Rock on!
So I decided that while I was organizing and stock-piling all my quiz answers into one entry, I thought I better do that with the rest, so no one has to go searching for ages to find what I happen to have here. Some of it being a bigger job than other parts of it. But for now, lets focus on the easier parts.
I like music. It is the very heart and soul of everything, from loud to soft, beat, bass, tempo and so on. I re-wrote a few songs when I first opened my journal, and so I now present the shikishinobi jukebox!
THE SUE SONGS!
There You Go (being Sparklypoo)
Verse One
Don't come to Hogwarts acting all so sparkly,
We'd rather tasteless and gorey,
All you really do is bore me.
And we know that all you're doing is playing dress up games,
Trying to achive your power and sing 'Flame',
But we know you all are just the same.
When we say we're gonna spork, we'll spork.
If we don't spork, we'll gork.
Yes like that.
We've got new weapons waiting out back,
Now what? whatcha thionk about that?
And when we say you're through, you're through,
Coz honey, you're nothing new.
Whatcha wanna say?
You dressed our canon up the wrong way,
And for this you're gonna pay.
Chorus
There you go, being sparklypoo,
Just because you think you're new.
There you go, talking like you are a fact,
While wearing a barbie-like hat.
There you go, talking about you want him so,
that you love him so, you just, cause us woe.
There you go, acting like you'll blend in.
Look away coz there's the glow.
verse two.
Don't come to Hogwarts thinking you'll cause change,
Gonna f**k with Harry whats-his-name?
While the makeup on your face is the same.
You will use your powaz to show up the people around you,
must get Draco right away from you,
Unless you've turned him to a stu.
So you think you'll survive, you won't.
Think you're the thing, we don't.
Yes like that.
Remove those sparkly clothes and hat coz babe,
you're boring just like that.
And when we say your through, you're through.
Babe you're nothing new.
Whatcha wanna say?
You invaided our canon folk this way,
In Hogwarts you won't stay.
Repeat Chorus
Verse three
Don't we wish you had a frame of mind,
Your fashion makes a sightless man blind.
Go to the store and take it back.
We wish losing you was as simple as that.
We will eradicate the sparkly bitch,
and tell her the pit is her nitch.
Til another Sue goes astray,
And treats Hogwarts like her own ebay
Repeat Chorus x3
Tainted Love
Bitchiwitch
Sometimes they feel I've got to, Wangst away,
They'll have an, Emo Day
For the pain that is fic about Harry.
He don't wat to share, he'll slice my wrists for all he cares.
Hermione can't be right,
She's a gothic gal in black leather tights.
Draco wangsts for you, while we run from you.
This bitchiwitch you've written,
I'm in pain, please pass the bleeprin,
Goth cross canon doesn't work at all,
Bitchiwitch.
Bitchiwitch.
Now it's time for them to, wangst away,
and have their, emo day,
you got some blood upon the floor i see.
so he can feel alright,
Harry gets a self-insertus tonight.
For canon, we do pray,
but sorry, suethors can't think that way.
She self-inserted for you,
now you're stuck like glue.
This bitchiwitch you've written,
Is a wannabe goth who thinks she's trippen,
She's got no clue but you don't care at all,
Bitchiwitch.
Bitchiwitch.
Don't wangst for him please,
it just makes our eyeballs bleed.
We hate you and will spork you so,
now delete this Bitchiwitch and go.
Bitchiwitch
Bitchiwitch
Bitchiwitch
Bitchiwitch
Delete this goddamned Bitchiwitch
Delete this goddamned Bitchiwitch
Bitchiwitch
Bitchiwitch.
Main Singers
Riff Raff is played by Argus Filch
Magenta is played by Professor Sprout
Columbia is played by Hermione
The Chriminologist is played by Albus Dumbledore
Chorus is every other Canon Character in the Potterverse.
The Time Warp
THe Canon Warp
Filtch
It’s Astounding
Canon’s Fleeing.
The Raiping… took its toll.
So read it closely.
Sprout
It’s so annoying and somber.
Filtch
Try to, keep control.
I remember, canon characters,
Acting, so normally.
Now we're in some fic
Filtch and Sprout
And we're acting so thick
chorus
Make us canon again.
Make us canon again.
Dumbledore
The plot has now left.
Chorus
The timeline isn’t right.
Dumbledore
A personality twist.
Chorus
It kills your brain outright.
But it’s the QuanonRaip,
That really drives us insayayayayayane.
Make us canon again.
Make us canon again.
Sprout
Inside we’re screaming.
And no you’re not dreaming,
Suethors are scheming,
To raip us all.
In another Potterverse,
Being canon is a curse.
Help us sporkers,
Save us all.
Filtch
With a bit of a brain rip.
Sprout
I'm acting like a dip.
Filtch
Nothing, is going to keep you sane.
Sprout
Even our Sirius Black
Filtch
Is acting high on krack.
Chorus
Make us canon again.
Make us canon again
Hermione
Well I was helping a house elf
Acting like myself,
When some bitch of a clone
Sent me straight home.
She had no dress sense
She had far too thin thighs,
Her hair was to straight
She had the wrong colored eyes.
She can’t act like me,
But no-one noticed the change
Now I mean nothing,
Never will again.
Canon
Make us canon again.
Make us canon again.
Dumbledore
JKR is upset
chorus
There’s no end in sight.
Dumbledore
No canon exists
Chorus
They kill us all outright
But it’s the dumbass plot that really drives us insayayayayayane.
Make us canon again
Make us canon again
Goldfinger Tootsietramp
Goldfinger
Tootsietramp.
He's the man, the man with a midas touch.
Their the skanks, who have their legs apart.
A spider's touch
They are such tarts.
Such a cold finger
Such a tootsietramp.
Beckons you to enter his web of sin
Beckons you to make like the "Birds and Bees"
But don't go in.
Malfoy's a sleize.
Golden words he will pour in your ear.
In your twat, up your butt or your ear.
But his lies can't disguise what you fear
Whichever oriphis is clear.
For a golden girl, knows when he's kissed her,
For our canonfolk, know when they've met them,
it's the kiss of death
its a sex-based talk.
From Mr. Goldfinger
For Little miss Tootsietramp.
Little girl, beware of this heart of gold
Canonfolk, beware of this love you make.
This heart is cold.
The plot is fake.
golden words he will pour in your ear,
Destroying canon lives everywhere.
But his lies can't disguise what you fear
Do you seriously think that they care?
For a golden girl, knows when he's kissed her
For a tootsietramp, knows who they want and,
It's the kiss of death
his name is Mr. Radcliff
From Mr. Goldfinger
You skank of a tootsietramp.
Pretty girl, beware of this heart of gold,
Mr. Feltmen, beware of this sue so fake,
This heart is cold.
Your heart she'll break.
He loves only gold
Her brests are so fake.
Oonly gold.
Oo, so fake.
He loves gold
Their so fake.
He loves only gold
Her brests are so fake.
Oonly gold.
Oo, so fake.
He loves Go.....ld
Their so fa.......ke.
OTHER SONGS
Please note; beastiality is mentioned. however, I do not, in any way, approve of it. I have simply added it in so it fit the lyrics. Also note, that the part of the song that 3 girls sing from their balcony has been removed. thankyou.
Make way for Prince Ali
Make way for Prince Ali
Say hey! It's Prince Ali
Say hey! Its Prince Ali
Hey! Clear the way in the old Bazaar
Hey! Clear the way he is so bizarre
Hey you!
Hey You!
Let us through!
Let us through!
It's a bright new star!
He's a Queen by far!
Oh Come!
Oh Come!
Be the first on your block to meet his eye!
Be first to see his squirting eye!
Make way!
Make Way!
Here he comes!
Here he comes!
Ring bells! Bang the drums!
Pull your bells! Flash your bums!
Are you gonna love this guy!
You gotta get screwed by this guy!
Prince Ali! Fabulous he!
Price Ali! So gay is he!
Ali Ababwa
Ali Ababwa
Genuflect, show some respect
If you're in bed and want some head,
Down on one knee!
Down on one knee!
Now, try your best to stay calm
Now try your best to stay high
Brush up your sunday salaam
Brush up your kinky guytie
The come and meet his spectacular coterie
Then come and meet his sexual love foreplay
Prince Ali!
Prince Ali!
Mighty is he!
Kinky is he!
Ali Ababwa
Ali Ababwa
Strong as ten regular men, definitely!
Gang-banged ten regular men, definitely!
He faced the galloping hordes
He screwed the twinky hores.
A hundred bad guys with swords
Hundreds of guys and their swords.
Who sent those goons to their lords?
They all blew to cock of which lord?
Why, Prince Ali
Prince Ali
He's got seventy-five golden camels
He's got seventy-five golden dildos
Purple peacocks
Purple peakock
He's got fifty-three
Feathered G-Strings.
When it comes to exotic-type mammals
If it comes to exotic-type mammals.
Has he got a zoo?
He screwed in a zoo
I'm telling you, it's a world-class menagerie
I'm telling you, beastiality is for he.
Prince Ali! Handsome is he, Ali Ababwa
Prince Ali! Sexy is he, Ali Ababwa
That physique! How can I speak
That physique! No man can speak
Weak at the knee
Weak at the knee.
Well, get on out in that square
Get in the mud-wrestle square,
Adjust your veil and prepare
Adjust your balls and prepare.
To gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Ali!
To gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Ali's
He's got ninety-five white Persian monkeys
He's got nine point five inches of monkey.
(He's got the monkeys, let's see the monkeys)
(I want his monkey, must suck his monkey)
And to view them he charges no fee
And to blow it he charges no fee
(He's generous, so generous)
(He's generous, so generous)
He's got slaves, he's got servants and flunkies
Sex slaves, leather sevents and flunkies
(Proud to work for him)
(Proud to screw for him)
They bow to his whim love serving him
They strip at his whim love screwing him
They're just lousy with loyalty to Ali! Prince Ali!
They're just kinky with loyalty to Ali! Prince Ali!
Prince Ali!
Prince Ali!
Amorous he! Ali Ababwa
Glamorous he! Ali Ababwa
Heard your princess was a sight lovely to see
Heard your Drag Queen is a sight loving to see
And that, good people, is why he got dolled up and dropped by
And that, good people is why he got sexed up and dropped by
With sixty elephants, llamas galore
With sixty vibrators, colours galore
With his bears and lions
Whips and tie-ons
A brass band and more
Cock rings and more
With his forty fakirs, his cooks, his bakers
With forty rapers, his chubs and daddys
His birds that warble on key
And strippers who unzip on key
Make way for prince Ali!
Make way for Prince Ali!
SPORKED SONGS
We are on fire.
We ave, desires.
But one is that way...
In the opening lines, we find the only way to put things politely (not that many people do it.) After that, we will never hear of it again.
One Backstreet Boy is gay.
So this is a tell-all about one menber who shall remain anonymous until the end of the song. Oh goody. While you're at it, say as amny stereotypical things as you can until we get there.
Verse One
But we, don't want to be mean,
Since now he's a Queen...
Here and now, I will state that a 'Queen' is a term more usable on a man who is more effeminate than your average guy. But when it comes to homosexuals, it is more in the idea that they are going around using the usual words, hand gestures and high voice. But for the love of Isis, will anyone ever stop and realise that a lot of homosexuals don't do that? Probably not. I doubt that this ideal will ever die. There are a lot of homosexuals who are more manly tha a lot of the average men, and so therefore, calling them a Queen to their face is not a good idea.
But at the same time, being a Queen does put you in a power position, use it well.
Don't ask me,
which Backstreet Boy is gay.
Chorus
Tell me who:
Ain't sayin' that it's AJ.
Tell me who:
Ain't saying that its (name not spoken clearly.)
I don't ever wanna hear you say,
'Which backstreet Boy is Gay.
It just gets worse from here. While half is this is a shot at the BSB, I will keep to the subject at hand.
Verse two
Now I can see him,
\he's in women's clothes,
But you don't need an IUD, yeah.
This is such a common mistake. There is huge difference between a homosexual and a cross-dresser. Cross-dressers aren't always homosexuals. They may do it for money or maybe even sexual trills or both. SOME homosexuals do cross-dress, but that isn't the first thing to look for in a homosexual. But at this point in time, I do blame homosexuals for making the line blur, and only a dictionary can unscramble it for those who ask.
And WTF? is with the IUD anyway? Men can't get pregnant... at least not in this universe or fan-fiction. The writer of the song must have been watching Red Dwarf a few too many times to have thought that line up.
He likes Village People,
He's playing Croquet...
WTF? If I assumed everyone who danced to YMCA was a homosexual, I'd have no trouble getting laid every night it happened to be playing. But that is not the case. I don't want to even know who that got mixed into the ideals. And don't inform me either.
Croquet? CEOQUET? I have never played that in my life, or if I have, I don't recall. And I m sure the only reason someone would pick up a mallet from that game is to crack the person who thought that up over the head. Well, I'm tempted to at least.
His doggie's a peekin' me...
If I think that the way I think it is supposed to mean, it is coming back to mean that hmosexual men go after heterosexual men only. Whatever. Some guys do it to protect themselves, and that is far to long to explain, but the rest of the time: no. Homosexuals go after OTHER homosexuals. If you think a gay guy is attracted to you, you might be right. If he makes a move on it, THEN you have issues. But for the most part, homosexual men don't go after straight men, just daydream about it and not admit it later.
Chorus
He is on fire.
His back, perspires...
Well, if I was on fire, I am sure my back would perspire out of the heat and adrenaline rush, but my back sweats like the average man, and just in case you forgot, homosexuals are notorious for their goof hygene and body care. I guess the lines are starting to blur again or the person who wrote this was out of words that rhymed.
Won't say, won't say, won't say,
who's gay.
He's always sayin,
He's nothing but a butt ache...
This proves for sure, beyond any doubt, that the writer of this song is heterosexual, and has not tried any anal sex in his life. If he did, he would probably find it hurt for a few minutes and then turn to pleasure. But we digress.
He's nothing but a fruitcake...
WHo are you calling a fruitcake? So if someone is a homosexual, it means they are as clynically insane as a psychopath whith major laughing fits? Maybe you need to go back to the dictionary (again) and look these things up, because evidently you have no idea what you are going on about. I am as sane as the next person, and probably moreso than the writer.
I never wana hear you say,
which on of us is gay.
Chorus
Tell me who...
Ain't sayin' that it's Brian.
Tell me who..
Ain't sayin' Nick or Kevin.
Tell me who..
He's makin' up a souffle
Yes, most homosexuals are good hosts and good cooks for the most part. But this does not mean that we can cook things that are on the 'advanced' shelf. You usually need a major masters degree in Iorn Chef School of Culinary for something like a Souffle, and a bit of kitchen Kung Fu to go with it. Seriously, get a grip.
Which Backstreet Boy is gay?
... Fine then, we're all gay.
This is where it comes back to being a parody about them. So, in conclussion, if you are going to make a song about homosexuals as an insult, at least stick to the truth. If I find more, I'll let you know.
I like music. It is the very heart and soul of everything, from loud to soft, beat, bass, tempo and so on. I re-wrote a few songs when I first opened my journal, and so I now present the shikishinobi jukebox!
THE SUE SONGS!
There You Go (being Sparklypoo)
Verse One
Don't come to Hogwarts acting all so sparkly,
We'd rather tasteless and gorey,
All you really do is bore me.
And we know that all you're doing is playing dress up games,
Trying to achive your power and sing 'Flame',
But we know you all are just the same.
When we say we're gonna spork, we'll spork.
If we don't spork, we'll gork.
Yes like that.
We've got new weapons waiting out back,
Now what? whatcha thionk about that?
And when we say you're through, you're through,
Coz honey, you're nothing new.
Whatcha wanna say?
You dressed our canon up the wrong way,
And for this you're gonna pay.
Chorus
There you go, being sparklypoo,
Just because you think you're new.
There you go, talking like you are a fact,
While wearing a barbie-like hat.
There you go, talking about you want him so,
that you love him so, you just, cause us woe.
There you go, acting like you'll blend in.
Look away coz there's the glow.
verse two.
Don't come to Hogwarts thinking you'll cause change,
Gonna f**k with Harry whats-his-name?
While the makeup on your face is the same.
You will use your powaz to show up the people around you,
must get Draco right away from you,
Unless you've turned him to a stu.
So you think you'll survive, you won't.
Think you're the thing, we don't.
Yes like that.
Remove those sparkly clothes and hat coz babe,
you're boring just like that.
And when we say your through, you're through.
Babe you're nothing new.
Whatcha wanna say?
You invaided our canon folk this way,
In Hogwarts you won't stay.
Repeat Chorus
Verse three
Don't we wish you had a frame of mind,
Your fashion makes a sightless man blind.
Go to the store and take it back.
We wish losing you was as simple as that.
We will eradicate the sparkly bitch,
and tell her the pit is her nitch.
Til another Sue goes astray,
And treats Hogwarts like her own ebay
Repeat Chorus x3
Tainted Love
Bitchiwitch
Sometimes they feel I've got to, Wangst away,
They'll have an, Emo Day
For the pain that is fic about Harry.
He don't wat to share, he'll slice my wrists for all he cares.
Hermione can't be right,
She's a gothic gal in black leather tights.
Draco wangsts for you, while we run from you.
This bitchiwitch you've written,
I'm in pain, please pass the bleeprin,
Goth cross canon doesn't work at all,
Bitchiwitch.
Bitchiwitch.
Now it's time for them to, wangst away,
and have their, emo day,
you got some blood upon the floor i see.
so he can feel alright,
Harry gets a self-insertus tonight.
For canon, we do pray,
but sorry, suethors can't think that way.
She self-inserted for you,
now you're stuck like glue.
This bitchiwitch you've written,
Is a wannabe goth who thinks she's trippen,
She's got no clue but you don't care at all,
Bitchiwitch.
Bitchiwitch.
Don't wangst for him please,
it just makes our eyeballs bleed.
We hate you and will spork you so,
now delete this Bitchiwitch and go.
Bitchiwitch
Bitchiwitch
Bitchiwitch
Bitchiwitch
Delete this goddamned Bitchiwitch
Delete this goddamned Bitchiwitch
Bitchiwitch
Bitchiwitch.
Main Singers
Riff Raff is played by Argus Filch
Magenta is played by Professor Sprout
Columbia is played by Hermione
The Chriminologist is played by Albus Dumbledore
Chorus is every other Canon Character in the Potterverse.
The Time Warp
THe Canon Warp
Filtch
It’s Astounding
Canon’s Fleeing.
The Raiping… took its toll.
So read it closely.
Sprout
It’s so annoying and somber.
Filtch
Try to, keep control.
I remember, canon characters,
Acting, so normally.
Now we're in some fic
Filtch and Sprout
And we're acting so thick
chorus
Make us canon again.
Make us canon again.
Dumbledore
The plot has now left.
Chorus
The timeline isn’t right.
Dumbledore
A personality twist.
Chorus
It kills your brain outright.
But it’s the QuanonRaip,
That really drives us insayayayayayane.
Make us canon again.
Make us canon again.
Sprout
Inside we’re screaming.
And no you’re not dreaming,
Suethors are scheming,
To raip us all.
In another Potterverse,
Being canon is a curse.
Help us sporkers,
Save us all.
Filtch
With a bit of a brain rip.
Sprout
I'm acting like a dip.
Filtch
Nothing, is going to keep you sane.
Sprout
Even our Sirius Black
Filtch
Is acting high on krack.
Chorus
Make us canon again.
Make us canon again
Hermione
Well I was helping a house elf
Acting like myself,
When some bitch of a clone
Sent me straight home.
She had no dress sense
She had far too thin thighs,
Her hair was to straight
She had the wrong colored eyes.
She can’t act like me,
But no-one noticed the change
Now I mean nothing,
Never will again.
Canon
Make us canon again.
Make us canon again.
Dumbledore
JKR is upset
chorus
There’s no end in sight.
Dumbledore
No canon exists
Chorus
They kill us all outright
But it’s the dumbass plot that really drives us insayayayayayane.
Make us canon again
Make us canon again
Goldfinger Tootsietramp
Goldfinger
Tootsietramp.
He's the man, the man with a midas touch.
Their the skanks, who have their legs apart.
A spider's touch
They are such tarts.
Such a cold finger
Such a tootsietramp.
Beckons you to enter his web of sin
Beckons you to make like the "Birds and Bees"
But don't go in.
Malfoy's a sleize.
Golden words he will pour in your ear.
In your twat, up your butt or your ear.
But his lies can't disguise what you fear
Whichever oriphis is clear.
For a golden girl, knows when he's kissed her,
For our canonfolk, know when they've met them,
it's the kiss of death
its a sex-based talk.
From Mr. Goldfinger
For Little miss Tootsietramp.
Little girl, beware of this heart of gold
Canonfolk, beware of this love you make.
This heart is cold.
The plot is fake.
golden words he will pour in your ear,
Destroying canon lives everywhere.
But his lies can't disguise what you fear
Do you seriously think that they care?
For a golden girl, knows when he's kissed her
For a tootsietramp, knows who they want and,
It's the kiss of death
his name is Mr. Radcliff
From Mr. Goldfinger
You skank of a tootsietramp.
Pretty girl, beware of this heart of gold,
Mr. Feltmen, beware of this sue so fake,
This heart is cold.
Your heart she'll break.
He loves only gold
Her brests are so fake.
Oonly gold.
Oo, so fake.
He loves gold
Their so fake.
He loves only gold
Her brests are so fake.
Oonly gold.
Oo, so fake.
He loves Go.....ld
Their so fa.......ke.
OTHER SONGS
Please note; beastiality is mentioned. however, I do not, in any way, approve of it. I have simply added it in so it fit the lyrics. Also note, that the part of the song that 3 girls sing from their balcony has been removed. thankyou.
Make way for Prince Ali
Make way for Prince Ali
Say hey! It's Prince Ali
Say hey! Its Prince Ali
Hey! Clear the way in the old Bazaar
Hey! Clear the way he is so bizarre
Hey you!
Hey You!
Let us through!
Let us through!
It's a bright new star!
He's a Queen by far!
Oh Come!
Oh Come!
Be the first on your block to meet his eye!
Be first to see his squirting eye!
Make way!
Make Way!
Here he comes!
Here he comes!
Ring bells! Bang the drums!
Pull your bells! Flash your bums!
Are you gonna love this guy!
You gotta get screwed by this guy!
Prince Ali! Fabulous he!
Price Ali! So gay is he!
Ali Ababwa
Ali Ababwa
Genuflect, show some respect
If you're in bed and want some head,
Down on one knee!
Down on one knee!
Now, try your best to stay calm
Now try your best to stay high
Brush up your sunday salaam
Brush up your kinky guytie
The come and meet his spectacular coterie
Then come and meet his sexual love foreplay
Prince Ali!
Prince Ali!
Mighty is he!
Kinky is he!
Ali Ababwa
Ali Ababwa
Strong as ten regular men, definitely!
Gang-banged ten regular men, definitely!
He faced the galloping hordes
He screwed the twinky hores.
A hundred bad guys with swords
Hundreds of guys and their swords.
Who sent those goons to their lords?
They all blew to cock of which lord?
Why, Prince Ali
Prince Ali
He's got seventy-five golden camels
He's got seventy-five golden dildos
Purple peacocks
Purple peakock
He's got fifty-three
Feathered G-Strings.
When it comes to exotic-type mammals
If it comes to exotic-type mammals.
Has he got a zoo?
He screwed in a zoo
I'm telling you, it's a world-class menagerie
I'm telling you, beastiality is for he.
Prince Ali! Handsome is he, Ali Ababwa
Prince Ali! Sexy is he, Ali Ababwa
That physique! How can I speak
That physique! No man can speak
Weak at the knee
Weak at the knee.
Well, get on out in that square
Get in the mud-wrestle square,
Adjust your veil and prepare
Adjust your balls and prepare.
To gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Ali!
To gawk and grovel and stare at Prince Ali's
He's got ninety-five white Persian monkeys
He's got nine point five inches of monkey.
(He's got the monkeys, let's see the monkeys)
(I want his monkey, must suck his monkey)
And to view them he charges no fee
And to blow it he charges no fee
(He's generous, so generous)
(He's generous, so generous)
He's got slaves, he's got servants and flunkies
Sex slaves, leather sevents and flunkies
(Proud to work for him)
(Proud to screw for him)
They bow to his whim love serving him
They strip at his whim love screwing him
They're just lousy with loyalty to Ali! Prince Ali!
They're just kinky with loyalty to Ali! Prince Ali!
Prince Ali!
Prince Ali!
Amorous he! Ali Ababwa
Glamorous he! Ali Ababwa
Heard your princess was a sight lovely to see
Heard your Drag Queen is a sight loving to see
And that, good people, is why he got dolled up and dropped by
And that, good people is why he got sexed up and dropped by
With sixty elephants, llamas galore
With sixty vibrators, colours galore
With his bears and lions
Whips and tie-ons
A brass band and more
Cock rings and more
With his forty fakirs, his cooks, his bakers
With forty rapers, his chubs and daddys
His birds that warble on key
And strippers who unzip on key
Make way for prince Ali!
Make way for Prince Ali!
SPORKED SONGS
We are on fire.
We ave, desires.
But one is that way...
In the opening lines, we find the only way to put things politely (not that many people do it.) After that, we will never hear of it again.
One Backstreet Boy is gay.
So this is a tell-all about one menber who shall remain anonymous until the end of the song. Oh goody. While you're at it, say as amny stereotypical things as you can until we get there.
Verse One
But we, don't want to be mean,
Since now he's a Queen...
Here and now, I will state that a 'Queen' is a term more usable on a man who is more effeminate than your average guy. But when it comes to homosexuals, it is more in the idea that they are going around using the usual words, hand gestures and high voice. But for the love of Isis, will anyone ever stop and realise that a lot of homosexuals don't do that? Probably not. I doubt that this ideal will ever die. There are a lot of homosexuals who are more manly tha a lot of the average men, and so therefore, calling them a Queen to their face is not a good idea.
But at the same time, being a Queen does put you in a power position, use it well.
Don't ask me,
which Backstreet Boy is gay.
Chorus
Tell me who:
Ain't sayin' that it's AJ.
Tell me who:
Ain't saying that its (name not spoken clearly.)
I don't ever wanna hear you say,
'Which backstreet Boy is Gay.
It just gets worse from here. While half is this is a shot at the BSB, I will keep to the subject at hand.
Verse two
Now I can see him,
\he's in women's clothes,
But you don't need an IUD, yeah.
This is such a common mistake. There is huge difference between a homosexual and a cross-dresser. Cross-dressers aren't always homosexuals. They may do it for money or maybe even sexual trills or both. SOME homosexuals do cross-dress, but that isn't the first thing to look for in a homosexual. But at this point in time, I do blame homosexuals for making the line blur, and only a dictionary can unscramble it for those who ask.
And WTF? is with the IUD anyway? Men can't get pregnant... at least not in this universe or fan-fiction. The writer of the song must have been watching Red Dwarf a few too many times to have thought that line up.
He likes Village People,
He's playing Croquet...
WTF? If I assumed everyone who danced to YMCA was a homosexual, I'd have no trouble getting laid every night it happened to be playing. But that is not the case. I don't want to even know who that got mixed into the ideals. And don't inform me either.
Croquet? CEOQUET? I have never played that in my life, or if I have, I don't recall. And I m sure the only reason someone would pick up a mallet from that game is to crack the person who thought that up over the head. Well, I'm tempted to at least.
His doggie's a peekin' me...
If I think that the way I think it is supposed to mean, it is coming back to mean that hmosexual men go after heterosexual men only. Whatever. Some guys do it to protect themselves, and that is far to long to explain, but the rest of the time: no. Homosexuals go after OTHER homosexuals. If you think a gay guy is attracted to you, you might be right. If he makes a move on it, THEN you have issues. But for the most part, homosexual men don't go after straight men, just daydream about it and not admit it later.
Chorus
He is on fire.
His back, perspires...
Well, if I was on fire, I am sure my back would perspire out of the heat and adrenaline rush, but my back sweats like the average man, and just in case you forgot, homosexuals are notorious for their goof hygene and body care. I guess the lines are starting to blur again or the person who wrote this was out of words that rhymed.
Won't say, won't say, won't say,
who's gay.
He's always sayin,
He's nothing but a butt ache...
This proves for sure, beyond any doubt, that the writer of this song is heterosexual, and has not tried any anal sex in his life. If he did, he would probably find it hurt for a few minutes and then turn to pleasure. But we digress.
He's nothing but a fruitcake...
WHo are you calling a fruitcake? So if someone is a homosexual, it means they are as clynically insane as a psychopath whith major laughing fits? Maybe you need to go back to the dictionary (again) and look these things up, because evidently you have no idea what you are going on about. I am as sane as the next person, and probably moreso than the writer.
I never wana hear you say,
which on of us is gay.
Chorus
Tell me who...
Ain't sayin' that it's Brian.
Tell me who..
Ain't sayin' Nick or Kevin.
Tell me who..
He's makin' up a souffle
Yes, most homosexuals are good hosts and good cooks for the most part. But this does not mean that we can cook things that are on the 'advanced' shelf. You usually need a major masters degree in Iorn Chef School of Culinary for something like a Souffle, and a bit of kitchen Kung Fu to go with it. Seriously, get a grip.
Which Backstreet Boy is gay?
... Fine then, we're all gay.
This is where it comes back to being a parody about them. So, in conclussion, if you are going to make a song about homosexuals as an insult, at least stick to the truth. If I find more, I'll let you know.