Cloud Nine Doesn't Hold Weight For Long
I think I'm dying.
Ok.
That may be a little melodramatic. But I'm definitely not well. I've choked down two crackers today.
. . . that's it. Boo illness.
And of course, being sick makes everything that's unhappy, sad, or angry feel twelve times worse that it would if I was fine. And the last few days have been hell. So . . . it's like hell times twelve with the added bonus of nausea. Yay me!
It's amazing. I always forget how manipulative women can be. And then I come face to face with it again, and it comes ROARING back full speed ahead. And then I remember that even though women tend to dislike me, I really don't care, because when this happens to me, I don't like women, either. They're manipulative, and mean, and shameless.
I hate them.
Fucking hell, I don't feel well.
I feel so . . . unimportant. Which is awful. Like, I don't really matter. My best friends are all busy. Working, or out at bars, or in a different city. NOT helpful right now. My heart feels so . . . I don't know, close to shattering right now. Which is in part because I'm sick, and part because of my life. I just feel very disposable right now, and I'm sick of it. Because you know what? I'm not. I'm a nice person. I have a lot to offer. Fuck fuck fuck.
None of this will matter nearly as much when my temperature goes down and I actually eat something. Everything seems like the end of the world to me when I'm sick.
Whatever.
Ok.
That may be a little melodramatic. But I'm definitely not well. I've choked down two crackers today.
. . . that's it. Boo illness.
And of course, being sick makes everything that's unhappy, sad, or angry feel twelve times worse that it would if I was fine. And the last few days have been hell. So . . . it's like hell times twelve with the added bonus of nausea. Yay me!
It's amazing. I always forget how manipulative women can be. And then I come face to face with it again, and it comes ROARING back full speed ahead. And then I remember that even though women tend to dislike me, I really don't care, because when this happens to me, I don't like women, either. They're manipulative, and mean, and shameless.
I hate them.
Fucking hell, I don't feel well.
I feel so . . . unimportant. Which is awful. Like, I don't really matter. My best friends are all busy. Working, or out at bars, or in a different city. NOT helpful right now. My heart feels so . . . I don't know, close to shattering right now. Which is in part because I'm sick, and part because of my life. I just feel very disposable right now, and I'm sick of it. Because you know what? I'm not. I'm a nice person. I have a lot to offer. Fuck fuck fuck.
None of this will matter nearly as much when my temperature goes down and I actually eat something. Everything seems like the end of the world to me when I'm sick.
Whatever.