songs). Really awesome. ^^<3 I got cards from my mom and my dogs. My mom relayed their message. Got calls from both my parents and grandparents. An ecard from my sister. Andrea and Alex wrote on my whiteboard. Keith, Sarah, Lacey, Rachael, and a few random people who saw the cookie container gave me verbal birthday greetings. And I had many many birthday greetings on my facebook wall. I also had a marvelous time at Taming of the Shrew. I loved it and will probably see it again.
... So... Why do I feel so miserable? I should be happy that I had more birthday greetings than last year... Hell I'd probably barely have any if it weren't for facebook. Still. It's not much fun to spend the majority of your birthday by yourself... I know it was mostly because of the timing. A tuesday birthday rarely yields a lot of fun. Unless it's during the summer. Which mine is definitely not. *sighs* I guess I'm kind of pining for home. This is only my second birthday I've celebrated away from home and already I miss the old traditions that I had with my parents.
Jim Gaffigan's right. There really is a lot of pressure to have fun on your birthday and people tend to be disappointed if they don't. Which kinda rationalizes why I feel this way. I did have fun... But... Most of my fun was... Well... Just me. I didn't even get so much as a wall note from my own brother, which I guess is understandable since he's been so busy. I didn't even really call him on his birthday 'cause I was busy. *sighs* I don't know. I don't care about presents or cards. I guess it's more about people. Acknowledgement. I guess I still kinda held on to the idea of feeling special on my birthday and having a good time. I've held on to it since elementary school. However, now... It's kinda like... just another day... Like there's barely anything special or significant about it. I know it is significant since 20 years ago I was brought into this world by my parents.
Still... *sighs* dammit. I don't even know what I was expecting. What the hell could I expect? It's Tuesday. No one has time to really celebrate. I mean. At least I had birthday greetings from people. Gah. I'm comparing myself to others again... --;; *swats self* I keep getting told not to do that. I just... I want to express myself, but I feel like I'm whining. I don't care about parties or gifts or wild crazy crap happening... I'm just... Lonely I guess. I don't quite know how to describe it. I guess a kind of added burn to all of this is that there were some people I thought would remember... But didn't.. Plus I'm sick. My sinus infection is getting better, but it's still causing fatigue. Plus my stomach acted up so I felt even worse. bleh. I need to quash my insanely optimistic side when my birthday comes about 'cause she gets my hopes up so high and then I get disappointed because my expectations became too high from all the hopes... So I find myself unable to fully appreciate what I DO have on my birthday when I really am thankful for everyone and everything.
It's damn confusing and it frustrates me to no end. I ended up crying on my birthday. That isn't supposed to happen... Then again... Things don't always go the way they're 'supposed' to for me. --;;
I cried on my birthday.... What the hell is wrong with me?!
I still have the weekend to look forward to though. My mom's coming up on Friday and I'm hoping to convince her to stay till Sunday so I can go to Anime Club on Friday and we can see Taming of the Shrew together on Saturday. I think she'd enjoy it. If not we'll just go to Shrew on Friday or sommat. Then the weekend after that is midterm/spring break! Man how time flies.
*sighs* I'm gonna go to bed. I gotta get up early tomorrow to do housing registration. w00t.
Catch ya' on the flipside, mates!
~Marty / Shin~