The lifelight burns inside me, to sing to you this song~
[Current Mood: Somethingsomething ]
[Weapon of the day: Tensa Zangetsu ]
[Current game of fancy: TEH EVILS!@#!@# and Alternate Universe: The Water Margin 2~ ]
Hoi hoi, and welcome to the bi-annual semi-report of the thing I sometimes refer to as my life! As usual, I will only be saying things I wanna say, and hiding anything else that I don't, but no matter! Sit back, grab some popcorn (though I don't really fancy the stuff, and prefer nachos at the theatre)! Emergency exits are to your front and sides, and are lit at all times to guide you. In case you need to run away screaming. Don't worry, we understand the need to flee in the sight of oncoming walls of text. No insult will be taken if you panic and scream. It's only natural. Okay, enough kidding around (at least for an opening paragraph). Let's get down to business. Make sure the seat is back in it's upright and locked position, the tray tables are up, and that your safety belts are fastened.
Let's get the stuff that will probably bore people outta the way first. I'm a lv. 75 ninja on the game now. Full katana merits, evasion, crits (blah blah) that's working on str. merits now (I really wanted to do subtle blow, but there were a set of missions that relied on me TPing the mob faster, so I skipped it for now). I proudly picked up my "I OBVIOUSLY DON'T DO SKY OR DYNAMIS" pants (woo, seraweels!@# You can't say no to cool blue shorts) after a bunch of assault missions (the one we farmed was kinda semi luck based @_@). Starting to move LS members through the CoP storyline again, which is pretty fun (yah, mammets dead, onto Diabolos), and currently scrounging up funds to try and make my own hauby +1 (but first, smithing to 94...currently 93.someoddnumber). Finished CoP and RoZ, so the battle with Bahamut #1 is now on the list of things to do eventually. I'm pretty sure there's a whole bunch of other stuff, but eh~
Slowly going through old games during breaks from the other game. Finished Front Mission 4 from beginning to end again (still really like this one, and really can't wait to see FM5, as well as an english version of FM2, which I really liked playing, even though it was entirely in Japanese). Think I went onto Final Fantasy IV next, and found out you can beat the game in like 15 hours >_>. I had started Final Fantasy VI, but after heading over to sister-in-law's place for game 7 (ugh), I got to borrow *holds up all shiney* SUIKODEN 2! Well, I've actually had it on the laptop for a while, but like I always say, I can't really stand gaming on the comp too long. For whatever reason. Haven't started Suiko2 yet though. Can't wait~ *lets nostalgia smack him around* Wonder what the fifth one is like. Heard it's pretty good~
I guess on a last bit of gaming news. Played God of War for the first time. Bloody. Fun. Didn't play too much, but now that it's a PS2 classic (yah, red box, cheaper prices) it might be worth picking up. Changing up the action here and there is goot, and flailing is definitely fun (BLADES ON CHAINS! It's teh win). Very fun!
As some of you may know, I turned 26 (AHHHHHHH MORE THAN HALFWAY TO 30!@#!@# No offense to any 30+ that read this...) earlier this month, and I think that may be scaring Missa more than me XD. I don't think I'll mind the age thing until 30...maybe. Either way, birthday was fun. Got to spend a whole day without Aya (not that I don't love her muchly, but time away was relaxing). Got to spend the whole day with Missa. Watched movie (yay Hollywood butchering of Xmen storylinestuffs, but still pretty fancymovieness), did a bit of shopping, had dinner at the Metro Grill, and just a very smile-smile day~
o_O Part of the laptop just kinda seperated. I wonder when that happened...*puts it back together* I may need duct tape >_>
I guess I'll touch on the playoffs that just finished up. It's been a while since I was able to cheer a team on this hard. Nothing like a hometown team to get your blood going XD. Absolutely amazed the Oilers made it this far really. Watching their games, so many times, I was like @_@ "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!@#" Maybe they struck a deal with the devil or something (in which case, the deal kinda sucked, as they didn't walk away with the cup, but did take it to 7 games). Last game was a sad display though. To fight back, and show such dominance in the past few games, only to play so lackluster (minus that whole maybe...10-12 minutes in the third) in the game that really matters. I think the thing that really bothered me was the whole Dwayne Roloson bit. I guess this is just me, because the first time I saw him he was playing in Calgary (LAWL) and there were constant jokes about him between my hockey friends and I. Then a few years ago he made the all-star game and all that. And now backstopping a team to the Stanley Cup finals. Watching him play, he was alright (really strong on rebounds, doesn't let them happen often, it seemed). Jeff was telling me it's some kinda luck god he has sealed into the gold part of his mask. Who knows though~ Felt like the hockey deities thought it'd be a funny thing. I guess it was just almost two years without watching a game of hockey (strike plus a whole year of not knowing it was on OLN...or where OLN was!) Was nice to see it all again. Good try Edmonton~ I guess I may be slightly sad I wasn't in Edmonton for it all too :)
Oh, any of you hanging about for Aya pictures aren't going to find them. We seem to have lost the cord to the digital camera, so no uploads, and no pictures! SUFFER! :D (after typing that, my brain suddenly clicked...and I found where it was....but still no pics for j00!@#).
Randomly: I think I may need a haircut again. ^_^ It's beginning to feel kinda annoying on the back of my neck.
Randomly #2: I dunno why I'm getting these bursts of awakedness after only 3-4 hours of sleep. I can tell my body wants to keep sleeping, but suddenly my brain is just "WOOOO!@# LET'S GO!" *cleans apartment* *types overly long journal entries* *does sit ups, push ups, and stretches a lot*
Hmm. What else. I think lately the thought of going back to Canada has been poking my mind more than usual. And not just to visit. Just curious if it'd be easier to finish stuff up and all up there. I dunno. I can't say I like one place more than the other. Well, I guess I could, but that's purely from a nostalgia purpose kinda thing. I miss Edmonton, which is why I want to go back. I adore it here too, and don't want to leave. Mmm, emotions stuff. Tastes good with butter. And coffee. That's right, buttered coffee. Uh, yeah, anyways. Maybe it's the lack of working that's jabbing my head. It's not like super annoying (or even really close to annoying, but it pops up from time to time). Probably one of those embedded male instincts like when we don't like asking for help. I dunno. My parents keep jabbing me with this thing about saying how passports will be needed by the end of the year for stuff, and since I don't have one (and if I don't get things done by then) then maybe it's best I go back to get one (as well as renew my ID/driver's license). Jeff did offer us a place in the house he planned to buy (which is on hold though) and that seemed pretty cool. Ahhhh, whatever. It's just random possibilities I'm mulling over, but my preference is to stay here for now (and work from there.) So much to put together though, and wondering if it will come together. *overthinks*
All of this has really gotten me to wondering if I can get depressed anymore. It all seems to end up the same way. I evaluate all the options, and realistically try to think over which is likely to happen, versus what I'm optimistic about happening. Then I try to settle for some middle ground between, and charge forth. I just don't feel the whole being completely bummed out thing anymore. Soujirou powers? Probably not good. He snapped goot. I don't think I'm penting it up somewhere though, but I guess I could be wrong. I just consider a lot of things possible, and try to keep in mind that it's so. So if A happens, go to B...but if there are deviations to A, maybe C or D is the better course. Not a psychic. The only way to find out what's next is to walk the path and all. Regret just slows you down. Not bad to do so every once in a while, but dwelling and all suck! Maybe I'm just crazier than I think I am. I'm actually in a locked up rubber room, and this is some alternate reality I've made to keep myself from bouncing my head off the floor too much. I guess viewing the guy in the room is kinda meh, but hey, I'm pretty happy inside my head! And maybe that's all that matters.
I don't like telling myself that though. It's this weird loop where I'm arguing with myself more than anyone else. It still boils down to all your values and stuff I guess. And things that you've been taught while growing up (I hope this doesn't start that whole rant I always have about silly parents who blame TV and and what not when their kids go "wrong"). You just end up putting your chips into the thing you understand the most and going with it. For some people it's all they know. There is never a consideration of anything else. The emphasis of right and wrong, and how the feeling of being right really direct things too. No one likes being wrong. Even with complete expectation of failure and prepping for it, it's still slightly disheartening when it happens, and that feeling only multiplies the more you believe you're right. I may have said "Maybe that's all that matters" in the happiness is all that matters things, but inside my head I'm wondering if that's necessarily true. And then I'll do the split up into 50 people and evaluate the situation from different angles thing.
"No, it's not good! You'd be living a lie!"
"Living in a room knowing you're unfit for current society is better?"
"Maybe seeking help to finding the happiness is better."
"Nah, I think he's permanently broken."
"How do you know if you don't try?"
"Just look at him!"
"I think you're all wrong. They really should pamper him and maybe that will fix him."
"No, they should do the opposite and seal him off completely. Forget about him for he's detrimental to society."
"I wish I could see what was really happening."
"How would you know it was real anyways? The stuff you'd be seeing."
"It is real at this moment in time, for this instance. For me."
"Those are a lot of conditions you put down. So basically, you can be the crazy one too as the other fourty-nine of us can obviously see it's not."
"That secretary is late with my chicken sandwich."
"You're always thinking of eating. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE FAT!"
" D: I'm NOT fat! It's all water retention!"
"On topic guys?"
"Didn't you order fries with that?"
"GUYS?!@!"
*bounces around rubber room some more*
And so on. Okay, maybe not the stuff after the chicken sandwich part. Maybe....
Think it just whittles down to the whole happy, but not completely satisfied part. I just don't like believing in completely being satisfied with no other goals. Some people are happy with that, and others will play down things to make it work for them. I think I may expect a lot more out of me than a lot of other people did when I was a kid. That's a lot of pressure :) I'm horrid to deal with~
That got a little more rambly than expected...
*throws confetti on Terra-chan and Yankee for getting old in the best month* GO JUNE PEOPLE!@#
Been kinda itching to draw again. (Yes babe, I know I do owe you one Kamio in a catholic school uniform XD). Mostly to sketch out the characters for something I have in my mind. Then that might need writing and all that too. Think I need more inspiration on the clothes part of things though. I really don't know how I wanna dress some of these people...Weaponry I can do. Fashion design though....
Ah well, I think I'll leave it at that. Hope all you hippies are enjoying your summer~ <3 to all friendlies, and lurkers (I know you're there!@#). <333333 to Aya, and <3333333333333333333333 to my Missa. And if I have any enemies (not that I know of) then no love for you. You can pick up a cookie though.
Oh yes, one final note.
OWLS FUCKING SUCK!@#
That is all. Hope you enjoyed the flight. I'll be seeing you around December unless there's an emergency~ You may unbuckle your safety belts once the ride has come to a full and complete stop.
Slight edit: I meant the class, and not the bird. The bird is okay in my book.
Edit #2: URGH~!@# I was gonna say. Hope you got cool stuff Terra-chan, and hope you get a slab of bacon to cuddle Yankee!
[Weapon of the day: Tensa Zangetsu ]
[Current game of fancy: TEH EVILS!@#!@# and Alternate Universe: The Water Margin 2~ ]
Hoi hoi, and welcome to the bi-annual semi-report of the thing I sometimes refer to as my life! As usual, I will only be saying things I wanna say, and hiding anything else that I don't, but no matter! Sit back, grab some popcorn (though I don't really fancy the stuff, and prefer nachos at the theatre)! Emergency exits are to your front and sides, and are lit at all times to guide you. In case you need to run away screaming. Don't worry, we understand the need to flee in the sight of oncoming walls of text. No insult will be taken if you panic and scream. It's only natural. Okay, enough kidding around (at least for an opening paragraph). Let's get down to business. Make sure the seat is back in it's upright and locked position, the tray tables are up, and that your safety belts are fastened.
Let's get the stuff that will probably bore people outta the way first. I'm a lv. 75 ninja on the game now. Full katana merits, evasion, crits (blah blah) that's working on str. merits now (I really wanted to do subtle blow, but there were a set of missions that relied on me TPing the mob faster, so I skipped it for now). I proudly picked up my "I OBVIOUSLY DON'T DO SKY OR DYNAMIS" pants (woo, seraweels!@# You can't say no to cool blue shorts) after a bunch of assault missions (the one we farmed was kinda semi luck based @_@). Starting to move LS members through the CoP storyline again, which is pretty fun (yah, mammets dead, onto Diabolos), and currently scrounging up funds to try and make my own hauby +1 (but first, smithing to 94...currently 93.someoddnumber). Finished CoP and RoZ, so the battle with Bahamut #1 is now on the list of things to do eventually. I'm pretty sure there's a whole bunch of other stuff, but eh~
Slowly going through old games during breaks from the other game. Finished Front Mission 4 from beginning to end again (still really like this one, and really can't wait to see FM5, as well as an english version of FM2, which I really liked playing, even though it was entirely in Japanese). Think I went onto Final Fantasy IV next, and found out you can beat the game in like 15 hours >_>. I had started Final Fantasy VI, but after heading over to sister-in-law's place for game 7 (ugh), I got to borrow *holds up all shiney* SUIKODEN 2! Well, I've actually had it on the laptop for a while, but like I always say, I can't really stand gaming on the comp too long. For whatever reason. Haven't started Suiko2 yet though. Can't wait~ *lets nostalgia smack him around* Wonder what the fifth one is like. Heard it's pretty good~
I guess on a last bit of gaming news. Played God of War for the first time. Bloody. Fun. Didn't play too much, but now that it's a PS2 classic (yah, red box, cheaper prices) it might be worth picking up. Changing up the action here and there is goot, and flailing is definitely fun (BLADES ON CHAINS! It's teh win). Very fun!
As some of you may know, I turned 26 (AHHHHHHH MORE THAN HALFWAY TO 30!@#!@# No offense to any 30+ that read this...) earlier this month, and I think that may be scaring Missa more than me XD. I don't think I'll mind the age thing until 30...maybe. Either way, birthday was fun. Got to spend a whole day without Aya (not that I don't love her muchly, but time away was relaxing). Got to spend the whole day with Missa. Watched movie (yay Hollywood butchering of Xmen storylinestuffs, but still pretty fancymovieness), did a bit of shopping, had dinner at the Metro Grill, and just a very smile-smile day~
o_O Part of the laptop just kinda seperated. I wonder when that happened...*puts it back together* I may need duct tape >_>
I guess I'll touch on the playoffs that just finished up. It's been a while since I was able to cheer a team on this hard. Nothing like a hometown team to get your blood going XD. Absolutely amazed the Oilers made it this far really. Watching their games, so many times, I was like @_@ "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!@#" Maybe they struck a deal with the devil or something (in which case, the deal kinda sucked, as they didn't walk away with the cup, but did take it to 7 games). Last game was a sad display though. To fight back, and show such dominance in the past few games, only to play so lackluster (minus that whole maybe...10-12 minutes in the third) in the game that really matters. I think the thing that really bothered me was the whole Dwayne Roloson bit. I guess this is just me, because the first time I saw him he was playing in Calgary (LAWL) and there were constant jokes about him between my hockey friends and I. Then a few years ago he made the all-star game and all that. And now backstopping a team to the Stanley Cup finals. Watching him play, he was alright (really strong on rebounds, doesn't let them happen often, it seemed). Jeff was telling me it's some kinda luck god he has sealed into the gold part of his mask. Who knows though~ Felt like the hockey deities thought it'd be a funny thing. I guess it was just almost two years without watching a game of hockey (strike plus a whole year of not knowing it was on OLN...or where OLN was!) Was nice to see it all again. Good try Edmonton~ I guess I may be slightly sad I wasn't in Edmonton for it all too :)
Oh, any of you hanging about for Aya pictures aren't going to find them. We seem to have lost the cord to the digital camera, so no uploads, and no pictures! SUFFER! :D (after typing that, my brain suddenly clicked...and I found where it was....but still no pics for j00!@#).
Randomly: I think I may need a haircut again. ^_^ It's beginning to feel kinda annoying on the back of my neck.
Randomly #2: I dunno why I'm getting these bursts of awakedness after only 3-4 hours of sleep. I can tell my body wants to keep sleeping, but suddenly my brain is just "WOOOO!@# LET'S GO!" *cleans apartment* *types overly long journal entries* *does sit ups, push ups, and stretches a lot*
Hmm. What else. I think lately the thought of going back to Canada has been poking my mind more than usual. And not just to visit. Just curious if it'd be easier to finish stuff up and all up there. I dunno. I can't say I like one place more than the other. Well, I guess I could, but that's purely from a nostalgia purpose kinda thing. I miss Edmonton, which is why I want to go back. I adore it here too, and don't want to leave. Mmm, emotions stuff. Tastes good with butter. And coffee. That's right, buttered coffee. Uh, yeah, anyways. Maybe it's the lack of working that's jabbing my head. It's not like super annoying (or even really close to annoying, but it pops up from time to time). Probably one of those embedded male instincts like when we don't like asking for help. I dunno. My parents keep jabbing me with this thing about saying how passports will be needed by the end of the year for stuff, and since I don't have one (and if I don't get things done by then) then maybe it's best I go back to get one (as well as renew my ID/driver's license). Jeff did offer us a place in the house he planned to buy (which is on hold though) and that seemed pretty cool. Ahhhh, whatever. It's just random possibilities I'm mulling over, but my preference is to stay here for now (and work from there.) So much to put together though, and wondering if it will come together. *overthinks*
All of this has really gotten me to wondering if I can get depressed anymore. It all seems to end up the same way. I evaluate all the options, and realistically try to think over which is likely to happen, versus what I'm optimistic about happening. Then I try to settle for some middle ground between, and charge forth. I just don't feel the whole being completely bummed out thing anymore. Soujirou powers? Probably not good. He snapped goot. I don't think I'm penting it up somewhere though, but I guess I could be wrong. I just consider a lot of things possible, and try to keep in mind that it's so. So if A happens, go to B...but if there are deviations to A, maybe C or D is the better course. Not a psychic. The only way to find out what's next is to walk the path and all. Regret just slows you down. Not bad to do so every once in a while, but dwelling and all suck! Maybe I'm just crazier than I think I am. I'm actually in a locked up rubber room, and this is some alternate reality I've made to keep myself from bouncing my head off the floor too much. I guess viewing the guy in the room is kinda meh, but hey, I'm pretty happy inside my head! And maybe that's all that matters.
I don't like telling myself that though. It's this weird loop where I'm arguing with myself more than anyone else. It still boils down to all your values and stuff I guess. And things that you've been taught while growing up (I hope this doesn't start that whole rant I always have about silly parents who blame TV and and what not when their kids go "wrong"). You just end up putting your chips into the thing you understand the most and going with it. For some people it's all they know. There is never a consideration of anything else. The emphasis of right and wrong, and how the feeling of being right really direct things too. No one likes being wrong. Even with complete expectation of failure and prepping for it, it's still slightly disheartening when it happens, and that feeling only multiplies the more you believe you're right. I may have said "Maybe that's all that matters" in the happiness is all that matters things, but inside my head I'm wondering if that's necessarily true. And then I'll do the split up into 50 people and evaluate the situation from different angles thing.
"No, it's not good! You'd be living a lie!"
"Living in a room knowing you're unfit for current society is better?"
"Maybe seeking help to finding the happiness is better."
"Nah, I think he's permanently broken."
"How do you know if you don't try?"
"Just look at him!"
"I think you're all wrong. They really should pamper him and maybe that will fix him."
"No, they should do the opposite and seal him off completely. Forget about him for he's detrimental to society."
"I wish I could see what was really happening."
"How would you know it was real anyways? The stuff you'd be seeing."
"It is real at this moment in time, for this instance. For me."
"Those are a lot of conditions you put down. So basically, you can be the crazy one too as the other fourty-nine of us can obviously see it's not."
"That secretary is late with my chicken sandwich."
"You're always thinking of eating. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE FAT!"
" D: I'm NOT fat! It's all water retention!"
"On topic guys?"
"Didn't you order fries with that?"
"GUYS?!@!"
*bounces around rubber room some more*
And so on. Okay, maybe not the stuff after the chicken sandwich part. Maybe....
Think it just whittles down to the whole happy, but not completely satisfied part. I just don't like believing in completely being satisfied with no other goals. Some people are happy with that, and others will play down things to make it work for them. I think I may expect a lot more out of me than a lot of other people did when I was a kid. That's a lot of pressure :) I'm horrid to deal with~
That got a little more rambly than expected...
*throws confetti on Terra-chan and Yankee for getting old in the best month* GO JUNE PEOPLE!@#
Been kinda itching to draw again. (Yes babe, I know I do owe you one Kamio in a catholic school uniform XD). Mostly to sketch out the characters for something I have in my mind. Then that might need writing and all that too. Think I need more inspiration on the clothes part of things though. I really don't know how I wanna dress some of these people...Weaponry I can do. Fashion design though....
Ah well, I think I'll leave it at that. Hope all you hippies are enjoying your summer~ <3 to all friendlies, and lurkers (I know you're there!@#). <333333 to Aya, and <3333333333333333333333 to my Missa. And if I have any enemies (not that I know of) then no love for you. You can pick up a cookie though.
Oh yes, one final note.
OWLS FUCKING SUCK!@#
That is all. Hope you enjoyed the flight. I'll be seeing you around December unless there's an emergency~ You may unbuckle your safety belts once the ride has come to a full and complete stop.
Slight edit: I meant the class, and not the bird. The bird is okay in my book.
Edit #2: URGH~!@# I was gonna say. Hope you got cool stuff Terra-chan, and hope you get a slab of bacon to cuddle Yankee!