Crazy Libs
I did this thing online where's it is MadLibs... online... anyway, I thought these were interesting.
Action Movie
Someday I want to ditch this bee keeper job and become a film director. I have a great script for an action movie.
It starts out with the badguy, Oscar "Rain" Aargh, hijacking a pope-mobile. The old dentist fights him off, but Aargh starts firing his gun and hollering his signature line, "Jesus, janitors!" He ties this one dude up and force feeds him a pint of gasoline, so the audience knows this Oscar character is mean and dank.
Enter our hero, Jonathan Black, who is a rookie musician. He is afraid, because of a mysterious mishap with a toothbrush. The old dentist, it turns out, was his co-worker, so he chases the badguy down in a series of fear-packed chase scenes that take place in oil tankers and golf carts. It climaxes with a cock fight in a cardboard box.
"You'll never get away with this!" Jonathan Black yells as he punches "Rain" Aargh's cock.
"Jesus, janitors!" Aargh hollers back.
Black beats Aargh, but it's not over yet! There's an explosive map that a butler is unwittingly carrying to the very heart of Los Angeles! Black races against time, snatches a shot glass away from the butler, pulls out the map inside, and defuses it with just 42 seconds to spare!
Of course, it turns out that Aargh isn't really dead. "Jesus, janitors!" he screams, leaping to his feet and flexing his mighty eye socket muscles. But then Black skewers him with a sheep, and it's all over.
Love Letter
Dear Sweetheart,
I lay awake all weekend thinking of you, your vaginal smile, and our tryst in the wasteland. Accidentally, I recall our meeting, how my heart flirted with wit when I first saw you. How boring you looked in that blue smock and those two flat shoes on your cocks!
I cherished every moment we were together and was slippery when our date came to a close. I can't say how whimsically I regret spilling maple syrup on your torso; you were ecstatic about it, however, for which I am grateful. You are so beautiful when you're ecstatic.
You're wet most other times. Your eyes are like deep pools of dish detergent, warmed in the moonlight. Your cheeks are as rosy as dishtowels. Your lips are like succulent corndogs. Your hair is red like a shark on a summer's day. Your thighs are two teeny circles of arrogance.
I can't wait to shave with you again. Write soon.
Jokingly,
Your Friend
Action Movie
Someday I want to ditch this bee keeper job and become a film director. I have a great script for an action movie.
It starts out with the badguy, Oscar "Rain" Aargh, hijacking a pope-mobile. The old dentist fights him off, but Aargh starts firing his gun and hollering his signature line, "Jesus, janitors!" He ties this one dude up and force feeds him a pint of gasoline, so the audience knows this Oscar character is mean and dank.
Enter our hero, Jonathan Black, who is a rookie musician. He is afraid, because of a mysterious mishap with a toothbrush. The old dentist, it turns out, was his co-worker, so he chases the badguy down in a series of fear-packed chase scenes that take place in oil tankers and golf carts. It climaxes with a cock fight in a cardboard box.
"You'll never get away with this!" Jonathan Black yells as he punches "Rain" Aargh's cock.
"Jesus, janitors!" Aargh hollers back.
Black beats Aargh, but it's not over yet! There's an explosive map that a butler is unwittingly carrying to the very heart of Los Angeles! Black races against time, snatches a shot glass away from the butler, pulls out the map inside, and defuses it with just 42 seconds to spare!
Of course, it turns out that Aargh isn't really dead. "Jesus, janitors!" he screams, leaping to his feet and flexing his mighty eye socket muscles. But then Black skewers him with a sheep, and it's all over.
Love Letter
Dear Sweetheart,
I lay awake all weekend thinking of you, your vaginal smile, and our tryst in the wasteland. Accidentally, I recall our meeting, how my heart flirted with wit when I first saw you. How boring you looked in that blue smock and those two flat shoes on your cocks!
I cherished every moment we were together and was slippery when our date came to a close. I can't say how whimsically I regret spilling maple syrup on your torso; you were ecstatic about it, however, for which I am grateful. You are so beautiful when you're ecstatic.
You're wet most other times. Your eyes are like deep pools of dish detergent, warmed in the moonlight. Your cheeks are as rosy as dishtowels. Your lips are like succulent corndogs. Your hair is red like a shark on a summer's day. Your thighs are two teeny circles of arrogance.
I can't wait to shave with you again. Write soon.
Jokingly,
Your Friend