no evan, it was me, Im sorry I was such a bitch. I wish I could take it back. who knows maybe you'd still be here, maybe you wouldve seen your friends as more of a reason to live. maybe if I hadnt been such a bitch nothing wouldve had to change, you never wouldve broken up with me, and you would never have thought all change was bad.
I feel like your punishing me for not saving you, why couldnt I save you?
I just need you here so bad. I need you to hug me and make me feel like everythings gonna be okay. I feel like your one of the only people in the world who understood or cared, I told you I couldnt live without you, how could you not believe me?
I regret sooo much brushing it off when you said that everyone was worried that you were suicidal. thats just always how you were... to me things werent any different, as hard as this is to say maybe I didnt know you as well as I thought.
for the first time...Im crying for you, for your absense not some stupid thing thats just hiding my real agenda, just so I can cry.
I wish I could be with you now evan, where ever you are, but I still have things to do here. I still have to be someone, I just wish I could skip this part of my life...I have fun and everything but when I sit down and think about everything...I cant take it, it all feels like such a huge weight. every secret, every heartache, every friend and enemy, all the losses, the future, the past, it all weighs down on me, and its multiplied by wishing you were still here every second of every day.
Everything changed so much when you left...as a result of your absense. Somtimes I wonder why this is happening to me. Its not just to me either, Im sure its everyone...
I could live in the moments of that movie night which seems so long ago, the epitimy of the way I wanted to remember my childhood. Evan, we couldve had that for the rest of our lives, why would you want to take that away from everyone? why would you leave me here. you never left me behind why did you start now?
I feel like your punishing me for not saving you, why couldnt I save you?
I just need you here so bad. I need you to hug me and make me feel like everythings gonna be okay. I feel like your one of the only people in the world who understood or cared, I told you I couldnt live without you, how could you not believe me?
I regret sooo much brushing it off when you said that everyone was worried that you were suicidal. thats just always how you were... to me things werent any different, as hard as this is to say maybe I didnt know you as well as I thought.
for the first time...Im crying for you, for your absense not some stupid thing thats just hiding my real agenda, just so I can cry.
I wish I could be with you now evan, where ever you are, but I still have things to do here. I still have to be someone, I just wish I could skip this part of my life...I have fun and everything but when I sit down and think about everything...I cant take it, it all feels like such a huge weight. every secret, every heartache, every friend and enemy, all the losses, the future, the past, it all weighs down on me, and its multiplied by wishing you were still here every second of every day.
Everything changed so much when you left...as a result of your absense. Somtimes I wonder why this is happening to me. Its not just to me either, Im sure its everyone...
I could live in the moments of that movie night which seems so long ago, the epitimy of the way I wanted to remember my childhood. Evan, we couldve had that for the rest of our lives, why would you want to take that away from everyone? why would you leave me here. you never left me behind why did you start now?
when can I wake up from this nightmere..when?
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