(no subject)
man, i hate people like my family sometimes, not only do my parents act like morons but my relatives as well. I hate it when people ask me stupid questions and expect their perfect answer and when i tell them my answer, they get mad at me and tell me that i'm a horrible person. so what if i am, i don't want to be like every other idiot that are afraid of their parents and so they act like perfect little angels just so their dad won't slap them across the face.
my pathetic excuse for a cousin goes up to me and says, "if i hit you, will you tell the police?" and i answer "yes." short, easy and what should be said, not "of course i won't, you're my favourtie cousin, i wouldn't tell a soul (it sounds exagerrated but it's like that>_>) and then he goes and yells at me, "what the hell? do you want me to get arrested or something like that?! who the hell do you think you are? stupid brat!"
wow. that was a dramatic change. from one moment, he was asking me this simple question that aqquire a simple answer and then he blows on me, in the middle of the street, luckily he doesn't speak english, so therefore no one knows what he's saying.
i said, "I don't care, what happens to you cause once you hit me, i won't ever respect you." i don't give second chances to adults who know better than to destroy my respect for them, there is just no need for adults who use violence and swear words to anger me.
then he says about all these nice things that he does for me, yeah right. For everything that he does for me, i have to do much more work for him, as a translater, helping him pay for his bills, teaching him english(which is a total waste of time, since he never gets it, no matter how many times i tell him) and he only 'tries' to drive me to places and pay for my dinner in which i can do so myself (it's just those fast food stores and spicy food marts)
and then he goes and lectures me on how he is important and without him i wouldn't be able to get anywhere since i can't drive yet. well, guess what? I never need those rides, i just wanted them and when i do need them, he ditches me and tells me get a ride myself.
What the hell?!! he left me at anime north and left me there, he doesn't even wwork and says that he's busy. he could care less if i was left a desert, all he says is "i'm busy, i don't want to drive you home today, so get your own ride."
I dont' care if he said that when i need a ride at school but that place was miles away, he of course had the time but doesn't want to. what a fag.
there was no point in asking my parents for a ride since they're gonna ask me to pay for it (that's a lot to pay, my parents can be described as cheap) and they were working that day.
I don't get why the most idiotic adults are always around me. i dont' normally hate people, i dont' have much against others and my hatred towards them dont last very long since i get bored of it. but when it comes to stupid adults, they are an exception. i dont' have good experiences with many relatives, maybe because i'm chinese(that is a really good reason>___>)
i respect some older people simply because i know that they aren't like what my family are.
I don't think i am a horrible person, but i do agree with the part that i have change throughout the years because now i can express my fustration much easily than i was before, i may appear like a nice girl but deep down, i can't stand people who don't respect my opinions or those who like to say that i should happier since there are more people who are less fortunate than me. because i'd like to say that "i really don't care, my life is about me and what's happening around me, I feel sorry for those who have worse life than i do, but there's nothing i can do to stop their suffering (money is hardly anything)"
others can say that i'm a selfish brat that thinks only about myself. but that's not ture, i do think about others and i do compare myself to others and agree that they are less fortunate. but if i have to choose who to save in a fire and there is only myself and my friend, because i want to live and my friend would choose to do the same, no one can help anyone except for themselves.
I won't say that i only think about myself, because i do hold some people precious, because those people understand me and won't judge like my family.
when i die, i will probably land in the deepest part of hell, i don't really care cause i don't really like heaven that much either. I hate life, even though I have some good friends, good music, but my hatred for the family that i live in, the person i've become is much stronger than all of the happiness that i experience. I'm not emo and i certainly don't cut myself (although i've tried and fail miserably, blades aren't string enough for my skin), i'm just different from what others think of me. of course when people read this, it's not the first time i've told this to anyone, Luna understands me.
right now, i dont' feel angry anymore but everytime i see someone that tells me that i should be a perfect little girl that is always forgiving and let others get the better of me, my other personality appears and sometimes i lose myself.
till next time
my pathetic excuse for a cousin goes up to me and says, "if i hit you, will you tell the police?" and i answer "yes." short, easy and what should be said, not "of course i won't, you're my favourtie cousin, i wouldn't tell a soul (it sounds exagerrated but it's like that>_>) and then he goes and yells at me, "what the hell? do you want me to get arrested or something like that?! who the hell do you think you are? stupid brat!"
wow. that was a dramatic change. from one moment, he was asking me this simple question that aqquire a simple answer and then he blows on me, in the middle of the street, luckily he doesn't speak english, so therefore no one knows what he's saying.
i said, "I don't care, what happens to you cause once you hit me, i won't ever respect you." i don't give second chances to adults who know better than to destroy my respect for them, there is just no need for adults who use violence and swear words to anger me.
then he says about all these nice things that he does for me, yeah right. For everything that he does for me, i have to do much more work for him, as a translater, helping him pay for his bills, teaching him english(which is a total waste of time, since he never gets it, no matter how many times i tell him) and he only 'tries' to drive me to places and pay for my dinner in which i can do so myself (it's just those fast food stores and spicy food marts)
and then he goes and lectures me on how he is important and without him i wouldn't be able to get anywhere since i can't drive yet. well, guess what? I never need those rides, i just wanted them and when i do need them, he ditches me and tells me get a ride myself.
What the hell?!! he left me at anime north and left me there, he doesn't even wwork and says that he's busy. he could care less if i was left a desert, all he says is "i'm busy, i don't want to drive you home today, so get your own ride."
I dont' care if he said that when i need a ride at school but that place was miles away, he of course had the time but doesn't want to. what a fag.
there was no point in asking my parents for a ride since they're gonna ask me to pay for it (that's a lot to pay, my parents can be described as cheap) and they were working that day.
I don't get why the most idiotic adults are always around me. i dont' normally hate people, i dont' have much against others and my hatred towards them dont last very long since i get bored of it. but when it comes to stupid adults, they are an exception. i dont' have good experiences with many relatives, maybe because i'm chinese(that is a really good reason>___>)
i respect some older people simply because i know that they aren't like what my family are.
I don't think i am a horrible person, but i do agree with the part that i have change throughout the years because now i can express my fustration much easily than i was before, i may appear like a nice girl but deep down, i can't stand people who don't respect my opinions or those who like to say that i should happier since there are more people who are less fortunate than me. because i'd like to say that "i really don't care, my life is about me and what's happening around me, I feel sorry for those who have worse life than i do, but there's nothing i can do to stop their suffering (money is hardly anything)"
others can say that i'm a selfish brat that thinks only about myself. but that's not ture, i do think about others and i do compare myself to others and agree that they are less fortunate. but if i have to choose who to save in a fire and there is only myself and my friend, because i want to live and my friend would choose to do the same, no one can help anyone except for themselves.
I won't say that i only think about myself, because i do hold some people precious, because those people understand me and won't judge like my family.
when i die, i will probably land in the deepest part of hell, i don't really care cause i don't really like heaven that much either. I hate life, even though I have some good friends, good music, but my hatred for the family that i live in, the person i've become is much stronger than all of the happiness that i experience. I'm not emo and i certainly don't cut myself (although i've tried and fail miserably, blades aren't string enough for my skin), i'm just different from what others think of me. of course when people read this, it's not the first time i've told this to anyone, Luna understands me.
right now, i dont' feel angry anymore but everytime i see someone that tells me that i should be a perfect little girl that is always forgiving and let others get the better of me, my other personality appears and sometimes i lose myself.
till next time