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in
shiikifics
FIC: The Curse of Lethe, chpt 14
Title: The Curse of Lethe
Author: shiiki
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Thalia Grace/Reyna Ramírez-Arellano + a full cast of supporting characters
Fandom: Percy Jackson
Summary: Percy and Annabeth intended to retire and spend a quiet four years at college in New Rome. However, old enemies have other ideas, and one very determined attack leaves Percy poisoned and fighting for his life and Annabeth facing the difficult decision of giving him the only cure: water from the Lethe…and dealing with the heartbreaking side-effects. There is hope, though, but will Percy, Annabeth, and their friends have the courage to brave Tartarus again to retrieve Percy's memories from the edge of Chaos?
In this chapter
Rating: R
Characters: Nico di Angelo, Will Solace, Annabeth Chase, Percy Jackson, Thalia Grace, Bob, Damasen, Piper McLean, Jason Grace, various deities from Greek mythology
Word Count: 5,812
Chapter Summary: The alternate route through Tartarus is more treacherous than the original.
Notes: This chapter is rated R for references to self-harm and allusions to mental illness and post-traumatic stress. Although the details are not explicit, I would still like to stress that if any of these issues are triggers for you, it might be better to skip this chapter!
I went all out with the spirits in this chapter. I figured, why not make use of the insanely many that Greek mythology has to offer? Of course, I embellished a lot, but hey, RR gave us a great example of how to make up stories for the Greek myths, right? You can read more about each of them here:
The unnamed cymbal-hand girl who guards the Caves of Night; Pheme; Apate; Momus; ; Eleos; Angelos (who incidentally is recorded as Zeus and Hera’s daughter-but hated by Hera, but also called Angelia, who is named as a daughter of Hermes … I think you can probably understand why I integrated both myths!)
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XIV
NICO
Nico couldn't stop shivering.
He'd always avoided small spaces since he'd been trapped in Otis and Ephialtes' bronze jar, and Arachne's spider silk prison was a considerably tighter fit than the jar. Even after he was freed, he couldn't shake off the claustrophobic way the fibres had closed in on him, wrapping him progressively tighter in their iron grip.
And then there were their new companions. Percy and Annabeth were clearly overjoyed at Bob and Damasen's appearance. Nico knew he should be, too-Bob had been a long-time friend, one of the few he'd had in those lonely years between losing Bianca and finding Hazel-but the 'welcome back' he offered the Titan tasted like bile in his mouth.
Twice, now, Bob had come when someone had needed him. But why had he never come for Nico?
'Nico, friend,' Bob said in his rumbling voice, 'you are not good?'
'I'm fine.' Nico pushed the bitterness down. Stop being petty, he told himself.
Oh, but you always knew how to bear even the most trifling grudges! How many people have you blamed for things they couldn't control? The wailing souls in the Acheron gleefully supplied him with examples of all the times he'd lashed out with anger. At Percy. At Annabeth. At Jason. The list went on. Your heart is full of hatred. You're no better than us.
Shut up, Nico told them silently.
Will looked at him sharply. Obviously he didn't believe for a second Nico was fine, but he didn't push it.
'How did you and Damasen make it out of Chaos?' Annabeth asked. 'We hoped you would, but we didn't really know if it was actually possible.'
'Hm,' said Bob. He scratched his scruffy silver beard. 'Stars called our names.'
Damasen held out a twisted bundle of rope wound with a few silver arrows: the lines they'd left dangling into the pit of Chaos after pulling Percy and Annabeth up.
'You called for us in the dark of Night, Annabeth Chase,' he said. 'You called us back to who we were. Who we chose to be.'
'We chose us,' Bob said.
'You chose your own fate,' Annabeth translated.
'When we chose to fight by your side, it gave us an identity that was foreign to Tartarus. It gave us an identity to hold on to even in Chaos.'
Bob nodded. 'Tartarus could not collect our souls for his armour after all.'
Annabeth looked like there was more she wanted to ask about this, but she just said, 'Will you come with us now, then?'
'You picked a dangerous path, demigods,' Damasen said solemnly. 'The Caves of Night are not meant to be traversed by mortals.'
'We didn't have a choice,' Thalia said. 'And we're stronger than you think.'
'Perhaps. But what lies in these caves are not things that can be defeated by physical strength alone.' His eyes fell on Nico. 'I think you know this, young son of Hades.'
Nico looked away.
'Do you know another way, then?' Annabeth said hopefully. 'We have to get to the heart of Tartarus. The sooner the better.'
Bob and Damasen looked at each other.
'Caves are fastest,' Bob said. 'But full of spirits. They do not disturb Titans. I do not know if your minds can withstand it.'
'I've made it past them,' Nico said. 'Mimas brought me through these caves.'
Six pairs of eyes fixed on him curiously. Nico wanted to sink back into the shadows. He'd never spoken of this before. Not to Reyna, not to Will, not even to Hazel, to whom he'd outlined the essentials of his experience right after he'd gotten out of Tartarus the previous time.
No one knew how he'd been tricked by the crafty giant Mimas into thinking he'd found the Doors, only to tumble down a black chute, straight into the bowels of Tartarus. Or how Mimas and his band of gigantes had bound him and marched him through these caves before handing him over to the twin giants and their bronze jar.
He'd managed for years to suppress the visions that the cruel deities in the Caves of Night had presented him. But now he was back on the doorstep of those spirits, with the nightmares so close, they took no effort to recall.
'The spawn of Nyx make their homes in these caves,' Nico explained. 'We've only scratched the surface of it. She birthed all the primordial spirits that personify the darkest evils. Pandora's pithos, the jar that released those evils into the world-it was filled here.'
'Just more demons to fight, then,' Thalia said.
Nico wanted to smack the confidence off her freckled face. 'You don't understand,' he said flatly. 'They make you see-see things.'
They weren't things he could find words for. How could he possibly explain how the spirits of Nyx had turned him inside out and put his innermost feelings shamefully on display?
Once, he'd hoped that he could have shared his story with Percy and Annabeth. Then he'd realised their experience was different. No one who had never encountered the Caves of Night could possibly understand how it felt to come through them. They way they shattered you into a million pieces of your own shame.
You will always be alone, Nico di Angelo. Who would ever love you?
He remembered begging for mercy while Mimas howled with glee. In the end, Otis and Ephialtes hadn't needed to stuff him in the bronze jar. He'd crawled in by himself, broken and desperate to escape the horrors. The soundproof jar had given him a brief respite from Mimas's horror show, before he'd realised that in his weakness, he'd been enticed into another trap.
He'd never admitted it to anyone, but he hadn't turned to his pomegranate seeds as a ploy to survive. By the time he'd remembered he had them, he'd simply been grateful for the escape the death trance allowed him, even if it was into a mindless coma.
None of the other demigods on the Argo had even suspected during his time with them that he'd used the seeds occasionally to forget. To meditate until he was completely numb to his feelings. They'd barely noticed when he'd holed himself up, silent and still.
A hand fell on his shoulder. Expecting Will and not wanting his pity, he tried to shrug it away. But Annabeth's grip was firm.
'I remember Mimas. How he plays on your emotions,' she said. 'It's awful. I hated it, too. But he's not here now. And you are. You were strong enough to survive it once, and that's why you knew you could get us through again. You led us this far, Nico. We trust you. And we're in this together.'
You will always be alone.
Nico shook the voice out of his head again. He put his hand on top of Annabeth's. She smiled and squeezed his shoulder once, then let go.
'We will help to keep the spirits from attacking physically,' Damasen said. 'But their powers are beyond our control. Many have been driven mad by what they show-even the lesser monsters dare not venture here.'
'Take them spirally,' Bob suggested.
Damasen's rust-coloured eyes blinked slowly. 'Yes, that is a possibility.'
'Where are we going?' Annabeth asked. 'Will it still get us to the heart of Tartarus?'
'A small detour,' Bob promised. 'A rest stop.'
'With luck,' Damasen added, 'it will give some peace after…'
'Rest stop sounds good,' said Percy.
With Bob and Damasen in the lead, they plunged forward into the red-tinged darkness of the caves. The Acheron followed them at first, in a crescendo of wailing souls that soon reached a frenetic pitch of agony.
Suffer with us, Nico di Angelo! they screamed in his mind. Why should you escape punishment for your crimes?
Bianca sizzled up in a storm of electricity, clutching the tiny figurine of their father. Percy and Annabeth slipped from his hand and fell away into endless darkness. Bryce Lawrence faded into black obscurity. Octavian exploded in a firestorm.
Nico gritted his teeth until the insistent cries of 'Your fault! All your fault!' finally dulled to an accusing murmur when their path split from the river. The others wore varied expressions of relief at the reprieve, but Nico knew the Acheron's torments were child's play compared to what lay ahead of them.
They didn't have to wait long. A loud clang greeted them at an otherwise innocuous junction. Sprouting from an outcrop of rock was the upper body of a girl with ashen skin and cymbals in place of hands. Her hair grew in two plaited bundles that ended in thick, grey bobs. These beat against the cave walls in time with her clashing cymbal hands to create a booming rhythm that reverberated through Nico's whole body.
Her lips stretched into a wicked smile. Although she didn't speak, a dull whisper rose out of the darkness: 'What have we here?'
The last word echoed down the tunnels like a doorbell alerting the cave dwellers to their arrival. As it grew louder, the speaker fluttered down from the ceiling. She landed in front of Nico, her bat wings curving back around a golden trumpet that hung over her shoulder.
'I thought I heard visitors,' she hissed. Across her body, dozens of wagging tongues took up the chant: Visitors, visitors, VISITORS. Purple eyes dotted her feathery skin, running along her arms and torso. She had more ears than Nico could count: at least three pairs on her head alone, and more sprouting from her sides.
'All the better to hear you with,' one of her tongues told Nico.
Bob stepped in front of her. 'They're with us, Pheme,' he said.
Pheme laughed. 'I don't touch, Titan. I merely spread the news-all the news.' Her mouth curved viciously. 'And my siblings don't need to touch your…friends-' the word dripped with innuendo-'to devour them.'
'Keep moving,' Damasen ordered. 'Pheme spreads hearsay-her words travel like wildfire. The others will descend shortly. Bob and I will guard you, but we cannot carry you through if you stop.'
Passing Pheme was like walking through a high school hallway under the judgemental eyes of the entire student body. Gossip spewed from her numerous tongues, a flurry of speculation and recrimination.
That's the new kid. The weird one with the foreign accent.
He's not one of us.
The rumours grew more pointed, turning into barbed accusations about his personal life. It was just as Nico remembered from his first passage through this place-his secrets tossed around and dissected in persistent whispers that grew louder by the second.
I heard he's got a crush on a boy.
I heard it was Percy Jackson-like he'd ever have a chance! Jackson's no poof.
Did you hear what he got up to with that Solace kid? Bloody fag.
It had been bad enough the first time, with Pheme whispering his own shameful feelings into his ears. Now his old fears about coming out were on display again, only this time four other people-six if you counted Bob and Damasen-were privy to them, too. Even though it was no longer a big secret that he was gay, the torments he had endured while coming to terms with it were his. It was just like when Eros had laid him bare before Jason, forcing confessions from him that he hadn't been ready to give.
Even if his friends accepted him, it didn't mean he was comfortable having his intimate feelings on display. And the spirit of gossip and rumour was only the tip of the iceberg. The spirits who had been waiting in the wings burst forth, alerted by Pheme's herald. The personification of each of the seven sins gathered, projecting a movie of damnation onto the cave walls. Starring Nico in the leading role, it featured his darkest thoughts and his most lurid daydreams.
In a mad fury, he raised a skeleton army that slashed its way through Camp Half-Blood, leaving every camper dead at his feet.
He sat on an obsidian throne before a fire that grew from a pile of bones-souls he had sacrificed on the pyre-while the spirit of Bianca rose from the earth. Her lips were stained with blood and she cursed him for calling her back this way.
His body and Will's entwined, their hands wandering in a way that made Nico's cheeks burn with the knowledge that everyone could see this, too. And then the Will in the picture pushed him away and melted into a crowd of faces that were all contorted in identical disgust.
Nico wanted to curl into a ball and block everything out.
More spirits joined the fray: Apate, goddess of deceit, catalogued every lie he'd ever told-who could ever trust you after that? Momus, god of mockery, started up a litany of criticism against him-creepy, antisocial, a freak of nature. Oizys, goddess of depression, prophesied a hopeless future for him.
You're despicable. Worthless. Unlovable. You will always be alone, Nico di Angelo.
How many times had he hidden himself away, believing those very words? Even before he'd ever encountered Oizys and the others, loneliness had practically been part of his identity-Nico di Angelo, the different one, the rejected one. It had been all too easy for the spirits of Night to turn his mind to despair. He'd already been halfway there.
'He's not alone!' Will's voice was weak and shaky, but it pierced the cloak of anguish that Oizys drew over Nico.
Something stirred in Nico's memory.
'That's the problem with you,' Will scolded. 'You leave because you believe everyone is gonna reject you, even if they haven't. Maybe if you stayed, you'd find out that you're not alone.'
His eyes flew open.
'Nico, you were never alone. You-'
Will was cut off by a harsh whisper, although this one was softer, and Nico didn't understand the accusation: 'You flit from one handsome boy to another. Who can trust your pretty words when you speak them to everyone?'
Will made a choking noise and raised his hands to cover his ears. Nico understood then: it was Will the spirits were targeting. And maybe it was true, to some extent-his boyfriend was annoyingly prone to 'appreciating the scenery'-but Nico was surprised that Will secretly despised his own flirtatious nature. Not when it was essentially harmless-when it was so obvious that at his core lay a loyal heart.
Nico's eyes and ears were now open to all the painful secrets that were playing on the caves' cinema of shame. Percy and Annabeth in a violent fight. Thalia wrapped around a certain Roman ex-Praetor. Will ran the tip of a scalpel down his arm, not even flinching as blood blossomed on his light skin. Whether the images were real or imagined, Nico wasn't sure. It didn't matter-they were devised to strike where it cut the deepest.
And just as he'd been overwhelmed by the intensity of his own shame, his friends were each stuck in the quagmire of theirs.
Confronted with the image of himself standing on a blood-soaked battlefield strewn with mutilated bodies, Will trembled even harder than Nico had when he'd emerged from his spider prison. Percy stared in horror at a picture of himself at the vortex of a hurricane that consumed the world. Tears ran down Annabeth's face as she watched herself fall from a glittering masterpiece of a monument, dragging her friends with her as she tumbled from the spires towards a pit of fire. Thalia's fingernails dug into her cheeks at the sight of a car smashing into a tree, the driver-who had spiky black hair like hers-slumped against the steering wheel with blood trickling down her face.
Playing across this was a soundtrack of assassinations. Oizys called Will a coward and a weakling. Momus mocked Annabeth's ambitions. Pheme teased Thalia about her forbidden crush.
'I'm not alone,' Nico whispered. And he wasn't. They all had things to be ashamed of. They all had parts of themselves they wanted to bury where they would never see daylight-in the Caves of Night.
And watching some of his friends' twisted nightmares brought to life, he realised many of those things weren't unique to him after all.
'Nico, friend!' Bob urged. 'You must keep moving.'
Bob held his broom in front of him, crossed with Damasen's large stick to form an 'X' that kept the spirits physically at bay, like they'd promised. The sabre-tooth tiger prowled at Bob's heels, baring its teeth and snapping whenever a spirit got too close. But as Damasen had warned, they could not ward away the dark emotions the spirits had unleashed. Nor could they carry the demigods through the cave.
They had to pull themselves out of this.
'Will.' Nico placed his hands firmly on his boyfriend's shoulder. 'Remember how you ran into a Roman camp-into a whole freaking legion trained for war-with only two kids as back-up? That took guts.'
'I-'
'I don't care if you appreciate a decent hottie. Maybe you can even tell me who you find cute at Camp Jupiter and we'll compare notes when we get out of here. But we have to get out first. So snap out of it.'
Will raised his head. Tears clung to his eyelashes. Nico wanted to kiss them away. Instead, he lifted Will's arm and pressed his lips to the scar that ran from his elbow to his wrist-a scar Nico had always assumed he'd sustained in battle. 'We're gonna talk about this,' he said, wanting to reassure Will that he knew its true origin now, but wasn't condemning him for it, 'and it's gonna be okay.'
'I think that's my line,' Will said. It was a weak attempt at a joke and the laugh that accompanied it was thin and forced. Still, it was there. Will grimaced at the images still playing on the cave walls. 'I told you you weren't alone.'
'You were right.'
Will went to help Annabeth, who was curled up in a ball of misery. Nico moved on to Thalia.
Her eyes were fixed on a parade of people Apate accused her of abandoning-You led them to believe you cared, and what did you do?-while Pheme cackled for everyone to hear, You've been fantasising about a girl, an outsider, haven't you? Just wait till this gets back to your Hunters! Oizys foretold misery in her dolorous voice: It will never work; no one shall heal your immortal heart.
Nico wasn't sure where to start. It wasn't like he knew Thalia all that well.
He did know Reyna, though, and he was reasonably sure that was who Thalia secretly liked. He decided to start there.
'I got to know Reyna a lot when we were travelling together. I think you'd match, like Percy and Annabeth do. You guys could work.'
Thalia glowered at Nico. 'You don't know anything,' she snapped. 'Butt out! I don't need advice on my love life. Which I don't have.'
Her rebuttal sounded extremely familiar. Nico wondered where he'd come across the sentiment before. Then he remembered.
Diocletian's Palace.
Nico had pushed Jason's acceptance away when he'd first offered it. When you were convinced that something you felt was wrong, it was hard to believe that someone else might be willing to embrace it.
'Did you know your brother was the first person I came out to?' Well, he'd actually been forced to come out to Jason by a bully of a love god, but that wasn't really the point now. 'He was really decent about it. He let me decide when I wanted to tell anyone else. Even told me I was brave, though I sure as Hades didn't think so. We didn't talk about it, but having him know my secret and not judge it-I started thinking maybe it'd be okay to tell people after that.'
'Jason's a good kid,' Thalia said. Her eyes darted back to the cave wall. A blond two-year-old with electric blue eyes-the only feature the Grace siblings shared-reached out for her as she walked away. 'I left him behind. I thought he was dead, but I shouldn't have believed my mom. I should have found him. I left her behind, too. I left so many people.' She turned back to Nico. 'I left Bianca in the junkyard of the gods.'
Nico swallowed hard. 'Maybe you did, but that wasn't your fault. And Bianca-she didn't blame you.'
Thalia was silent. Nico didn't know if he had gotten through to her, but at least she was no longer clawing at her cheeks. Meanwhile, Will had spoken to Annabeth and together, they had lifted Percy out of his nightmares.
'We need to keep moving,' Nico said to all of them.
Slowly, painfully, they did. The taunting of the spirits didn't get any easier to bear, but Nico urged the others on every time they flagged, beaten down by the whispers and visions. Damasen led them along a wet and boggy path that ran uphill, such that they were practically crawling away from the spirits that trailed behind them.
Finally, they entered a wide cavern that was covered in swampy marshland and lit by a bright blue flame on a central altar. The spirits hissed and fled back down the path they'd come. For the first time since entering the Caves of Night, everything was blissfully silent.
'Are we-out?' Annabeth's voice was thick with exhaustion.
Bob shook his head. 'Not yet. But this is a rest stop.'
'The shrine of Eleos,' Damasen announced. 'Goddess of compassion.'
The puddles beneath their feet stung when they splashed through. Nico could tell from the faint, woeful hum that the marsh was fed by the River of Acheron, but the waters that pooled here sounded more remorseful than tormented.
The shrine sat on a circle of hard rock, rising several inches above the marsh. Behind the altar was a temple with an entrance so low that Nico, who was the smallest of the group, would have to crouch to enter it.
'Is the goddess here?' Will asked as they approached. 'Should we, um, make a sacrifice?'
'She won't appear,' said a soft voice. A tiny girl dressed in peacock blue emerged from the temple. A thin veil obscured her face. 'She has rarely stirred since the days of Athens.' The girl placed her palm on the altar. 'The world is somewhat lacking in compassion these days.'
'Is that why her shrine fell to Tartarus?' Thalia asked. Maybe she was thinking of Geras, ousted and banished when old age became reviled.
'It has always been here,' Damasen said. 'Eleos is a child of Nyx. A disappointment, rather like myself. I chose peace instead of war. She gives respite to the weary instead of suffering.'
'Yes,' said the girl in blue. 'I am her attendant. Eons ago, I was brought here on the Acheron. I have tended the shrine ever since.' She inclined her head towards Nico. 'Do you remember me, Nico di Angelo?'
'Er, no. Sorry. I don't think I've been here before.'
'No,' sighed the girl. 'No, you have not. But I touched your mind. I gave you peace.'
With her palms facing up, she spread her fingers towards the cavern ceiling. A sprinkle of water fell out of nowhere. Tiny droplets landed on their heads, as cool and refreshing as summer rain.
Nico remembered then the same touch during his first, despairing crawl through the Caves of Night. A brief respite, not enough to undo the damage of the spirits, but just enough to hold his mind together. It was a baptism of mercy, descending when he had needed it most.
This was the true nepenthe, a more powerful restorative than any potion they could ever manage to brew.
This girl had given it to him and he hadn't even known.
'Why?' he asked her. 'Why did you help me?'
'Perhaps because I, too, am a child of the Underworld. Perhaps as a child with two fathers, I empathised with your pain. Or perhaps it was because we share a name.'
She lifted her veil.
Her eyes burned with the same bright blue flame that lit the altar. In their flicker, Nico could sense the mark of their father-a half-crazed spark that hinted at wild ideas and intense emotion. 'I am the daemon Angelos.'
'Wait,' said Percy, scratching his head. 'What do you mean two fathers?'
Annabeth elbowed him. 'Isn't it obvious?'
'Well, yeah, I get that she's got two dads. I was just wondering, if Hades is one of them, who's the other?'
Nico nearly rolled his eyes-Percy's blunt nature became less appealing the older Nico got-but he found he was actually curious about the answer. He knew by now that the gods weren't as straight-laced as the 1930s society in which he'd grown up (or even certain communities in the twenty-first century), but he'd never suspected his father of having a fluid sexual orientation. Apollo, sure-there couldn't be any immortal more flamboyantly bi than Will's dad. Hades, on the other hand, always struck Nico as old-fashioned, both in his tastes and his morals.
Then again, if ancient Greece had accepted alternative sexuality, that would make the attitudes of the current millennia new rather than old.
'Hermes,' Angelos said carelessly, ignoring the stunned expressions around her. 'I have also been called Angelia-daemon of messages and tidings. It's been a while since I've had anyone to proclaim to, though. And on that note-hang on for a second.'
She disappeared into her temple and came back out with a bowl in one hand and a looking glass in the other. She placed the bowl on the altar and motioned for them to gather around her.
'Your friends on the surface await you,' she said, pointing into the mirror. The reflective glass shimmered and resolved into a pretty, tanned face with kaleidoscope eyes.
'Piper!' said Annabeth.
'Annabeth?' Oh my gods, you can hear me? Are you okay? Is everyone there? No, wait, I can see them, too-what's happening?'
'We're fine-well, maybe not fine, we're still in Tartarus, but we're all here and we're alive, and we're headed for-'
The serious, square jaw of Jason Grace pushed into the frame. 'Is everyone okay? Did you save Percy?'
'Hey bro,' said Percy.
'Thank the gods-wait, you remember me?'
'I even remember our last bet about where Nico would spend the year. You owe me fifty bucks, dude.'
'Excuse me?' Nico interrupted.
'Damn, if there was one good thing about you losing your memory-'
Annabeth cleared her throat. 'Can we talk about how we're getting out of here first?'
A sheepish grin spread across Jason's face. 'I'll go get the others,' he said. He disappeared, but they could hear him shouting, 'Guys! Piper's got Percy and the others in her dagger!'
'The others,' huffed Thalia. 'Good to see you, too, little bro.'
'We've found Thanatos,' Piper said. 'Leo and Reyna got us transport and we're on our way. We'll get the Doors of Death to you by tomorrow, we promise!'
'That's good,' Annabeth said. 'We're headed to the heart-well, where we're pretty sure the Doors will show up, anyway.'
'So, say, twenty-four hours?'
Annabeth looked at Bob. 'Can we do it?'
'Time is difficult in Tartarus,' Bob admitted. 'But I think yes.'
'Twenty-four hours,' Annabeth told Piper.
'I'll keep looking in Katoptris, anyway,' Piper said. 'It's been showing me-well, I was really worried for a while. But it's so good to see that you're okay. I really-'
Her image froze like a bad FaceTime connection. The mirror went black. Angelos tapped at it, then shrugged. 'I may have forgotten to charge it. Like I said, it's been a while.'
'It's fine,' Annabeth said. 'We know we have twenty-four hours to get to the heart of Tartarus.'
Angelos considered this. 'You are close,' she said. 'Do not rush to your destination. More challenges await you. You will need to rest to face them. For a sacrifice, you may rest here at the shrine.'
'What sort of sacrifice?' Percy asked warily.
'Cloth and hair, Angelos said. She smiled at the surprise on their faces. 'It is how Eleos has always been honoured.'
She indicated the bowl she had laid upon the altar. Nico, Percy, and Annabeth drew their swords. They each sliced off a section of their hair, along with some cloth from their shirt sleeves. Angelos emptied their offerings into the blue flame, which shone white for a few seconds. Another light sprinkle of cleansing rain showered down, returning the fire to its original blue.
'Eleos accepts your offering,' Angelos announced. Five sleeping bags popped out of the swamp. They were only standard-issue camping gear, but right now they looked as inviting as a luxury hotel bed.
Angelos looked apologetically at Bob and Damasen. 'I'm afraid we aren't set up for Titans and such.'
Damasen shrugged. 'We will keep watch,' he said.
'I will leave you to your rest,' Angelos said. 'But first, I shall bear you each a tiding.'
She turned first to Bob and Damasen. 'When it comes to a choice between choosing who you are and letting the world dictate your identity, remember that archetypes may survive indefinitely, but immortality has its drawbacks.'
Angelos looked at Thalia next. 'Moving on is not the same as leaving someone behind. If you do not wish to remain motionless, you must accept what is in your heart.'
'What's that supposed to mean?' Thalia demanded.
'I bear the messages,' Angelos said impassively. 'I do not interpret them. That's up to you.'
She inclined her head towards Annabeth. 'Many a prophecy has hinged upon you. Now your ingenuity will be called upon yet again. It will be up to you to ensure the pattern no longer repeats.'
Annabeth's eyes widened. Percy's hand tightened around hers.
'And you have changed much in your time here,' Angelos continued, addressing Percy. 'It has shaped you, and you will shape the journey-what you have been seeking will be at the heart of it.'
From the blank look on his face, this was as much a mystery to Percy as it was to Nico.
To Will, Angelos said, 'The light shines brighter when it emerges from darkness. Do not be afraid to embrace the darkness within you.'
Finally, she held Nico's gaze. 'Your struggles are a gift. You understand compassion because you understand pain. Don't bury it away again, little brother.'
Angelos looked nothing like his sister, but at that moment it was Bianca's ghostly face he saw, shining with fierce, determined pride.
Don't hide from the world, little brother. Live. Make me proud.
It had taken him a long time to internalise Bianca's parting words. Even now he wasn't sure he'd managed to live as she'd asked him to.
Percy, Annabeth, and Thalia settled into their sleeping bags and fell asleep right away. Nico thought of the charge Angelos had laid on him. He remembered the promise he'd made just hours ago. He didn't know if this was the most appropriate time to keep it, but he decided to try anyway.
'Hey,' Will said when Nico pulled his sleeping bag over to him. 'Some trek, huh?'
Nico ran a finger along the scar on Will's arm. 'Do you want to tell me about it?'
Will stiffened. When he spoke, it was in a careful, brittle tone so unlike his usual sunny self. 'I wasn't trying to kill myself or anything, if that's what you're thinking.'
'I wasn't thinking that.'
'Just after the Battle of the Labyrinth-do you remember that? Well, it was the first time I'd ever seen so much death. All those friends I couldn't save…we buried them and we were supposed to go back to our regular activities after that. I was supposed to help everyone go back to normal.' Will started slowly, but now the words came spilling out in a babbling rush. 'Apollo cabin always leads the singalong, you know. And we'd just lost our head counsellor in the battle. I, um, had a bit of a crush on him. I was alone in the infirmary, and I-well, I don't even remember what I was thinking. Maybe I wanted to stop thinking about it. Or I just needed to feel something other than sad. The scalpel was just there.' Will hung his head. 'It was stupid, I know.'
'It's not stupid.' Nico took a deep breath. 'I never told anyone this, but… I used to take pomegranate seeds and go into a death trance just to get away from my memories of Tartarus.'
'I can understand that. Especially now.' Will gave a shaky laugh. 'I'm an idiot, Nico. I actually thought coming back down here would help you. I thought you needed to face it again. I guess I did it again-and this time I ended up cutting us both because I thought it would help.' He traced his scar sadly. 'I tried to force you to deal with thing my way. I'm sorry.'
'No, it's not the same. Facing Tartarus isn't like hurting yourself. I think-I think the reason why Tartarus is so awful is because it's made of our own darkness. Like-gods, I don't know how to explain this properly. I always zone out when Chiron talks about it.'
'Like how the gods are part of the collective unconscious?' Will suggested. 'They embody what we believe.'
'Exactly. It's all the worst stuff we believe about ourselves.'
'I don't know how anyone wouldn't go crazy confronting that,' Will mused.
'Unless they knew they weren't the only ones with problems.' Nico twisted the skull ring on his finger. 'I wish I'd known you had stuff you couldn't talk about, too.'
'I didn't tell you before because-well, you've got so much sadness already. I didn't want to add to it. I didn't think anyone would ever find out.
'And I didn't tell you about the pomegranate seeds because I didn't want you to worry.'
Their eyes met and they started to laugh.
'I guess we should've depended on each other more,' Will said.
'If I've learned anything from passing through the Caves of Night twice, it's that it's easier to be strong for someone else than for yourself.'
Will touched his cheek. 'You are incredibly strong, Nico di Angelo.'
Nico kissed him. 'We can be strong together.'
Nico imagined the goddess Eleos drawing a gentle blanket of mercy over them while Angelos tucked them into a bed of compassion. With his head nestled against his boyfriend's shoulder, he finally fell asleep.
Chapter 15
Author: shiiki
Rating: R
Characters/Pairings: Percy Jackson/Annabeth Chase, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Thalia Grace/Reyna Ramírez-Arellano + a full cast of supporting characters
Fandom: Percy Jackson
Summary: Percy and Annabeth intended to retire and spend a quiet four years at college in New Rome. However, old enemies have other ideas, and one very determined attack leaves Percy poisoned and fighting for his life and Annabeth facing the difficult decision of giving him the only cure: water from the Lethe…and dealing with the heartbreaking side-effects. There is hope, though, but will Percy, Annabeth, and their friends have the courage to brave Tartarus again to retrieve Percy's memories from the edge of Chaos?
In this chapter
Rating: R
Characters: Nico di Angelo, Will Solace, Annabeth Chase, Percy Jackson, Thalia Grace, Bob, Damasen, Piper McLean, Jason Grace, various deities from Greek mythology
Word Count: 5,812
Chapter Summary: The alternate route through Tartarus is more treacherous than the original.
Notes: This chapter is rated R for references to self-harm and allusions to mental illness and post-traumatic stress. Although the details are not explicit, I would still like to stress that if any of these issues are triggers for you, it might be better to skip this chapter!
I went all out with the spirits in this chapter. I figured, why not make use of the insanely many that Greek mythology has to offer? Of course, I embellished a lot, but hey, RR gave us a great example of how to make up stories for the Greek myths, right? You can read more about each of them here:
The unnamed cymbal-hand girl who guards the Caves of Night; Pheme; Apate; Momus; ; Eleos; Angelos (who incidentally is recorded as Zeus and Hera’s daughter-but hated by Hera, but also called Angelia, who is named as a daughter of Hermes … I think you can probably understand why I integrated both myths!)
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XIV
NICO
Nico couldn't stop shivering.
He'd always avoided small spaces since he'd been trapped in Otis and Ephialtes' bronze jar, and Arachne's spider silk prison was a considerably tighter fit than the jar. Even after he was freed, he couldn't shake off the claustrophobic way the fibres had closed in on him, wrapping him progressively tighter in their iron grip.
And then there were their new companions. Percy and Annabeth were clearly overjoyed at Bob and Damasen's appearance. Nico knew he should be, too-Bob had been a long-time friend, one of the few he'd had in those lonely years between losing Bianca and finding Hazel-but the 'welcome back' he offered the Titan tasted like bile in his mouth.
Twice, now, Bob had come when someone had needed him. But why had he never come for Nico?
'Nico, friend,' Bob said in his rumbling voice, 'you are not good?'
'I'm fine.' Nico pushed the bitterness down. Stop being petty, he told himself.
Oh, but you always knew how to bear even the most trifling grudges! How many people have you blamed for things they couldn't control? The wailing souls in the Acheron gleefully supplied him with examples of all the times he'd lashed out with anger. At Percy. At Annabeth. At Jason. The list went on. Your heart is full of hatred. You're no better than us.
Shut up, Nico told them silently.
Will looked at him sharply. Obviously he didn't believe for a second Nico was fine, but he didn't push it.
'How did you and Damasen make it out of Chaos?' Annabeth asked. 'We hoped you would, but we didn't really know if it was actually possible.'
'Hm,' said Bob. He scratched his scruffy silver beard. 'Stars called our names.'
Damasen held out a twisted bundle of rope wound with a few silver arrows: the lines they'd left dangling into the pit of Chaos after pulling Percy and Annabeth up.
'You called for us in the dark of Night, Annabeth Chase,' he said. 'You called us back to who we were. Who we chose to be.'
'We chose us,' Bob said.
'You chose your own fate,' Annabeth translated.
'When we chose to fight by your side, it gave us an identity that was foreign to Tartarus. It gave us an identity to hold on to even in Chaos.'
Bob nodded. 'Tartarus could not collect our souls for his armour after all.'
Annabeth looked like there was more she wanted to ask about this, but she just said, 'Will you come with us now, then?'
'You picked a dangerous path, demigods,' Damasen said solemnly. 'The Caves of Night are not meant to be traversed by mortals.'
'We didn't have a choice,' Thalia said. 'And we're stronger than you think.'
'Perhaps. But what lies in these caves are not things that can be defeated by physical strength alone.' His eyes fell on Nico. 'I think you know this, young son of Hades.'
Nico looked away.
'Do you know another way, then?' Annabeth said hopefully. 'We have to get to the heart of Tartarus. The sooner the better.'
Bob and Damasen looked at each other.
'Caves are fastest,' Bob said. 'But full of spirits. They do not disturb Titans. I do not know if your minds can withstand it.'
'I've made it past them,' Nico said. 'Mimas brought me through these caves.'
Six pairs of eyes fixed on him curiously. Nico wanted to sink back into the shadows. He'd never spoken of this before. Not to Reyna, not to Will, not even to Hazel, to whom he'd outlined the essentials of his experience right after he'd gotten out of Tartarus the previous time.
No one knew how he'd been tricked by the crafty giant Mimas into thinking he'd found the Doors, only to tumble down a black chute, straight into the bowels of Tartarus. Or how Mimas and his band of gigantes had bound him and marched him through these caves before handing him over to the twin giants and their bronze jar.
He'd managed for years to suppress the visions that the cruel deities in the Caves of Night had presented him. But now he was back on the doorstep of those spirits, with the nightmares so close, they took no effort to recall.
'The spawn of Nyx make their homes in these caves,' Nico explained. 'We've only scratched the surface of it. She birthed all the primordial spirits that personify the darkest evils. Pandora's pithos, the jar that released those evils into the world-it was filled here.'
'Just more demons to fight, then,' Thalia said.
Nico wanted to smack the confidence off her freckled face. 'You don't understand,' he said flatly. 'They make you see-see things.'
They weren't things he could find words for. How could he possibly explain how the spirits of Nyx had turned him inside out and put his innermost feelings shamefully on display?
Once, he'd hoped that he could have shared his story with Percy and Annabeth. Then he'd realised their experience was different. No one who had never encountered the Caves of Night could possibly understand how it felt to come through them. They way they shattered you into a million pieces of your own shame.
You will always be alone, Nico di Angelo. Who would ever love you?
He remembered begging for mercy while Mimas howled with glee. In the end, Otis and Ephialtes hadn't needed to stuff him in the bronze jar. He'd crawled in by himself, broken and desperate to escape the horrors. The soundproof jar had given him a brief respite from Mimas's horror show, before he'd realised that in his weakness, he'd been enticed into another trap.
He'd never admitted it to anyone, but he hadn't turned to his pomegranate seeds as a ploy to survive. By the time he'd remembered he had them, he'd simply been grateful for the escape the death trance allowed him, even if it was into a mindless coma.
None of the other demigods on the Argo had even suspected during his time with them that he'd used the seeds occasionally to forget. To meditate until he was completely numb to his feelings. They'd barely noticed when he'd holed himself up, silent and still.
A hand fell on his shoulder. Expecting Will and not wanting his pity, he tried to shrug it away. But Annabeth's grip was firm.
'I remember Mimas. How he plays on your emotions,' she said. 'It's awful. I hated it, too. But he's not here now. And you are. You were strong enough to survive it once, and that's why you knew you could get us through again. You led us this far, Nico. We trust you. And we're in this together.'
You will always be alone.
Nico shook the voice out of his head again. He put his hand on top of Annabeth's. She smiled and squeezed his shoulder once, then let go.
'We will help to keep the spirits from attacking physically,' Damasen said. 'But their powers are beyond our control. Many have been driven mad by what they show-even the lesser monsters dare not venture here.'
'Take them spirally,' Bob suggested.
Damasen's rust-coloured eyes blinked slowly. 'Yes, that is a possibility.'
'Where are we going?' Annabeth asked. 'Will it still get us to the heart of Tartarus?'
'A small detour,' Bob promised. 'A rest stop.'
'With luck,' Damasen added, 'it will give some peace after…'
'Rest stop sounds good,' said Percy.
With Bob and Damasen in the lead, they plunged forward into the red-tinged darkness of the caves. The Acheron followed them at first, in a crescendo of wailing souls that soon reached a frenetic pitch of agony.
Suffer with us, Nico di Angelo! they screamed in his mind. Why should you escape punishment for your crimes?
Bianca sizzled up in a storm of electricity, clutching the tiny figurine of their father. Percy and Annabeth slipped from his hand and fell away into endless darkness. Bryce Lawrence faded into black obscurity. Octavian exploded in a firestorm.
Nico gritted his teeth until the insistent cries of 'Your fault! All your fault!' finally dulled to an accusing murmur when their path split from the river. The others wore varied expressions of relief at the reprieve, but Nico knew the Acheron's torments were child's play compared to what lay ahead of them.
They didn't have to wait long. A loud clang greeted them at an otherwise innocuous junction. Sprouting from an outcrop of rock was the upper body of a girl with ashen skin and cymbals in place of hands. Her hair grew in two plaited bundles that ended in thick, grey bobs. These beat against the cave walls in time with her clashing cymbal hands to create a booming rhythm that reverberated through Nico's whole body.
Her lips stretched into a wicked smile. Although she didn't speak, a dull whisper rose out of the darkness: 'What have we here?'
The last word echoed down the tunnels like a doorbell alerting the cave dwellers to their arrival. As it grew louder, the speaker fluttered down from the ceiling. She landed in front of Nico, her bat wings curving back around a golden trumpet that hung over her shoulder.
'I thought I heard visitors,' she hissed. Across her body, dozens of wagging tongues took up the chant: Visitors, visitors, VISITORS. Purple eyes dotted her feathery skin, running along her arms and torso. She had more ears than Nico could count: at least three pairs on her head alone, and more sprouting from her sides.
'All the better to hear you with,' one of her tongues told Nico.
Bob stepped in front of her. 'They're with us, Pheme,' he said.
Pheme laughed. 'I don't touch, Titan. I merely spread the news-all the news.' Her mouth curved viciously. 'And my siblings don't need to touch your…friends-' the word dripped with innuendo-'to devour them.'
'Keep moving,' Damasen ordered. 'Pheme spreads hearsay-her words travel like wildfire. The others will descend shortly. Bob and I will guard you, but we cannot carry you through if you stop.'
Passing Pheme was like walking through a high school hallway under the judgemental eyes of the entire student body. Gossip spewed from her numerous tongues, a flurry of speculation and recrimination.
That's the new kid. The weird one with the foreign accent.
He's not one of us.
The rumours grew more pointed, turning into barbed accusations about his personal life. It was just as Nico remembered from his first passage through this place-his secrets tossed around and dissected in persistent whispers that grew louder by the second.
I heard he's got a crush on a boy.
I heard it was Percy Jackson-like he'd ever have a chance! Jackson's no poof.
Did you hear what he got up to with that Solace kid? Bloody fag.
It had been bad enough the first time, with Pheme whispering his own shameful feelings into his ears. Now his old fears about coming out were on display again, only this time four other people-six if you counted Bob and Damasen-were privy to them, too. Even though it was no longer a big secret that he was gay, the torments he had endured while coming to terms with it were his. It was just like when Eros had laid him bare before Jason, forcing confessions from him that he hadn't been ready to give.
Even if his friends accepted him, it didn't mean he was comfortable having his intimate feelings on display. And the spirit of gossip and rumour was only the tip of the iceberg. The spirits who had been waiting in the wings burst forth, alerted by Pheme's herald. The personification of each of the seven sins gathered, projecting a movie of damnation onto the cave walls. Starring Nico in the leading role, it featured his darkest thoughts and his most lurid daydreams.
In a mad fury, he raised a skeleton army that slashed its way through Camp Half-Blood, leaving every camper dead at his feet.
He sat on an obsidian throne before a fire that grew from a pile of bones-souls he had sacrificed on the pyre-while the spirit of Bianca rose from the earth. Her lips were stained with blood and she cursed him for calling her back this way.
His body and Will's entwined, their hands wandering in a way that made Nico's cheeks burn with the knowledge that everyone could see this, too. And then the Will in the picture pushed him away and melted into a crowd of faces that were all contorted in identical disgust.
Nico wanted to curl into a ball and block everything out.
More spirits joined the fray: Apate, goddess of deceit, catalogued every lie he'd ever told-who could ever trust you after that? Momus, god of mockery, started up a litany of criticism against him-creepy, antisocial, a freak of nature. Oizys, goddess of depression, prophesied a hopeless future for him.
You're despicable. Worthless. Unlovable. You will always be alone, Nico di Angelo.
How many times had he hidden himself away, believing those very words? Even before he'd ever encountered Oizys and the others, loneliness had practically been part of his identity-Nico di Angelo, the different one, the rejected one. It had been all too easy for the spirits of Night to turn his mind to despair. He'd already been halfway there.
'He's not alone!' Will's voice was weak and shaky, but it pierced the cloak of anguish that Oizys drew over Nico.
Something stirred in Nico's memory.
'That's the problem with you,' Will scolded. 'You leave because you believe everyone is gonna reject you, even if they haven't. Maybe if you stayed, you'd find out that you're not alone.'
His eyes flew open.
'Nico, you were never alone. You-'
Will was cut off by a harsh whisper, although this one was softer, and Nico didn't understand the accusation: 'You flit from one handsome boy to another. Who can trust your pretty words when you speak them to everyone?'
Will made a choking noise and raised his hands to cover his ears. Nico understood then: it was Will the spirits were targeting. And maybe it was true, to some extent-his boyfriend was annoyingly prone to 'appreciating the scenery'-but Nico was surprised that Will secretly despised his own flirtatious nature. Not when it was essentially harmless-when it was so obvious that at his core lay a loyal heart.
Nico's eyes and ears were now open to all the painful secrets that were playing on the caves' cinema of shame. Percy and Annabeth in a violent fight. Thalia wrapped around a certain Roman ex-Praetor. Will ran the tip of a scalpel down his arm, not even flinching as blood blossomed on his light skin. Whether the images were real or imagined, Nico wasn't sure. It didn't matter-they were devised to strike where it cut the deepest.
And just as he'd been overwhelmed by the intensity of his own shame, his friends were each stuck in the quagmire of theirs.
Confronted with the image of himself standing on a blood-soaked battlefield strewn with mutilated bodies, Will trembled even harder than Nico had when he'd emerged from his spider prison. Percy stared in horror at a picture of himself at the vortex of a hurricane that consumed the world. Tears ran down Annabeth's face as she watched herself fall from a glittering masterpiece of a monument, dragging her friends with her as she tumbled from the spires towards a pit of fire. Thalia's fingernails dug into her cheeks at the sight of a car smashing into a tree, the driver-who had spiky black hair like hers-slumped against the steering wheel with blood trickling down her face.
Playing across this was a soundtrack of assassinations. Oizys called Will a coward and a weakling. Momus mocked Annabeth's ambitions. Pheme teased Thalia about her forbidden crush.
'I'm not alone,' Nico whispered. And he wasn't. They all had things to be ashamed of. They all had parts of themselves they wanted to bury where they would never see daylight-in the Caves of Night.
And watching some of his friends' twisted nightmares brought to life, he realised many of those things weren't unique to him after all.
'Nico, friend!' Bob urged. 'You must keep moving.'
Bob held his broom in front of him, crossed with Damasen's large stick to form an 'X' that kept the spirits physically at bay, like they'd promised. The sabre-tooth tiger prowled at Bob's heels, baring its teeth and snapping whenever a spirit got too close. But as Damasen had warned, they could not ward away the dark emotions the spirits had unleashed. Nor could they carry the demigods through the cave.
They had to pull themselves out of this.
'Will.' Nico placed his hands firmly on his boyfriend's shoulder. 'Remember how you ran into a Roman camp-into a whole freaking legion trained for war-with only two kids as back-up? That took guts.'
'I-'
'I don't care if you appreciate a decent hottie. Maybe you can even tell me who you find cute at Camp Jupiter and we'll compare notes when we get out of here. But we have to get out first. So snap out of it.'
Will raised his head. Tears clung to his eyelashes. Nico wanted to kiss them away. Instead, he lifted Will's arm and pressed his lips to the scar that ran from his elbow to his wrist-a scar Nico had always assumed he'd sustained in battle. 'We're gonna talk about this,' he said, wanting to reassure Will that he knew its true origin now, but wasn't condemning him for it, 'and it's gonna be okay.'
'I think that's my line,' Will said. It was a weak attempt at a joke and the laugh that accompanied it was thin and forced. Still, it was there. Will grimaced at the images still playing on the cave walls. 'I told you you weren't alone.'
'You were right.'
Will went to help Annabeth, who was curled up in a ball of misery. Nico moved on to Thalia.
Her eyes were fixed on a parade of people Apate accused her of abandoning-You led them to believe you cared, and what did you do?-while Pheme cackled for everyone to hear, You've been fantasising about a girl, an outsider, haven't you? Just wait till this gets back to your Hunters! Oizys foretold misery in her dolorous voice: It will never work; no one shall heal your immortal heart.
Nico wasn't sure where to start. It wasn't like he knew Thalia all that well.
He did know Reyna, though, and he was reasonably sure that was who Thalia secretly liked. He decided to start there.
'I got to know Reyna a lot when we were travelling together. I think you'd match, like Percy and Annabeth do. You guys could work.'
Thalia glowered at Nico. 'You don't know anything,' she snapped. 'Butt out! I don't need advice on my love life. Which I don't have.'
Her rebuttal sounded extremely familiar. Nico wondered where he'd come across the sentiment before. Then he remembered.
Diocletian's Palace.
Nico had pushed Jason's acceptance away when he'd first offered it. When you were convinced that something you felt was wrong, it was hard to believe that someone else might be willing to embrace it.
'Did you know your brother was the first person I came out to?' Well, he'd actually been forced to come out to Jason by a bully of a love god, but that wasn't really the point now. 'He was really decent about it. He let me decide when I wanted to tell anyone else. Even told me I was brave, though I sure as Hades didn't think so. We didn't talk about it, but having him know my secret and not judge it-I started thinking maybe it'd be okay to tell people after that.'
'Jason's a good kid,' Thalia said. Her eyes darted back to the cave wall. A blond two-year-old with electric blue eyes-the only feature the Grace siblings shared-reached out for her as she walked away. 'I left him behind. I thought he was dead, but I shouldn't have believed my mom. I should have found him. I left her behind, too. I left so many people.' She turned back to Nico. 'I left Bianca in the junkyard of the gods.'
Nico swallowed hard. 'Maybe you did, but that wasn't your fault. And Bianca-she didn't blame you.'
Thalia was silent. Nico didn't know if he had gotten through to her, but at least she was no longer clawing at her cheeks. Meanwhile, Will had spoken to Annabeth and together, they had lifted Percy out of his nightmares.
'We need to keep moving,' Nico said to all of them.
Slowly, painfully, they did. The taunting of the spirits didn't get any easier to bear, but Nico urged the others on every time they flagged, beaten down by the whispers and visions. Damasen led them along a wet and boggy path that ran uphill, such that they were practically crawling away from the spirits that trailed behind them.
Finally, they entered a wide cavern that was covered in swampy marshland and lit by a bright blue flame on a central altar. The spirits hissed and fled back down the path they'd come. For the first time since entering the Caves of Night, everything was blissfully silent.
'Are we-out?' Annabeth's voice was thick with exhaustion.
Bob shook his head. 'Not yet. But this is a rest stop.'
'The shrine of Eleos,' Damasen announced. 'Goddess of compassion.'
The puddles beneath their feet stung when they splashed through. Nico could tell from the faint, woeful hum that the marsh was fed by the River of Acheron, but the waters that pooled here sounded more remorseful than tormented.
The shrine sat on a circle of hard rock, rising several inches above the marsh. Behind the altar was a temple with an entrance so low that Nico, who was the smallest of the group, would have to crouch to enter it.
'Is the goddess here?' Will asked as they approached. 'Should we, um, make a sacrifice?'
'She won't appear,' said a soft voice. A tiny girl dressed in peacock blue emerged from the temple. A thin veil obscured her face. 'She has rarely stirred since the days of Athens.' The girl placed her palm on the altar. 'The world is somewhat lacking in compassion these days.'
'Is that why her shrine fell to Tartarus?' Thalia asked. Maybe she was thinking of Geras, ousted and banished when old age became reviled.
'It has always been here,' Damasen said. 'Eleos is a child of Nyx. A disappointment, rather like myself. I chose peace instead of war. She gives respite to the weary instead of suffering.'
'Yes,' said the girl in blue. 'I am her attendant. Eons ago, I was brought here on the Acheron. I have tended the shrine ever since.' She inclined her head towards Nico. 'Do you remember me, Nico di Angelo?'
'Er, no. Sorry. I don't think I've been here before.'
'No,' sighed the girl. 'No, you have not. But I touched your mind. I gave you peace.'
With her palms facing up, she spread her fingers towards the cavern ceiling. A sprinkle of water fell out of nowhere. Tiny droplets landed on their heads, as cool and refreshing as summer rain.
Nico remembered then the same touch during his first, despairing crawl through the Caves of Night. A brief respite, not enough to undo the damage of the spirits, but just enough to hold his mind together. It was a baptism of mercy, descending when he had needed it most.
This was the true nepenthe, a more powerful restorative than any potion they could ever manage to brew.
This girl had given it to him and he hadn't even known.
'Why?' he asked her. 'Why did you help me?'
'Perhaps because I, too, am a child of the Underworld. Perhaps as a child with two fathers, I empathised with your pain. Or perhaps it was because we share a name.'
She lifted her veil.
Her eyes burned with the same bright blue flame that lit the altar. In their flicker, Nico could sense the mark of their father-a half-crazed spark that hinted at wild ideas and intense emotion. 'I am the daemon Angelos.'
'Wait,' said Percy, scratching his head. 'What do you mean two fathers?'
Annabeth elbowed him. 'Isn't it obvious?'
'Well, yeah, I get that she's got two dads. I was just wondering, if Hades is one of them, who's the other?'
Nico nearly rolled his eyes-Percy's blunt nature became less appealing the older Nico got-but he found he was actually curious about the answer. He knew by now that the gods weren't as straight-laced as the 1930s society in which he'd grown up (or even certain communities in the twenty-first century), but he'd never suspected his father of having a fluid sexual orientation. Apollo, sure-there couldn't be any immortal more flamboyantly bi than Will's dad. Hades, on the other hand, always struck Nico as old-fashioned, both in his tastes and his morals.
Then again, if ancient Greece had accepted alternative sexuality, that would make the attitudes of the current millennia new rather than old.
'Hermes,' Angelos said carelessly, ignoring the stunned expressions around her. 'I have also been called Angelia-daemon of messages and tidings. It's been a while since I've had anyone to proclaim to, though. And on that note-hang on for a second.'
She disappeared into her temple and came back out with a bowl in one hand and a looking glass in the other. She placed the bowl on the altar and motioned for them to gather around her.
'Your friends on the surface await you,' she said, pointing into the mirror. The reflective glass shimmered and resolved into a pretty, tanned face with kaleidoscope eyes.
'Piper!' said Annabeth.
'Annabeth?' Oh my gods, you can hear me? Are you okay? Is everyone there? No, wait, I can see them, too-what's happening?'
'We're fine-well, maybe not fine, we're still in Tartarus, but we're all here and we're alive, and we're headed for-'
The serious, square jaw of Jason Grace pushed into the frame. 'Is everyone okay? Did you save Percy?'
'Hey bro,' said Percy.
'Thank the gods-wait, you remember me?'
'I even remember our last bet about where Nico would spend the year. You owe me fifty bucks, dude.'
'Excuse me?' Nico interrupted.
'Damn, if there was one good thing about you losing your memory-'
Annabeth cleared her throat. 'Can we talk about how we're getting out of here first?'
A sheepish grin spread across Jason's face. 'I'll go get the others,' he said. He disappeared, but they could hear him shouting, 'Guys! Piper's got Percy and the others in her dagger!'
'The others,' huffed Thalia. 'Good to see you, too, little bro.'
'We've found Thanatos,' Piper said. 'Leo and Reyna got us transport and we're on our way. We'll get the Doors of Death to you by tomorrow, we promise!'
'That's good,' Annabeth said. 'We're headed to the heart-well, where we're pretty sure the Doors will show up, anyway.'
'So, say, twenty-four hours?'
Annabeth looked at Bob. 'Can we do it?'
'Time is difficult in Tartarus,' Bob admitted. 'But I think yes.'
'Twenty-four hours,' Annabeth told Piper.
'I'll keep looking in Katoptris, anyway,' Piper said. 'It's been showing me-well, I was really worried for a while. But it's so good to see that you're okay. I really-'
Her image froze like a bad FaceTime connection. The mirror went black. Angelos tapped at it, then shrugged. 'I may have forgotten to charge it. Like I said, it's been a while.'
'It's fine,' Annabeth said. 'We know we have twenty-four hours to get to the heart of Tartarus.'
Angelos considered this. 'You are close,' she said. 'Do not rush to your destination. More challenges await you. You will need to rest to face them. For a sacrifice, you may rest here at the shrine.'
'What sort of sacrifice?' Percy asked warily.
'Cloth and hair, Angelos said. She smiled at the surprise on their faces. 'It is how Eleos has always been honoured.'
She indicated the bowl she had laid upon the altar. Nico, Percy, and Annabeth drew their swords. They each sliced off a section of their hair, along with some cloth from their shirt sleeves. Angelos emptied their offerings into the blue flame, which shone white for a few seconds. Another light sprinkle of cleansing rain showered down, returning the fire to its original blue.
'Eleos accepts your offering,' Angelos announced. Five sleeping bags popped out of the swamp. They were only standard-issue camping gear, but right now they looked as inviting as a luxury hotel bed.
Angelos looked apologetically at Bob and Damasen. 'I'm afraid we aren't set up for Titans and such.'
Damasen shrugged. 'We will keep watch,' he said.
'I will leave you to your rest,' Angelos said. 'But first, I shall bear you each a tiding.'
She turned first to Bob and Damasen. 'When it comes to a choice between choosing who you are and letting the world dictate your identity, remember that archetypes may survive indefinitely, but immortality has its drawbacks.'
Angelos looked at Thalia next. 'Moving on is not the same as leaving someone behind. If you do not wish to remain motionless, you must accept what is in your heart.'
'What's that supposed to mean?' Thalia demanded.
'I bear the messages,' Angelos said impassively. 'I do not interpret them. That's up to you.'
She inclined her head towards Annabeth. 'Many a prophecy has hinged upon you. Now your ingenuity will be called upon yet again. It will be up to you to ensure the pattern no longer repeats.'
Annabeth's eyes widened. Percy's hand tightened around hers.
'And you have changed much in your time here,' Angelos continued, addressing Percy. 'It has shaped you, and you will shape the journey-what you have been seeking will be at the heart of it.'
From the blank look on his face, this was as much a mystery to Percy as it was to Nico.
To Will, Angelos said, 'The light shines brighter when it emerges from darkness. Do not be afraid to embrace the darkness within you.'
Finally, she held Nico's gaze. 'Your struggles are a gift. You understand compassion because you understand pain. Don't bury it away again, little brother.'
Angelos looked nothing like his sister, but at that moment it was Bianca's ghostly face he saw, shining with fierce, determined pride.
Don't hide from the world, little brother. Live. Make me proud.
It had taken him a long time to internalise Bianca's parting words. Even now he wasn't sure he'd managed to live as she'd asked him to.
Percy, Annabeth, and Thalia settled into their sleeping bags and fell asleep right away. Nico thought of the charge Angelos had laid on him. He remembered the promise he'd made just hours ago. He didn't know if this was the most appropriate time to keep it, but he decided to try anyway.
'Hey,' Will said when Nico pulled his sleeping bag over to him. 'Some trek, huh?'
Nico ran a finger along the scar on Will's arm. 'Do you want to tell me about it?'
Will stiffened. When he spoke, it was in a careful, brittle tone so unlike his usual sunny self. 'I wasn't trying to kill myself or anything, if that's what you're thinking.'
'I wasn't thinking that.'
'Just after the Battle of the Labyrinth-do you remember that? Well, it was the first time I'd ever seen so much death. All those friends I couldn't save…we buried them and we were supposed to go back to our regular activities after that. I was supposed to help everyone go back to normal.' Will started slowly, but now the words came spilling out in a babbling rush. 'Apollo cabin always leads the singalong, you know. And we'd just lost our head counsellor in the battle. I, um, had a bit of a crush on him. I was alone in the infirmary, and I-well, I don't even remember what I was thinking. Maybe I wanted to stop thinking about it. Or I just needed to feel something other than sad. The scalpel was just there.' Will hung his head. 'It was stupid, I know.'
'It's not stupid.' Nico took a deep breath. 'I never told anyone this, but… I used to take pomegranate seeds and go into a death trance just to get away from my memories of Tartarus.'
'I can understand that. Especially now.' Will gave a shaky laugh. 'I'm an idiot, Nico. I actually thought coming back down here would help you. I thought you needed to face it again. I guess I did it again-and this time I ended up cutting us both because I thought it would help.' He traced his scar sadly. 'I tried to force you to deal with thing my way. I'm sorry.'
'No, it's not the same. Facing Tartarus isn't like hurting yourself. I think-I think the reason why Tartarus is so awful is because it's made of our own darkness. Like-gods, I don't know how to explain this properly. I always zone out when Chiron talks about it.'
'Like how the gods are part of the collective unconscious?' Will suggested. 'They embody what we believe.'
'Exactly. It's all the worst stuff we believe about ourselves.'
'I don't know how anyone wouldn't go crazy confronting that,' Will mused.
'Unless they knew they weren't the only ones with problems.' Nico twisted the skull ring on his finger. 'I wish I'd known you had stuff you couldn't talk about, too.'
'I didn't tell you before because-well, you've got so much sadness already. I didn't want to add to it. I didn't think anyone would ever find out.
'And I didn't tell you about the pomegranate seeds because I didn't want you to worry.'
Their eyes met and they started to laugh.
'I guess we should've depended on each other more,' Will said.
'If I've learned anything from passing through the Caves of Night twice, it's that it's easier to be strong for someone else than for yourself.'
Will touched his cheek. 'You are incredibly strong, Nico di Angelo.'
Nico kissed him. 'We can be strong together.'
Nico imagined the goddess Eleos drawing a gentle blanket of mercy over them while Angelos tucked them into a bed of compassion. With his head nestled against his boyfriend's shoulder, he finally fell asleep.
Chapter 15