What's up with "All Will Be In Order"
So, I have this genfic Harry Potter WIP about Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Molly Weasley... Heh. It's only six chapters, but the first one was posted in May 2007 (!!) and the last one isn't quite done yet. Actually, I've been sitting on the last chapter alone for, literally, a year and a half; the last-but-one went up in February 2010.
Every now and then I'd haul that last chapter out and try to work on it. Some of the scenes are in good shape. But I just couldn't make the scene that's supposed to be the climax of the entire story -- a confrontation between Remus and Sirius -- come to any sort of satisfying resolution.
Recently, though, a couple of people have prodded me about finishing this fic (thank you for being interested!). And so, I've been thinking about that last chapter. I've also been thinking about some honest and deeply appreciated reviews I got from a reader a few months ago suggesting that there was just something missing in this story.
And I realized that the two problems were related. The Molly plot has been working fine (for me, anyway) all along; I'd been setting her up from the start to have a crucial breakdown in the final chapter, and all the pieces are in place for that to come off as planned. But the Remus and Sirius plot simply had no consistent arc. In retrospect, I blame this on the fact that Chapter 1 started out as a stand-alone story (one of the first things I ever posted, at MuggleNet); I think the main problem is that because I was working from that earlier version, I resolved some of the tension between the two characters far too early in the story, and then when I tried to reintroduce tension in later chapters it led to a weird ricochet effect.
So I'm trying an experiment. I've got a reasonably complete draft of the final chapter finished now -- at very long last. But I'm going to go through the other chapters and do some strategic revising in the Remus and Sirius scenes, to restructure the re-establishment of their friendship in a way that will, I hope, make for a stronger story (and a better ending).
The plan now is to revise one of the already-posted chapters every two or three days, as time permits but fairly quickly. And then when all the revisions are finished, I'll give the final chapter a thorough edit and actually post it.
I revised Chapter 1 today. Most of the changes are in the final scene. As a teaser -- and an attempt at self-motivation! -- here's the modified ending to this chapter.
Sirius turned his sharp gaze on Remus again. "The thing is, Moony, I could use a hand cleaning out the house, and you're the tidiest bloke I've ever seen. Do you think-would you come along and help me get it straightened up?" He gave a deliberately casual shrug. "You could stay there too, if you wanted. There's plenty of bedrooms, all unused." He smiled grimly. "I can't promise it will be any more cheerful than this flat, but at least you'd have a lot more space."
A house abandoned for ten years, and inhabited by Dark wizards before that... Frankly, the prospect of cleaning it out sounded rather daunting. Remus knew better than most how many doxies, ghouls, spiders, and boggarts they were likely to encounter, let alone cursed and dangerous objects and furniture.
But he also knew, better than most, that Sirius Black didn't always say everything he was thinking.
This might actually be a plea for help, for someone to stand with Sirius when he went to confront the ghosts of his past.
Or, it might be Sirius's way of trying to pick up where they had left off, before missions and secrets and suspicions had begun to unravel the most important friendships of Remus's life. To start "looking after Moony," as he and James (and Peter, for a time) had done so many years ago.
Either way, it seemed that Sirius might be extending a metaphorical hand. Looking for an opportunity to make their friendship real again.
Remus looked around at his tiny, shabby, perfect flat, where he was content. Self-sufficient. Safe from any further heartbreak and disappointment.
Where he was alone.
Remus took a deep breath, looked Sirius in the eye, and grinned.
"Absolutely, Padfoot," he said, lightly. "If there are cobwebs that need clearing out, I'm the one for the job."
His flat would still be perfect-for full moons, anyway.
.
Every now and then I'd haul that last chapter out and try to work on it. Some of the scenes are in good shape. But I just couldn't make the scene that's supposed to be the climax of the entire story -- a confrontation between Remus and Sirius -- come to any sort of satisfying resolution.
Recently, though, a couple of people have prodded me about finishing this fic (thank you for being interested!). And so, I've been thinking about that last chapter. I've also been thinking about some honest and deeply appreciated reviews I got from a reader a few months ago suggesting that there was just something missing in this story.
And I realized that the two problems were related. The Molly plot has been working fine (for me, anyway) all along; I'd been setting her up from the start to have a crucial breakdown in the final chapter, and all the pieces are in place for that to come off as planned. But the Remus and Sirius plot simply had no consistent arc. In retrospect, I blame this on the fact that Chapter 1 started out as a stand-alone story (one of the first things I ever posted, at MuggleNet); I think the main problem is that because I was working from that earlier version, I resolved some of the tension between the two characters far too early in the story, and then when I tried to reintroduce tension in later chapters it led to a weird ricochet effect.
So I'm trying an experiment. I've got a reasonably complete draft of the final chapter finished now -- at very long last. But I'm going to go through the other chapters and do some strategic revising in the Remus and Sirius scenes, to restructure the re-establishment of their friendship in a way that will, I hope, make for a stronger story (and a better ending).
The plan now is to revise one of the already-posted chapters every two or three days, as time permits but fairly quickly. And then when all the revisions are finished, I'll give the final chapter a thorough edit and actually post it.
I revised Chapter 1 today. Most of the changes are in the final scene. As a teaser -- and an attempt at self-motivation! -- here's the modified ending to this chapter.
Sirius turned his sharp gaze on Remus again. "The thing is, Moony, I could use a hand cleaning out the house, and you're the tidiest bloke I've ever seen. Do you think-would you come along and help me get it straightened up?" He gave a deliberately casual shrug. "You could stay there too, if you wanted. There's plenty of bedrooms, all unused." He smiled grimly. "I can't promise it will be any more cheerful than this flat, but at least you'd have a lot more space."
A house abandoned for ten years, and inhabited by Dark wizards before that... Frankly, the prospect of cleaning it out sounded rather daunting. Remus knew better than most how many doxies, ghouls, spiders, and boggarts they were likely to encounter, let alone cursed and dangerous objects and furniture.
But he also knew, better than most, that Sirius Black didn't always say everything he was thinking.
This might actually be a plea for help, for someone to stand with Sirius when he went to confront the ghosts of his past.
Or, it might be Sirius's way of trying to pick up where they had left off, before missions and secrets and suspicions had begun to unravel the most important friendships of Remus's life. To start "looking after Moony," as he and James (and Peter, for a time) had done so many years ago.
Either way, it seemed that Sirius might be extending a metaphorical hand. Looking for an opportunity to make their friendship real again.
Remus looked around at his tiny, shabby, perfect flat, where he was content. Self-sufficient. Safe from any further heartbreak and disappointment.
Where he was alone.
Remus took a deep breath, looked Sirius in the eye, and grinned.
"Absolutely, Padfoot," he said, lightly. "If there are cobwebs that need clearing out, I'm the one for the job."
His flat would still be perfect-for full moons, anyway.
.