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FIC: The Curse of Lethe, chpt 17
Title: The Curse of Lethe
Author: shiiki
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Thalia Grace/Reyna Ramírez-Arellano + a full cast of supporting characters
Fandom: Percy Jackson
Summary: Percy and Annabeth intended to retire and spend a quiet four years at college in New Rome. However, old enemies have other ideas, and one very determined attack leaves Percy poisoned and fighting for his life and Annabeth facing the difficult decision of giving him the only cure: water from the Lethe...and dealing with the heartbreaking side-effects. There is hope, though, but will Percy, Annabeth, and their friends have the courage to brave Tartarus again to retrieve Percy's memories from the edge of Chaos?
In this chapter
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Thalia Grace, Reyna Ramirez-Arellano, Artemis, and the rest of the gang in the background
Word Count: 3,838
Chapter Summary: Thalia has a difficult decision to make.
Notes: When I read about Emmie and Jo in The Dark Prophecy, I felt like it was a little nod to my one canon-unverified ship. It seemed like their existence was proof of a future for Thalia and Reyna. A lot of this chapter was heavily influenced by their story. And on a different, unrelated note, yes, Cleveland is totally a reference to the SoM movie.
Back to fic content page
XVII
THALIA
Thalia hated flying.
Fortunately, the weird amphibious contraption Leo Valdez had cooked up wasn't flying so much as it was skimming the surface of the Pacific Ocean. It didn't feel all that different from sailing a ship, though Leo insisted they were airborne. He had tried to explain how it worked, but only Annabeth seemed able to make any sense of his spiel about Festus, a New Rome limo, and hydrofoils. Or care about it, for that matter. Everyone else was more interested in trading stories about their respective journeys.
Piper related the rescue team's story: how she and Jason had rushed to Camp Jupiter, just as Frank, Hazel, and Reyna finally convinced the senate to support the quest. ('It was really Reyna's doing,' Frank admitted. 'You should have seen her-lost her temper spectacularly and chewed them all out. They gave us everything we requested for after that.') How they'd driven the senate limousine to Indiana to find Leo, who'd hacked location services on Thanatos's iPad to track him down. How Tyson and Grover had found them in Cleveland and insisted on helping. ('Tyson sat on Death!' Leo marvelled. 'It was totally awesome!') Between Piper's Charmspeak and Frank calling in an old favour ('We did free him from captivity once,' Frank reminded Percy), Thanatos hadn't needed all that much coercion to help them out. After that, it had been a matter of deciding where to set up their rescue base. Leo and Tyson had gone straight to work fixing up the 'Festusmobile' so that they could race to Hawaii.
'And this little beauty was born,' Leo said proudly.
Thalia looked appreciatively around the lower deck room they'd gathered in. The décor definitely had a strong Roman theme. The leather seats were a deep, Camp Jupiter purple, and the mahogany bar running along the wall had SPQR carved into it.
'Talk about travelling in style,' Thalia murmured.
Reyna shrugged, glancing at Frank and Hazel. 'Perks of the praetorship. You get access to the best limos. Though I think this is the first time anyone's ever converted it into an amphibious vehicle.'
'And here leading the Hunt only gets me a solo tent and maybe a ride in the moon chariot once a decade.'
Reyna looked away and Thalia bit her lip, cursing herself inwardly for bringing up the subject of the Hunters.
She remembered the shadow that had flickered across Reyna's face when they'd arrived at the Festusmobile and Thalia had to tell Leo to chart a course for Seattle so that she could pick up her Hunters from Amazon headquarters. It was like shutters going down, erasing any trace of the emotions simmering beneath Reyna's usual stoic façade.
Thalia felt like an idiot.
Her brain wouldn't stop replaying the moment she'd first opened her eyes in the Kazumura Cave to find Reyna's face filling her vision, more expressive than Thalia had ever seen it. In all the time Thalia had known her, Reyna had always been controlled and guarded, approaching the world with a cool logic that belied her young age.
Seeing a crack in that careful composure had sparked something deep in Thalia's heart-something she couldn't quite define. Reyna hadn't cried in exuberant relief at their return, the way Piper or Tyson had, but the emotions written plainly across her usually reserved face seemed to shout even louder to Thalia: You're here. That's all that matters.
It dragged her thoughts back to certain fantasies the spirits of Night had gleefully splashed over their cave walls. Fantasies in which Thalia had very deliberately made Reyna come undone. In a very different way, of course.
It was hard to hide from it now, after she'd seen her own feelings plainly in Tartarus. They were no longer secrets, those brief forbidden fantasies she'd always pushed away as quickly as they'd crept into her mind. Her own actions over the past few years stared accusingly at her. Visits to Camp Jupiter-always justified as scouting missions or drop-ins on Annabeth and Percy-that were more frequent than should have been warranted. Excuses to team up with the Amazons, lately always timed so conveniently to when Queen Hylla had her sister visiting. Coffee dates with Reyna to 'gather intelligence', even after Reyna ceased to be praetor-and even though little of what they shared over a good strong espresso ever made it back to Artemis.
The whole time they'd made their way out of the lava tube, Reyna hadn't let go of Thalia. Maybe it was completely innocent-after coming out of Tartarus, all five of them had needed support to stumble along-but Thalia couldn't shake the idea that the gentle pressure of Reyna's arm around her, the soft press of fingers into her elbow, and the scalding brush of skin against skin meant a little more than supportive friendship.
Thalia cursed herself again for letting things get this far. All this time she'd been playing with fire-fanning a spark that once kindled, she had no choice but to stamp out.
After all, she wasn't free to love.
Across the table, the others were now recounting the journey through Tartarus. Will was just explaining their fight against the arai. Thalia grimaced as she remembered the feel of every arrow she'd ever shot at a monster piercing through her body.
'Annabeth was hurt?' Tyson said as Will described their injuries. The Cyclops's eye filled with tears.
Annabeth patted his hand. 'I'm okay, Tyson. Will healed me-healed all of us.'
'How?' asked Hazel, her eyes wide. 'It sounds like it was almost impossible.'
Will turned his palms face-up, staring at them as though he still couldn't believe what they had managed in Tartarus. 'I don't know,' he admitted. 'I mean, I've done small things before, but this was kinda insane.'
Nico reached over the table and took Will's hand. 'Tartarus brought out your true strength,' he said. 'You're a healer, Will. And you were right all along-facing ourselves down there made us stronger.'
The room fell silent as they all took in the enormous weight of Nico's words.
'Well,' Percy said at last, 'I can tell you how he managed it.'
Everyone turned to look at him.
'You can?' Will said in surprise.
Percy nodded, a sly grin on his face. 'It was just a little…wait for it…' He paused for effect.
Annabeth elbowed him in the ribs. 'Just tell us,' she complained.
'Will power!'
Leo let out a bark of laughter and high-fived Percy, while everyone else groaned at the bad pun. Piper pelted both boys with a handful of peanuts.
Thalia rolled her eyes. Her gaze landed back on Reyna, taking in the small smile on her face. For no reason at all, it made her breath catch in her throat. Thalia's face flushed with embarrassment. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice, though if this kept up, she thought she might spontaneously combust soon.
'Excuse me,' she muttered, getting up and squeezing past Annabeth and Nico to leave the table. 'Just gonna go up on deck for a bit.'
The moon was just beginning its slow climb over the ocean when Thalia emerged onto the breezy upper deck. It was shaped like the back of a dragon-it might even be part of Leo's bronze dragon itself, with those wings on either side powering them forward. Thalia leaned over the side. Her new reflection stared back at her, glowing in the moonlight.
She hadn't really had the chance to take in the changes adding six years of age had wrought to her physical appearance. There was some softening of her features-her face seemed less angular, her body's curves more developed. When she squinted, she saw the slightest hint of a wrinkle forming over her forehead, like a line that had been traced by repeating a facial expression over time. Her eyes retained their shape, but they seemed to be set deeper in her face, thrown into sharper focus.
Subtle changes, but after years of seeing the same unchanging features in the mirror, this new face was an unfamiliar stranger. Not an unwelcome one, though. This girl-this woman-looked settled, comfortable, like someone who had grown into her own skin. She looked like the kind of girl who could grow old alongside someone like Reyna, laughing over their deepening wrinkles and white hairs as the years passed.
Her mind flashed to a long conversation she'd once had about life and love with a greying couple in the Midwest, caretakers of Artemis's Waystation. A pair of former Hunters who had renounced immortality for love.
When Thalia had renounced love for immortality (well, the actual contract involved a renunciation of men, but love was kind of embedded in the fine print), the thought that she'd ever want to reverse it hadn't crossed her mind. She'd embraced the Hunters after Luke's betrayal, and she could still remember the sense of peace that had washed over her once she'd committed herself to the Hunt, knowing that no man would ever hurt her again. Leading the Hunters seemed like her destiny, one that she'd resisted initially, but eventually come to accept.
Was it possible that you could have more than one destiny in your lifetime? That destiny might not be a final destination, but a journey?
Hemithea and Josephine might have chosen to leave the Hunters to find their answer to that question, but was it a question Thalia had the right to ask?
Thalia wasn't just any Hunter; she was their leader. Leaving had greater consequences for her. Never mind that she would essentially be breaking a contract with Artemis (and while her Lady was pretty reasonable as far as deities went, she was still a goddess, and you offended the Olympians at your own peril). Zoë Nightshade had led the Hunters for nearly three thousand years; how could Thalia abandon them after a paltry six?
Thalia let out a growl of frustration. Why did all her choices have to involve leaving people behind?
Soft footsteps announced Reyna's arrival seconds before her reflection appeared in the water next to Thalia's.
'Nico was just telling us about Geras,' Reyna said, waving a hand at their reflections. 'Sounds like he was a real creep.'
'Yeah, well. Men.'
Reyna pursed her lips. 'I think it's just people in general, when they want to have power over you.'
'Isn't it your sister who believes in having power over men?'
'Well, there's a reason she's the Amazon, not me.' Reyna crossed her arms. 'I think Hylla sees it as payback, in a way. Turning the tables so that women are on top. But what I really wanted-what I really want-is to be on equal footing with anyone I work with, male or female. When I was praetor, I wanted to lead alongside someone who valued me as an equal, and whom I valued as well.' Her arms fell back to her sides. 'Frank's a decent guy. So's Percy. And Jason-well, he was the first guy to show me equal partnership could be possible.' Her lips twisted in a wry smile, as though recalling her previous crush, which Thalia had heard about, but never really discussed.
Thalia felt a sudden, irrational urge to cuff her brother around the head.
On the heels of it was an old memory of being held at knife-point in an Amazon stronghold in San Juan: a kidnapping attempt flipped upside down when the girl she'd knocked out and abducted (all for a good cause, of course) had turned the tables on her. Reyna had pressed Thalia's own knife to her throat and demanded to speak to Artemis's lieutenant, and Thalia's first thought had been, I've met my match!
She wondered now, if the Hunters had found Reyna early enough, would Reyna have ended up like her?
Would it have made a difference to their friendship-or whatever this was-now?
'Are you going to be in trouble for this?'
It took her a moment to realise that Reyna was asking about her new appearance.
'I dunno. I didn't exactly ask permission to go, so I'll probably have to answer to that first. Though Artemis likes Percy well enough, so she might let me off the hook for helping him. But this-' she gestured to her face, 'I don't know. None of us are older than sixteen. Maybe she'll just age me back down. Or turn me into a deer. Or kick me out. I could go join Hylla.'
There was a few seconds' pause before Reyna asked, 'Would you?' Her voice had a faint edge to it, as though she was trying to hide how much Thalia's answer mattered to her.
Thalia met her gaze steadily. 'No.'
'You guys could work,' Nico had said in the Caves of Night. Thalia's heart did a series of somersaults as she allowed herself to consider the possibility.
'Will she be waiting for you in Seattle?'
Thalia shrugged. 'I guess she'll summon me when she wants to talk about it.'
It was as if Artemis had simply been waiting for her to reach this conclusion. The words had barely left Thalia's lips when a shadow cut through the reflection of the moon and their wavering images on the sea surface. The silver carriage appeared out of nowhere and descended in a graceful arc to land on the surface of the ocean without a single splash. Hitched to the front of it, beating their hooves against the empty air, were four golden-horned deer.
'I think that's my ride,' Thalia said, trying to hide the nervousness creeping up her throat. 'Sorry.' She wasn't sure what she was apologising for-leaving in the middle of their conversation? Everything that she was leaving unspoken? A relationship that could never happen?
Reyna shook her head. She watched wistfully as Thalia leapt the rails of the Festusmobile and landed in Artemis's moon chariot.
'Story of my life,' she said lightly. 'I find someone, but they're never mine to keep.'
Thalia blinked, and the next thing she knew, the moon chariot was gliding smoothly across the sky. Thalia gulped and forced herself not to look down, focusing instead on the auburn-haired girl who sat facing her with her arms crossed like a petulant twelve-year-old.
She hoped Artemis wasn't in an irritable mood. Thalia had only been summoned into the moon chariot once before, and that was when Artemis had needed to deliver a dire (and garbled) warning about giants, a dangerous gamble, and a vague instruction to find the Amazons. She'd been on the verge of that split personality disorder the Greek-and-Roman schism had created then.
'My lady.' Thalia couldn't exactly kneel in the narrow chariot, so she settled for bowing her head respectfully.
'Thalia.' Artemis stroked the fur of something on the seat next to her. Thalia's eyes widened when she recognised it: the fuzzy body of a hare with a long, fluffy squirrel's tail. Its head, half-boar, half-rodent, rested on the seat, weaselly ears drooping on either side.
The muscaliet lay completely still, without the slightest rise and fall of its chest.
'I saw in Tartarus-' Thalia began.
'Yes,' said Artemis sadly. 'This was the last one.'
Thalia clenched her fists.
'Lycaon killed it two days ago. Unfortunately, they've been fading from human consciousness since the Middle Ages. It doesn't even have a decent Wikipedia page left. Now that the last one is gone…' Artemis turned sorrowful eyes on Thalia. Guilt rippled through her as she remembered the muscaliets leaping into the rivers of Tartarus.
'I'm sorry,' Thalia said. 'We were supposed to protect it.'
'Yes.' Artemis raised her eyes to the stars. 'And it is too late now to give them a place among the constellations.' The muscaliet's fur shimmered, and then its body vanished. 'It will be as if they never existed.'
'If I hadn't-if I'd been hunting Lycaon's wolf pack-' Thalia swallowed hard. Was this her fault, for leaving her duties behind?
'You are sorry about the muscaliets,' Artemis observed, 'but not regretful of your decision.'
'Percy-' Had she traded Percy's life for the existence of a species? Thalia realised guiltily that even if she had to choose again now, she would still have done the same thing. Add one more black mark on her performance review. 'Is this where you punish me for breaking my oath?'
Artemis regarded her sternly. 'If I thought you had indeed leapt into Tartarus in direct betrayal of your oath, we would not be having a chat about it.'
'I guess you could always turn me into a muscaliet. Give them a new lease of life.'
'Don't tempt me, Thalia.'
'Sorry.'
'Percy Jackson,' Artemis mused. 'A fine man, indeed. I find I cannot fault your loyalty to him. I myself have honoured men in the past who have proven themselves worthy-Hippolytos, Orion…well, perhaps that one was a mistake.' Her mouth twisted wryly. The former male Hunter had been responsible for the deaths of a dozen Hunters and Amazons, and Thalia knew Artemis greatly regretted being incapacitated when he'd attacked.
'Reyna took him out,' Thalia recalled.
'So she did.' The edges of Artemis's mouth quirked. 'I must admit, even though I don't approve of your distraction, I can't fault your taste.'
Thalia's face grew hot. 'I didn't mean to-'
'But it didn't start there, did it?' Artemis sighed. 'Do you know why I recruit my maidens before they reach their teens, Thalia?'
'Before we get distracted by boys. Or love, I guess.'
'That's one reason, yes. But besides that, the young don't realise that living forever has its costs. They are like us immortals-they haven't been among mortals long enough to grow attached. The Hunt gives them a family and companionship in a safe haven where their happiness is not defined by men. In exchange…well, I think you have recognised there is a sacrifice to be made, and the older you are when you make it, the costlier it is.'
Artemis was right. When Thalia had joined the Hunters, it had been like escaping a world that had taken everything from her: her brother, her first love, her confidence. Those first few years leading the Hunt had been idyllic-daring adventures, female solidarity, great triumphs against men and monsters.
Then she'd found Jason again-no longer the two-year-old she'd lost, but all grown up-her age!-and growing older each year. It had truly hit her then what immortality meant. Maybe she'd given up the love of men, but that didn't mean she didn't still have something precious to leave behind.
Meeting Reyna only escalated her dilemma. The Roman praetor kept ambushing Thalia's thoughts, like a recurring dream she couldn't quite shake. She'd see Reyna's sharp eyes in the stare of her sister Hylla's; she'd encounter a formidable opponent and Reyna would spring to mind; she'd voice an opinion and realise that Reyna's beliefs had snuck surreptitiously into her own.
When Emmie and Jo had shared their story-ending in them living together, maintaining Artemis's Waystation in Indianapolis-she'd briefly entertained a tantalising image, quickly quashed, of herself and Reyna in their place. She'd started to wonder if her fateful decision to take Artemis's pledge had simply been another impulsive choice in the spectacular series of impulsive choices that made up the life of Thalia Grace: running away, following Luke into a dragon's cave, fighting solo on Half-Blood Hill…
'I just have to learn to deal with it, right? I mean, I'm-' Thalia bit her lip before the word stuck could slip out. She corrected herself instead with, 'sworn to lead the Hunt forever. That's my destiny.' She hoped she didn't sound too bitter. Artemis wouldn't appreciate her lack of gratitude.
'Is that what you want?'
'You're not going to turn me into a bear if I answer that wrong, are you?'
Artemis laughed. 'I think we've come a long way since those days. Times change. We have alliances with the Amazons now-we don't even present the Hunt as the only alternative for girls. I don't think we'll be able to compete so well for recruits if I don't relax the exit clauses a little. I mean, "eternal maidenhood or death"-I guess that's not as attractive compared to "rule all men and take over the world."'
'Exit clauses,' Thalia repeated. Did Artemis mean…?
'You would, of course, renounce immortality. That wouldn't change. And it would be final. If you choose to leave, you would never be a Hunter again.'
'Are you-are you offering me an out?' She'd spoken of it to Reyna in a blasé manner, but she hadn't really believed it would happen. And certainly not like this, as though the decision was in her hands. As though she had a choice in the matter.
Artemis cocked her head to one side and regarded Thalia steadily.
'But-I'm the leader. You can't-I can't just-'
The choice felt as impossible as the first time she'd received the offer to join, when she hadn't been able to fathom leaving Luke behind. That had been a mistake. Would choosing to leave her Hunters be one, too? It wasn't like she and Reyna already had something concrete, the way Emmie and Jo did. What awaited her if she chose to leave?
Possibility, her mind whispered. A chance at a future shared in a partnership of equals.
A future. It was something Thalia hardly ever spared a thought for in the past six years. When you had forever to live, the future ceased to mean anything important. But when she thought about Reyna, the word became a delicate crystal in her hands: momentous and fragile.
'What are you really afraid of, Thalia?'
'I-' She bowed her head. 'How do I know I'm not just rushing into another decision? Abandoning another family to chase after something new?'
Artemis smiled. 'With age comes the tempering of impulsivity, I see.' She tapped her chin. 'How about this: stay with us until the Winter Solstice. Hunt the monster that extinguished the muscaliets. Discharge this last duty without distractions, and when you have completed this quest, you may return to your decision with a clearer head. And then if you so choose, I will release you from my service.' Artemis leaned forward and touched the reins of her chariot lightly. Her deer swooped into a graceful descent. 'Don't be afraid to move on.'
Thalia heard the echo of Angelos's proclamation: Moving on is not the same as leaving someone behind.
The moon chariot landed next to the Festusmobile.
'I will leave you for now. I believe our Hunters are waiting for you in Seattle.'
Reyna was still on the upper deck. She stared as Thalia hopped from Artemis's chariot to land cat-footed on the deck. Her expression was one Thalia would definitely factor into her eventual decision.
'That story of your life,' Thalia told her. 'Don't write off the ending just yet.'
Chapter 18
Author: shiiki
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Thalia Grace/Reyna Ramírez-Arellano + a full cast of supporting characters
Fandom: Percy Jackson
Summary: Percy and Annabeth intended to retire and spend a quiet four years at college in New Rome. However, old enemies have other ideas, and one very determined attack leaves Percy poisoned and fighting for his life and Annabeth facing the difficult decision of giving him the only cure: water from the Lethe...and dealing with the heartbreaking side-effects. There is hope, though, but will Percy, Annabeth, and their friends have the courage to brave Tartarus again to retrieve Percy's memories from the edge of Chaos?
In this chapter
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Thalia Grace, Reyna Ramirez-Arellano, Artemis, and the rest of the gang in the background
Word Count: 3,838
Chapter Summary: Thalia has a difficult decision to make.
Notes: When I read about Emmie and Jo in The Dark Prophecy, I felt like it was a little nod to my one canon-unverified ship. It seemed like their existence was proof of a future for Thalia and Reyna. A lot of this chapter was heavily influenced by their story. And on a different, unrelated note, yes, Cleveland is totally a reference to the SoM movie.
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XVII
THALIA
Thalia hated flying.
Fortunately, the weird amphibious contraption Leo Valdez had cooked up wasn't flying so much as it was skimming the surface of the Pacific Ocean. It didn't feel all that different from sailing a ship, though Leo insisted they were airborne. He had tried to explain how it worked, but only Annabeth seemed able to make any sense of his spiel about Festus, a New Rome limo, and hydrofoils. Or care about it, for that matter. Everyone else was more interested in trading stories about their respective journeys.
Piper related the rescue team's story: how she and Jason had rushed to Camp Jupiter, just as Frank, Hazel, and Reyna finally convinced the senate to support the quest. ('It was really Reyna's doing,' Frank admitted. 'You should have seen her-lost her temper spectacularly and chewed them all out. They gave us everything we requested for after that.') How they'd driven the senate limousine to Indiana to find Leo, who'd hacked location services on Thanatos's iPad to track him down. How Tyson and Grover had found them in Cleveland and insisted on helping. ('Tyson sat on Death!' Leo marvelled. 'It was totally awesome!') Between Piper's Charmspeak and Frank calling in an old favour ('We did free him from captivity once,' Frank reminded Percy), Thanatos hadn't needed all that much coercion to help them out. After that, it had been a matter of deciding where to set up their rescue base. Leo and Tyson had gone straight to work fixing up the 'Festusmobile' so that they could race to Hawaii.
'And this little beauty was born,' Leo said proudly.
Thalia looked appreciatively around the lower deck room they'd gathered in. The décor definitely had a strong Roman theme. The leather seats were a deep, Camp Jupiter purple, and the mahogany bar running along the wall had SPQR carved into it.
'Talk about travelling in style,' Thalia murmured.
Reyna shrugged, glancing at Frank and Hazel. 'Perks of the praetorship. You get access to the best limos. Though I think this is the first time anyone's ever converted it into an amphibious vehicle.'
'And here leading the Hunt only gets me a solo tent and maybe a ride in the moon chariot once a decade.'
Reyna looked away and Thalia bit her lip, cursing herself inwardly for bringing up the subject of the Hunters.
She remembered the shadow that had flickered across Reyna's face when they'd arrived at the Festusmobile and Thalia had to tell Leo to chart a course for Seattle so that she could pick up her Hunters from Amazon headquarters. It was like shutters going down, erasing any trace of the emotions simmering beneath Reyna's usual stoic façade.
Thalia felt like an idiot.
Her brain wouldn't stop replaying the moment she'd first opened her eyes in the Kazumura Cave to find Reyna's face filling her vision, more expressive than Thalia had ever seen it. In all the time Thalia had known her, Reyna had always been controlled and guarded, approaching the world with a cool logic that belied her young age.
Seeing a crack in that careful composure had sparked something deep in Thalia's heart-something she couldn't quite define. Reyna hadn't cried in exuberant relief at their return, the way Piper or Tyson had, but the emotions written plainly across her usually reserved face seemed to shout even louder to Thalia: You're here. That's all that matters.
It dragged her thoughts back to certain fantasies the spirits of Night had gleefully splashed over their cave walls. Fantasies in which Thalia had very deliberately made Reyna come undone. In a very different way, of course.
It was hard to hide from it now, after she'd seen her own feelings plainly in Tartarus. They were no longer secrets, those brief forbidden fantasies she'd always pushed away as quickly as they'd crept into her mind. Her own actions over the past few years stared accusingly at her. Visits to Camp Jupiter-always justified as scouting missions or drop-ins on Annabeth and Percy-that were more frequent than should have been warranted. Excuses to team up with the Amazons, lately always timed so conveniently to when Queen Hylla had her sister visiting. Coffee dates with Reyna to 'gather intelligence', even after Reyna ceased to be praetor-and even though little of what they shared over a good strong espresso ever made it back to Artemis.
The whole time they'd made their way out of the lava tube, Reyna hadn't let go of Thalia. Maybe it was completely innocent-after coming out of Tartarus, all five of them had needed support to stumble along-but Thalia couldn't shake the idea that the gentle pressure of Reyna's arm around her, the soft press of fingers into her elbow, and the scalding brush of skin against skin meant a little more than supportive friendship.
Thalia cursed herself again for letting things get this far. All this time she'd been playing with fire-fanning a spark that once kindled, she had no choice but to stamp out.
After all, she wasn't free to love.
Across the table, the others were now recounting the journey through Tartarus. Will was just explaining their fight against the arai. Thalia grimaced as she remembered the feel of every arrow she'd ever shot at a monster piercing through her body.
'Annabeth was hurt?' Tyson said as Will described their injuries. The Cyclops's eye filled with tears.
Annabeth patted his hand. 'I'm okay, Tyson. Will healed me-healed all of us.'
'How?' asked Hazel, her eyes wide. 'It sounds like it was almost impossible.'
Will turned his palms face-up, staring at them as though he still couldn't believe what they had managed in Tartarus. 'I don't know,' he admitted. 'I mean, I've done small things before, but this was kinda insane.'
Nico reached over the table and took Will's hand. 'Tartarus brought out your true strength,' he said. 'You're a healer, Will. And you were right all along-facing ourselves down there made us stronger.'
The room fell silent as they all took in the enormous weight of Nico's words.
'Well,' Percy said at last, 'I can tell you how he managed it.'
Everyone turned to look at him.
'You can?' Will said in surprise.
Percy nodded, a sly grin on his face. 'It was just a little…wait for it…' He paused for effect.
Annabeth elbowed him in the ribs. 'Just tell us,' she complained.
'Will power!'
Leo let out a bark of laughter and high-fived Percy, while everyone else groaned at the bad pun. Piper pelted both boys with a handful of peanuts.
Thalia rolled her eyes. Her gaze landed back on Reyna, taking in the small smile on her face. For no reason at all, it made her breath catch in her throat. Thalia's face flushed with embarrassment. Fortunately, no one seemed to notice, though if this kept up, she thought she might spontaneously combust soon.
'Excuse me,' she muttered, getting up and squeezing past Annabeth and Nico to leave the table. 'Just gonna go up on deck for a bit.'
The moon was just beginning its slow climb over the ocean when Thalia emerged onto the breezy upper deck. It was shaped like the back of a dragon-it might even be part of Leo's bronze dragon itself, with those wings on either side powering them forward. Thalia leaned over the side. Her new reflection stared back at her, glowing in the moonlight.
She hadn't really had the chance to take in the changes adding six years of age had wrought to her physical appearance. There was some softening of her features-her face seemed less angular, her body's curves more developed. When she squinted, she saw the slightest hint of a wrinkle forming over her forehead, like a line that had been traced by repeating a facial expression over time. Her eyes retained their shape, but they seemed to be set deeper in her face, thrown into sharper focus.
Subtle changes, but after years of seeing the same unchanging features in the mirror, this new face was an unfamiliar stranger. Not an unwelcome one, though. This girl-this woman-looked settled, comfortable, like someone who had grown into her own skin. She looked like the kind of girl who could grow old alongside someone like Reyna, laughing over their deepening wrinkles and white hairs as the years passed.
Her mind flashed to a long conversation she'd once had about life and love with a greying couple in the Midwest, caretakers of Artemis's Waystation. A pair of former Hunters who had renounced immortality for love.
When Thalia had renounced love for immortality (well, the actual contract involved a renunciation of men, but love was kind of embedded in the fine print), the thought that she'd ever want to reverse it hadn't crossed her mind. She'd embraced the Hunters after Luke's betrayal, and she could still remember the sense of peace that had washed over her once she'd committed herself to the Hunt, knowing that no man would ever hurt her again. Leading the Hunters seemed like her destiny, one that she'd resisted initially, but eventually come to accept.
Was it possible that you could have more than one destiny in your lifetime? That destiny might not be a final destination, but a journey?
Hemithea and Josephine might have chosen to leave the Hunters to find their answer to that question, but was it a question Thalia had the right to ask?
Thalia wasn't just any Hunter; she was their leader. Leaving had greater consequences for her. Never mind that she would essentially be breaking a contract with Artemis (and while her Lady was pretty reasonable as far as deities went, she was still a goddess, and you offended the Olympians at your own peril). Zoë Nightshade had led the Hunters for nearly three thousand years; how could Thalia abandon them after a paltry six?
Thalia let out a growl of frustration. Why did all her choices have to involve leaving people behind?
Soft footsteps announced Reyna's arrival seconds before her reflection appeared in the water next to Thalia's.
'Nico was just telling us about Geras,' Reyna said, waving a hand at their reflections. 'Sounds like he was a real creep.'
'Yeah, well. Men.'
Reyna pursed her lips. 'I think it's just people in general, when they want to have power over you.'
'Isn't it your sister who believes in having power over men?'
'Well, there's a reason she's the Amazon, not me.' Reyna crossed her arms. 'I think Hylla sees it as payback, in a way. Turning the tables so that women are on top. But what I really wanted-what I really want-is to be on equal footing with anyone I work with, male or female. When I was praetor, I wanted to lead alongside someone who valued me as an equal, and whom I valued as well.' Her arms fell back to her sides. 'Frank's a decent guy. So's Percy. And Jason-well, he was the first guy to show me equal partnership could be possible.' Her lips twisted in a wry smile, as though recalling her previous crush, which Thalia had heard about, but never really discussed.
Thalia felt a sudden, irrational urge to cuff her brother around the head.
On the heels of it was an old memory of being held at knife-point in an Amazon stronghold in San Juan: a kidnapping attempt flipped upside down when the girl she'd knocked out and abducted (all for a good cause, of course) had turned the tables on her. Reyna had pressed Thalia's own knife to her throat and demanded to speak to Artemis's lieutenant, and Thalia's first thought had been, I've met my match!
She wondered now, if the Hunters had found Reyna early enough, would Reyna have ended up like her?
Would it have made a difference to their friendship-or whatever this was-now?
'Are you going to be in trouble for this?'
It took her a moment to realise that Reyna was asking about her new appearance.
'I dunno. I didn't exactly ask permission to go, so I'll probably have to answer to that first. Though Artemis likes Percy well enough, so she might let me off the hook for helping him. But this-' she gestured to her face, 'I don't know. None of us are older than sixteen. Maybe she'll just age me back down. Or turn me into a deer. Or kick me out. I could go join Hylla.'
There was a few seconds' pause before Reyna asked, 'Would you?' Her voice had a faint edge to it, as though she was trying to hide how much Thalia's answer mattered to her.
Thalia met her gaze steadily. 'No.'
'You guys could work,' Nico had said in the Caves of Night. Thalia's heart did a series of somersaults as she allowed herself to consider the possibility.
'Will she be waiting for you in Seattle?'
Thalia shrugged. 'I guess she'll summon me when she wants to talk about it.'
It was as if Artemis had simply been waiting for her to reach this conclusion. The words had barely left Thalia's lips when a shadow cut through the reflection of the moon and their wavering images on the sea surface. The silver carriage appeared out of nowhere and descended in a graceful arc to land on the surface of the ocean without a single splash. Hitched to the front of it, beating their hooves against the empty air, were four golden-horned deer.
'I think that's my ride,' Thalia said, trying to hide the nervousness creeping up her throat. 'Sorry.' She wasn't sure what she was apologising for-leaving in the middle of their conversation? Everything that she was leaving unspoken? A relationship that could never happen?
Reyna shook her head. She watched wistfully as Thalia leapt the rails of the Festusmobile and landed in Artemis's moon chariot.
'Story of my life,' she said lightly. 'I find someone, but they're never mine to keep.'
Thalia blinked, and the next thing she knew, the moon chariot was gliding smoothly across the sky. Thalia gulped and forced herself not to look down, focusing instead on the auburn-haired girl who sat facing her with her arms crossed like a petulant twelve-year-old.
She hoped Artemis wasn't in an irritable mood. Thalia had only been summoned into the moon chariot once before, and that was when Artemis had needed to deliver a dire (and garbled) warning about giants, a dangerous gamble, and a vague instruction to find the Amazons. She'd been on the verge of that split personality disorder the Greek-and-Roman schism had created then.
'My lady.' Thalia couldn't exactly kneel in the narrow chariot, so she settled for bowing her head respectfully.
'Thalia.' Artemis stroked the fur of something on the seat next to her. Thalia's eyes widened when she recognised it: the fuzzy body of a hare with a long, fluffy squirrel's tail. Its head, half-boar, half-rodent, rested on the seat, weaselly ears drooping on either side.
The muscaliet lay completely still, without the slightest rise and fall of its chest.
'I saw in Tartarus-' Thalia began.
'Yes,' said Artemis sadly. 'This was the last one.'
Thalia clenched her fists.
'Lycaon killed it two days ago. Unfortunately, they've been fading from human consciousness since the Middle Ages. It doesn't even have a decent Wikipedia page left. Now that the last one is gone…' Artemis turned sorrowful eyes on Thalia. Guilt rippled through her as she remembered the muscaliets leaping into the rivers of Tartarus.
'I'm sorry,' Thalia said. 'We were supposed to protect it.'
'Yes.' Artemis raised her eyes to the stars. 'And it is too late now to give them a place among the constellations.' The muscaliet's fur shimmered, and then its body vanished. 'It will be as if they never existed.'
'If I hadn't-if I'd been hunting Lycaon's wolf pack-' Thalia swallowed hard. Was this her fault, for leaving her duties behind?
'You are sorry about the muscaliets,' Artemis observed, 'but not regretful of your decision.'
'Percy-' Had she traded Percy's life for the existence of a species? Thalia realised guiltily that even if she had to choose again now, she would still have done the same thing. Add one more black mark on her performance review. 'Is this where you punish me for breaking my oath?'
Artemis regarded her sternly. 'If I thought you had indeed leapt into Tartarus in direct betrayal of your oath, we would not be having a chat about it.'
'I guess you could always turn me into a muscaliet. Give them a new lease of life.'
'Don't tempt me, Thalia.'
'Sorry.'
'Percy Jackson,' Artemis mused. 'A fine man, indeed. I find I cannot fault your loyalty to him. I myself have honoured men in the past who have proven themselves worthy-Hippolytos, Orion…well, perhaps that one was a mistake.' Her mouth twisted wryly. The former male Hunter had been responsible for the deaths of a dozen Hunters and Amazons, and Thalia knew Artemis greatly regretted being incapacitated when he'd attacked.
'Reyna took him out,' Thalia recalled.
'So she did.' The edges of Artemis's mouth quirked. 'I must admit, even though I don't approve of your distraction, I can't fault your taste.'
Thalia's face grew hot. 'I didn't mean to-'
'But it didn't start there, did it?' Artemis sighed. 'Do you know why I recruit my maidens before they reach their teens, Thalia?'
'Before we get distracted by boys. Or love, I guess.'
'That's one reason, yes. But besides that, the young don't realise that living forever has its costs. They are like us immortals-they haven't been among mortals long enough to grow attached. The Hunt gives them a family and companionship in a safe haven where their happiness is not defined by men. In exchange…well, I think you have recognised there is a sacrifice to be made, and the older you are when you make it, the costlier it is.'
Artemis was right. When Thalia had joined the Hunters, it had been like escaping a world that had taken everything from her: her brother, her first love, her confidence. Those first few years leading the Hunt had been idyllic-daring adventures, female solidarity, great triumphs against men and monsters.
Then she'd found Jason again-no longer the two-year-old she'd lost, but all grown up-her age!-and growing older each year. It had truly hit her then what immortality meant. Maybe she'd given up the love of men, but that didn't mean she didn't still have something precious to leave behind.
Meeting Reyna only escalated her dilemma. The Roman praetor kept ambushing Thalia's thoughts, like a recurring dream she couldn't quite shake. She'd see Reyna's sharp eyes in the stare of her sister Hylla's; she'd encounter a formidable opponent and Reyna would spring to mind; she'd voice an opinion and realise that Reyna's beliefs had snuck surreptitiously into her own.
When Emmie and Jo had shared their story-ending in them living together, maintaining Artemis's Waystation in Indianapolis-she'd briefly entertained a tantalising image, quickly quashed, of herself and Reyna in their place. She'd started to wonder if her fateful decision to take Artemis's pledge had simply been another impulsive choice in the spectacular series of impulsive choices that made up the life of Thalia Grace: running away, following Luke into a dragon's cave, fighting solo on Half-Blood Hill…
'I just have to learn to deal with it, right? I mean, I'm-' Thalia bit her lip before the word stuck could slip out. She corrected herself instead with, 'sworn to lead the Hunt forever. That's my destiny.' She hoped she didn't sound too bitter. Artemis wouldn't appreciate her lack of gratitude.
'Is that what you want?'
'You're not going to turn me into a bear if I answer that wrong, are you?'
Artemis laughed. 'I think we've come a long way since those days. Times change. We have alliances with the Amazons now-we don't even present the Hunt as the only alternative for girls. I don't think we'll be able to compete so well for recruits if I don't relax the exit clauses a little. I mean, "eternal maidenhood or death"-I guess that's not as attractive compared to "rule all men and take over the world."'
'Exit clauses,' Thalia repeated. Did Artemis mean…?
'You would, of course, renounce immortality. That wouldn't change. And it would be final. If you choose to leave, you would never be a Hunter again.'
'Are you-are you offering me an out?' She'd spoken of it to Reyna in a blasé manner, but she hadn't really believed it would happen. And certainly not like this, as though the decision was in her hands. As though she had a choice in the matter.
Artemis cocked her head to one side and regarded Thalia steadily.
'But-I'm the leader. You can't-I can't just-'
The choice felt as impossible as the first time she'd received the offer to join, when she hadn't been able to fathom leaving Luke behind. That had been a mistake. Would choosing to leave her Hunters be one, too? It wasn't like she and Reyna already had something concrete, the way Emmie and Jo did. What awaited her if she chose to leave?
Possibility, her mind whispered. A chance at a future shared in a partnership of equals.
A future. It was something Thalia hardly ever spared a thought for in the past six years. When you had forever to live, the future ceased to mean anything important. But when she thought about Reyna, the word became a delicate crystal in her hands: momentous and fragile.
'What are you really afraid of, Thalia?'
'I-' She bowed her head. 'How do I know I'm not just rushing into another decision? Abandoning another family to chase after something new?'
Artemis smiled. 'With age comes the tempering of impulsivity, I see.' She tapped her chin. 'How about this: stay with us until the Winter Solstice. Hunt the monster that extinguished the muscaliets. Discharge this last duty without distractions, and when you have completed this quest, you may return to your decision with a clearer head. And then if you so choose, I will release you from my service.' Artemis leaned forward and touched the reins of her chariot lightly. Her deer swooped into a graceful descent. 'Don't be afraid to move on.'
Thalia heard the echo of Angelos's proclamation: Moving on is not the same as leaving someone behind.
The moon chariot landed next to the Festusmobile.
'I will leave you for now. I believe our Hunters are waiting for you in Seattle.'
Reyna was still on the upper deck. She stared as Thalia hopped from Artemis's chariot to land cat-footed on the deck. Her expression was one Thalia would definitely factor into her eventual decision.
'That story of your life,' Thalia told her. 'Don't write off the ending just yet.'
Chapter 18